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 Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15

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Penski
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Wed Sep 30, 2015 9:38 pm

Skykomish - I am so glad you're writing again. I really missed your stories and this one certainly did not disappoint. Loved the lovely, but dangerous Vivian. Heyes should have listened to his partner. I can just hear the Kid saying "I told you so" a few times once they're out of their predicament. Wonderful story telling!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Thu Oct 01, 2015 1:29 pm

Remuda
Penski
Skykomish

All such different stories.
A novel that keep Kid Curry hooked.
A meeting and an opportunity missed Sad
And a mystery woman that outsmarts Hannibal Heyes!

Thank you ladies. I enjoyed them all :)

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Oct 02, 2015 6:42 am

Maz: Okay, I feel like I should know the backstory of the girl from Michigan, but I don't. Anyway, good use of the prompt. Those men had lots of good reasons for running late. Is there a little 420 joke in there too?

Alias Alice: Boy, that was a perfect storm of lateness, wasn't it? My favorite part might be the reference to the "storm being over."

Remuda: Vengeance, and the desire for it, can be taken too far, where it takes over and destroys a life. You showed that perfectly here. This poor woman was offered several chances to move on with her life and rebuilt it, but she was consumed by hate.

Penski: I was thinking of Butch and Sundance as I read your story. Absolutely plausible for our boys, too. Also plausible is the idea that they were tired of waiting on the governor and tried to find another way to get the reward on them withdrawn.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Oct 02, 2015 6:44 am

Skykomish: When will Heyes learn to listen to Curry? *le sigh* Heyes even recognizes, right at the beginning, that he's looking at "a fellow professional" but he doesn't realize what that means. Oh well, they probably wouldn't do well in South America anyway.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Oct 02, 2015 9:51 am


3) Remuda

Hey, it’s a bandanny wearin’ wire dodger showing up early!
So, the boys are reading their own fanfiction, huh? OH! I see why we stopped to admire Ham’s dimples. She is going to use dopplegangers somehow. Reading, reading. Oh, Delia – she shot her dopplegangers. But.. but.. Lovely twist at the end there Remuda. And how clever of you to give us two stories for the price of one.


4) Penski

Oh, bless Heyes – he’s hired someone to silver tongue for him, has he? Based on a real story? I never read that about Butch and Sundance, Penski, interesting stuff. And all down to bad weather. Shame.


5) Skykomish

Lambent wit? Can I have me some of that? Sounds better than the common or garden type o’ wit. Is HH going to fall for a fellow professional gambler here? Go on playing hard to get, Vivian. He’s getting hooked. So, Kid was right all along. A bounty huntress. Did she just call Kid sandy haired? Is that allowed? Maz – I call for a Curryette ruling. Loving the ‘now its our stay outta jail money’ line. Well played Vivian! And fair played too. Clapping hard.


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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Oct 02, 2015 7:35 pm

Maz
Fun crossover and like the wink to that Michigan gal. She's got great taste on both fronts.

Alias Alice
So they were both late, but only Kid's being overdue counted? Hmm ... Smiled when Kid asked what he said in the telegram he sent - cute!

Penski
Like that this was inspired by real events and thanks for including the links. Too bad the storm made them late.

Skykomish
You know I adore this. Heyes has certainly met his match here, but unfortunately doesn't heed his partner's warning and they both pay the price. It's smartly written and as biting as the snake to which Kid alluded. Clapping!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Sat Oct 03, 2015 7:05 am

Maz: Loved the Hell On Wheels crossover!  The boys are going to be a long time waiting for the ol' 4:20.  So who's this Michigan gal?  

Alias Alice: Lateness seems to be an epidemic for the boys and, LOL, you don't get much later than Richard McTavish.  Cute use of the prompt. It reminded me of Stephen Hawking's theory of parallel universes.  You brought both 'worlds' to life with your excellent writing.  Clever how the stories converged.

Penski: You've given us a nicely written twist on history so neatly fitted to the prompt.  Loved the notes at the end.

Skyomish: At the beginning, I thought I'd read this before and I wonder if part of it was from a shorter story or word challenge, but I didn't recognize the ending at all.  Loved Vivian's effortless handling of the two notorious outlaws.  She's a female character I'd like to see more of.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Sat Oct 03, 2015 7:24 am

Alias Alice - Your story is loads of fun.  The conversation between Heyes and Curry is well written.  Loved this line, "And Hi to you too!" retorted the Kid.  But my favorite part was the "late" Mr. McTavish.  (Is he related to the handsy sea captain?)

Remuda - You already know that I love this story.  The repeated references to highway robbery are fun.  Poor Delia has been eaten alive by her desire for revenge.  She is given opportunities to let go of her hatred and build a life, but she won't do it. The ending is both twisted and very affecting.

Penski - Butch Cassidy's miscommunication with the railroad because of a storm is one of my favorite historical events.  Great thinking to use this as the basis for this challenge prompt.  I certainly hope going back to robbing trains works out better for Heyes and Kid Curry  than it did for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.  Good Story.

Inside Outlaw  The first few paragraphs of my story were originally posted in the old word challenge on this board.  I kept the text, because I liked the character and hoped to use her in a full story, and here she is again.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Sun Oct 04, 2015 3:28 am

Skyomish: Good story! Not often Heyes is outsmarted, but I think those blue eyes and glossy curls had a lot to do with it! Like the 'take' on 'running late' - hope they managed to free themselves.
By the way, hadn't heard of Captain MacTavish so looked him up on Wikipedia. I can confirm that he's not related to my MacTavish, who was just a quiet living citizen!

Penski: I so enjoyed the way you told this story. You brought out the sad irony of the 'lateness'. What a pity the delegation were unluckily held up by the mud-slide on the track. A small detail that changed the boys' lives. Sad to think it happened to Butch and Sundance.

Remuda: Very unusual to have a 'story within a story'. I liked the way the boys both got really involved with it. They couldn't put it down. Like the way that Heyes was really interested in the plan in the story.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Sun Oct 04, 2015 7:49 am

Alias Alice - I didn't mean to send you on a research expedition with my comment.  I was referring to Captain MacTavish from the episode Journey to San Juan who was the sea captain who chased Michelle Monet off his ship and into the wagon of Curry and Heyes.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Sun Oct 04, 2015 11:53 am

Remuda - Wow! I really enjoyed this, Remuda. A little bit eerie and whole lot good! Might just be my new favorite of yours. caitsh

Penski - Very good story. I could definitely see HH and KC doing exactly the same thing Butch did--returning the non-favor by robbing the Union Pacific again. Clapping! train


Skykomish - This is beautifully written, Skykomish! Vivian--Was she fashioned after Vivien Leigh? Kind of reminded me of Scarlett O'Hara, only tougher. Especially liked these lines:

“How much trouble could someone that small and pretty possibly be?”

“I don't know, Heyes. How much trouble can Clem cause?”


and

“What? That's our South America money, Heyes.”

“Well, now it's our stay outta jail money. Get it.”
chips

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Sun Oct 04, 2015 9:22 pm

Maz - What?!? You ARE going to finish this challenge, right? !? Sheesh... double whammy for the Kid! Heyes better come up with two of his famous plans to help out his partner.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Tue Oct 06, 2015 8:48 am

Maz - Lovely descriptive writing at the beginning.  The mood shift from optimism to ominous was deftly written.  But . . . "Hurry" . . . "Curry" . . .    Really!!   Well, Miss Maz best scurry back to her keyboard and let us know if someone is truly in a flurry of trouble.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Tue Oct 06, 2015 10:54 am

Maz:  I only have two words for you--Aargh!  Cliffhanger!!  (okay, maybe that's really only one word). thumbsup

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Tue Oct 06, 2015 9:19 pm

Inside Outlaw - I love reading outlaw stories of Heyes and Curry and this story was no exception! Heyes can control the gang but not Mother Nature.  Good thing Preacher knew the Bible well enough to not only " sermonize" for near 2 hours but use the eclipse to control the townsfolk.   Wonderful challenge! two thumbs

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Wed Oct 07, 2015 8:14 am

InsideOutlaw - Such a fun story!  I really enjoyed reading this one.  It has action, humor, and great lines.  Preacher was inspired.  Great use of the prompt.  Not even Heyes can out plan mother nature.  Clapping hard.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Thu Oct 08, 2015 7:50 am


Inside Outlaw) Brilliant challenge, Inside Outlaw, from start to finish! I enjoyed every word! Very clever to have the idea of an eclipse to upset their plans - and a very clever solution of Preacher's to the problem.

I enjoyed the way the boys made sure everyone in the gang knew what he was supposed to be doing. No wonder Heyes's plans were so succesful.

Loved the humour. Loved it all!

Skykomish) By the way, Skykomish - thanks for your note on MacTavish!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Thu Oct 08, 2015 1:29 pm

Maz,  I have to say I agree with everyone here and can't wait to read more. You are amazing with cliffhangers, but some of us need a little more.  I don't get on as often as I should, but today took my breath away. reading
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Oct 09, 2015 12:38 pm

Maz - This is really, REALLY good! And you're not leavin' us hanging here, are you? 'Cause you wouldn't do that to us, would you? Clapping! spider

InsideOutlaw - Indeed the Lord does work in mysterious ways! Great challenge, I.O. You worked the recent "Blood Moon" into the this robbery very nicely! caitsh

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Oct 09, 2015 12:47 pm

Sister Grace - Love how you used emoticons for your story breaks! Oh, a dark and mysterious night. And an even more mysterious woman! Yay for Heyes and Cur... oh. Phew! Love the ending! Wonderful challenge using Mrs. Moonlight! applause

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Oct 09, 2015 2:36 pm

It's my turn to apologize to Alias Alice and to Remuda. I read the challenge stories all in one go and accidentally combined my comments.


Alias Alice: I enjoyed how everything was running late including Mr. McTavish. What a frustration for our heroes but a great use of the prompt!


Remuda: I loved the story within a story and how it all came together at the end. Well done!!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Mon Oct 12, 2015 9:24 pm

Maz
An aftermath of an earthquake.  My first thought was did Heyes feel it, given it happened only a couple hours before he rode in?  He wouldn't have been too far away.  Great ending, leaving us guessing:  Kid or not?  Love this line; it really describes the scene:  "They clambered over fallen timbers, broken furniture and spilt drinks."  Well done!

InsideOutlaw

Oh, this is classic!  A Hannibal Heyes' plan gone awry; guess he wasn't up on his astronomical forecasts.  But leave it to Preacher to save the day.  He sure does have the Good Book down pat; had the crowd bated to his every breath.  Wonderful use of the prompt.  Clapping hard!

Sister Grace

Oh my -- that was quite the nightmare.  Very atmospheric in tone; a bit eerie what with fortunes and mysterious women.  Or is a certain lone coyote's howl and prowl haunting a certain blond ex-outlaw?  Old Mexico sounds about right, instead of the Beaches of Cheyenne, of which this reminds somewhat, or had the possibility to be.  Nicely done!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Thu Oct 15, 2015 8:21 pm

Alias Alice
A nice little ficlet. Very descriptive; you've set a quiet tone of wonderment -- of wistful longing and what might be. One hopes the partners will make their way "in" one day. Nicely done.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Mon Oct 19, 2015 5:51 am


Maz: Unexpected twist at end - just when Heyes thought it was all OK - very nasty shock for him - and us - hope you're going to write some more and put him and us out of suspense!

sistergrace: Clever idea. I enjoyed reading this. Good story, good ending.

Ty: Very original entry. As always! Very nice photos. Heyes takes care of Kid - enjoyed it all!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Tue Oct 20, 2015 1:22 pm

Alias Alice - What a beautifully descriptive piece - I was right there seeing and sensing everything!

Ty Pender - A kid goat... haze fog... HEY, these Kid and Haze aren't our favorite former outlaws! They're... they're aliases! Very original!

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