Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ... April 22

Yes, Calico, this is my first challenge for this site. Thank you for the warm welcome. And thank everyone for the positive comments about my first entry.

And, yes, Josiah, grows up to be our Preacher.

This challenge story fits into the universe of the series I am writing called The Tale of Two Kid Currys but is not a part of the series itself. Your prompt "train" started the ideas for Preachers background jumping around in my mind.

Glad you enjoyed the story.

Penski - - Thanks for the outlaw tale illustrating that the common folks had nothing to be afraid of during a DHG robbery. Heyes and Curry's rules for robbery were probably a major contributor for them to be offered an amnesty. Nice solution for the disposition of a non rule abiding outlaw. Thanks for the enjoyable read.

Great story Penski. Like the fact the guys have very strong rules even when robbing. And a moral compass.

kattyl- lovely story :)

Penski

What can you be scared of...?
Being ambushed by real mean outlaws is a very likely possibility. In your story the young woman must have bee scared to death...The serious background gives us a hint of how much violence is lurking not only in that time line.
The Wolf in sheep's clothing is often someone who acts submissive with leaders, such as Floyd is behaving with Heyes and Kid, but on the other side takes advantage ruthlessly of weaker ones given the opportunity.
Excellent idea to point out the differences of the DHG in contrast to "common" outlaws.
Good written are Floyd's repeated answers to remind us as a summarize of their rules or principles.

I like the division of work between Heyes and Kid with Curry acting as a go - between and Heyes leading the conversation. Curry as a backup making sure everyone understands Heyes statements and internalizes them.
Wonderful how Kid keeps track of the robbery. One thing Wheat isn't able to...
Curry's leading abilities are visible when he asks Lobo what to do with his cousin. Kind of testing his loyalty.

I like that you emphasize with your story it was never easy for them to hold up to their reputation. So Heyes' frank apology is a fine possibility to inform the public what they stand for.
Your story proves that the DHG is something special. It reveals the discrepancy between them and other hardened outlaw groups.
The DHG really isn't one to be scared of... Only for the banks and railroads.

Rachel74

It's only natural even for the most hardened outlaws to be scared of some situations they have to cope with. Situations others, later, would declare as "wow, how brave!"
Thank goodness, no one can look inside the "heroes"...
To overcome your own fear is a bigger achievement than many others. Heyes and Curry are no exceptions.
Even if the scene is inspired by Butch Cassidy and Sundance Kid, you convert it beautifully to ASJ.
Very good your introductory first verbal speech from Heyes. Fine capture of the poker player, who tries not to let on his own hand is a weak one but is trying to convince it is a winner hand.
Alas, unsuccessfully because his long-time partner knows him too well.
You story thrives on their typical dialogues and behavior.
Good flow of argumentation and bickering between the two of them.
A short, amusing scene.


Kattyl

To be scared of ghosts is one of the eldest basic fear of mankind.
Heyes and Curry have lots of bad memories from their past, so it's only natural to have misgivings to meet one or the other again.
But obviously they can shake them of ; they manage to fall asleep on the cementary.
There are a lot of things on earth we don't understand. Ghosts are the connection between death and life. In Curry's particular case, his grand dad's ghost helps him to stay on the correct side of the law, so why not helping a ghost to find peace?
Ghosts don't always have to haunt you. I guess that is what you want to express with your story.
Anyway, a fitting story for Halloween.

Oh dear god, Nell, that hurt. Beautifully written as ever, but it pretty much brought me to tears. Wonderful story but so very tragic.

Penski – Very interesting, moral, story. I like the way they have definite rules even though they are on the wrong side of the law.

Kattayl – An interesting challenge in time for Halloween.  Ironic Kid should be leaning against a gravestone called Curry. A distant relative perhaps?

Rachel741 – Very enjoyable take on the cliff jump scene from Butch Cassidy.  Love the way Curry shoves him off on the count of one.  Very amusing tale.

Nm131 – What a tragic story.  I don’t mind character death stories, in fact I’m working on one myself right now. I love the emotions involved in such stories and this was beautifully written. Loved it.

Nm121

I'm usually not too fond of major death stories but I appreciate your thoughts what would happen if one of them loses the other.
The body can go on living but the soul is lost.
Very good description of Heyes' state of mind, together with his bodily constitution. One of your strengths, these descriptions. I love that you always pay attention to more than the mere plot. That is what makes your stories vivid, intense and moving.
Excellent introduction. Believable, though it isn't nice to see Heyes' darker side, that's him.
You take advantage of his pride and ability to influence Kid against his own conscience.
He makes use of all his talent to persuade Kid "one more day" to work in the mine, not listening to his misgivings.

Greed is one of Heyes' streak. To find comfort after escaping another too close posse. Self - affirmation is one of his innate needs...whatever it takes. High risks are lady lucks dearest child of faith.
I very much like the way you point out his remorse for not only challenging Kid with words but using his body language, too.
You implement the prompt in two ways:
Kid IS scared to go down into the mine. But unfortunately he can't stand to be called a coward.
Your words are so true
"But, know this. If I don’t make it back up, you’re going to miss me."
Heyes IS scared of himself, but 'there's nothing to be scared of his own death...' that's really good. 
To see the hero of the hour fall from grace to get his way hurts.
Tragic ending.

The structure is also well done.
Only in the middle of the story you present us the reason why they worked for the mine company.
The part in the telegraph office implies something bad has happened, so the reader is forced to go on reading to learn more.
But, after all, you're a master of creating tension.
Your writing style prompts your readers to follow your plot actively.

1) PENSKI

Hello there oh mistress of the VS – and happy Halloween to you.
(It is heaving it down here, so hope it eases up for the teeny tots to go sweet collecting later.)

Ooooh, so will Floyd mess up or is he going to come to a sticky end??? Or neither?

Ah, a mess up.
That WAS a good answer Lobo – let the Sherriff find him.

OOOH – and this is when Kid gets the famous fleece coat – you do weave in the extra details Penski.
Clapping hard – very good tale.


2) RACHEL

Haha, there is nothing like ripping off – I mean paying homage to, scenes we’ve seen.

Awww, love that the Kid took them down on the count of one.
And we have two sopping wet outlaws – ahem. Lovely.

Do we have any volunteers with warm fluffy towels – orderly queue please, ladies.


3) KATTYL
Hello to you our current bandanny holder…

Thank you for writing – you do know bandanny holders don’t join the poll? You do? Good-oh.

Oh, a night in a graveyard. This sounds Halloween appropriate.

A proper intriguing ghost story the man tells … Reading hard, K.

Awww, loving the Kid dreaming about his family. And he knows it’s a dream. And wise words from his Grandpa Curry. Sniffle.

And indeed, even though they see the ghost, nothing to be scared of.

Clapping very hard at that one – very touching.

4) NM


Oh Heyes, don’t send the Kid down there if he’s hearing worrying noises… Ominous pom, pom, pom…

Poor poor Heyes, all that guilt and grief. Hold onto Lom, Heyes. You do have a true friend left.

And the amnesty for Heyes comes just too late.

That was so sad – and so succinctly told. Well done NM.

Kid4ever: woah by the time I finished that my heart was pounding! Very good :) Perfect halloween tale.

Kid4ever

If I remember correctly, on Halloween the doors to hell are opened up for all creatures to invade the world above. So why not a Manticorn?
The lyrics to Hotel California inspired more than one author to write a ghost story. So, thank you for another Halloween story.

What a funny title "The best ghost stories from the Victorian era to read for Halloween or Christmas".
Who would ever read a scaring story on Christmas to children?
Funny, also, the idea that our great gunman, who can face off the most intimidating antagonist, is impressed by a tale in such a way he develops enough imagination to implement it in a nightmare.
As so often in dreams, you have to look straight through the plot to decipher its meaning.

I was asking myself if Heyes was playing a trick with his friend and partner, at least at the beginning ...
"They can't hurt you. They're just stories; nothing to be scared of.” is there mischief in his eyes??
Of course Kid has to reassure him
“I'm not scared!” He is not a child after all....
But the way he rejects one story after another speaks volumes...

One important sentence gives us a hint what the tale about the monster triggered in Curry
"You told me it wasn't true, Heyes! Where are you? Why'd you leave me to fight the monsters alone?”
He is starting to lose his faith in Heyes... And to be left alone is another big fear of not only him, I guess.

I'm glad Heyes can interrupt Kid's nightmare. That's him. Beforehand, always the confident one, denying high risks and manipulating people. But one thing is for sure: to watch Kid captured and enduring a severe nightmare, wasn't his intention at all.
And there is your second hint to the prompt, almost easy to overlook
"... staring into his eyes with an expression seldom seen on the man's face: fear."
Heyes might not be impressed by ghost stories, but he is, the moment he sees his partner is suffering.
Well done.
And, finally, a wonderful, funny remark as an attempt to ease the situation
" You do listen to me!”

A fitting ghost story based on some of the boys characteristics.

Racheal 741 - Inspired by not "ripped off". I loved the banter on who was gonna go first or how. The Kid going on one and taking Heyes with him was the LOL. Great ASJ adaptation.

Kattayl - I like your "Amnesty but First Penance Universe" and this is a worthy addition. This was a different kind of penance and won that worked out well for all. Curry leaning against a Curry headstone - coincidence? What a lovely dream the Kid had. I really liked this description of Heyes, which is very revealing. "Heyes stood tall and took a deep breath. “Mr. McInerney,” he started with a bit of a tremble in his voice. Jed reflected that he had never heard a tremble in Heyes’ voice before, even when he was addressing the infamous Devil’s Hole Gang.". This was a nice turn for a ghost story.

Kid4ever - I'm of an age where I was a big Eagles fan )saw them in concert many times) so any story that contains "Hotel California" in is a winner in my book and your story did not disappoint. This was a scary, spooky story for the season. Poor Kid, of all the stories in Heyes' book he tried to pick the least scary as related to their situation. It sure didn't work out that way. I wonder if Heyes will rethink accusing the Kid on having no imagination after that harrowing dream. It said a lot that one of the scariest things for Kid was facing the monster alone not necessarily the monster. Thank you for the explanatory notes it adds interest. of course I read the longer version, which wasn't necessary but was appreciated. Nicely written Halloween Ghost story!

5) Kid4 Ever


Ooooh, ghost stories from an eerie stranger – pom, pom, pom.

I remember the Signal Man one!  

Well, Room Lucky 13 in Perdition – do be very wary Kid.

Oh, poor Kid – surrounded by apparitions and the Manticore.   Wake up!!  Wake up!!

Verrrrry Victorian, Kid for Ever.


6) Hannah Heyes

I nearly missed this one, oh wire dodger!!

So, what has HH been up to?

Dear, dear, Lom – you shouldn’t annoy him so much Heyes – however much you are tempted.

And, Kid! Fancy trying to deny you helped!

The horse piccie looks great Hannah. What a trick.

Hannah Heyes - Glad to see a story by you. I loved it and got quite a chuckle out of your Halloween trick or treat story. Heyes should be careful about how much he annoys Lom but this trick was worth it. I found it funny that Kid sat there eating almost the whole pie, acting the innocent one when he was just as culpable for the horse's predicament. Ant the cherry on the top of this story was the picture of the horse. LOL.

HannaHeyes

On Halloween all men - including two ex-outlaws on the run - are small boys at heart...

In your funny story, for me, there are three points to put the main emphasis on :
1) the relationship between Lom and Heyes/Kid
2) the relationship between Heyes/Curry
3) the meaning of Halloween

1) " there's nothing to be afraid of" - if there wouldn't happen to be an ex-outlaw with the best sneaking abilities, who manages to run rings round an experienced sheriff...
Good capture of an outraged mentor trying to keep control over the situation by yelling and cuffing the "miscreant".
I like that Heyes never shows any sign of apprehension, I can almost see his roghuish smile. Very likely he is able to outsmart Lom at any time. His "trick" worked.
I love how much Heyes and Lom react in the same way. Their respective sarcasm is one of the weapons they are fond of. Close to the series.
Lom's relationship with the Kid seems to be more distinct. I got the impression in the series, too. It seems Lom doesn't want to interfere or argue with Kid in the first place. Heyes as the brain is the responsible one. It's him Lom has to put in his place.

2) you reveal a lot of H/C's relationship with those great sentences "Kid's attempt to use his guilt trip skills on someone else for a change", or in Kid's smug remark "I was being good so I rewarded myself." No further explanation needed.
To act in the background has its advantages and to act as the all innocent is definitely to Kid's liking...
Heyes' marvelous remark "I'm not going down alone" gives your readers an impression how it was in their youth.

3) with their contributed gifts they reveal what really was on their mind: to share a festivity and time together with dear close friends - embedded in "tricks and treat".

Great photo. Now I'm wondering whether there was the story or the picture first?

Penski: I look at your story from the viewpoint of a former H.R. manager. Always check references! And, trust your instincts. Heyes and Curry knew the Green River Gang was known for its violence, yet they allowed Floyd to join the DHG anyway. No surprise, really, that Floyd turned out to be a bad 'un.

Rachel_74_1: I love that Kid didn't wait for Heyes to finish counting to three. And, of course, Heyes has to get his back a bit with that gentle kick to the shin.

Kattayl: A poor restless spirit sent to his eternal rest And Jed's ghosts came to him in a dream. This story is about hearing the messages we need to hear to put our spirits at rest. At least Jed got to stay alive while hearing his.

NM131: Very sad, and all too realistic. Guilt can make us lose ourselves in despair.

Kid 4ver: A good ghost story can definitely cause nightmares. Thank goodness Curry's dream turned out to be just a dream.

Hanna Heyes: Now that's my kind of Halloween prank! Nobody, not even the horses, gets hurt. Lom has got to learn to lighten up a bit!

nm131 - My heart was pounding while reading most of your challenge! What were the chances a train would come as they were crossing? Pretty good, if you're Heyes and Curry. Didn't really have an alternative way, though. Lucky that they were able to get out of the way without too much trouble. I bet it did take both excellent horsemen to get the chestnut to cross that scary bridge. Loved it!

Well, well, well … another month over. I have no tea – perhaps if I cough thirstily it will appear. (It did, but it took a while !)




1) Rachel

Dear Heyes, he does love a safe… are his fingers twitching?
Aha – you HAVE covered the challenge topic – smile.
Oooh, oooh – who has turned up. Is it the DHG? It’s got to be surely.
Consider our breath bated Rachel.



2) Kattayl

A list of ladies? Am I on it? Are any of us on it?
(He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice – what does he want, naughty or nice?)

Aww, I quite liked Leslie! Ooooh, a beautiful rich widow … I think both boys would admit that sounds good.

Dear boys, mulling away … I am sure all the ladies of the appreciation society will carry on writing perfect matches for you both.


3) Penski


Oh dear, poor soaking wet boys. Oooh, Heyes know the Sherriff – well, maybe – I am thinking Jack Cooper is not the rarest name in the world – smile. Nope, it’s him.

Poor Heyes! That is a long time to sit in a room. Has he got a good book?

Now, will he be milking the fussing if the nice landlady thinks he is poorly?

There are times I think I might like a nice lie in bed with a book and soup and sandwiches on tap – sigh.

I am loving Heyes being cooped up and the Kid gently teasing him.





4) NM

Aha – it is the bandanny wearer.
Like the boys – I hate mysterious Road Closed signs – one always wonders… perhaps if I drive this way anyhow, it will all be a mistake.
Don’t get mown down by a train boys…
This is tense, run Kid, run! And Heyes is going for the dangling option.
I think both horses deserve to give those two ex-outlaws a piece of their minds!
They should carry Heyes’ horse, let alone cajole it.
That was pacy and very visual NM.

Rachel741 - Oh, I bet Heyes' fingers were twitching. And Kid, turnabout is fair play. Now you know how Heyes feels when you draw attention. Oh no, is it the DHG showing up at a most inconvenient time? Good story, I could picture Heyes' rapturously larcenous face as he looked longingly at the bank.

Kattayl - Oh good, another chapter of your Penance Series. You get mighty creative with those. Kid was pretty creative with his list project. It was interesting to read the columns the various women were placed in and Heyes' reactions. You managed to cover most of them. LOL, Kid was listening after all to Heyes' original question and yes, it would be much better if the long lost family didn't learn of Three T's fate. Fun tale.

Penski - I can't imagine Heyes being cooped up for two whole weeks in the same hotel room. I think Kid showed extraordinary patience and ingenuity in dealing with a frustrated and confined Heyes. There was a lot of good lines in this story but the LOL one was the lines regarding the Bible vs a book Heyes already had read. I really enjoyed the story.