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  Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013

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Penski
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Thu Jul 25, 2013 7:35 pm

Glad you wrote, Christina, even if it was under ten words. Hmm... my gut feeling was that was Heyes talking and he was killed. Maybe shot in the back. How interesting!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Fri Jul 26, 2013 11:02 am

Christina -- such an economy of story-telling. It is very difficult to say so much in so few words. Congratulations.

Remuda -- a saddle-talk plus. Very cute. So Heyes is not able to put one over on the Kid today, huh. As was said in Bounty Hunter -- we all have off days. So much for Heyes' silver-tongued magic today. I like the multiple waits in your final lines. Very enjoyable all around.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Fri Jul 26, 2013 4:17 pm

Christina: Okay, I admit it: I don't get it.  My first thought was you posted in error before finishing the story.  My second was: if that was intentional, it could mean anything and I have no idea what it could be.  Sorry!

Remuda: Fun story.  I liked how Kid was fixated on sleeping in a nice, soft bed.  The dialog was believable and probably not the first time they'd had that conversation.  Favorite line: “Uh huh.  I win when it suits ya.”

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Sat Jul 27, 2013 8:10 am

RosieAnnie - I always enjoy your stories and this one did not disappoint. Wait for It, indeed. LOL. Great last line. So a gathering of cowboy poets, huh. Reminds me of my favorite cowboy poet from NPR -- Baxter Black the former large animal veterinarian -- of course that always led to comments about whether he was a former veterinarian of large animals or a vet whose animals used to be large. Great story, how fun would it be to kick back and be themselves and have no one believe it, in a town with no sheriffs.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Sat Jul 27, 2013 1:39 pm

Remuda - Loved the bathtub scene with the Kid trying to sleep and Heyes complete absorbed in the newspaper, not listening to what his partner is saying.  Love how you worded this line - Slow to ante and early to quit, the turnaround of gamblers soon left Hannibal Heyes the one seated longest and with the largest pile of cash.  Nice use of the prompt word.

RosieAnnie - Great descriptions in your challenge!  I can so picture how tired Heyes was.  Loved the interaction between him and his horse!  LOL... poor Heyes when he saw his real name on the register!  What an interesting and clever story!  I've heard great things about cowboy poetry in Elko, NV.  Wonder if Wait For It, NV is nearby.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Jul 29, 2013 6:09 am

RosieAnnie: Oh boy, I'd love to see the expression on Heyes' face when he found out who Kid had roped him into being!  What a clever story!  Reenactments of the 19th century while it's still the 19th century.  The beginning implies a different kind of story, more serious, but once Heyes enters the hotel, the tone changes.  Loved the reaction when Heyes saw his real name in the register book.  Lots of good lines; here are my favorite:
a) The horse snorted. He’d heard it all before.
b) Heyes looked at the rumbled bed coverings and his half-dressed partner. “Yeah, you look like you’re about to ride out of here.” (This banter is so typical of the series.)
Well done!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Jul 29, 2013 9:07 am

Ghislaine: I loved the banter in this one and the very clever use of the prompt. I could just picture them hidden away, waiting to pull a job, and filling the time this way.

Riders: This story struck a nerve. I have harbored murderous intent for more than a few woodpeckers pecking away at the redwood siding on my last home. Poor Kid, no wonder he snapped. I am glad, though, that his tormentor survived his quick draw. Did he wing him? (sorry, couldn't resist!)

Christina: Very good! It took me a minute to figure out the reference, but it hit hard when I did.

Remuda:I always enjoy your dialogue and this was no exception. I liked the glimpse into a quiet break in their lives and their casual bickering. Good last line.

RosieAnnie: What a clever story! Loved the name, "Wait for It, Nevada" and the cowboy poetry reading. I felt for Heyes arriving exhausted and getting such a shock. Great dialogue, too, and I liked the Kid enjoying a joke on his partner.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:49 pm

Penski: I really liked how you went from gangmember to gangmember offering up their thoughts before a job. I felt a little tension myself, knowing that the train would soon arrive. Somehow I have the terrible feeling that things might not go well for Billy Owens.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Jul 29, 2013 2:49 pm

Penski:  For someone who didn't have an idea yesterday, you sure came up with a good one for today!  What a great idea to describe the tension of various gang members as they waited for the train to arrive so they could begin the robbery.  I really enjoyed seeing the different perspectives of the outlaws.  Kyle and Kid were best, in my opinion.  Also really liked how your subtitles all began with prepositions.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Wed Jul 31, 2013 6:40 am

Maz - The Kid, lying in Heyes' arms bleeding?!?!?!  Sheesh, Curry should wear a helmet or maybe a full suit of armor in your stories!  I like how the description of Heyes' surroundings are as bleak as his emotional state. Loved this, Maz!

Keays - It doesn't sound like this Sheriff Morrison is the kind of sheriff our guys would want to get hauled in by.  Layton must not have too many scruples either, shooting an unsuspecting victim.  Suspenseful cliff hanger!

WichitaRed - Ooo, so the Kid locks Heyes up for his own good.  Very interesting idea for a story!  Enjoyable and well written.  Hope your birthday was great.

Ghislaine - This was a very enjoyable snippet of dialog!  I especially liked these lines:

"...And then we’ll have to lie to the boys about why we can’t do this job. C'mon; follow me!”

“Always have and always will.”


I guess that COULD mean that the fellas have always lied to the boys of the Devil's Hole Gang about jobs, or that where one of them goes, the other is sure to follow, now and always.  Either way, I like it!


riders57 - I must say, your story had me giggling all the way through.  Thank you for this light-hearted, wonderfully written piece!

Christina - So few words, such a powerful punch!  Excellent!  Hmmm... I think I just used more words to comment on your story than you used to write it!  Clapping!

Remuda - Very well written with fun dialog and a great closing line for a kicker!


RosieAnnie - What a hoot!  Your challenge is priceless, with so many great lines!  I especially enjoyed Heyes' conversations with his horse and your revealing of his inner thoughts, like, "So much for the silver tongue."  The conversation between Curry and Heyes (I mean the REAL Curry and Heyes!) feels very authentic.  Love the last line!

Penski - This is a wonderful challenge!  Lots of little snippets of different points of view, all covering the same tiny moment in time.  Well done!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Wed Jul 31, 2013 7:40 pm

Inside Outlaw - Oh... I thought I knew who I was going to vote for and now I'm not so sure - that was great!  Very angsty and well written.  Loved Heyes' Plan B of saying who he really was.  And his partner didn't let him down.  Great challenge!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Wed Jul 31, 2013 9:42 pm

Claybank - Dang, what a job you must have if it's loosely based on this story.  So you agree with Heyes and the Kid that cows are stupid?  Very entertaining story and educational, too.  Thanks for taking the time to write it!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:31 am

Claybank: Cute story. Mabel certainly wasn't about to be bamboozled by two ex-conmen! Lucky for Heyes that he saw trouble brewing and got them out of there before they had to gather up the herd again.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Thu Aug 01, 2013 8:34 am


1) Maz
Ah, my delightful runner – who held my crease for me so helpfully while I was away.
Awwww, Maz! That was sad!! Dang well written but sad! And after we’d assured Kid he might get injured – but never killed – on your challenge watch.

2) Keays
Oooh, a Butch and Sundance style super posse are after our boys. Cue tense music.
Now, are the boys coming out separately ‘cos they know? Are they toying with the posse?
Pom pom pom – good place to end it Keays! What a way to tease us!

3) Sistergrace
[Sister Grace currently HAS a yellow bandanny accessorising her elegant neck – so her story this month is for sharing not polling.]
Snirting loudly here! Poor old Kid. He rarely escapes from Maz’s cellar these days! Glad to hear you and Ghis broke him out. And he was right! She was plotting grizzly story lines for the blue-eyed one. Aww – has he turned into Curry the Pooh??
Treat those outlaws nicely, gals – they bruise like peaches you know.

4) WichitaRed
So – Kid is going to hide Heyes where no one else can get at him – in jail. OH – I see, and that’s why he’s double checking how many lock picks HH has. This is clever Wichita Red. Poor old HH – is that Black Jack Jenny who’s slipped him a Mickey Finn??
HH is only worth $900. Hmm, ladies – I propose a whipround, then he’ll be ours, all ours!!

5) Ghislaine Emrys
[Like dear Sister Grace, Ghis is already bescarved in canary hues and will not be polled.]
Awww, sniff. Even reminiscing about when they were liddle gets to me. Oh, Ghis – I absolutely love the last lines… “…Follow me.” “Always have and always will.” Once again, sniff.

6) Guest Number One
Wha-hayyyy!!! One of my prompts got used!! But I guess Kid is NOT getting the Rita Hayworth kind of redhead, huh?
This Imelda – does she have a thing for shoes??? And – can I have round the clock cover from the boys?
Clever! “Da da da da da – Da da da da da – It’s the Woody Woodpecker show!” Poor old Kid!
Oooh – can I see Kid using a good old slingshot?
Is it wrong that I’m kinda rooting for the woodpecker??
What a different – and fine feathery – take on the prompt.

7) ChristinaASJ

Oooh – short but telling. Now, when I read this I thought ‘haiku’ – then, nah, too short to be a haiku – but then looked it up and it says can be shorter than 17 or 12 syllables. So, is that Heyes’ last words… or Kid’s last words to a son… or Pa Curry to our Kid… Who knows.

8) Guest Number Two
Ah, a place name! Always a clever twist.
Awww, Kid – you should always play along with the coin toss! It’s a tradition we lurve!
Let us linger on the bath scene for a while. Hey, I’m reading the paper over HH’s shoulder – honest!
And – so we leave them – lying in Waite! Nice. Zzzzz, Boys.

9) RosieAnnie
Another place name! I’m loving ‘Wait For It’ before I even get there!!
Aw, bless – loving the cynical horse who’s heard it all before.
Already two Hannibal Heyes… So… You have me all intrigued Rosie Annie. Is it… Is it a gathering of us lot? Western tourists!! Huzzah. Any Calamity Janes needed? Oh gosh, poor old Heyes having to be Wheat. What a great place to end it!

10) Penski
Aww, I’m feeling all worried for Billy already. Is this gonna end badly, Penski?
Dear Kyle, there’s a man who loves his work.
I remember the asterisks!!! Beam.
Oh. Are you a keeping us on tenter hooks?? I was just getting really into that, Penski. Though, I still have a bad feeling over what’s going to happen to sweet young Billy.

11) Inside Outlaw
Oh Heyes! Picked the wrong alias, huh? Tense situation Inside. Ah, shades of For a Fistful of Dollars as they measure our boy for a wooden overcoat. Will Kid ride to the rescue? Inside! You tricked me! We know whose blue eyes those are. Clever!! That was an excellent variation on the jail break theme.

12) Claybank
It’s no good cussing that cow, Kid. Cows – like cats – really don’t care. You see boys, this is why you avoid the hard on the back kind of work. This story can’t be right! They got paid and got to keep the money – smile. I think Mabel should reappear, Claybank.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Thu Aug 01, 2013 8:47 am

InsideOutlaw:  Oh, that was wonderful!  Very, very suspenseful and angsty--just how I like it.   I had a feeling I knew who the undertaker was…  So many good lines--too many to choose just one.   And you used the prompt in at least two different ways: Heyes lying about his name and then waiting in the jail cell, and again at the end of the story.  Clever you!

Claybank: This was so descriptive--I could really picture all the settings of the story.  The one-horned cow reminded me of the one in Journey from San Juan.  The rancher didn't seem all that crazy--I bet he lived alone and his cattle were all the family he has; that's why he was so protective of them.  But good instincts on the boys' part about the cattle's behavior once they were in the corral.  I liked this line: “Babysittin’ four hundred cows is three hundred and ninety-nine too many.”

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Thu Aug 01, 2013 8:56 am

I love this month's title, Calico - and the reason you've chosen it sm
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Thu Aug 01, 2013 10:41 am

Thanks for all your comments; I appreciate them – especially as they are all longer than my story.

I thought you might be interested to know what inspired me to write my shortest story (so far). jocolor

Legend has it that Ernest Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in six words and apparently there have been ‘six word story’ competitions.

Of course, my story isn’t six words but nine as I have used the title to set it in context.

I wrote and posted it on the spur of the moment as a challenge to myself to see if I could convey my story in so few words to you the reader.

There have been at least four different interpretations of the story and maybe you have others. So perhaps I failed the challenge. Certainly a few hours after I posted I saw how I could have made my meaning clearer by writing the same nine words in a different way.

Does it matter? Is it okay for a story to be ambiguous? Indeed, is it better or should I have edited my original post?


BTW Hemingway’s story?  

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Thu Aug 01, 2013 12:36 pm

MAZ; Angsty tale. Poor Heyes not only loosing his partner but ending up going to prison as well. Can't say the Sheriff was too sympathetic to his plight. Like a good challenge story, this one leaves the reader wanting more.

SISTERGRACE; Cut little ditty. Poor Kid being held in Maz's basement and now too hefty to make a fast get-away. Not to worry Kid, there's always plenty of ladies willing to come to your rescue!

WICHITARED; This was fun. Heyes first couldn't believe his partner was doing this to him. Turned out to was the safest place for him--and even then not safe enough! Bad enough having the law after them but now someone is out to get him because of a rather inconvenient resemblance to someone else. Wonder if her wayward husband was ever mistaken for Hannibal Heyes?

GHISLAINE; Great banter as usual. Loved how they both were deliberately misunderstanding what the other was saying. Nice final line--very fitting.

GUEST (?); I really enjoyed this one and can relate to the Kid's frustration. Not only having the night shift, but having an annoying bird keep him awake day after day! Then to make it worse, Heyes hears the same bird and finds the sound relaxing! Still, glad the Kid wasn't able to get off a fatal shot.

CRISTINA-ASJ; I must admit at first I was disappointed with this. I saw that another story had been posted and clicked on anticipating a nice read before going to bed. Then it's just a one-liner! After I got over the let-down however, I found myself intrigued by it's simplicity and yet highly effective in conveying an emotion. Again, like a really good challenge story, this one definitely leaves the reader wanting more! I have no problem with ambiguity in a story and it's amazing how many different scenarios we can all come up with.

ANOTHER GUEST (Oh dear); Nice to see Kid being in top form here and keeping ahead of Heyes and his silver tongue. Not to mention his weighted coin! Kid's no dummy.

ROSIEANNIE; Great name for a town. Loved the conversation with the horse. These things actually do take place out on the trail, so it's nice to see them show up in our writings. Bit of a shock for Heyes to have the hotel manager write down his real name! Kid still has quite the sense of humour in choosing Heyes' avatar for him. That's not even funny--well, as far as Heyes is concerned.

PENSKI; This was an interesting story; showing the numerous different time lines of the various outlaws. All the little things that each are thinking about as they wait for that train to show up. Kyle sure does like blowing things up, doesn't he?

INSIDEOUTLAW; What a nasty turn of events for Heyes. How ironic it would have been to be hanged under an alias for something he didn't even do. Had a feeling the undertaker would be his ever watchful partner! I wonder what he did with the real undertaker.

CLAYBANK; Those dang animals! Just don't always do what they're suppose to do--do they? And we call them stupid! Mabel sure didn't want to be penned up and she made her point very clear. The boys were smart to leave the vicinity as quickly as possible. Really appreciate you referring to Kid's gelding as a 'seal-brown'. I think I'm the only one who's ever done that before, most referring to him as a 'black'. Or a 'dark brown' neither of which is correct. Just as Heyes' horse was a red dun and not a chestnut. Have to give them a break though; you kind of have to be a horsey person to know that.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Thu Aug 01, 2013 2:56 pm

Catching up, now that July's over (wait. . . pause for moment of incredulity . . . okay, I can continue now) and all the entries are in.

Christina ASJ: Talk about saying a lot with a few words! But I want to know who is saying those words? I have a couple candidates myself.

Guest: Fun banter between the boys. It's good to see Kid get ahead of Heyes just a bit, at the beginning. I also enjoyed the physical description of the town. It sounded like one of those German settlements in Texas I've heard about. And Kid meets a friendly redhead! Very pleasant interlude for us readers and for the boys.

Penski: By visiting with each of these people, you really build up the tension and suspense. Kyle's dialogue is priceless. I also like the way you wrapped up the whole story with the Curry/Heyes section, them overhearing Kyle's excitement and talking about Billy the newbie. This made me want to know what happened next!

Inside Outlaw: I was wondering how you were going to get Heyes out of that fix, or if you were! You reminded me of "Wrong Train to Brimstone." The boys could handle one alias, but they couldn't keep track of a second. For once, Heyes didn't think something through, and it almost cost him his life. Ironic that he might have had to admit to his real identity as the preferred alternative. And who knows if the sheriff would have believed that? Maybe he would after finding lock picks and knives, the sort of thing sneaky H.H. might have carried.

Claybank: Clever! Loved the dialogue between the boys. That was a tough boss they had: 399 is not 400! Luckily for them, Heyes was smart enough to demand their money right then and there. And it sounds like they rode out of there just in time! Now I'm wondering if you were the one chasing Mabel!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Thu Aug 01, 2013 5:20 pm

Comments for the rest of the LYING IN WAIT challenges-

InsideOutlaw - Great story!  An entire episode full of excitement packed into one small challenge!  Really liked this line:

The waiting was going to kill him before the noose did!


And the closing line fit perfectly!


Claybank - Phew!  You had one heck of a busy morning, Claybank! Glad you decided to compile it into and ASJ challenge and share it with all of us.  Very enjoyable.

Comment for the I'M OUTTA HERE challenge -


WichitaRed
- Cute story, Red!  Very visual too.  Especially liked the picture painted with these lines:  

Kid once more nodded toward Kyle.

Heyes frowned.

Kid frowned.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Thu Aug 01, 2013 7:10 pm

Wichita Red: You managed to take very dangerous conditions in the explosives storage area and turn it all into a cute story and a character study. I was amused by Wheat's "out of here" scene at the start and the way he says good-bye, just in case . . . you know. Many good lines, but my favorite might be Kyle's, talking about the unstable dynamite: "They's just too beautiful." One short line, but it gives tremendous insight into Kyle's character. Fun story!

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PostSubject: I'm Outta Here   Fri Aug 02, 2013 1:17 pm

Maz MacCoy
I enjoyed your tale and I do hope you finish it letting us know how they wind up out of the trap. There is something about the two of them ripping at each other which just brings a grin to my face. I think because I can see it all so clearly and despite the grousing you know they still -- well love each other. I agree with Kid in all cases here....about shooting him and getting far away from him. In both cases I can see Heyes hurt look and it makes you feel for him. Although we do all know it was his mouth that got both of them at the bottom of a hole. HURRAH well done!

GUEST
I recognize this tale...read it in the archives earlier this year. Enjoyed it quite a bit. Thought it was great characterization on both young men and I liked the one you showed off their changing personalities. But I particularly liked your descriptions of scenarios and the action.

PENSKI
Wow what a great tale. I love that you had them come back to the Hole before going to see Lom. Showing there was true thought process behind this major step they took in their lives. Thanks for showing Heyes is a good shot too, seems like he is often over looked in this category and that Kid has a level head on his shoulders too. Overall I enjoyed the comfortable feeling of your tale and the shift from being outlaws who might be dead at any time to men who were ready for a new challenge for riding the straight and narrow. Well done.

SISTER GRACE
Okay it was angsty but I loved it. Loved that you never said who the man was so each of us could put our outlaw of choice into the role. Of course mine was Heyes..not the hard hearted woman avoider he seems to be but a man wanting a home and love and peace. You made my heart ache for him. Good writing.

CALICO
"Muhahahah!" Oh poor Kid...his fear may be justified. Please, tell me you took Heyes along with you to Alaska...cold winter nights up there you know. Cute tale... hey you could always send them back to KS I would be happy to watch over them while your off gallivanting. Always get big old grins from your creative "they really exist" tales...makes me feel less crazy

ROSEI ANNIE
Oh my gosh Annie... you made me cry. This was so well written. I have insight in what you were writing and this deeply touched me. Will actually alter how I see Wheat in the future. Whatever brought this idea to you??? Whatever it was you ran with it created quite the emotional tale that gave a deep insight into the character who is Wheat Carleson. I will keep you image of him in my mind as I write in the future. Thank you for the insights... well, well done.

INSIDE OUTLAW
I liked your opening. So many times there are bullets and no one really ever discusses how badly they hurt. I thought your opening was good. But I have to say you tricked me...which of course was your plan. I ran back up the story to see where your clues might have lay. . . part of it is the speech/thought pattern. I knew that was throwing me when I read the story..but at the end I understood why. I was trying to assign the wrong character to the speech/thought pattern. I will say your line 'there wasn't a smile left in me.' instantly made me think of Heyes though. I also liked this line, "I tensed and cringed away from the close proximity of that tin star pinned to his shirt and pressing into my cheek." But looking back...I see this was you clue, "He had a way of balancing me and keeping me in check. One well-placed word from him had often kept me from letting my temper get the best of me. If he’d still been with me, none of this would’ve happened. He understood me like no one else ever had or ever would. Not even my folks." Moment I re-read it I saw Heyes and not Kid. Well done. Bravo!

GHISLAIN EMRYS
Interesting tale...liked seeing your version of Heyes the Outlaw reader. There is something in how you wrote him that really tickled my fancy. Specially liked, "Heyes tossed some coins to the center of the table and commenced to play. Even with his mind only a quarter on the game—one quarter was already planning the next job, a third quarter was on the work the men needed to start doing to fix up the Hole for winter, and the last fourth was on Trevors," I enjoyed following Trevors along as he tried to figure out where to aim his horse for the rest of his life and the entire tale rolled out smoothly, a very enjoyable read. Well Done.

GUEST
Poor Heyes...that daydreaming and riding is a dangerous as texting and driving when you are riding mountain trails. Good thing for him ... the blow actually allowed him to clear his mind and that his horse stayed near and Kid caught up to him. Entertaining...thanks.

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PostSubject: Lying in Wait   Fri Aug 02, 2013 4:23 pm

LYING IN WAIT

MAZ MCCOY
Good Writing Maz...I know it was because it disturbed me. Nothing like an author who can give you that cold chill feeling. Well Done.

KEAYS
Alright I am such an outlaw at heart because as I read about Morrison's plans I found myself disliking him. WHY? Because it was obvious he was/is good at his job and he was going after my favorite outlaws. Then ARGH! you left it all hanging in the open... okay which tale did you take this from. And, by goodness by golly I hope Richard's aim is off.

SISTER GRACE
Cute... too cute. But, I hate to tell Curry he is wrong. We would compete for them over the dang bandana any month they name. mmmmm to be able to win time with Heyes. Don't we all dream that. Well I suppose I few Kidettes might say otherwise... specially Maz. Very Cute Grace.

GHISLAINE EMRYS
Nice tip in on a conversation...so male of them. I can see Heyes waggling his eyebrows and grinning as he talking about Priscilla. Enjoyed it. Very Fun

GUEST
"Heyes knocked softly and entered the room to find himself staring down the barrel of the Kid’s gun. He raised his hands. “You got me, partner.” He laughed and flipped his hat onto his bed." made me giggle... can't imagine being around a Kid Curry who was jumpy...seems like an extremely dangerous position to be in. And, I love Curry knocking Heyes out of bed and his comments about Curry getting old. Made me snort. And...what fun dialogue “Heyes, lie down and take a nap or I swear I will knock you unconscious.” ---- “Fine. I’ll take a nap, but after that I’m gonna flatten you.” As you can see your little comedy overall really tickled my funny bone. thanks for the giggles.

CHRISTINAASJ
See I said early being around a jumpy Kid is a dangerous position to be in.

GUEST 2
"UH Huh. I win when it suits ya." Awesome line....love it. :0) Enjoyed your pun... even though it was a groaner. Enjoyed spending a quiet evening with my favorite boys too. Well done.

ROSIE ANNIE
Yes ma’am, I sure can. Not so’s you can read it, but I can write.” Terrific Hannibal Heyes line if I ever read one. However, I would have loved to have seen his face when she wrote HANNIBAL HEYES on the ledger. and pure orneriness on Kid's behalf to label him as Wheat. But this event sounds like a fun one to join in on...when's the date???? :0)

PENSKI
Well written.... and ready for more. What happens next? Enjoyed the perspective from each outlaw and the go around between Kyle & Wheat balanced by the go around between Kid & Heyes was terrific.

INSIDE OUTLAW
Oh my gosh talk about Hannibal Heyes bad luck..he aliased himself as a killer. Excellent piece of writing here, "he famous Hannibal Heyes was going to get hung under another man’s name, all because he’d been impatient and bored. His well-known silver tongue was going to be the instrument of his death. Once the Kid got over the shock of losing him, he’d have to have a laugh over that!" It sounds like it truly came straight from Heyes. And, I see you too hold a belief that disarming Heyes is in many ways like disarming Fort Knox. Absolutely loved that Kid brought him a lock pick...such a simple way to get him out and then bolstered him back up with Whiskey. Great story. :0)

CLAYBANK
“Don’t make me mad? I’m already mad!” LOL very awesome...can hear this from either of them but can really seeing Curry growling and saying it. And talk about a line which is a complete roll reversal... "Heyes shot him a dirty look. “That’s because you’re talkin’.” made me snort when I read it. Fun read but it sounded like an irritating day of work. Thanks for sharing.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Sat Aug 03, 2013 5:46 am

WichitaRed: Great June challenge story-better late than never! I loved the whole situation with Wheat making his getaway; Heyes having to chastise a less than sorry Kyle; and the Kid's not wanting to participate in this leadership exercise. Loved Kyle's lines about keeping the dynamite because it had sentimental value and, gosh darn it, it was so beautiful. Well done.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Sat Aug 03, 2013 8:14 am

Wichita Red - Spring cleaning time at the Hole in the dynamite shack... What a great, and very important safety issue, idea for a story!  Interesting to hear about the dynamite and what happens when it gets old.  I'm guessing you did some homework - can you really burn it without it exploding?  Learn something new every day.  Interesting, too, that a shelf that absorbed nitro would be explosive.  Enjoyed that the Kid was nearby to watch his partner's back, but not too close.  Good challenge.

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