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 Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016

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Calico

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PostSubject: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Sun Nov 01, 2015 1:19 am

1) Maz McCoy

Hey, it’s the birthday gal.
An earthquake.  I dunno that we’ve had many fanfic earthquakes.  Settles down and prepares to see our boys being a tad heroic.   Eeeeeeek!  Kid is there, under the rubble.   Now, that could be a nice VS opener Mizz Maz.   Clapping a good opening here.  



2) InsideOutlaw


Oooh – plotting.   Is Wheat gonna light up too soon?  Will Kyle get converted by Preacher and not hand over the dynamite?  Is it a blood moon?  Is that the problem?   Do you know what I bet?  I bet Inside has been looking up the dates.   Oh, nope.  An eclipse.  Come on boys, everyone’s staring up.  You could sneak past.   Preacher to the rescue!  He’s going to have them all run for the hills!!   That was a truly clever story, Inside.  Loved it.


3) Sistergrace


Now, are the repeated ‘wolfs’ something so subtle I don’t get it??  ‘Cos – I love the premonition story but I don’t understand the wolf wolf.   Anyhow, will Heyes listen to Kid’s dream – or will they head off to meet Lom anyhow?



4) Alias Alice

Awwww, our boys feeling on the outside looking in.  Is that a little nostalgia for when they had a home you’re invoking there, Alice?   They could come sit in our cabins, couldn’t they ladies?


5) Ty pender

Oh, I say!  You certainly spoilt us with our sound and vision bedtime stories.   So, any Kid can always rely on Haze if lost and alone.   Clapping until my hooves smart.   And bleating Bravo.


6) MoulinP



A newbie to the challenge!   Welcome, welcome – thank you for coming to play with us!
Ah, methinks Moulin is treating us to a little classic hurt and comfort.   Always goes down with the gals.  They want to watch out for that Coyote though – she can be tricky.  And voracious.     Poor old Heyes!   But at least a little suffering has brought the boys together again.   Now, you must play regularly Moulin.  



7) skykomish

It is our bandanny winner.    What’s that?  Breaching the limit ‘cos you are not polling?   Well, I guess we have to let our winners have a few privileges, huh?
So, Heyes is getting a little family time at last.   Oh, sniffle.  Don’t we just love him star gazing with his nephew Jimmy.  



8) Remuda


And it’s our wire dodger!!!  Swift as thought is her pen!  
Run squirrel, run!!   Poor old Tufty.
Y’know, Heyes can come cook for me if he wants the restaurant practice.  
Now, did Kid’s bullet ricochet?  Has he, so to speak, been hoist with his own petard?  Oh, we don’t know.   I will stay on the noises in the trees being a snickering squirrel assumption.


Last edited by Calico on Sat Oct 08, 2016 2:20 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Sun Nov 01, 2015 6:15 am

Remuda: Whew, I'm glad I didn't read that last night or I never would've gotten to sleep. Will you continue this story? You've got me hooked and I want to know what happens next.

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PostSubject: Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!   Sun Nov 01, 2015 10:40 am

1. Come, ye thankful people, come,
raise the song of harvest home;
all is safely gathered in,

IMHO, a challenge story for November's topic should include reference to this great old Thanksgiving Hymn.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msOzJ6DY7EA

written in England in 1844.  Lyrics here:

http://www.hymnsite.com/lyrics/umh694.sht

Perhaps Heyes leads the congregants?  Perhaps Kid provides the sermon?

Or, as an alternative, Heyes sings:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3oSyr8mHY4

while the Kid goes over to his bucket and eats his ...

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Sun Nov 01, 2015 7:53 pm

Sister Grace - Coyotes in this story.  What does that portend?  I wondered if Governor Moonlight would come out to play this month.  But Mrs. Moonlight . . .  very clever.  I liked the spooky gypsy wagon and the howling canines.  I was worried until the wake  up scene at the end.  Very fun October story.


Alias Alice -  I enjoyed all of the descriptions of light and moonlight flowing through this tale.  The fire and lamp light beaming forth from the cabin while the moon drenches the scenery outside.  Lovely descriptions to accompany the wistful feelings in this story.


Ty Pender - Kid and Haze?  Wow, this was creative.  Thanks for the cute videos and the baby goat pictures.  


MoulinP - Welcome to the story challenge.  Very glad you decided to come out and play.  I know how hard it is to hit the send button that first time.  Congratulations!  I chuckled at the conversation between the partners near the end of the story.  I especially liked this line. “After dinner walks are really overrated!”   Nice banter.  It sure is easy to be mad at someone when you think they are safe.  But once you realize they might be hurt, we remember how much our friends mean to us.  

Remuda - Cliff hanger, huh?  The beginning of this story is light and breezy, full of fun descriptions and good conversation.  You twisted it nicely at the end.  The last part of the tale is taut and full of tension.  Then just as I began to relax you added the crunch of a broken branch.  So what happens next?
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Mon Nov 02, 2015 6:43 pm

Ty Pender
Baaa -- cute and clever. Reminds me a little of another "kids" story from a few years back. Loved the accompanying images. Well done!

MoulinP
Welcome to the monthly challenge. This is so illustrative of their partnership -- bickering one moment, concerned the next, and ultimately back to business. Interesting that you gave Kid Thaddeus as a middle name, so wondering if Heyes' middle name is Joshua. I've never seen the parenthetical use of sounds before. Hope you join in again Nicely done!

Skykomish
You know I love this. Family ties are explored in an understated way, with lovely character exposition. Sarah is wonderful, and her apprehension and concern blossoming to acceptance is very realistic. Adore the scene of Jimmy and Heyes' discovering a mutual love of the stars, bonding through a time-honored interest handed down through generations. A very worthy continuation of your story. Brava!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Wed Nov 04, 2015 8:51 pm

Moulin P – Welcome to writing challenges! I really liked how you went back and forth between what Heyes and the Kid were doing. I could feel Heyes’ pain in that first section. So Thaddeus is the Kid’s middle name? I’ll have to look back at that discussion of why we think the boys chose Joshua and Thaddeus (no real answer to that one but it’s fun to guess). Not sure Curry would say Heyes couldn’t shoot the side of a barn since Heyes backs him up in a gunfight. Heyes says it about the Kid, but only in jest to get others away from thinking he is the Kid Curry. I’m not a fan of the words and description in parentheses when Heyes gets to the top and falls again. I think you could work it into actual dialog or write as description. For me, it was a distraction. Maybe it worked for others. True to the episodes, the boys might get mad and frustrated with each other, but at the end they are there for each other. A really good first challenge (wish my first had been that good)!\

Skykomish – Oh, a continuation of your story with the Heyes brothers! Loved how Heyes had to confront Sam Ackerly, but the Kid was right there in the shadow to cover his partner. Love this line - “Your friend Matt Watley is one sharp and suspicious sheriff. Not our favorite kinda lawman.” Love how Heyes has a family now with nephews and a niece but how Curry is the one more comfortable with them. Great how you made Sarah the very protective parent – I would be, too, if my hubby brought a famous outlaw brother home for dinner. And, of course, the boys win Sarah over. Going to check the story on fanfiction.net. Is it completed?

Remuda – Great descriptive writing and very visual! The wind whipping around with the chill in the air – brrrr… Heyes as a professional cook? Ah, wise man. “Bang!” must mean Curry shot something for dinner. Oh, oh! Voices… that’s not good! Where’s the Kid? LOTS of shooting stars! Another oh, oh! And a cliffhanger? I sure hope you finish this on the double.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Thu Nov 05, 2015 7:52 am

To answer your question, Penski...  Sorry, but the story is not yet complete.  No

I do promise to keep plugging away at it though.  writing
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Fri Nov 06, 2015 6:58 am

MoulinP - First of all, a big welcome to the forum and an even bigger WELCOME on your first challenge!   sm Poor Heyes!  Ah, so this is the source of Mr. Jones' first name.  Oh!  More howling coyotes!   wolf  Also, liked the quick switches between the Heyes scenes and the Curry scenes.  Made it feel as if everything was really happening all at the same moment.  Very enjoyable!  cowboyclap  


skykomish - Very descriptive writing, skykomish.  I like the glowing tip of the cigar bobbing as the man walked.  cigar  This story is really VERY good!  I am drawn to your characters.  I definitely need to find where you are posting this story and enjoy it more fully. two thumbs

Remuda - This was a very exciting and enjoyable challenge, Remuda.   excited I am now waiting impatiently for the continuation! study
Calico - Awww!  I'm sorry you've been busy as a cat chasing her tail lately,  cattail but it's good to know you've not lost your interest in the fellas or your sense of humor!   jocolor Miss you!

A note on the coyote howl - A couple of you have asked about the significance of the howling coyote in my challenge.  It was meant to serve more than one purpose.   1.  It was supposed to give my October challenge a spooky feel, like the cuing of Twilight Zone music (doo,doo,doo,doo,doo,doo,doo) sends a little chill down your spine.   2.  I thought using the emoticon made a fun little scene break.  3. The howl of the coyote is also a nod to "the coyote," who occasionally likes to prowl, especially during the Howl-oween season. ;) wolf

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PostSubject: Baaaaaaaaaa.....   Tue Nov 10, 2015 7:16 am


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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Thu Nov 12, 2015 1:08 pm

Rosie Annie - You're writing again and first outta the gate for November's challenge!  Really loved this piece with the generosity, thanks, prayers, and Bible readings.  Did you pick Preacher just for that reason or for another reason?  Never pictured him a cook, but why not.  It worked in your story.  Thanks for the good read!   study

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Sun Nov 15, 2015 12:13 pm

Moulin P - what a clever premise! Of course Kid had to learn that it was dangerous to be alone in the house with the ladies. Nice that our boys actually got paid, and by Harry Briscoe of all people! "No job is too big or too small." Delightful story!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Sun Nov 15, 2015 12:18 pm

Aww Rosie...they took pity on a poor pioneer family. Love seeing Preacher in a story too. :0 applause

Moulin...I liked the novel idea of collecting the coupons. And of course...Harry was back.
applause

It's really interesting how we all have different ideas on the title. I think that's why the challenge has continued for so long.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Mon Nov 23, 2015 7:59 am

Mistress Maz: "It has a dial. Of course I can open it." Oops! In all your reading, Hannibal, didn't you learn that hubris was the downfall of the gods? Don't know if this is the setup for a longer story, but if it is, I'd say hubris a.k.a. arrogance would be the setup (the banker and Heyes) and their downfall would be the story. Thanks for this thought-provoking story, Maz!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Mon Nov 23, 2015 12:33 pm

Moulin P. - Coupons, huh? Well, it sure worked for this challenge! I wasn't sure how it would work out and you did a mighty fine job showing me how. Loved how the boys used their dimples and good looks to get what they wanted. Heck, they would have gotten my bad coupon back! Fun story, but that was a guarantee with good ol' Harry Brisco. Thanks for the good read!

Maz - Nothing is safe in a safe if Hannibal Heyes is nearby! Loved how they infiltrated the banks and guards to see what was going on - so clever! Seems like all of your challenges lately could be expanded into a full-blown story. You're good! Wonderful challenge!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Tue Dec 01, 2015 6:50 am

Penski: The best-laid plans, huh? Sometimes even a Hannibal Heyes plan can't account for random, unexpected events. I like the mental image of Kid pacing back and forth and reflecting that Heyes did that, not him.

Ty Pender: I didn't get it until I clicked on the youtube links. Oh boy! Reminded me of the classic scene around the campfire in "Blazing Saddles." Funny stuff!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Tue Dec 01, 2015 9:22 am

Here I am. Still at work, but I have a little tea in front of me and it’s fairly quiet – so here we go with the comments. Slurp.

1) RosieAnnie

Ah, don’t we love to see the boys hunkering down for the winter? And we all lurve Preacher. Whoo-hoo – a mention of the Donner Party! I visited the place! They didn’t know enough about the Donner Story – they didn’t know “never to take no cut offs!!” Smile.
Am loving Preacher wearing a path of worry on the wooden floorboards.
Awwww – all safely gathered in, and our boys are angels in disguise. Of course, it is a very good disguise.


2) MoulinP

A silly story – I like silly. Harry Briscoe? Hurrah. Money off coupons??? Head falls in hands. What a pain they are – never for what you actually want, and if they are – you left ‘em at home.
Loving the… With a capital Trou! Smile.
Also loving the boys turning in unison when HB offers to pay them.
Careful, Kid – the Mayor’s wife might have a daughter.
These bad experiences Kid has been having with the ladies – was it us??


3) Maz

The best safe money can buy??? Hmm. If only there was some clue as to the upcoming plot. Now, one of those moustaches could be Kid’s … But you couldn’t do that to Heyes!
You did! You caterpillared him.
Loving HH’s tactful description of the Kid.
OH! It’s a Pierce and Hamilton ’78. The famous one. Produce the vacuum pump.
Nice, Maz.


4) Penski

Poor old Heyes and the gang, all snowed up. Dang second posses! Glad to see they are all safely gathered at the end. Very pacy, Penski.


5) Ty pender

Dad’s Army?? Don’t panic! Don’t panic!
A gatling gun. Ooh – I don’t like to think of Kyle and the rest playing with that.
You give them a dangerous toy, then you get them drunk? What madness is this Ty?? Next you’ll be loading them in a gas balloon powered van and giving them bayonets! Or suspending them from windmills. Snirt.

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PostSubject: Dad's Army - Safely Gatherd In...   Tue Dec 01, 2015 7:14 pm

Dad's Army - Safely Gathered In...


I know..I know...I'm awf-ly excited as well.  Wonder how the new

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLEhGWIdWag

compares to the original...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a71PxWHm1HA

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Sat Dec 05, 2015 8:25 pm


hellowave   Whew!  I'm finally all caught up with reading Challenge stories.  sm   I had a year's worth to read study  so I'm not going to comment on each one but suffice it to say that they were wonderful and I thoroughly enjoyed them all.  applause  It was great to read stories by familiar writers as well as new ones.  yes   And now I look forward to getting back in the saddle, as it were, lol2   and commenting on the stories to come.  writing

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Sun Dec 06, 2015 9:03 am

RosieAnnie: I always enjoy Preacher in a story and got a real chuckle at the hardened outlaws submissively saying Grace. Is this the old 'if you don't like the weather, wait five minutes'? Lucky for the foolish travelers that they met up with outlaws who had hearts of gold. A nice, timely reminder about extending hospitality to those in need.

MoulinP: For someone who had a hard time with the prompt, you sure came up with a clever doozy of a story! I especially liked Heyes' chin aching from too much smiling. Harry was very well depicted and, of course, historical notes are always fun to read.

Maz: So that's the story of the Pierce and Hamilton '78? Loved Heyes placating his partner with this line: ...equally essential part of the team.

Penski: Whew, this was fast-paced! Poor Heyes, despite being a careful planner, he couldn't foresee a second posse. Glad they all got homely safely.

Ty: A gatling gun in the hands of drunken outlaws is no laughing matter but your Youtube videos still drew a bunch of guffaws from me. I sure wasn't expecting that!


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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Mon Dec 07, 2015 6:29 pm

RosieAnnie - This is a lovely seasonal piece.  I enjoyed the interaction between the lost settlers and Heyes and Curry very much.  Loved how they had been deceived by a supposedly honest guide, only to be rescued by two fellas who are decidedly dishonest.  I enjoyed this story very much. Clapping hard.  

MoulinP - This is a fun challenge story.  I really appreciated the early marketing strategy run amok because of a printing error.  Harry was great.  Good job and a fun first challenge entry.

Maz - Oh Max, you evil thing, you are setting the dark-haired dimpled one up for a fall.  Anything with a dial as long as it is not a Pierce and Hamilton 78.  Very fun little tale, and the $50,000 will, of course, remain safely gathered inside the bank.

Penski - A second posse?  What a good idea!  I liked the reason for the delay of Heyes and his companions. Nice story.  I enjoyed reading it very much.

Ty Pender - Vodka, a Gatling gun, leaf blowers and babies learning about raspberries.  Well, it's definitely an eclectic and dangerous combination.  Fun multi-media "story."
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Fri Dec 11, 2015 12:31 pm

The last couple of weeks have been extremely hectic at my house so I was unable to finish reading November's challenges before the voting deadline. This did, however, save me from agonizing over which story should win my vote. I have enjoyed reading each of them. Thank you to all the writers. Keep writing! bal

RosieAnnie - Your challenge gave me a warm cozy feel. How comforting that HH, KC, and Preacher would all willingly engage in Bible reading and prayer, and then even recognize their part in the carrying out of the Good Lord's plan!  We could all learn a lesson from your challenge to be "doers" rather than just "hearers."  Great story!  applause

MoulinP -  For not being able to think of an idea, you sure came up with an entertaining challenge!  This story was lighthearted and fun, and well written to boot.  Very enjoyable! wow

Maz -  Ah!  I wondered if perhaps....(don't wanna spoil it.)  May I just say that I know I am in the minority, but in my opinion Kid Curry sportin' a mustache is a sight to behold! Love this:

“And that’s why I’m the leader and you’re…”

Two blue eyes narrowed and he leaned forward, to rest his arms in the saddle horn. “I’m what?”

Heyes took a moment to consider his answer. “An equally essential part of the team.”


Pierce and Hamilton '78?!   safe


Penski -  Your challenge was short but very sweet.  Lines like this are sure to spark lively debate:  
Most of the posse had followed him as he intended.  That’s why he had his best riders come with him.


Mount Diablo?  Sounds like a tricky trail.  Two thumbs up on another well written challenge!  two thumbs


ty pender - Fun story, Ty.   sparkleshoe The you tube links added an element of unexpected delight, but when it comes to raspberries, I prefer mine like this:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/sandra-lee/raspberry-cooler-recipe.html?_escaped_fragment_=

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Thu Dec 17, 2015 1:25 pm

Rosie Annie - Wow, what a challenge! Loved all the little detail and the lovely message! So glad you're writing again!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Thu Dec 17, 2015 8:08 pm

Like Sister Grace, I don't seem to have time lately to join everyone on the asj Forum, but I would like to thank you for your very enjoyable stories.

Rosie Annie): What a lovely and brilliantly-written entry! I did enjoy it. Particularly liked Kid's saying he didn't know anything about crooks. Thanks for writing this very Christmassy tale.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Fri Dec 18, 2015 6:55 am

RosieAnnie - This was wonderful. Warm, cozy. Excellent closing line. Just plain perfect! wreath

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:39 am

I'm not able to visit often but I'm here today and I've just read your story Rosie Annie.

It's just perfect for Christmas  sm
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