Awestruck Comments

JOANN B: Nice addition, even if you didn't make it under the wire. I enjoy seeing Kid as the poker player for a change. Nice little role reversal there! And he's smart enough to ask about straights and flushes before he sits down! Too bad he lost, though.

INSIDE OUTLAW: Wow, you're speedy! Anyway, I like first person pieces, but they're tough to do. You have to get the voice just right. And I think you've done it here. Interesting that Heyes seems to be blaming himself for he and Kid becoming outlaws. You make Heyes' motivations for that reasonable and clear. Of course, now I'm wondering, is Sally out there somewhere, remembering her first love?

InsideOutlaw: Aww, poor Heyes. And poor Kid. I really like
stories that deal with why the boys decided to seek amnesty and this was
great. The description of the meal in the mountains was interesting--I
didn't know skunk cabbage was edible. The reminiscing about Sally was
very nice; I liked how you presented Heyes' thoughts. As always, he's
looking out for Kid so it makes sense that that would be his
motivation--or so he thinks--for going for the amnesty. Well done!

Joann B -- great start for getting back into the challenge mode -- keep it up. I guess clubs aren't the Kid's lucky suit, too bad diamonds were for his fellow player.

Inside Outlaw -- I think you do first person narratives very well. Interesting take that it was Heyes carrying the torch for his Sally, rather than the Kid. Great start to the month.

JoannB; Aww, poor Kid. The one time he takes a leap in the poker arena and he gets ousted. Obviously you understand the game and you played it well. Thanks for posting even though it is late. Actually you have incouraged me to post my story for 'No Good Deed....' I didn't post it originally because I hadn't posted the chapter yet from which it came and I didn't want to give too much away. But now that you've posted late, well I think I will too.

InsideOutlaw: I wasn't actually questioning your statement about skunk cabbage. I honestly didn't know it was edible. When I was a kid, I lived in a place where there was a lot of it around and I remember being told to leave it alone because it would smell. But thanks for the clarification and explanation!

Insideoutlaw...So Heys has been carrying a torch for Susan all these years huh? Nice take on the title. Clever!

nm...I love seeing fireflies but Ihave a feeling the torches Kid spotted spell trouble. Good snippet, I liked it

nm131: Welcome back! So great to see you here! This is a real effective story, moving very naturally from sweet childhood reminiscing to an understated understanding the danger presented by the lights. I really liked the ending, bringing everyone, characters and readers alike, back to reality. Hope there's a lot more on the way from you!

riders57: Good hook at the beginning--referring to Kid wanting to unholster his gun. Oh, a complement to your vignette on the other thread! I really like how you've fleshed the story out more here. The questioning is realistic and I enjoyed reading how the note to Wheat came about. The info about telephones in Denver was cool.

NM 131: How did you manage to do wistful and tense at the same time? Nice contrast of childhood memories with the harsh reality of the present.

RIDERS 57: I thought this sounded familiar for some reason, then I realized it's the Heyes/Curry precursor to your weekly challenge entry of Wheat's story. Clever! I like looking at one event with different eyes. The reader gets different viewpoints that can add richness and depth to a story. Me likey.

NM131 -- so glad you came back in -- hope to see more from you, especially if they are as good as this one was. The juxtaposition of the innocence of childhood against their desperate adulthood was wonderful. I too still love watching fireflies and remembering my childhood (and my childrens') spent catching them. Unlike you I have tons of them around (it seems the disappearance of our bats -- which I miss -- has been good for the firefly population around us).

I/O -- I'm glad you clarified the skunk cabbage. Like Ghis, I too grew up around lots of the stuff and recognize its olafactory similarity to its namesake -- so I was surprised to hear it was edible. In fact, I was surprised someone could get past the stench to even try eating it.

Good one Riders

The torch is passed.
I like the note they left too

Inside Outlaw - I always like stories that expand upon the decision to go for amnesty. This was a nice edition to that subject as well as giving us a somewhat melancholy look into Heyes' past. Good take of the "carrying a torch" theme.

Riders57 The torch is passes into Wheat's grasping hands. I like the fact that they wanted to get in and get out of Devil's Hole undetected by anyone. Thought the note very in character for the boys. I also liked that Kid was sure at the beginning but becoming not so sure, his musings on the significance of the wanted posters, and the need for Heyes and Curry to bolster each other's resolve at the end. Riding away without a backwards glance took courage.

Finally starting June...

Inside Outlaw
Hmm...Quite the malodorous ending...LOL (we'll leave it at that!). Have to feel sorry for Wheat and Lobo there, though they got what they deserved. But then, they are outlaws and might not always totally comprehend, or at least give full heed to, the concept of "don't touch what isn't yours..."

Wonderful description of the filly in the opening paragraphs. You obviously know your way around a horse. Had a good chuckle at the lines where Kid just shakes his head when Heyes announces he has a plan for gentling the horse -- of course he does! Also really like the juxtaposition of "old hands break young horses." Fun story!

InsideOutlaw: Very nice continuation. Dare we hope for more, which you seemed to be implying? I like how you mix the sort of sentimental thoughts from Kid about Heyes with the practical matters at hand. This was a great line: Heyes and I were both wounded and had been for most of our lives; they just weren’t the kind of wounds you could see.

Inside/Outlaw; Another reflective story. I like those, it forces you to think about things the way someone else would view it--not just outselves. The events of that day certainly would be staying with our boys and both of them were wounded by them. It also shows the depth of the friendship between them and how strong that bond is. Very nicely writen.