Awestruck Comments 8th October 16 to....2nd Sept 17

This way lovelies

Put your comments here.

We don't want the poor old board creaking at the seams.

First one to comment on the new thread!

Cal – The mayor’s daughter, huh?  Well, if “gran’pa” looks like Ben, he’s still a good looker!  Okay, I’m a little confused.  Is “gran’pa” really Kid Curry or was this gal remembering her first love seeing Kid Curry and married someone similar in looks?  I can’t see a mayor thinking a former outlaw would be “a fine catch for a Mayors daughter from Benton.”  Loved the first look and the meeting later.  Definitely ghosts as she remembers he riding away.  Very good challenge.  

Sister Grace – Oh my, last month Ghislaine and BeeJay and now Sister Grace wrote a challenge!  What a wonder autumn!  Dare I hope for a Frankie or Calico or Kid4Ever challenge next?  Or maybe an Eleanor W or joannb?

Back to the challenge…  I really enjoy stories when one of the boys is telling the tale from his point of view.  Aww… Right after Matherville.  That usually means a reflective tale.  Wrestling with his conscious.  It is amazing how the quietest things sound so loud when you’re trying hard to sleep and can’t.  Oh, an inspiration from Edgar Allan Poe.  Very well done!  

mo..ooowww....re ghosty stories...

SisterGrace OOh ...we're in Kid's head (what a lovely place to be)....oh perhaps not its post Bilson/Matherville....I like you got Heyes sleeping for once and a wakeful Kid...interesting Kid thinks Seth kept him going, not the other way round....and Kid didn't stick around to see Danny was six feet under....interesting....The sting of death wiped that smug smile off his face for good. ....love that...rings so true for Kids mindset....love the use of tick tick and click click....I'm in that room with those annoying sounds...hah...Kid knows where his motivation came from...think you got that spot on too...that’s exactly how I wanted him.....he's looking for a confessor?....do you think Heyes will talk it through with him or leave Kid to his ghosts?

Really good challenge writing....much more there than what's on the page.


Question: Whats a 'discussion story'...sounds intriguing.

And Penski: My story was deliberately ambiguous....there's definitely some lying going on...I know the conversation I heard between Nana and Jane (and I have to say the actress that played Nana was fabulous) and she made it obvious who Gran'pappy was or was not...I just want to see what other readers think before I clear that up for you....Calx

Wichita Red: Wow, you really took us into a nightmare. I was recoiling in my seat from the descriptions of those terrifying spirits.

Cornelia May: The way you describe the scene is vivid. I can really hear and see the boys sitting there, urging Heyes on to tell a ghost story. I don't know if I'd go back into that cabin after that spectral sighting!

Cal: I'm honored to be an inspiration, but your story is definitely not an imitation. You really take us along with the old lady to the memories of her youth, and beautifully described the power of an instant connection. That kind of memory would definitely make this grandmother look young again -- it's the power of love, isn't it?

Sister Grace: Killing somebody is the sort of thing that would keep a pretty good bad man up at night, isn't it? The little details you give us provide such context to the scene -- that loud watch that won't stop ticking, even though it's wrapped up and stuffed in a saddlebag. Nicely done.

Alias Alice -Ghost
Nice little play on the ghost of guilt for this. I like the whole piece about the ticking clock and it keep the thoughts flowing forward. Hopefully Kid will be able to work through what he is feeling. Some great symbolism and turns of the words here. Thanks for sharing.

Cal - Ghost

One ghost definitely still haunts Nana's past, at least that is my take. Because I do not deem the man she is married to is the one her heart recognized. Such sadness on both ends when you really stop to think it over. Lovely lil' tale.

Little Bluestem: You sure caught me by surprise! Nothing I like better than a well thought-out twist to the tale, and you sure provided it. Well done!

Little Bluestem:
Really scary and atmospheric tale.  I'd have been taken in, too - I thought she was a ghost!  Just like the boys to have their good nature taken advantage of.  Excellent story.

RosieAnnie:
Very much like the nostagia of this story.  And the relationship between Grandpa and Tadpole.  Like the idea of 'gentlemen robbers'! And I loved the line "The dark sky filled with the fires of the Milky Way'. Very poetic, and it tied in with the idea of the ghost 'glistening under the glow of a million stars".  Lovely tale.

WitchitaRed:
Found the descriptions of the ghosts incredibly vivid.  Liked the way this showed how strong Heyes's imagination and feelings are.  Liked the way you tied this in with the story you are developing every month.
Witchita, I have 4 times tried to email a reply to the email you sent me.  You don't seem to have received any of them.  The answer was, of course, 'Yes!  Thank  you for the opportunity!'   - I'm on holiday now for a fortnight.  When I return I'll try to contact you again.  Sorry about this muddle.

Cornelia May:
I love ghost stories, and this one is really scary!  I wouldn't like to read this alone in the house at night.  Really frightening!  Very well done!

Cal:
I like the way you turned your ghost story into a love story.  And what a love story!Truly romantic. And what a wonderful description of the gorgeous Kid Curry!  (Nice description of Heyes too!) Loved it all!  BTW, I don't think Grandpa IS Kid.  But you must tell us!

Sister Grace:
I liked very much this take on how Kid is haunted by the Bilson incident.  I like the way you analyse Kid's states of mind.  Poor Kid.  Even Heyes is asleep, and can't help him.  He WAS right.  Or was he?  Will he ever work it out?  A very well-written story.

Witchita, I'm honoured that you thought SisterGrace's 'Ghost' challenge was by me! But the account of how Kid tries to cope with how he dealt with Danny Bilson is not mine! I wish it was!

Alias Alice, I just sat down with a brew after walking my dogs for nearly two hours...and what pops up on my messages?  a new story on here....perfect timing and perfect length for a lovely break....so special thanks from me this month...

Fab scene setting Alice...Amongst the trees and under the rocks, groups of shadows gathered and shifted. ...particularly like that bit....creepy...literally! Poor Kid...another bang on that gorgeous head...oooooh.....a woman in white....and Heyes hasn't seen her...snirt...he won't like being missed out...I love the way they always find a doctor for each other....no 6 hour wait at A&E huh....Oh good ghostly goings on at the big house....Im seeing the Bates Motel again...and just for tall blond young men at the crossroads....what a brilliant idea for a really chilling tale....that was fab! Halloween kudos Alias Alice.

Calx

Alias Alice: Very nice ghost story. You did a good job setting the scene at the beginning; I could really feel the darkness encroaching. The whole story of the ghost was plausible. It did sound like a story we have here in Chicago, about a ghost named Resurrection Mary who hitchhikes, in her wedding dress, near Resurrection Cemetary. This was an excellent response to the prompt.

1) Little Bluestem

“I ain’t afraid of no ghosts,” ,,, smile. Cue music. So the boys are staying in a supposedly haunted house, huh? Not haunted by us lot, is it? That’d be dangerous.

Ooooooh. So Mary was a g.g.g.ghost? (Mind you there is clue in the title.)

Loving their reaction to finding Kid’s jacket on the cross.

And I ADORE the ending – I don’t think our boys can complain if occasionally they are on the wrong end of being scammed. Clapping hard.



2) RosieAnnie

Oooh, we are in some future post DHG time. You got me all intrigued right at the start, Rosie.

Now…? Is Grandpa someone we know? No hints as such – just wondering.

Grandpa IS one our boys, huh? Getting hints now.

Wonderful holding back on and then reveal of the grandson’s name, Rosie.

LOVED that one. So clever. And it was touching without ever slipping into mushy territory.



3) WichitaRed

A continuation from last month? Let me get my tea in my hand and settle back…

Very atmospheric. Not sure I’m entirely getting if any of it is real or if all of it is ghosts from the past.



4) Cornelia May

So all the boys are saying how sceptical they are… until they see a female shadow pass by the cabin window. Then they’re not so brave. Really liking the thought of all the gang sitting around telling ghost stories every year.



5) Cal

Grandma was the Mayor’s daughter? So did she fall in love with…
Teasing hint there Cal.
Blue eyes, golden curls and a low slung gun belt. If only we had any clue who that could be?

You’ve left all those yearning Kidettes a few gaps to fill in, Cal.
I’m sure they’ll be enjoying coming up with the de-masking reunion at that Halloween ball.



6) Sister Grace



Yee haw! Sister G has come out for a challenge.

Oh, Kid. Wrestling with the ghosts of your own conscience, huh? Justice versus revenge is a fine line.
Liking the use of the ticking watch.




7) Alias Alice


So both Kid and the horse saw – something and someone?
She was waiting for her worthless lover… Sniff.
Good tag line from Heyes about not wanting anyone else in doubt over who Thaddeus is..,
Succinctly told, Alice.

MoulinP
A different 'take' on the ghost theme.  A glimpse of the boys' past, and a look at their future, where you show us Heyes as the sort of doting dad we could all imagine him becoming.  We understand why Susan is daddy's girl, too.  Nice story.  

Tcalleen:
Loved this humourous tale.  Very clever of grandpa to turn the tables!  Nice to see an early Heyes' plan (or two).  Very nice to see how Heyes was already sticking up for his 'partner'.  I loved the way he waited after school for Kid.  I also enjoyed how the teacher saw through the little story they'd concocted for her!

Remuda:
If there was a 'ghost of a chance'  the Kid would give it a try.  I enjoyed how you showed how far he'd risk himself  to try to get a break for the two of them.  Also his stubbornness - and his courage.  I must admit you had me worried for a while.  Me and Heyes both!   A very enjoyable story!

Alias Alice – The first paragraph’s description was great and really set the mood for the story!  Ouch… Poor Kid Curry’s head!  Oh, it’s getting spooky.  What a sad tale!  Great ending with all three denying the existence of ghosts.  Very good challenge!  

Moulin P – Your ASJ universe has Heyes as a mayor, if I remember correctly.  How sweet of Heyes and Mary to ask what Susan wants for her birthday and what a lovely gift she requests.  Hmm… Heyes is taking his daughter to the very expensive Italian restaurant before he takes his wife there?  He better be planning to date nights with his two favorite gals.  Having a special father/daughter night will be wonderful memories for a lifetime.  So Heyes’ daughter takes after his mother.  Very nice.  

Tcalleen – Oh good, a childhood story.  That darn Tommy Jenkins getting lit’ Jed in trouble.  Mind you, Jed shouldn’t have had his sling-shot out during class.  I’m loving this teacher noticing but going along with it all!  What a Hannibal Heyes plan comparing Jed to David.  The next plan is spookier.  LOL… Gotta love Grandpa Curry!  Wonderful!  

Remuda – I don’t remember this one.  Kid, you can’t be serious.  I’m gonna have to side with Heyes on this – not one of your better ideas.  They say desperation can make a man do things and it must be right.  OUCH!!  Poor Kid!  At least he got something for his pain this time.  Loved it!  

Oh...popped by to read Penski's latest challenge....never misses...I see her typing hands are working??????? Mystery for Halloween perhaps..."The case of the missing Challenge".....?.....No pressure Penski...but you have fans you know!

But what do I see....a triumbrate of wire dodgers! Good grief people ... bunch of outlaws....

Moulin P....I remember the story about the original drawing and how Heyes kept it to himself....to think he'd keep it safe through all they went through and still have it as his only link to his mum...past ghosts indeed.  Lovely story about the birthday treat...to bring us to the real point of the story...the picture...and I also like the thought of Susan's talent being passed down to her grand daughter...well done

TCalleen - What a trick and Treat offering from you this month.  I love the way you write about the boys as carefree tykes...and the adults about them...colluding in Heyes' opinion of himself as a genius...Grandpa Curry making an appearance right at the end was a lovely twist in a very entertaining tale...fab

Remuda - I don't like boxing.....almost as scary as clowns! So you have me reading with one eye only....well...I can see where this is going...thanks for the brevity of the actual pugilisting....I'm always in awe of the historical accuracy and the added information you bring to your challenge writing and your another regular to rely on each month....bit of an uncomfortable read for me ....but well written as always

LittleBluestem- I loved the imagery you used in this story. I honestly thought the girl was alive when Kid gave his jacket to the girl to use as a blanket. Also loved how the men in the bar told the ghost story to them and they were still skeptical until they found Kid's jacket in the grave yard. Really loved finding out it was al an elaborate hoax at the end. Well done.

RosieAnnie- I knew instantly that this was Heyes as a grandpa taking his grandson back to what remained of the Devil's Hole hideout. I really liked that you brought out Heyes' cynical side in this story when he was talking about how Christian his daughter was compared to him. I honestly could see this happening to either Heyes or Kid in the end. Bitter-sweet vision.

WichitaRed- OOOH scary. Heyes seeing ghosts from the past as Billie and Kid face off. “What kind of ingrate invites death to stand beside ‘em?” has to be my favorite line in this piece. Can't wait to see how you continue this story for next month.

Cal- I take it there is a little shuck and jive going on in Nana's memory. It wasn't clear to me if she had in fact married Kid Curry, but I think that's what I liked most in this piece. I have read it three times and each time I have come to the conclusion she is just remembering seeing the Kid. Very fun read.

Sister Grace- I loved that is a reflection from Kid on his stand off with Billson. I also loved that this was inspired by a Halloween staple from Edgar Allen Poe.

Alias Alice- OOOOH! A woman in white that only shows herself to blond haired, blue eyed fellas late at night. Aww, poor Kid getting hurt like that. Also, just out of curiosity, were you watching the pilot episode of Supernatural when you wrote this?

MoulinP- I loved this story. I remember reading the story where the drawing made it's original appearance. I'm glad it wasn't lost along the way with all the misadventures Heyes and the Kid had. It must have been a ghost from the past when Heyes was showing it to his wife and when Mary saw the name of the artist was their Susan's grandmother. Lovely read.

Tcalleen- Supposedly haunted house in Heyes and Kid's home town. Slingshot capers in the classroom. And a surprise appearance by Grandpa Curry at the end. I bet the boys were scared straight for a month. Very nice and comical take on this month's challenge.

Remuda- Kid taking on the Boston Strongboy and finishing the fight and winning $250 dollars. sounds like he ad more than a ghost of a chance. Good that his stubbornness paid off this time. Nice take on the challenge.

Alias Alice - Your Halloween tale gave me the chills. I enjoyed it very much!


MoulinP - So ghosts of the past haunt even the great Hannibal Heyes. I wonder if he'll ever change his mind and allow his daughter to draw a picture of him. Very enjoyable story, MoulinP.


Tcalleen - Haha! Good old Grandpa Curry. How clever he was, outsmarting the boys with a plan of his own. I sure hope that somewhere along the line, Tommy learned his lesson.


Remuda - I don't remember this story, Remuda, but I certainly did enjoy reading it! Well done, and I love the writer's notes at the end.

So I already commented on RosieAnnie's fine story on the old board; another excellent offering! Now I am finally getting to the rest of y'all:

WichitaRed -- as always, beautifully vivid descriptions! Heyes's eerie hallucinations were downright spooky! Looks like he had enough of this showdown nonsense and took matters into his own hands. I am sure the Kid wasn't too happy about that. But at least he saved the young upstart Billie from public humiliation and possible bloodshed. Is this story going to continue.....?

Cornelia May -- Ooh, a Haunted Hole! So fun to picture our big tough outlaws getting all shivery and scared over a ghost story -- that surprisingly turns out to actually be true! Great ending!

Cal -- Haha! Of course she wasn't talking about meeting Grampaw -- she was telling the (no doubt unforgettable!) story of meeting good old Kid Curry! Aaahhh, who wouldn't remember that first sight so fondly! Ironic and very funny that she turned out to be the Mayor's daughter! Just hope her actual husband looked at least a little bit like our favorite blue-eyed cowboy...

Sister Grace -- The evil Danny Bilson definitely haunted poor Kid for quite some time. Great first person POV getting a peek into the Kid's angsty soul. And a lovely little nod to one of EAP's classics!

Alias Alice -- Wow, the Kid was sure featured heavily in this month's challenge! This is such a great story! Hell hath no fury, etc... Poor jilted ghost girl. Hope her former lover passes by the five rocks some day so karma can do its work! Good thing the Kid has a hard head...

MoulinP -- OOh! Loved this! I seem to recall reading other stories from this "universe"... Very sweet of Heyes to take his daughter out for a special "grown up" birthday dinner, but then the memories of his mother, the first Susan, were lovely and so poignant. Glad he shared with Mary. Now he better take HER to that fancy new restaurant!


Tcallen - Oh, what a great story! I always enjoy reading tales from our guys' early boyhoods -- those happy golden days before it all went south. Your descriptions and dialogue were all so spot-on! Heyes evidently utilized his silver tongue at a very young age to great effect. And I could just picture that whole scene with the Kid's "angelic" facial expression coming and going. I loved how you could tell that Miss Wilson saw right through them both, but gave in anyway. (Who wouldn't?!) Poor Jed getting blamed unfairly! Revenge may be sweet, but Grampa Curry got the last laugh in this one!

Remuda -- You may have arrived late to the party, but it was worth the wait! Again, our poor Kid gets pounded -- but at least he did well enough for the Champ to feel it! And to get the prize money, too! He earned it, alright! I admit, I didn't get the connection to the theme at first -- a "ghost" of a chance! Clever not to go the obvious route!

Well done, all! Very enjoyable reading! (Although it's going to be really hard to choose for the poll....)

Ahhhhh... three ladies who like to make a mad final dash


8) MoulinP


Yup, I agree with Susan. Nothing like a posh night out all gussied up.
Oh, I dunno Heyes – isn’t there one too many pictures of you around already? Awwww ghosts of the fateful day, huh? So he’s still got the picture his Ma drew. Double and triple Awwww. Very, very sweet Moulin P




9) Tcalleen


Oh Tommy! You sneaking false snitch!
"You was coming with us?" snirt, snirt, snirt.
Emphasising the ‘see’ – again, snirt, snirt.
Absolutely LOVE Grandpa Curry turning the tables on our little revenge seekers. That was fun TC.


10. Remuda


Hey, we have a wire dodger. [Bearing in mind if the old Calico fails to turn on the electricity on the wire, midnight can drift a tad. Smile.]

No Kid, don’t do it! All those Curry-ettes need you to stay pretty.
Now, I haven’t spotted how long this fight is? Does Kid have to stay upright indefinitely?

This can’t be ASJ world. They got paid fair and square! Only teasing. Good old stalwart Kid. Ladies who wish to nurse him – orderly queue please.

Ghosts alias Alice
Well I can see why kids irrational discussion has his cousin worried. And I see it as a wise choice to leave town. I liked the mood writing you add in this. Gave off quite the gloomy eerie feeling.


MoulinP ghosts

Very charming story, it is always interesting to see the Various what ifs for the guys future. Enjoyed how you told the tale and your keen sense of description


Tcalleen ghosts

Fun tale of innocence and the drama that children can create for themselves. Enjoy the grandpa curry twist at the end

Remuda ghosts

Just starting out, I cannot The skate how sad I feel for them and how poor they are. Another night on the hard ground and barely coins this scrape together.
Cannot believe Kidd is considering getting in a fight… On purpose. As much as we love him we've all seen he's much better with a gun in with his fists.
Heyes has a dang good point about a shooting hand and his lack of commonsense.
I am really enjoying the dialogue you have created, it sounds very much like them. Yeah I like this, give me that warm little fuzzy smile at the end. Nice piece of history about John Sullivan too

Little Bluestem
Loved the twist at the end. Wonder how the boys'll feel when they find out they've lost the money? Again!

Rose Annie
I remember reading this before and thinking then was Grandpa one of our boys. So, I read this time slow and carefully. At first I was convinced it was Heyes, then no, definitely the Kid. Uh-huh, no its Heyes. Then no - oh I don't know! You tease!

Wichita Red
Ooh that was very scary - loved the descriptions. I could really see it happening. Glad Heyes diffused the situation you left us with last month. Hope there's no lingering effect on Heyes. Guess I'll have to wait until next month - but wait - it's there - its there already! Hurray!

Cornelia May
Very spooky! I liked the idea that our big brave boys stayed in the bunkhouse with the rest of the Gang. For company? Late night poker? Wonder how they justified it to the Gang without appearing to be cissies?

Cal
So Grandma had a yearning for the Kid after only a brief glimpse. More partial to his friend myself but I can appreciate the effect the Kid has on women. I liked this story. The effect never leaves you.

Sister Grace
A haunted Kid trying to justify to himself what he did. Was Heyes really sleeping I wonder? It's always the same when you can't sleep the slightest bit of noise is a major irritation. Poor Kid.

Alias Alice
Apron blowing in the wind? Dark and stormy night? Ominous date? Ooh - er - ooh! Having heard rather than seen ghostly noises myself, I can understand why the boys didn't want to hang around in that town longer than necessary. Great story - well told.


Tcalleen
So many good lines in this one. So the plotting and planning started early for Heyes and the need to practise his aim for the Kid. Liked the twist at the end - rare appearance for Grandpa Curry.

Remuda
Completely different take on the prompt but it certainly works. Our Kid up against a boxing champ, Marquis of Queensbury rules and gloves no less. Does he have a chance? Even a ghostly one? 'Fraid not but he did get the soft bed he was yearning for even if he ached all over. Nice one Rem.

Alias Alice: Tomorrow

Well written and interesting piece. Did it come from another story, I ask, as I do not recognize the characters. But, I liked the lady playing the fortune teller and how the fortunes, which were being forced upon here, felt as uncomfortable for her as they did the girls.
So, does she get the fan, because her Mother dies?

CAC - tomorrow

OH, I am right there with Kid on the election issue… oooh, he is thinking tomorrow it will be over, and he is so right for all of us. (“You’re an official ex-crook and you ran the Devil’s Hole Gang. That must make you the Devil.”) Terrific line and thought process.
Hmm…. Kid’s thought process is actually making a lot of sense. I like it, short and sweet, almost as if you were eavesdropping on their conversation. Well done!

Finishing up with October, now that I've found where I hid my password for this forum.

MoulinP: What a sweet story. Hard to pull out a favorite part, but that little bit of dialogue between the two boys, about growing up, ("Do WE to go through a transformation?") was hilarious. And then you took us through Heyes' bittersweet memories, adding some sadness. What a fine balance you achieved here.

TCalleen: Very enjoyable childhood story. I liked how the adults were reflected in the children. In particular, I'm thinking about the evolution of a Hannibal Heyes plan, and that angelic innocent face that Jed could pull up so adroitly.

Remuda: Oh, poor Kid! He almost came to his senses about the fight a few times, but, as usual with him, pride and stubbornness won out. The historical tie-in was very interesting. In later life, Curry could claim, with pride, that he had lost to John L. Sullivan!