Awestruck Comments - from 2nd May 2022

3) Kat

And here it is... The crowning glory meant as a grand finale!

The higher you climb the farther you fall - or as the genius would rather express it, "A chain of unfortunate events" prevented his 'double HH plan' to be successful. But he can plan as long as he likes, sometimes things turn out to go differently than you expect.

A new author's name for me in this forum, and I don't know if you are a newbie in the writing business. As far as I would say, you have gathered some experience before.
I am impressed with your writing style, it distinguishes itself from others. Very nice the way you are creating a fine subtle ironical atmosphere, which makes the reading an enjoyable event, accompanied by more than one snicker from me....
You have a pleasant way to put words together and to express yourself, for example,
"something untoward has happened, which caused both sets of outlaws to see the wisdom of setting aside their differences" - perhaps it needs a non-native speaker to notice such differences. Something special and a good sign for a writing talent.

I very much like your dialogues and interaction between Heyes and Curry.
Beautiful how close you are writing to the series by using parts of well-known basics.
You thought them through and partly developed them further.
Beautiful, for example, is the passage with your turnaround of the attack of the mountain lion. In their outlaw days it is Heyes's shot which rescued Curry, in their ex-outlaw days it is Curry's shot which rescued Heyes....

Finally, you find a perfect ending. With it, your whole story is a 'round thing'.
By the way, I love your description of Heyes "who had sadly grown used to being a man of vision in a world of the short-sighted".... That's why I am a fan of fanfic...
I hope there are more stories to follow.

4) nm131

You don't necessarily have to write a classical story including intro, main part and end to make a fanfic interesting.
It's the idea and the way you put the single parts together which are connected with the prompt.
So, another funny, imaginative contribution!

You have no idea idea how confusing this month's prompt is....
'Crowning Glory' to describe a superb head of hair...Resembles Kattyl's story.

I almost feel sorry for Heyes, I guess blond, curly hair was not so common. To play second fiddle is certainly not something the dark haired one likes, no matter at which age!
More than once he is in the shadow of the "earthly cherub" or "cherub angel with the golden halo."  Better to stay to the facts, "Jed’s no angel, he don’t have wings and girls are yucky.” Great in character, Heyes is never at a loss for an explanation, even at that age!

Funny to see in juvenile years Heyes' more or less rough beautifulness still can't compete with Curry's blond curls.
Sweet Heyes's attempt to keep women's admiration under control by making sure the crowning glory visits a hairdresser in time the moment they can afford the costs...

Good emphasize on the fact that the person with the crowning glory is often on the bright side of life. Getting spoiled, not too much hard work, no parasites... Though I must admit, I don't miss the shaved off sideburns!

Wonderful idea to lead us through various timelines to point out the impacts of golden curls.

1) Kattayl

Hello there Kattayl

Oh dear, poor young Heyes locked up in the dark – channelling Jane Eyre vibes here.
Ahah! But he can open the door!

OH Heyes – you should have gone. You should, really.

Hurrah, the Dean caved!!
And the school has gurrrrrrrlllls

Heyes you charmer – that was lovely. Awwww. Nice.


2) Penski


Hello there Penski

Channelling the pilot here… we do love seeing the whole gang in action.
Nice to see the Kid get top billing for a change.
Ooh, but Heyes gets joint top billing once his skills are known.
Do I smell a journalist –?

Naughty Wheat, stirring the pot like that…

And Kyle the peacemaker. Clapping hard at that.


.
3) Kat
Hello there Kat
Is this a new entry to the challenge gang … if yes, welcome!!

NOT an unmitigated disaster … I much prefer those milder mitigated types!

Two robberies in one night, huh?
NO – more than two. Two for the Devil’s Hole boys and at least one from the rival gang.

I do like the picture of two gangs a-scuffling – this is OUR job…

Poor old Kid. Hurt again.

Oh, poor puddy tat … AND, we know the Kid does get to return the favour one day.

Not the last time their loot ends up going over a cliff either…

And of course, lightening HAS struck twice.
This is extremely amusing Kat

Clapping VERY hard


4) nm131

Greetings, NM


Darling little Jed, how many Kidettes would like to ruffle those curls.

AND, Here are four of them, experimenting with the youthful locks.

AND another …running her fingers through

Oh dear, Heyes has little visitors – mind you, I am rather glad he lost the sideburns

VERY clever …

Kattayl- what a sad tale but nicely told. Enjoyed this.
Penski- I liked this story! Kid and Heyes are sweethearts. Lovely challenge.

Aww Nell this was kinda sad. But Heyes was honest about his intentions from the start. Love that the Kid knows his partner so well. Lovely challenge.

1) Kattayl

Hello there Kattayl.

It’s Clementine! Ahah – a little back story filled in. And more, Han is learning guitar.

Oh, this is sad. Poor Jane. But I guess the boys are getting a taste of homeliness.

Han, you should stay in school even without Jed. I bet you know that now, huh?

Awwwww – that is so sad altogether. Clapping hard

2) Rachel_74_1

Hello there Rachel,

Ooooh, the boys are met up after their long break and squabbling already

She is right you know, Kid, life is short – don’t leave making up too long.

Awww, another touching story. Back you go Kid. Stay together.


3) Penski

Hello the wonder that is Penski (thanks for trimming)

Oooh, Rose seems like a friendly bad girl – lucky Heyes.

Didn’t see that coming – lucky Kid too.

Spotted again. Poor boys – a rest never lasts long does it?

She does her housework nude? Isn’t that – rather more dusty than practical? (Mind you, I suppose if you have no ‘scruffies’ to put on while cleaning…)

And a wonderful traditional line as they ride off. And, AWWWW the boys are leaving a present. Aww. That was heartwarming, Penski.




4) nm131


Hello there NM – you will be please to hear my morning tea has arrived.

Not a rose but a violet – clever.
Ah Kid, are you right? Is Heyes just genuinely not the marrying kind?

Well, Heyes, you are making a fair and honest fist of breaking up – but you have left it too long you know. Well done to Violet though – dignified.

Nell McKeon - I love your Terms universe and I agree with Heyes that he may not be the marrying type. Violet was an interesting love interest for him, but he was clear from the beginning (although us gals do think we can change men). Roses and candy? Did he come to break up or was the diary a "it's time to do the dirty deed"? Yep, the Kid knows his partner, maybe better than he knows himself. Love how the Kid found love in Erin. I really liked the poem at the end about the rose having thorns - very clever! Wonderful challenge!

Rachel741 - First out of the gate and just over 24 hours from the new prompt post. This was intense and kept me at the edge of my seat. This was emotional - I can't imagine what both partners were going through. And the relief that the Kid (and I) felt realizing it was only a nightmare. So crazy that Hector and Bilson came to take Kid Curry to hell - yikes! Really loved this!

Nm131. Oh my that was intense. I could see and feel the partner's frustration and despair. So visceral.. The image of Heyes vomiting into the chamber pot was so sad and vivid. You depicted the blood lust of the assembled townsfolk so clearly. The sense of running out of time was well created. Very well done. And whilst the tone may be similar to mine, the story itself is very different. I think as you say the nature of the challenge prompt leads the brain in this direction.

Racheal 741 - What a harrowing and vivid nightmare. You did an excellent job of writing the emotional bond between the partners and the impact such an awful almost scenario would have on each of them. The guilty conscience of Heyes for not pulling off the miracle and the suppressed guilty conscience of the Kid for conjuring up Danny and Hector as instruments of death was well done.

NM131

Wow, what a story!
You are the perfect author to create a gloomy atmosphere.
About in the middle of the story I was tempted to scroll down to the end, just to ensure it is not going to happen what I thought would happen....After reading Rachel's story I had a tiny hope it could just be a bad nightmare. Kind of a deja vue feeling. The prompt caused both of you to think in the same direction. What a coincidence.
Nothing worse than a death story...
While reading my throat tightened more and more. That's always a sure sign you were able to move me.
Once, an author asked me to read one of her favorite stories, a death story. I refused, the last death story of her was still vivid in my mind...

Your writing style is very graphic for me, intense and I feel as if I were right in the middle of it.
Even with a bad end, I can't wait to read the second part.
I am happy you have decided to write again!

Penski: Oh nice- well done Kid, teach the asshole a lesson and still keep the amnesty. I liked these missing scenes.

1) Hello Rachel, our current bandanny wearer

Good heavens. Our own dear Kid in front of a firing squad. NO!

And we are drifting into the uncanny – we are seeing the men Kid has shot? Is he dreaming? Is this before we see him wake up in a sweat.
Oh Danny, even being dead has not reformed you, huh?

Poor Kid, what a nightmare that was, Rachel. Good episode though!



2) Hello there NM


Oh dear, something has gone very wrong with a bank robbery if an innocent woman was shot. Oh dear…
Come on Governor, if you KNOW they weren’t there … Do the right thing.
Your wife is right. It will haunt you.

And we have some cruel gloating going on – and a short drop on purpose. Hang on Kid (no pun intended) the Governor is trying…

I suppose we have to excuse the Sherriff if he lost his daughter in law and grandchild.

Are we getting a rescue – you are cutting it fine and wringing our nerves, here NM

Oh No! To Be continued. Consider my hooks tentered. Or my tenters hooked.



3) Hello to you Penski

Are you also going to wring my withers?


Ah Kid, she is right, you cannot watch Heyes all the time.
Oh Kid, don’t get mad and don’t try and get even – it will only lead to more trouble

Well, maybe a little fisticuffs we will allow – smile.

Nice little extra scene there, Penski

Hi there Kattayl


Oh, Lom – trying to save his nephew, but no wonder he feels guilty.
But we love Lom, so he comes clean
AWWWW – of course the boys would have helped anyway
I am full of warm fuzzies

Kid's Sister - What a fun story. Poor Heyes sure got injured falling down the stairs. At least they got the wallet and money back, thanks to Soldier. I can definitely see the Kid just stuffing clothes into the magic saddle bags instead of folding them nicely. Nice challenge!

Kid's Sister: Poor Heyes, ouch. Glad they got the stuff back. I can see Kid shoving stuff in. Nice challenge.

Kattayl. Interesting look at the boys as they begin to grow. Signs of who they become. Penski. Oh that was cute. Made me chuckle. And I loved Heyes's punishment. Fun.

1) Kid’s Sister
Hello there!  Is this a brand new writer – or just a shiny new alias.  Welcome anyhow.
They have a Collie – how lovely.  
Oh, a greenstick fracture – that is nasty.  Poor Heyes.
Ah, so Soldier can sniff out the thief.  (Mind you, our boys can’t really complain about being robbed – pots and kettles.)
Heyes is a fussy packer is he?  I can see that.  
Consider us all wagging our tails at Soldier after that story – smile


2) Penski
Hello to you Penski!
Now … a diversion.  I am currently on chicken feeding and night time lock up duty for friends … chickens are just QUICK … and they currently have six chicks who are now past the cute pom pom stage, and are miniature vultures in big feathery trousers.
Chickens can just plain outwit humans.
Oh bless, they will be everywhere.  
And a chance to practice our maths – this is a lot of fun.   Even before we met Gred and Forge.  
That is ME that is, with my little scoop, scooping up chicken poop for the (gags) poop bucket.





3) Kattayl


Hello to you Kattayl
Awww, I love childhood stories.  
Poor Han, guns are not as much fun as sword fighting.
Now – I should not really ask, but (shyly) is he reading Moby Dick because you have read Calico stories where he receives copy of Moby Dick?  
So we see Han using his silver tongue- smile.  
And Kid saves the day.  
And their fathers are pleased with them – Awwww.

Penski: it was great to see Sheriff Jones and Deputy Smith again. Rounding up 100 chickens sounds harder than riding in a posse. Loved it.

Kat - What a very well-written challenge! I wasn't sure who you were referring to until you told me at the end, which made it tragic. Just one more job... Loved this and glad you're writing again!

Kat what a good story about the man with the silver snake ring. Entertaining but sad as we know his fate as he rode toward that train.

This was a lovely well written story and such a heartbreaking end when we realised who was speaking. Nicely done.

Kat: What a great tale. Had me guessing right til the end. Enjoyed it a bunch.