Awestruck Comments - from 2nd May 2022

Hello folks,
Just starting a new comments section ... 15+ pages is about the maximum before the gremlins set in


1) Rachel

Hello there Rachel.

Oooh, just a little short with an injured Heyes…
Love the line about some folk being injured and trying to sleep

2) Nm131


And hello to you, too NM

WELL, NM – we all know what fluttering curtains signify in PG13 world. Ahem.
You do realise that if she DID paint that picture she’d have a wide audience of Kidettes ordering prints.
Aww- a little childhood memory of wings – aww – dear Heyes, he does like to practice his ideas on Kid.


3) Kattayl

And a third Hello to you, Kattayl.

Hmm, a town called Perfection. Something is bound to go wrong.

Oooh, a fight over a saloon gal …Careful, Kid. Remember the title of the story this month.

The boys have earned a couple of rewards without even trying?! That’s a good idea, Kattayl. And, of course they hand it over. (Are you sure Heyes wouldn’t at least keep some of the money – smile.)


4) Penski

Hello to you wonderful Penski

Oh, Classic opening – boys apart – something halts the arranged meet up.

Now, is Caleb being tricky – is he an outlaw hunter, or thinking about it?

Ouch, ouch, ouch …poor Kid having his arm popped back in.
5)

Hello there to you, Kid’s Sister…


Poor old Ben – still, he shouldn’t be unsticking anything on a gun with folk around.

But the Kid is alright – and, its not as if its the first time.

1) Rachel74

The prompt suggested it quite obviously ; a stray bullet was not meant to reach its goal as it did... Careful handling of weapons is always important, even if they are no longer wanted.
I like this short sequence with the implemented prompt. I guess Heyes could call himself happy his wife was pregnant already,...
Of course Kid is full of remorse. It's interesting to see how he thinks Heyes' reaction to all this could be,
“I ain't sure Heyes will see it that way and he'll be right.” Even being older the sharp tongue seems to be intact.
I like the idea of Heyes' wife being a whirlwind. Best of all, she knows exactly what thoughts are in Kid's mind.
The ending is the best. I love your humor. The object of all worry is listening and has to have the last word... Wonderful.

2) nm131

That's an introduction how I like it and for what you are known for.
It is as if I plunge into the scene with all my senses. And I have to say, I admire the scene rising in my mind.
I get the impression of a warm summer night and the idea of seeing Kid's still muscular, toned body illuminated by the soft moonlight light is.... arousing.
I like Erin. With the weapons of a woman she tries to elicit details of the past of her husband. Each scar is a sign of failure, that's how I think their way of thinking is. So, understandable he is reluctant to talk about them.
You manage to create a sensual atmosphere.
The discussion about art lays the foundation of the fact that nudeness is something aesthetic.
"No one wants to see this scarred body.”  but each scar has a tale behind it. And a loving partner is curious, that's natural.
To make a connection to the Hanford job is a beautiful idea.
Erin really is clever. Increasing Kid's sexual desire with a well balanced stimulation and alternating retreats seems to be a good choice to make him opening up.

Wonderful description of a not so open-minded Heyes in contrast, fitting into the time frame,
"The suave talker persona deserted the dark-haired man for a moment."
Very good, too, is your description of Heyes, who never likes to be at the receiving end of teasing, and changes to attack,
“Is that all? Because from the looks of you, that’s not the full tale by half, partner,” some secrets should stay secrets...

3) Kattayl

Funny, a town called "Perfection" with a saloon called "Perfect Peach"... But the world behind isn't as perfect as its name and soft color would suggest..
“But maybe the others might appreciate it if we get a bath first.. "
I like the contrasts you point out with your story. Fans of ASJ tend to follow the illusion of the series about clean, good smelling men..
Reality is different.
" Such a pretty town; I bet nothing bad dare happen here,” Heyes commented.
The opposite is true.
For the saloon girl, Curry represents a stroke of luck. With him, I think she enjoyed their intimacy, in contrast to her recent visitor...
Fitting to this idea are her two different night gowns - repellent and attractive.
"I don’t belong to no one but myself.” unfortunately, she will always be on the vulnera side of life.
Elisabeth was lucky not to be hit by the stray bullet - in contrast to the outlaw in the adjourning room.

The picture of a stark naked Kid Curry holding a gun is memorable..
According to the basics of ASJ is the ending - no cash for the boys, only because they don't dare to wait for the reward money. Luck for Elisabeth.

The perfect town, even with  perfect jail cells, in contrast to a night on hard ground- but it's only an illusion, a cell is a cell as Heyes seems to emphasize...

4) Penski

Who would laugh about, "A hunter named Hunter?" Certainly not two ex-outlaws using aliases!
But in this case the apple falls far from the tree unfortunately ...
Just a question, "Took two shots, missed both times.” I assume Kid didn't hear the second shot because he was hit?
I like that they are so trained in avoiding getting caught, Kid even has the sense to hide behind a rock. For me amazing with all the pain running through his body, but that's why he is a hero and I'm not....
And of course the champeen tracker can show off with his skills... Wonderful!
The scene in which Heyes relocates Kid's shoulder between those trees makes me shiver. But great idea!
I very much like your idea of putting Kid through the same, or still more, injury. Nevertheless how empathetic human beings are, to experience something another human being has experienced before, puts a different complexion on it, doesn't it?
Lovely to notice the difference between a worrying Heyes and a worrying Kid. It's simply Heyes' attitude to lighten the mood with his teasing in, "Sleeping Beauty awakens,”. Doesn't help if you are superstitious...

5) Kid's sister

Poor boy... I suppose Ben will never forget this incident!
To see your own parent unconscious because of you being careless is an awful experience for a child.
Good to see, even in their older years, Heyes and his wife are not living far away. A stray bullet can cause much more damage hitting another part of the body. So more or less a blessing in disguise...
Just one suggestion, try to see that your sentences aren't getting too long. The use of full stops is necessary to understand the meaning of what you want to express.
In addition, try to avoid repetitions.
But altogether, a fine idea to remind all of us how important it is to be careful while dealing with weapons. Ben learned his lesson the hard way.
Thanks for contributing a challenge story.

April stories . . .

ukrachel_74: Not even a stray bullet can keep a good man down! I can very easily see Curry feeling guilty. He tends to take on all the problems of the world, sometimes, and this problem is very close to home.

NM131: You have to distract Curry to get a story out of him, I guess! And he's getting one poerful distraction here. I really enjoyed how you wove this story into the story of artworks.

Kattayl: Nice story! I love the way you wove in the gang members who weren't pretty good bad men, and that Elizabeth was getting the reward. And, of course, few of us will soon forget the mental image of Curry without pants, and Heyes reminding him to get dressed.

Penski: Another day in the life! Mr. Hunter wasn't much of a hunter after all, since he couldn't shoot straight. Makes me wonder if it's not time for him to find a new career!

Hello oh faithful Penski.
Thank you for playing.
WhiskeyTown – well, I guess that spells it out, huh? What a pity the boys can’t stay


And a little bit of ...


Oooh- nasty, caught in a trap. Poor Louie.
Ahhhh – I do like the boys doing a good deed. Bless them.
I am sure that has refreshed your Gallic Tongue, Penski
Merci Beaucoup mon amie

Penski. Whole lot of fun. Enjoyed this.

Kattayl - I loved your The Making of a Preacher - Preacher’s Train. It showed a realistic way how Preacher turned from being a pastor to an outlaw and drunk. Loved how Heyes and Curry followed their friend, even when they didn't know where he has going. How sad that the town died from measles. aww... Preacher has a house with no ghosts but happy memories. Loved this!

Sister Grace - Welcome back - you and your stories have been missed!  Love how Heyes is contemplating all that happened with Danny the Smiler and ends up seeing how he and the Kid smiled at their victims, too, when stealing from the trains and banks.  Are they the same?  No, Danny the Smiler has to be worse.  Love the ending as Heyes decides that just warning Danny is better, he smiles, and finishes his drink.  Well-written... loved it!  

Kattayl. Loved this bittersweet tale.
Sister Grace. An excellent, if rather dark, though totally plausible foray into the mind of Heyes.

Sister Grace: I enjoyed the excellent thoughtful story from this month's challenge. Made me stop and think of all the times Curry and Heyes did smile at their victims. Never looked at them that way before. Of course, as Heyes decided Bilson was worse than them, far worse. And Seth's death was murder.

Thank you for a well written story!

Rachel741 - I enjoyed this story, not having read it elswhere. You have Heyes mix of caring and exasperation described well. It's no wonder that one of their backs would give out with all the physical challenges they face in their daily lives. They can't exactly retreat to a settled home with bedrest but you have them coping as best they can.

Penski- - Good story to go with a Good Story of Mark Twains. It's great that Heyes got to meet the author as well as relaxing out of town. I guess they would have to stay vigilant since complacency could cost them. Thanks for the historical background of the Jumping Frog Jubilee, I always love little bits of trivia.

Kattyl - What a sad and touching story. I like how you have fleshed out the character Preacher and give him dimension. a surprise in such a melancholy tale the ending lines were perfect and it's nice to see the house and memories give Preacher comfort. Maybe his way of thinking could influence Heyes and Curry sometime in the future.

Sister Grace - - How nice to hear from you again. You have been missed and I do know that rusty and hesitant feeling.
However, no rust was detected at all. That was a wonderful examination of Heyes' thought process in that saloon in Matherville. Heyes is perceptive, intelligent and clever and hates to lose. He's also a master of rationalization to soothe a psyche that at the root does know better. Well done and I hope you will continue to write in ASJ. Thanks. Hope all's been well.

Did I not post comments before I did the Poll?? Apologies - I wrote them - anyway, belatedly...

1) Hello there Rachel. We have no particular rule against adapting stories you may already have posted elsewhere. If only my mug of tea were here… Looks hopefully at the door…

Well there we are. The gun leaps into Kids hand before we even sit down…
Very nice start.

I am more than sympathetic at the bad back – and I would not be groaning quietly.

Mind you, Kid, the hard ground is probably better for you than a soft bed.

Ah, opium. I have fond memories of my drip in hospital. You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone.

Well, what a lovely – and damp – ending you gave us, Rachel.


2) And hello to you Penski. My tea has now arrived – slurp.


You know, I am sure we all wondered if the old aliases would get too well known.

Aww, Joe and Sam still do the ‘whose coin’ routine.

Indeed – what on earth is a jumping frog jubilee ? Oh, come on Kid – don’t be a party pooper. Go see the frogs jump.
Yeah! Of course he got talked into it.

How lovely, Heyes is telling the fingerprints story … to the great Samuel himself.

And some facts at the end, Penski- you spoil us!!! I really liked that.


3) And hello to you, Kattayl

Oh, poor Preacher, worrying over the hardness of life even as he sleeps.

We forget don’t we, what a dreadful disease measles used to be.

Sniffle, Kattayl – this is sad. And what a touching ending. And, no I had no idea that Jubilee was a Hebrew name. Sniff.

kattayl- that was excellent. Enjoyed it a lot.

Kattayl – You packed a lot of story into a short, but very enjoyable challenge. I giggled at the thought of Curry checking the occupants of each room for Kyle.  Also loved the names you chose for the saloons, Blue Coyote and Leaky Bucket.  Smiling Sonny Ford sounds like a real outlaw name.  Nicely done!

Penski: Enjoyed this story :)

1) Sister Grace

Hello there Sister Grace – long time, no challenge!  Lovely to see you.  

Oh dear, Heyes feeling a few guilt pangs.  It is true, they are certainly smilers with guns.

Well, well – we never really know if Heyes is genuinely warning Danny Bilson, or warning him because he suspects that will ‘dare’ Danny into a fight.   And, here, perhaps mixed motive Heyes doesn’t even know himself.
Thank you for a little mental missing scene, Sister Grace    



2) Kattayl

Hello there bandanny strewn Kattayl.  Have the boys been good all month?

Oh dear, is poor Kyle being fooled by Card Sharps?  Smiling Sonny Ford – tremble.    Dear, dear, Kyle – preparing to spend all his winnings on a pigeon.  
How pleased we are the boys went and rescued him.  

3) Penski


Hello there oh challenge stalwart, Penski.

It is true, when we saw Ralph Peterson he was indeed a very jolly fellow.   Oh, don’t we just love a scene of Heyes breaking a safe by the light o fan oil lamp.  Bless.  

This can’t be right though – the boys are actually getting paid?!  

1) Sister Grace


Nice to meet a new writer joining in the challenges.
It doesn't matter how long your contribution is, it is the idea behind it.

You created an in between inner thought scene of one of Heyes' decisions, which evoked more than one discussion in the ASJ fandom.
- A smiling villain stays a villain nevertheless. Are there "good villains" and "bad villains", where do you draw the line? -

I get quite a clear picture of Heyes sitting there at a table. Slightly inebriated, pondering about that matter of morality.
He is well aware of his own inability to fulfill a direct revenge executed by himself.
I like your expression that Heyes regards himself as "the deliverer of justice", working himself up in his anger.
I very much like how close you stay to the prompt "smiling".
Heyes' reminiscence of his and Kid's performances during their robberies, also underlined with a smile, is a beautiful comparison.
Heyes, after all, is aware they are villains, too.
Strong sentence, "smiling our way onto two wanted posters".

I very much like your explanation or more description between the difference of what Heyes actually did in the episode : 'goading' or subtle 'warning' ; that's the real character Heyes, playing with words, twisting facts to soothe his own conscience, "I won't bait him, I will just warn him..."
This way, "the pawn is in Danny's hands".
Anyway, congratulation to have the courage to show one of Heyes ' darker sides.

2) Kattyl

I really do like your imagination.
A fine story about a hard lesson Kyle learned that not every smile you receive is a smile on a good way.
But in his simpleness he can be sure, the smiles of his "family - outlaws" are true ones....

I like your description of the interactions between the members of the DHH, in their respective ranking order:
- Heyes, the amused leader, evaluating Kid's actions, coordinating the search of Kyle and the silver - tongue coaxing the barkeep to share information
-Kid, feeling responsible for the men staying in line, reacting as the in between man and the man in action
- Wheat, good captured with his way of speaking and his usual recalcitrance to obey Heyes' orders

One question: is "Remember that mark we hit with Soapy?" referring to another story?

Good capture of the prompt:
A smile doesn't always mean someone is your friend.
The subtleties of facial expressions are hard to read...

3) Penski

When thinking about persons laughing in the series, Ralph Peterson's laughter is distinctive and outstanding. He really smiles and laughs conspicuously often.
Partly annoyingly, partly contagiously.
Good choice to use him in your story!
I am so fond of your imaginativeness. It makes sense to fit the prompt to make him crooked.

It is obvious from the series, Peterson is interested in good wages or games, even to the disadvantage of his friend McCreedy.
He is used to handle bigger sums of money. The line to overstep illegality is easy and fluent if you are in charge in the business.
I like that you emphasize several times Peterson's laughter. Beautiful to see he loses it at the end when he is found guilty.

At a closer look, he is not the only villain smiling in your story.
Heyes, Curry as well as McCreedy are positioned in a kind of twilight zone.
Heyes' smile is comprehensible, moving around in familiar terrain of a gambling hall. His smile mirrors he is still enjoying parts of his outlaw life. He, too,
"can smile and smile and stay an ex-villain..."

I like your description of McCreedy, a "half - villain" -
"not illegal... Just look around for something that is illegal."
Great, pragmatic response by Kid,
"Entering a bank when it's closed is illegal."
Very interesting: the only time McCreedy smiled in your story, is at the end, the moment he has reached his goal.
Close to the series, thank you.

Rachel741 - I loved this one.  I can see Heyes being distracted by something and Curry having to get him back to the business on hand.  And then playing while the Kid is trying to sleep... LOL!  I think I would've threatened to shoot him, too.  Very cute!

Kattayl - Aah, we meet Smiling Sonny Ford.  Our favorite little, naïve, trusting outlaw is about to get taken. The DHG, in  character comes to the rescue just in time. Nice outlaw tale with a small tie in to a current story. Thanks.

Penski - A brilliant idea to use Peterson to fit the prompt, although, i admit I kind of like him and his annoying laugh in canon. I'm impressed they even managed to get paid fromBig Mac for doing something they are good at and like, TWICE!. Thanks for a fun story.

Good job nm131!  You recognized the link with Smiling Sonny Ford.

rachel_74_1: If you have to be robbed, be robbed by the best? Very cute. I also liked how you captured both Wheat and Kyle with just a word or sentence. I also felt very sorry for the Kid, just trying to get some sleep.