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  Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013

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skykomish

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PostSubject: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:46 pm

BeeJay – Louisa May Alcott, Lewis Carroll, and Roy Huggins!!   Shocked   Inspired lunacy is the first description which springs to my mind.  This little “dream” was hilarious, very inventive, and great fun to read.  I do have a question.  If Harry is the Mad Hatter, and Kid Curry is the March Hare, and the Cheshire cat started out as Amy's pig, and if Heyes with his pocket watch is the White Rabbit, where is Alice?  Certainly not Jo. They are such different characters.  Hmmm... Did you have someone in mind for Alice?  At one point I thought that Heyes might be Alice, but then I remembered him looking at his pocket watch and mentioning that someone was late.  prairiedog  This hole-- I mean whole-- fever dream of a story was really fun.  

InsideOutlaw -  Oh my, you painted such a sad and forlorn picture.  The desolation and loneliness of the surviving partner stained the whole story, stealing the joy from their early years.  This vignette is evocative and well constructed, but I just hate stories that end with one or both of them alone, remorseful, and hopeless.  I realize that this is a very real possibility because of the lives they lived, but I just don't want it to end this way.  During the series the characters have such a strong core of optimism and hope.  Even their cynicism and realism is tempered with good humor and a zest for life.  I love those qualities.  They attract me to both of these scoundrels.  I don't want to see the realities of a hard existence sap the joy and hope from their lives.  It makes me sad.   Sad
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:00 pm

Keays: You painted a nice picture of the cozy cave they'd taken refuge in. I love the line about the sizzle of the remaining moisture in the wood. I could really feel the ambience while you wove the rest of the story. Very sweet.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:43 pm

Calico - You naughty kitty! Loved this story and I'd gladly be the soap retrieval person! That last part is great!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:01 pm

Keays - What a nice, calming story. I really enjoyed reading it. Too bad Kid didn't get to have his birthday dinner, but Heyes made up for it with the gift.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Mar 25, 2013 7:23 pm

Hanna Heyes - Oh, a story told by Heyes! What?! Shocked Heyes, the con man, got conned and robbed? Yep, sometimes the simpler the plan, the better. Shame on the sheriff letting his sister do that for a living! Favorite lines - "So you did it out of the goodness of your heart?" I can practically see the sarcasm drip from Kid's lips." No. I did it to heal my injured pride!"

Calico - Laughing Trying to escape the Ladies Appreciation gang - are they crazy? They'll never get away from us, especially on Leap Day! All the men in town are staring at them and have beards... OH, I'm the bath tester! LOL... is that a subtle mention of a certain hubby? He's in an ASJ story - can't wait to tell him! Favorite line - “Come 29th February, all of ‘em wantin’ to make proposals at once...! It’s – It’s…” Apparently what it is is beyond words. Kid flushes. “And some of them proposals were downright indecent!”

Keays - awww... It's a rainy cold night on Kid's birthday and they didn't make it to a town. Sad At least they're warm, dry, and safe. I love rainy nights when I'm snug by a fire. Poor Kid has always had bad weather on his birthday. A birthday gift - the silver & turquoise conchos! Perfect gift for that new hat of his. Favorite line - Being able to listen to rain beating down outside could be comforting when one is safe and dry inside especially when memories of weathering out a rain storm in the open were not far off in the recent past.

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skykomish

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:49 pm

Silver Kelpie - This little tale was fun. I wondered if one of the wee folk was going to show up or if some other surprise would spring out and do something to Heyes and Curry. But no, they were digging a septic tank. I didn't see that one coming. Great banter and an original plot.

Hanna Heyes - I certainly was surprised by the lady's agenda. She took the money, but missed the treasure;she had Heyes and let him go. I did wonder how Heyes was able to buy a whiskey when he came back downstairs. After all, the lady took all of his money. Cute story.

Calico - Poor boys. I think I might recognize a few of those women, and Curry and Heyes are in for trouble. When you first introduced all of the short men with big beards, I was wondering when Snow White was going to show up. But the ex-outlaw appreciators were far more entertaining. This story was hilarious.

Keays - Nicely atmospheric. I enjoyed the descriptions of the storm and the cozy cave. Reading your story I wanted a nice steak dinner. I've always wondered if you started a fire in a cave, would it stay smoky inside or would the smoke be drawn outside? Does anybody know? If any one has lit a fire in a cave, I really am interested.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Tue Mar 26, 2013 6:25 am

Sky:

I have and will again in the next couple of weeks. Last year, we found an old abandoned, cow camp out in the middle of the Grand Gulch primitive area in southwestern Utah. It was late April, so it was already getting hot on the desert and, while we were towing our trailer, we obviously weren't plugging in anywhere (we don't use a generator -kind of ruins the ambience) so we were looking for shade. We made a beeline for this big slickrock mound popping up out of nowhere.

Lo and behold the other side of it, was a huge cave facing out to hundreds of miles of sage-covered mesa. The mouth of the cave opened up to about 12 feet in height and someone had build a four foot high windbreak across the front of it and created a big stone fireplace. The area by the windbreak was swept clean for sleeping bags. The stone wall was done in the Anazasi style with stones carefully stacked and fitted without mortar. We did some research later, and found that this site near a creek had been used as a cow camp since early last century.

We lit a fire in the stone fire place every night and the four of us (another couple was with us) had our cocktail hour every evening watching the sun set and the night come on. This year, I'm begging to sleep out there. So, to make a short story long, hot air rises and unless the cave's opening is low to the ground, the smoke raises and slips its way out very nicely.

If anyone should be planning a trip to Grand Gulch and would like to see this spot, PM me and I'll send you directions. It's truly one of the most beautiful spots I've found and very close to a bunch of great hikes into the Gulch.



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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Tue Mar 26, 2013 9:43 am

Also, to add to IO's explanation, most all caves breathe. Since it stays one temperature in a cave, if the temps outside are warmer, the cave blows air out. If the temps outside are colder, the air blows in.

In Mammoth Cave, the walls and ceiling are black in places from fires where tuberculosis patients were kept in an experiment to cure the disease back in the 1800s. The smoke was taken away from the campsite from air movement in the cave.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Tue Mar 26, 2013 6:56 pm

Getting caught up before the end of the month is upon us.
Wichita Red: clever dialogue. I think my favorites lines were at the end. "Fine, I won’t go out there. And, I won’t shoot him. But as the leader of this here Gang, I am banning whiskey, pop skull, moonshine, stump juice anything and everything that will cause inebriation to be brought up to the Hole.

Ah Tarnation. I ain’t letting you turn this into a dry county because of one gang member.


Maz: More of your witty dialogue that says so much in a few lines. You give us a clear picture of two curious, unaffected boys. It's nice to see them as normal kids for a change.

Beejay: In general, if I see a "dream" story, I don't think dream, I think, nightmare. But you proved the exception to the rule. This was charming and fun. And you are the first person to bring in the Little Women angle!

Inside Outlaw: Realistic and bittersweet. Those of us who are dealing with aging and ailing parents, especially, can relate to the losses that the elderly feel.

Silverkelpie: "So tight he's got varicose veins in his knuckles." I'm going to quote you, and yes, I will give proper attribution! Too many more good lines to quote here. For once, our boys didn't get the short end of the bagpipes.

Hanna Heyes: Heyes just can't take defeat laying down, can he - even if he's laying down with a saloon girl on top of him. And only Heyes can find a way to justify his revenge.

Calico: Bless your fur-bearing heart, you pop up with some inspired silliness just when my spirits are at their lowest. On a day when I thought I'd forgotten to smile, you made me laugh.

Keays: Even though our boys were on the run from yet another posse, spending the night in a cave, you found sweetness and the meaning of friendship. When you've got someone who stands by you, no matter what, you've got it all.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Wed Mar 27, 2013 7:44 pm

Keays, that is a lovely and soothing story. Who doesn't love sitting by a fire snug and warm with the rain outside. Even the horse were content. I enjoyed the anticipation of the gift-giver, and Kid's genuine surprise with the present.

I had a very hectic day, but could feel the tension drift away while reading this story.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Fri Mar 29, 2013 10:10 am

Calico: Very cute! I guessed about halfway through who the staff were and then it was fun to see how they tried to hide it. They were quite clever to devise such a trap! Really, the boys should just give up and let themselves enjoy their ministrations! I'm still trying to figure out the meaning of the town's name--it does mean something, doesn't it???

Keays: Aww. I think wistful best describes this story. There's some nice description about their surroundings, and melancholy thoughts, both voiced and unvoiced. Sweet reminiscences about childhood birthdays and then a lovely surprise for the Kid. This line sums up the story perfectly: "Could always be worse! I just hoped it'd be better."

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:22 pm

riders57 - This story is very exciting to read, riders. I will definitely need to check out the full versions on Wet Paint! Loved these lines: “You know I have your back... The question is, Heyes…” The Kid fired again. “Do you have mine?”

WichitaRed - Glad you found the challenge section. This was fun! I especially liked the closing lines. Very cute.

Maz - This is very interesting and very well written, with excellent banter for all characters. Two thumbs up! Call me Ishmael??? study That must one heck of a garden Jed's clearing.

BeeJay - The story had me giggling like a trip home from the dentist's office after a filling. I think March is a great time for HH and KC to have a tea party with a bunch of Little March Women. There were a few places I got confused, so I'm plannin' to Go Ask Alice. ;)

InsideOutlaw - This is beautiful, so wonderfully bittersweet. The fact that the speaker is never revealed makes the story even more compelling. Very well done!

Silverkelpie - AH! What a hoot! Loved it, but don't want to give too much away in case someone hasn't read it yet. This line is worth a whole pot full of gold! - “We’re doin’ this because we were smart enough to give up stealin’, but not bright enough to save any of the money.”

hannaheyes - I guess this saloon gal picked a couple of pretty right, wrong fellas to take upstairs, eh? The part where she pulled a knife on Heyes was especially exciting. Good story.

Calico - This story is a genuine GEM! It had me absolutely howling from start to finish. So very difficult to pick a favorite line but for some reason this one stands out:

“You ARE all women – and you’re women with as much talent for disguise as a pack of coyotes …”

“I’m over here, Kid!”

“…Rolling in cotton wool then trying to mingle in a flock of sheep.”


Exuberantly voracious clapping!!!


Keays - Even though the Kid is complaining a little bit about another rainy March 6th, the drumming of the rain outside lends itself nicely to the warm, snug feel of this story. Very nice challenge. I especially liked this line: “Could always be worse! I just hoped it'd be better. Especially by now.” sunny

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Fri Mar 29, 2013 2:08 pm

Apologies ladies for not taking these in order but if I don't comment on the cat woman's story she turns on me.
Calico!! Loved it. I assume I am one of the Appreciation ladies. I have just hidden my false beard in the cupboard in case I need it again.
Loved it as you knew I would.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Sat Mar 30, 2013 2:05 pm

Keays - As others have said, this was full of lovely descriptive language and the scene was so easy to visualize. I loved the line; "Could always be worse! I just hoped it'd be better." It really captured that wistful scene, where the prize always seems just out of reach, and life is in limbo in the meantime. A very lovely story.
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PostSubject: calico's ruse   Sun Mar 31, 2013 7:20 am

Having just finished all of your writing on WetPaint (by the way I will leave comments on them later) I understood this one fully and enjoyed it.

Heyes does not pause for the interruption. With an expression redolent of brave resignation he presses on, “It’s simply a cross I have to bear.” Ah and such a terrible, terrible cross he bears too. I always found it funny that the attention was all aimed at Kid on the show when walking beside him was bottle SIIIIIGGGGHHHH --- HEYES!

I can appreciate the ladies appreciation society and where they come from. Thanks for another romp through their high jinx.

But, I think you jinked us out of a bath tub scene...was that our April Fool's Day?

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Sun Mar 31, 2013 8:43 am

Penski:

Did a Tahoe spring by any chance prompt this story? You wrote this very descriptively, I could almost feel the chill and the subsequent snugness of the trees. Like the old saying in the mountains-you have two seasons, winter and the fourth of July.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Sun Mar 31, 2013 4:38 pm

Penski: Good use of the prompt. I suspect people often found themselves taken unawares when travelling at the beginning or end of winter, back in the nineteenth century. (Donner Gang, anyone?) Sometimes they lucked out, as with the boys here, and sometimes they didn't. I wonder what age you were thinking of for Heyes and Curry--I kind of think not so old because of the Kid's remark about not helping with his partner's pants. (That was probably my favorite line. Hey--I'd be happy to help instead!) Lucky for Heyes the Kid knew exactly what to do. But they never learn, do they--only a few weeks later they find themselves in the same situation...again!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Sun Mar 31, 2013 7:21 pm

A couple of great stories today.

Penski -- yes the March weather is very unpredictable and dangerous out there. I like the reference to the fact that Heyes' coat isn't warm enough. Interesting to watch them with the snow cave. Really enjoyed this.

Remuda -- loved the way you brought the march king into this story. And a very different take on the shooting challenge also. I like the use of the shotguns, instead of six-guns or rifles. And great alias. Clapping hard. Glad you made it, and with a couple of hours to spare, too.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:41 am

Penski - Great descriptive language in this one. I could actually feel the ice and the snow - or was that our terrible Easter weather? (Nope, just looked out the window and ours is all gone now.) You'd think they wouldn't get caught with it twice, but the weather frequently has a way of sneaking up on you.

Remuda - Great take on the prompt. I do love stories with an historical twist. As soon as you mentioned that the other fella was a musician I guessed he'd be a real man. Poor Kid having to come second, but it set them up enough to carry on. What a sacrifice!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:36 am

Penski - Ah! I LOVE the end! And seeing as how I'm FREEZING here on April first, I agree - Bad folklore indeed! Great story, Penski. Well-told tale.

Remuda - Very enjoyable story with great dialog. I liked the idea of the Kid having a difficult time losing deliberately, and Heyes' closing like was priceless!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:56 am

Remuda:

Interesting to learn that Sousa was an avid trap shooter and it was very clever how you wove him into this story. I chuckled at the Kid's reaction to having to throw the contest to 'a musician' and Heyes's less than supportive remark about how he might not have won anyway. Good story.
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PostSubject: Comments   Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:28 am

Actually Calico here - but catflap to board locked on me!! sorrykitty


9) Keays
Kid having another burfday! Huzzah! Or even, hurrah.
Ah, gently smoked ex-outlaws – what could be more delicious when there’s a nip in the air.
Poor old Kid – did rain always stop play?? Aw. And poor ol’ Heyes too – feeling older. (Mind you, join the dang club HH!)
Very touching, Keays.

10) Penski
This biting, driving wind – are they in my dang garden?
Now of course HH might be suspicious of any story including the words – you must get out of those wet clothes! Oh bless. Loving the false spring in the middle – then all those poor struggling flowers go back under the snow! So simple, but so well done Penski. (Did think we might be getting a liddle newborn lamb – but you resisted)

11) Remuda
I love when you have them just bantering and down on their finances again.
Uh huh - splitting up. Anything could happen. Or not.
Oh Kid, you know the rules on shooting contests! Thaddeus Hotchkiss. Bless. Quite right – never make up a brand new alias. And loving that he hasn’t quite checked all the rules.
Loving Kid’s competitive spirit kicking in too. That was Sousa??? Nice take on the prompt. You’re a clever gal Remuda.
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PostSubject: Poll   Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:37 am

1) A captured Heyes faces a long march to the town jail. Unless Kid, Kyle and Wheat can ride to the rescue?
2) Whose turn is it to get outta bed and shut up the marching song keeping our boys awake?
3) Are young Jed and Han gonna win over a crotchety ol’ blind man, Grandpa March?
4) The March family foursome join a Curried March Hare and a Dormouse Heyesey with sleep for tea and treacle in Wonderland.
5) Time has marched on for one of boys – who sits with the faded photograph, remembering.
6) Seventeenth of March – St. Patrick’s Day. Let’s say T’anks for the kilts and keening!
7) March isn’t a good month for Heyes as he’s held up by a saloon gal. But – revenge is sweet.
8) Have those pesky ladies of the appreciation society stolen a march on our boys?
9) Another wet March birthday for the Kid. No news on the amnesty – but at least his friend remembered!
10) Grandpa Curry was half right – March comes in like a lion, turns briefly ovine, then goes out – like another dang lion!!
11) Could Kid Curry have taken a trap shooting prize from the King of Marches? We’ll never know!


Can the first gal to read this who is comfy posting a poll - post March's poll (above) in right place??

Ta. The locked out cat sorrykitty
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PostSubject: April   Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:47 am


Hello folks,
Again with the request!!! sorrykitty

Could someone with access please post the April Challenge in the right spot??

But, you cry, what is the April Challenge, oh Feline of Fine Feelings? Oh Cat of Creativity! Oh possessor of the paws of power and the whiskers of wit!

I DID hear you cry that - didn't I?

Yup thought so.

For those of you itching to write, your challenge is...

These Foolish Things...


Let the typing commence!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments - Open 25th March 2013, Closed 16th Sept 2013   Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:08 am

I'm back!!!!
Beejay removed nails from board securing catflap!

Big furry hugs to Penski and Remuda for helping out.
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