Awestruck Comments

Just want to reassure Ranch Days fans that although I have tinkered with the plot of the final story it is nowhere near that time yet.

I do have a plan for what happens after they leave the Ranch which I hope you'll like.

And we know they'd split up for a while, so I was sure they'd have thought back to days at the Bar T.

Glad you liked it.

Penski: Aww. Excellent use of the prompt for a very sentimental story. I really like how the cookies at the beginning turned into Han's gift--I wasn't expecting that. And Jed's reminiscences of his family's holiday celebration were very bittersweet. Nice that Han realized how his cousin was feeling and was able to offer him comfort. Lovely ending with Han retelling 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. I'm glad you are continuing to provide us with glimpses into the boys' lives with Silky--thanks!

Keays: Well, this sure was the perfect prompt for you! Another bittersweet story, with Heyes reflecting on his life of the past five years. I could just picture him and Jesse sitting on the porch, talking quietly to each other. This is a really nice coda to Comings and Goings. This part was very touching: “You're being awfully melancholy tonight.” Jesse observed. “What's bothering you?” Heyes glanced over at his friend, and then back into his drink. “Five years.” He repeated. “Five years—wasted.” But the last line was a hoot!

Penski -- a true Christmas tale. I recognize the scenario from an earlier challenge. Will you be linking these and others into a longer story, perhaps? Very enjoyable with just the right emotional tug.

Keays -- I have to say that I am not fond of this emotionally damaged Heyes, but I recognize that it's the logical outcome of the TOF ordeal you put him through. Given that, I thought you wrote him well and the story certainly fit well within the month's prompt so congratulations. I hope those they are worried about make it back safely.

Riders - As others have said this is not a Christmas story, but I suppose if you were living that life it was - these things are no can happen at any time of year, regardless of the of the season. It was great to see how Kid got his name, and to see the characters still there and drawn in Kid's reactions and Heyes' support. I loved this line: "As Bart McCracken’s life slowly drained into the floorboards of the saloon"

Maz - I too wanted to know how the boys got into their current predicaments, so waiting hopefully for an update on that from you. It was good to see that you have more planned in the pipeline. Great take on the prompt

Penski - What a sweet Christmas story, full of memories of Christmas past, and those simpler times just not measuring up to the grand sophistication of the Christmas Ball. What a lovely seasonal read.

Keyes - Well this prompt was just made for you wasn't it? You must have thought Christmas had come early. It was good to see a light thrown on some of the positives of his time in jail.

Phew - Christmas is such a busy time, isn't it? Caught up at last though.


Storm - Poor grumpy Kid, it's just not fun sleeping on the cold, hard ground, is it? They may have moved on and got amnesty but their relationship is still the same. Good to see that some things never change.

Riders - As others have said this is not a Christmas story. I loved this line: "As Bart McCracken’s life slowly drained into the floorboards of the saloon." The great descriptive language in this helped to paint a picture for me, and etched the boys meeting a ruthless bully. They way Heyes comforted Kid was lovely.

Maz - Great take on the prompt but there were so many missing details I wanted to know more, but that's a sign of a good story, isn't it? You want more. Let's hope it doesn't take too long.

Penski - Ah, a lovely Christmas story and a great take on the prompt. That sophisticated Christmas just wasn't the same as spending time with their families. It was interesting that Heyes was more drawn to the grandeur than Kid. The little Christmas gifts were such a light, sweet touch

Keyes - Ah, yes. Did you request this prompt? Five years ago, but Jesse was quick to point out that he made some really good friends and survived. This was really made for your writing at the moment, wasn't it? Looking forward to reading the fuller version

Storm - Good to see that they stayed together after the amnesty and that their relationship stayed the same. Heyes just loves needling the Kid, doesn't he?

Riders - Great story. I loved this line: "As Bart McCracken’s life slowly drained into the floorboards of the saloon." Heyes comforting the Kid was so in character, and the way the Kid was forced to stand up to a bully was written in such wonderful descriptions I felt like I was watching an episode

Maz - I too can't wait to read more of this, as it raised so many questions. I'm very glad you have posted to say there's more coming

Penski - A lovely Christmas story and it reminded me of Nochebuena in Spain, with family gathering on Christmas Eve. Such wonderful simple gifts, where the thought behind them is worth more than the intrinsic value

Keyes - Loving the collaboration between you and Silverkelpie, you write angst so well, and I expect a complex mystery on top of that. The perfect mixture! This little snippet is just perfect for the prompt, and shows that Heyes is starting on the road to recovery as his understanding of what has he has gone through grows.

Keays - This excerpt shows clearly how Heyes is starting to accept what he's been through and learning to live with it. Perfect for the prompt :)

Very nice Christmas story HH and it fits nicely to the prompt as well. Heyes is such a cynic that he does need to be reminded once in a while that he has so much going for him and all he has to do is remember it.

Hanna Heyes - Very nice Christmassy story - perfect for this time of year. Glad someone(thing) reminded Heyes of what he DID have and to quit dwelling on what he didn't have. The amnesty was a great Christmas present! Wonderful story! :rendeer:

Fortitudine - A very powerful story, and very visual. I felt sorry for Josephine, but Heyes did the right thing I think. Wonderfully written.

HannaHeyes -- I like how you took parts of A Christmas Carol and made it your own -- combining the spirits of Christmas past and present, but not future because the future had not been written yet. Glad, too, that Heyes learned to appreciate what he had even before he knew about the amnesty.

Fortitudine -- you are such a masterful story teller. A somber tale indeed, and perhaps your heroine was happier with her choice than she would have been had she stayed around her feuding family. Good use of the prompt.

Fort; That was a sad little tale for this time of year. Still, I can see how Heyes would have carried that memory around with him for at least five years and probably longer.

Hola from Sunny Spain (well maybe not so sunny)

I'm online courtesy of the lovely Gringa, who has been most hospitable - and her family have kept my brood so busy, Hubby and I have had time to sit back and enjoy the festivals and sights of Madrid; so a special thanks to her. We've even had a time to sign in and have a chat about the stories while we rest our weary feet while the men go off for a drink! Such fun. I don't want to go home!

HannaHeyes - This very reminiscent of 'A Christmas Carol,' with the ghosts all rolled into one. Very seasonal, with the happy ending making for a great adaptation. I'd never thought of Heyes as Scrooge, but this really did work.

Fortitudine - What a sad story, but a great one. I can see why this story would have stayed with him for five years. The thought occurred to me, and Gringa, would he have let her stay with him if he hadn't been trying to go straight? A man with nothing to hide wouldn't have been so worried about someone suggesting he was a kidnapper, in fact, he might not even have thought about that if he wasn't trying to be squeaky clean. I love it when a story stays with me, like this one.

Remuda - It was very clever, the way you alluded to Heyes and Curry, without mentioning their names at all. This was a different type of story, but it works and shows the warm fuzzy the boys can leave behind them, just like they did in the series.

Remuda -- what a nice story, and very different -- never naming our boys but making it clear who the teamsters were with the quick references to the tied down guns, their lackadaisical work habits -- not liking work that's hard on the back, the poker, and their general attitudes. Also, speaking of names -- love the name Pharmer Dale.

Remuda: You captured the flavor of a dying town just right. The Dales are the sort of entrepreneurial spirits that formed the West; scratching out an existence against all odds. Your story put me in mind of Belmont, NV, an official ghost town in the Big Smoky Valley. It boasts a population of about 12 year-round residents, no phones (cells or otherwise), and the only business thriving is the Dirty Dick's Saloon. The Dales would fit right in!

Remuda; Indeed and very different type of story but you caught the feel of a dying town really well, and of this family who chose to stay put and make the best of things. The fact that you did not name names but we all knew that it was our boys who brought the wagon to town, just shows how well we all know them and their traits.

Remuda - This was a nice story as others have said. Loved the name Pharmer Dale! Also loved how we knew it was Heyes and Curry even though you never came out and said it. A well written, lovely story of a ghost town in the making.

Calico - Loved how you started out with the 'present day' boys getting amnesty and kept going back five years until you got to their childhood. Enjoyed reading their resolutions for each period. One of my favorite parts was when Heyes told Kid hat he wasn't Kyle and not to pretend to be that dumb. Really like your style of writing!

Inside Outlaw - I really enjoyed this story and Heyes's musings throughout. I liked how it finally dawned on him that they had hurt the ordinary people of the towns they robbed. I really liked when he broke down and prayed and then Kid was okay the next morning. A Christmas miracle...Very well written.

Calico; This was quite an undertaking, showing the boys going back in five year leaps and all the New Year's resolutions that had come and gone. A sad story actually, even though they got their amnesty but maybe now, five years further on down the road they will look back at this New Year's and see it as the turning point to happier times.

InsideOutlaw; Really could feel the desolation, not only of the deserted town they found themselves in, but of Heyes' mood in general. He must have been feeling pretty low and scared too of loosing his friend there on Christmas Eve. Very moving story and again takes a look at the consequences of some of their actions and choices made.

1) Storm
Ah, Heyes gently prodding Kid and wonderful scenery, who could ask for more? Awww – amnesty came through five years back and, in passing, we learn Kid has a new baby!! Sniff!

2) Riders
Ooooh…Life flashing past flashback – or five years back flashback anyhow!
Shot a man for spilling beer, huh? Must be a CAMRA enthusiast! (Only teasing!)
You got us well set up for a crisis here, Riders. Kid’s going to be backed into a corner to save Heyes?? And with the newspaper headline poor Kid now has the start of a reputation. Really well told tale, Riders.

3) Maz
You’ve been beating Kid up again, huh?
Olsen’s Mercantile? – Hey are we in ‘Little House…’ territory?
Oh, I see – our boys are apart and both thinking back to the Ranch Days. Sniff. I ADORE the ranch days!!!
Sigh. Too brief. Still – always leave ‘em wanting more, huh, Maz??

4) Penski
Ah, our young boys looking down at the champagne drinking at the party and wishing… Hey, anyone else get a sudden ‘Sound of Music’ warm fuzzy?
Oh gosh. I think the fuzzies are about to go into overdrive – we’re going back to a family Christmas. Sniffle – the star coming out for the tree will always get ‘em.
A slingshot! Is it mad you are, Sean Curry??!! Ping! Splat!
Yup. Agree with HH getting the traditional pocket knife.
Oh Jed, you baked cookies with your own hands. I’m a-quiver here!
The night before Christmas story… Oh, Penski! You spoil us!!

5) Keays
Kittens? Snow? It’s beginning to look a tad like a Christmas story! Or maybe not.
Oh, I see – five years since Heyes went to prison.
I’m enjoying seeing Heyes and Jesse reminisce and reassure each other, Keays, but I suspect I’ve missed too much of the backstory to get it all.

6) Hanna Heyes
Is this the ghost of Christmas Past/Present creeping up on our Heyes??? Yeah!! He just introduced himself!!
A man is rich when he has a friend, Heyes. (Isn’t that ‘A Wonderful Life’? I love Christmas films.)
This Ghost sure is a wordy fella – has to be to out-talk Heyes, huh?
Wow! They got the amnesty Christmas Eve – good timing, Lom.
And now they’re delivering toys to orflings!! Christmas overload!! Beam, Hannah!!!

7) Fortitudine
Heyes has a stowaway. (I can think of a dozen likely culprits for that crime on this very board!)
Don’t go to Deadwood, Josie! Not if HBO had it even half right!
She died? Wasn’t expecting that.
Oh, Heyes. Riding out to bury her.
Great story, Forti.

8) Remuda
I’m hooked… Where is this Pharmer Dale story a-going???
Mmm – this army bigwig the two ‘strangers’ are working for – is it Colonel Harper??
I don’t know why that gave me a warm fuzzy, Remuda, but it did!! Love you letting us fill in the blanks.

9) Calico
What a triumph of word counting that was you old Bag-Puss! Don’t think we didn’t spot a touch of cheeky hyphenating though!!!

10) InsideOutlaw
I’m loving the line - population formerly zero, now two;
Oh, Heyes in regretful mode over a robbery five years earlier. I’m loving this.
Also adoring the line: ‘He wasn’t a pretty good bad man; he was an excellent one.’ This is clever stuff, Inside. Liking HH finding comfort in ‘praying’ even if it’s to no one.
Oh, and what a clever and touching last line

RosieAnnie - I love the subtle hints throughout as to why the lawyer was famous once before. I'm really looking forward to reading the rest of this! That last part was great! Wonderful writing.