Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013

Maz- Wonderful bantering between the boys. They are generally at their funniest and best when they're bickering (and in skilled hands like yours) I would love to read how they get out of there.

Riders - This was a lovely tale. Very understated and a great continuation. It captured men's lack of communication well, with both being too stubborn to make the first move. How typical of the Kid to play down seeing off the raiders.

Penski - As others have said this is a great missing scene from the pilot. I did love Kid's response - 'The Kid’s head plopped back down on the bed. “Guess I’m just gonna go to sleep like this then.”'

It showed two men jaded and fed-up with their lot but who couldn't see any other way to make a change. A very different take on the usual version and definitely full of maybes.

SisterGrace - My delicate sensibilities weren't at all offended in this bittersweet tale. The emotions were captured very well and this really showed what they had thrown away by all those bad choices. A very cheeky start to the story, and so well done because it could be read both ways. Clever and sweet all in one sad little tale.

Calico - Oh, I never thought about borrowing the magic saddlebags for holidays. What a fantastic idea! I can't wait to see what Maz has in store for the Kid (or us) next month, but you certainly set it up well for us. Have a great holiday.

RosieAnnie - I don't think I've ever read a story about Wheat's childhood. I so enjoyed this and it certainly explained how a young man could drift into a life of crime. It had a real ring of truth to it in the rejection of the child from the first marriage by the stepmother and the feckless father. In the course of my work I still meet lost youths like this today. Very well done and original.

InsideOutlaw - Submitting whilst on holiday? That's surely going over and above the call of duty. You caught me by surprise with the twist at the end as the setup all pointed towards the Kid. A great show on how Heyes decided to leave the gun fighting to someone else.

Ghislaine - What a great idea using a period dime novel as inspiration and another original take. I don't think I've ever read a story about Lom deciding to leave the gang. The dynamics of the gang and how Heyes runs things, supported by the Kid, was so well laid out. I loved this line, "they just didn’t enjoy poker as much when he played with them."

Remuda - Bad things do happen when they separate, and I enjoyed the read to find out what it was this time. I did start to think the worse, but the lighter ending came up with just a pensive Heyes not looking where he was going. The Kid's voice of caution was enough to stop Heyes taking too many risks showing just how much they need one another.

SisterGrace -- as others have said, I think this met the PG-13 line as well. Very emotional and well told. Very good characterizations.

Calico -- LOL. In this day and age of airlines charging fees for everything wouldn't magic saddle bags be lovely? Hope you enjoy Alaska.

RosieAnnie -- what an original idea to give us Wheat's backstory and of course he'd keep the name his real mother gave him. Very enjoyable sad tale.

I/O -- glad you took a break from vacation to give us this to enjoy. You did a good job on the role reversal and not revealing which of our outlaws it was till the end. Love the sheriff's advice at the end.

Ghis -- a very enjoyable Lom story. You did a great job of the interaction between the two leaders -- each playing to his strength's creating an amazing whole. Loved the "virgin forest" line and reconsidering it.

Rem -- as always you write so well with your last minute entries. I loved the slow unfolding of just why Heyes was on the ground and enjoyed the considering and rejecting of various possible jobs while he lay there.

Remuda: Oh! When I first started reading this, I thought a gang member, perhaps Kid, had flattened him and that was why he was lying on the ground. Cute reason for what really happened. I liked how you described all the thoughts swirling around his mind as he tried to figure out what was going on. This was a good phrase: the robbing season.

Ouch! Remuda. Poor Heyes. I was trying to guess where he was....Had someone hit him? Was it Kid? Was it Wheat? Had he been captured...but nope just a big ol' branch. Nice touches throughout.

Remuda - I really enjoyed this story. You let us stew on what could have possibly happened to Heyes, gave us a glimpse of what goes on in Heyes' mind, and the bantering between the boys was wonderful.

Maz- The boys stuck in a hole?  Have one of the ladies here been digging in the garden?  I enjoyed the bickering so much.

Riders - As others have said this was a lovely tale.  Both men were written so well.  I felt as though the Kid wished the life was his because it had a sense of longing about it.  A great way to show how Heyes joined the Plumber Gang too.

Penski - The Kid’s head plopped back down on the bed.  “Guess I’m just gonna go to sleep like this then.”'  I felt like I could see them in this one, all tired and weary.  I loved the way they felt the need to change but seemed to drift into it a bit aimlessly and felt like that was the way they made some bad decisions too.  

SisterGrace - Very sad, and very well-written, as always.  This would not offend anyone.  It drew me in hopeing for a good outcome but I always knew that it could not happen.

Calico - You have planned your packing very well!  Magic saddlebags?  I'd love to see them x-rayed at the airport.  Let's hope they didn't forget and leave a weapon in there for you.  Have a lovely time.  

RosieAnnie - It took me a while to realise who this was, but you got me caring about him right from the start.  Somehow you felt that a life of crime was a better choice than this family who merely used him like a beast of burden.  

InsideOutlaw - I did not see this end coming!  So well done and showed how they depended on one another for support.  

Ghislaine - I have never read a story from this perspective.  It showed us how Heyes ran the gang and why Lom respected him so much.  Very different and one I'd like to read more of.  
 
Remuda - You usually write with so much dialogue, and prove that you can also do it so well in narrative.  I did wonder which job had gone wrong while he was lying there on the ground all dazed, and I enjoyed the twist you got into this, as well as showing how the Kid kept Heyes grounded with his caution

Catching up with June before you earlybirds start posting for July . . .

Inside Outlaw: Using your vacation time wisely! I did think it was going to be Kid in this story, and I'm always happy to read something that surprises me. Loved the lines of Heyes' thoughts regarding a good friend and a good horse; "the horse could wait." Hearing Heyes' age also made the remembered story of the parting more logical; they were both really young when they had that argument. As Maz says, "teenage hormones."

Ghislaine: this didn't seem disjointed at all, and it worked as a stand-alone. I always wondered how Lom ended up leaving the DHG, and you present a very plausible take on that. The interplay between the characters was enlightening and realistic, even in the small moments. I'm thinking of Heyes' use of the word "engrossing," and Kid's correcting himself so he didn't use the word "virgin." These small moments really add to the narrative flow.

Remuda: Funny! I wasn't sure, at first, what hit Heyes either, since we were inside his slightly-addled head as he figured out what had happened. The whole concept of Heyes' being so preoccupied that he got hid in the head by a tree seems realistic to me. And he's still so preoccupied that he's laying on the ground, still working over the pros and cons. Nice character study!

Well, I actually found some time to comment on last month's stories. It was a slow start, but the final rush brought forth some really fun tales.


Maz; Really fun story and I could not figure out where they were or why Kid was so upset. I loved the ending. I can still hear them across the landscape complaining and and arguing; Kid being totally justified in his anger and Heyes trying oh so hard to point out what all had gone 'right'! Great bantering. I'm still wondering how they got out of there!

Riders57; Nice homey story of life before the outlawing days. Then of course Heyes making that prophetic decision to join up with Jim Plummer. I thought at first it was Jim Santana, but of course it made sense that it was the other 'Jim' who came first. Typical that both men were waiting for the other to make the first move for a reconciliation.

Penski; Heyes can be quite a pest when he wants to be can't he! You can see that both of them are tired of the lifestyle and no longer have any patience for it or for the 'boys in the gang'. When it's not fun anymore, time to get out! Glad they decided to do it together.

Sister Grace; Sweet story, and sad too. Knowing that they can't admit to love because of all the consequences of that admittance. A very lonely existence even if you do have a partner.

Calico; Oh yes! Another dip into the cat's fantasy world! What fun! Poor Kid. I can understand his concern. Speaking of cats, he must be one too because he'd need all those 9 lives to survive everything that Maz puts him through!

RosieAnnie; This was a very interesting take. I had no idea who Elliott was, not even when you gave the hint of what his mother used to call him. This story certainly explains how he got to be an outlaw and why he's so surly all the time.

InsideOutlaw; You are sneaky! But I must be getting to know you too well, because I suspected right from the start that this was Heyes and not Curry. He's lucky that sheriff was a kind-hearted gentleman and it was too early for the wanted posters. Very prophetic last line!

Ghislaine; This was an interesting look into why Lom decided to leave the gang. Also on how closely the leaders pay attention to the members. They pick up on the subtleties of moods and behavior and then work together to get a clear picture of what is going on. Nice that they could let Lom go with no hard feelings and it certainly paid off for them later in life, didn't it!

Remuda; I loved this story! I couldn't figure out what in the world had happened to him. Of course the first thought is that he was shot, but that kind of goes by the wayside. The fact that he was actually so distracted with thinking that he knocked himself out was hilarious--and very fitting! Then he's laying there in pain and still contemplating the issue!

Wow Keays what a cliffhanger!

Personally after all that talking I think he shot the sheriff! 

Tell me he didn't shoot Kid or we may no longer be friends! 

You'll have to read 'The Trap' over on WetPaint to find out for sure Maz!

How fun to come home to a slew of stories!

Maz:  I could just picture this scene and, as usual, the dialogue sparkled!

Riders57: This is such an enjoyable tale of their separation and I am glad you are continuing it.  Too bad that Heyes is alway ready taking his turn for the worse, but it sounds as if the Kid won't be too far behind.

Penski:  Great missing scene from the pilot.  This was nicely written and true to character.

Sistergrace:  I found this touching, not maudlin, and very effective at capturing the pain of giving your heart to someone who can't or won't keep it.

Calico: Happy hiking and thanks for the parting chuckles.  Have a great time in Alaska!!

RosieAnnie: Great tale of how Wheat got his name and shaped his character.  His home life was awful to read about and how sad that his father so abused him after he lost his mother.  I did pick up on who Elliot was when you explained how he got his nickname from his mother, but that only added to the enjoyment.

Ghislaine: I loved this story about Lom and his decision to leave the gang.  It seemed authentic to me and I especially liked this line, "...don't take this the wrong way - we hope we never see you again."  Little did they know!

Remuda: Heyes's sure can do a lot of thinking in a short time.  Loved the banter when the Kid came looking for him.  Fun story.

 You been spying on me Sister Grace?

You suggesting I would purposefully fatten Kid up so he couldn't escape? 

Purposefully keeping him in the basement?
Purposefully keeping him all too myself?

So, like Winnie the Kid, he couldn't escape?



TOO RIGHT!!!! 

Ps...love the dang challenge  

 You don't think you have a clone!

Part of the reason you have not heard from me is work and we are pulling hay from our six fields this time of year. But, the other reason is because all of you Authors sucked me back down into reading rather then writing. I have made it through all the independent tales on ASJ fan fiction and all of Virtual Season 2008/2009. I have enjoyed your work immensely from gripping suspense to moments of silly giggles. Thank you to each and everyone of you for the labor and time you put in supplying these wonderful, wonderful stories.  

Maz: Oh, wow--this was great! You really should write angst more, you do it so well. Poor Heyes. I guessed Kid was gone (what--you let him cross the Pond to visit Grace and me???) but loved the way you built up to the explicit telling. And interesting that Heyes didn't want to connect with Lom--usually, he/they do so this was a nice twist.

Keays: For anyone who has yet to read Twist of Fate, this gives a very good introduction to that story. And, of course and as always, you ended on a cliffhanger--your specialty!

SisterGrace: Oh la la! Best response to a comment I've ever read! And best line I've read in a story in a long time: "You've been trapped in a cougar's den alright, Kid," Heyes chuckled. LOL! Loved everything about this!

WichitaRed: Happy birthday! I enjoyed your story--it has a very clever plot. Putting Heyes in jail to keep him safe was a great idea and the banter around that was lots of fun. Olly was an interesting character--would like to read more about him. Matilda strikes me as being not quite all there--hope she's learned her lesson.

Maz: I liked how you never really said that the Kid was dead, but the whole story and Heyes's despondency led us to believing he was. Very well done!

Keays: Boy, if this one doesn't fit the prompt I don't know what does. What a chilling build up and a great chapter to post to bring people to your epic story!

Sistergrace: A yellow bandana? Heck, I don't know about the rest of you, but I want the dark-haired yellow bandana holder (not that I'd kick that light-haired fella to the curb)! Fun story.

Witchita Red: Cleverly done story about the Kid watching his partner's back whether he liked it or not. Heyes's reaction to being drugged and jailed was a hoot to read. I agree with Ghislaine that Mattie seemed pretty disturbed. Olly, however, seemed like a loyal friend and a good character.

Maz -- a very angsty story.  I hope you finish it, and the poor Kid survives.  Guess he was right when the moaned "I'm dead" when Calico told him you were setting this month's prompt.

Keays -- I was surprised.  It's not often I get such a strong sense of deja vu when reading one of the stories responding to the monthly writing prompt challenge.  Then I realized it's from TOF and that explained it.  As always, your writing is good, playing on our emotions and drawing us in.

SisterGrace -- Curry-the-Pooh, huh?  Does that make Heyes piglet?  LOL -- so torture by frappucino (frapuccino-boarding?) -- how unusual.  Fun story.   

WitchitaRed -- I'm glad you posted this month and Happy Birthday!     What an interesting idea to lock Heyes up to protect him.  And how ruthless of the Kid to drug Heyes to do it.  Fun story to read.

Ghislaine -- What a fish tale and fun take on the prompt -- lying in wait indeed.  Love the discussion of who went first with the "ladies."

Catching up . . . .

Keays: A perfect fit for the prompt. Of course, you had to leave it as a cliffhangar, because there is a whole lot of story that comes after this moment.

Sister Grace: Oh you wicked wicked woman! Gagging Kid with a yellow bandanna? Filling him with frappucinos? Oh the shame! The torture! The caffeine withdrawal! All is well at the end, since you and Ghislaine are so gracious to share Our Boys!

Wichita Red: I always like to see a Kid Curry plan, and this is a good one. This must have taken place early in their criminal career, since the reward is still comparatively low. You give some good lines to the secondary characters. I'm thinking of the Deputy's response when he sees Heyes' reaction to the cell door closing: "The wanted ones all cringe when they hear that door shut." Olly makes a real impression when he threatens Matilda. And you got the prompt in there, too. Good stuff.

Ghislaine: A nice version of saddle talk, The back and forth about Priscilla was fun. The last line "always have and always will" is strong. I see it being spoken casually, a calm statement of fact.

Riders 57: Poor Kid! I doubt that's the kind of redhead he was hoping to meet, but the way his luck's been running, he shouldn't be surprised. That's a man who appreciates his creature comforts, like a good meal and a solid night's sleep. And poor Heyes! Talk about a rude awakening! Or three. What a fun story! Well, fun for me, anyway. The Boys thought outrunning a posse was tough. Turns out it's harder to escape from a woodpecker.

Riders57: Well, that sure was a hoot!    Definitely a different take on the prompt...  Poor Kid; I can see how being sleep deprived would make him a little testy.  Liked the ending from Heyes' POV, with the woodpecker not bothering him at all.  Fun story!

WichitaRed - Love how the Kid is going to protect Heyes, even if it means putting him in jail.  They have to be young or the deputy would have known the name & the bounty wouldn't be $900.  Still not sure that the Kid would have used Heyes' real name, though.  What an interesting plot having a woman trying to kill him for an inheritance - very unique!  Thank goodness Olly came along when he did - don't know what our boys would have done without him!  I wouldn't mind another story with Olly in it.  What a nice birthday present to your readers - thanks!

Ghislaine - Hey, your writer's block must've ended - TWO challenges in a row!  LOL... love your interpretation of the prompt - very clever!  All dialog and once it started, it was easy to see who was who.  Hilarious with the lies!  Loved it!

Riders - Oh, I see similarities between your story and Everything Else You Can Steal with the Kid having night duty.  Dang woodpecker!  Very cute how it tormented the Kid and made him more tired & crabby.  Heyes hasn't a clue why the Kid is so proddy.  Love the ending how Curry finally gets rest and Heyes enjoys the sound of the woodpecker, or the "friendly redhead".