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 Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014

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Calico

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PostSubject: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Sun Sep 15, 2013 11:45 pm

Let it never be said I don't obey the word of the board maitresse


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Maz

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Mon Sep 16, 2013 3:33 pm

Bored mattress?

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Mon Sep 16, 2013 9:12 pm

Board madness padded 

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Mon Sep 16, 2013 10:05 pm

Maz - What a fun story of the boys changing where they get to sit and someone getting the best of them.  Heyes is going to learn about quilting... snicker!  Wonder Ranch story and take of the prompt!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Wed Sep 18, 2013 3:55 pm

Maz - Ah... The place-cards are on the table!  Clever gal you are.  Even more clever than Heyes, switching those cards, and Jed, and that Bjorn Borg-ensen.  Cute story.  Lots of fun!  And of course Jed was seated next to the mayor's daughter! lol2 

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Wed Sep 18, 2013 7:44 pm

Very funny, story Maz.

Uh huh: Mrs Bunderson, the town clerk’s wife and from what he had overheard, lover of cats:scratch: methinks there are a few lovers of cats on this board, being gently teased.

Love the nice yucky bit: “I am so sorry, Mrs Douglas, but my Uncle had a boil to lance and he needed my help to hold the patient down. After that I sure hope we’re not having cream cheese.” cool 

And a clever ending. thumbsup 

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Thu Sep 19, 2013 10:26 am

Maz: Yay, a ranch days tale! Loved the visuals in this one, each of them sneaking around the others back and both of them getting skunked. Very funny last line, too.Laughing 

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:38 pm

First, I want to apologize for not commenting on stories in a while. This summer has turned out to be quite hectic! I've been trying to catch up on my reading the last couple of weeks. Anyway, I'm going to start anew with September and try to keep up this time! So...

Maz - Love a Ranch Days story! And this one was especially cute with the boys changing the cards and trying to get a better seating position. Loved how it ended with neither getting to sit beside Clem. How fitting to have Jed next to the mayor's daughter! Great last line!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:31 am

Christina ASJ - I'm loving your story in the overspill area! You've built the tension well and I'm real interested in reading the completed version. Hope you'll post when it's finished :)

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Sat Sep 21, 2013 6:18 am

Maz, I am inventing a new word for stories that find an imaginative way to use the prompt and include snappy banter and fun character development, and that is MazTastic. I could very easily see some proper town matrons who want to introduce the young people of the town to each other and to proper society in a "safe" environment, and the young people dreading almost every minute of it. Bjorn outsmarted our boys, and ended up with a more agreeable companion than an expert on quilts.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Sat Sep 21, 2013 9:47 am

Christina ASJ - What an intriguing story you have posted in the overspill area! I envy your ability to write about the boys playing cards - I don't know much about cards games to feel comfortable writing them playing. So Ralph and Jake are the boys playing cards with the Kid and they have Heyes & Curry at the beginning tied up at the house, it sounds like, with the sheriff coming tomorrow. But the sheriff was around while the card playing was on. I'd love to know what happened in that week when the boys are captured. Very good story.

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PostSubject: re: Awestruck Comments   Sun Sep 22, 2013 5:19 pm

Maztastic! (I love the new word, RosieAnnie!)

And I love me some Ranch Days stories! Keep 'em coming, Maz. You always get the characters just perfect at any age, but there's something extra special about young Kid and young Heyes. (And young Clem too, with her deliciously disgusting analogy.) Really enjoyed this story!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Sun Sep 22, 2013 10:02 pm

BeeJay - I absolutely loved the two letters to the folks and to friend Bucky.  You wouldn't know it's the same guy and the same trip.  Bet William was entertaining to his employees, Smith and Jones.  sigh... Oh to hire the boys to take you around the West.  I'm jealous!  Hilarious story - thanks for the laughs!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:45 am

BeeJay, I like using the letter to home device, having used it myself a couple times. I think it can be an effective way to convey first-person stories, and you certainly proved it here. The letters to different people show the different faces your protagonist presents to the world. He's a bit of a bad boy, isn't he? And he found just the right companions to lead him into a little bit of fun, away from his controlling parents. He's not exactly stupid, either, because he observes nervous reactions from Heyes and Curry but, in the end, can't quite convince himself he was with some notorious outlaws. Good stuff.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Mon Sep 23, 2013 8:14 am

BeeJay: Yes, what are the odds?  Very clever and entertaining tale.  Rufus has the heart of a criminal and, who knows, a few more weeks with Smith and Jones and he might have found his true calling.  Great story!sm

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Mon Sep 23, 2013 3:45 pm

Beejay absolutely brilliant!! Love the letters home from William/Rufus to Mater, Pater and Bucky. Could imagine it all.
Bravo!!!Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Mon Sep 23, 2013 7:24 pm

Ghislaine - Another clever one!  I love that song and was humming away while reading it.  Favorite lines...
You never count the money before the safe's blown open.
There'll be time enough for countin' when all the stealin's done.

"Now ev'ry outlaw knows that the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' who to trust and that you sow what you reap.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Mon Sep 23, 2013 8:24 pm

Ghislaine, outstanding. I can't think of the melody right now, so I read it as poetry. Nice adaptation, and as Penski says -very clever.yes 



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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Tue Sep 24, 2013 12:07 pm

Ghislaine I could hear the gravelly voice of Kenny Rogers as I sang the song :)
Clever!!Very Happy 

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Wed Sep 25, 2013 3:58 pm

BeeJay - THE Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry?  What are the odds?  Each card just got better and better as more information trickled out to your readers.  What a happy mother, proudly displaying those masterpieces of fiction on her table-top back East.  Unique take on the prompt.  Lots of fun!lol2 lol2 

Ghislaine - Awww... I always did like that song.  I think I like your version better!  Your lyrics really spoke a lot of truth about the lives of Heyes and Curry.  Nice job of working the lyrics to fit the boys.cigar 


Calico - Overflow - Hey!  It's those cute little fellas again!  Han and Jed learned everything they know about card-sharping at the hand of a true master...or mistress.blackjack  

Christina - Overflow story - I definitely remember the first part of this story, but the second part feels new.  Very enjoyable.  I liked the lines about "day something or other" and the quick thoughts that follow for Curry.  And the last line is...well, hopefully that won't REALLY be your last line and you'll be adding more soon!  Very soon!  Clapping!applause 

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Wed Sep 25, 2013 6:52 pm

Maz:  What a clever use of the prompt!  Really liked how the boys tried but failed to stand up to Jeff.  The switching of the name cards was fun--poor Jed thought he'd finally gotten one over on Heyes, only to be upstaged by someone completely different.  So…that's where the mayor's daughter story came from, huh?!!!

BeeJay: Great use of the prompt.  Loved how the letter-writer (I was kinda confused by all the different names he used--talk about aliases, huh?!--because for a while, I kept thinking he would turn out to be Teddy Roosevelt, who'd gone West for his health) spun his tales all different ways, depending on whom he was writing.  The sheriff incidents were lots of fun!

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PostSubject: Maz-cards   Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:03 pm

maz


clever play on words here. Could easily see the. Smug smiles and grimaces that these dealt cards brought about. Enjoyed your special surprise guest and that neither one of them got to enjoy time with her. Was truly such an ASJ ending . Good work and thanks for the read

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PostSubject: Cards on the table BeeJay   Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:28 pm

BeeJay
How could I not enjoy such a great opening line when I only recently added it to my own personal dictionary." I hired two most able men as guides, and factotum"
Love this I never thought of the guys as "They are a 'two-for-one' package, "but I do believe I shall giggle over this image for some time.
So enjoy our gents many voices as he speaks to various family and friends back home. It is a fun, energetic pace you have set and I like it along with this perfect Heyes line,"which Smith assured me was done for 'show' to keep Riff-Raff from bothering them." I am finding Rufus' adventures as entertaining as reading a true journal but the added insight of being able to envision the boys makes it twice as charmimg -- like this-- I truly snorted " I would like to meet some Indians as well. Jones thinks the idea is 'weird" because I could out and out see Kid. Well written. Is it me or is there many weekly challenge words in the tale? What would be the odds ,heh? I did really enjoy this little farce,thank you 

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:33 pm

gislaine Emory's
Well done on the rewrite. Such a. Known song it was easy to hear your words aloud. So did Heyes pass in his sleep too at the end like the gambler in the original or do you see a different view for your dark haired gambler? Thank you for sharing

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014   Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:08 pm

Calico - Only for "cats" in lurve with Alex?  What about... what about those of us NOT cats in lurve with Alex?  Is there really such a game?  A wonderful story like only Calico can write.  I miss the Heyes/Curry family series with Alex, Samuel, David, and what's her name, Louisa.  And the Curry clan, too.  Jed's "calling the kettle black" was great.  Too bad no adventure in sleeping in the barn that night.  Love how you pointed out an injustice back in those days with men and women and what they "own".  Excellent story.

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