Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ... April 22

Nghtwalker: This was fun :) Wasn't sure how I'd feel with a female Kid, but you nailed it. Really enjoyed this.

rachel_74_1 - Really enjoyed this snippet to your "After Amnesty". Yep, I can see where Lizzie might be mighty upset or thrilled to death to have a sibling. Agree that Kathleen and the Kid should tell her together. Very enjoyable read.

Nightwalker

I like the imagination you put into your story.
A mind game how it would be if Kid would be a woman asks a lot of flexibility from a reader.
But you concentrated on the main character traits, combined with his typical fair hair and blue eyes.
The attempted rape is believable, I guess there were enough men who couldn't handle a self - confident woman during that time.
Young Heyes, getting acquainted with his growing manhood, acted like an asshole (sorry for the language). No empathy for a woman who is constantly at his side, and he really has to learn to keep his mouth shut. His realization of her beauty came a little late and his arrogance forbids to admit a mistake. A good reason for their splitting.
The story is interesting because it's written from Heyes' POV.
Altogether an unusual story, which forces the reader to look behind the picture aroused in his mind.

Rachel74

Nice presentation of a post amnesty life, in which you reveal there can occur other serious problems to deal with than bounty hunters, posses or rough outlaws.
I like how much thoughts are running through Kid's mind to find the best way or words to use.
He reveals a lot of sympathy for his daughter and isn't fond of a small, sulking girl... He has to figure out another tactic than to stare down his opponent.
I like Heyes' attempts to make him talk about what's bothering him and to cheer him up.

Penski: That was so very good. Loved it.

Well, well, a huge thank you to Penski who stepped in while I was being really, really poorly for nearly all of June.
I am back home from the horse-pital, but still a little shakey around the paws.


1) Nightwalker

Ohh, so we have a female Kid Curry on the patch, coming out of nowhere to reclaim Heyes after six years. Lots of dust swirling stand off action and atmosphere here, Nightwalker.

2) Rachel

Settles down for a little post amnesty tale. Another little bundle of joy for the Kid, huh? C’mon Kid, you can break that news.


3) Penski

Didn’t something awful bad happen in Wichita? Maybe not that cattle drive, boys?
So, we have Heyes looking for a double of his?
And, our poor boys being wistful about every being able to settle with families of their own. Awww.

4) Kid4ever

Awww – Kyle has got himself all gussied up for a night out. Squeaks with excitement – he has a special girl. And he’s a daddy. Shucks Kid4Ever – this is all touching.
Dear Kyle, consider us all wishing you all the very best.


5) Nm131

Oooh dear, childbirth emergency. Poor Heyes and Alicia. And dear Kid, being a tower of strength for Heyes. That was sad, sad, sad.

oh nm- that was heart breaking and beautiful. Poor Heyes and Alicia.
Kid4Ever: Go Kyle :) enjoyed this.

June stories:

Nightwalker: What a clever idea, to rewrite the character as a woman! That does lend an entirely new aspect to the relationship, as well as open up all sorts of story angles. A 19th century woman, trying to live her life as she sees it, not necessarily as society wants her to behave. Even with Heyes, who is part of the 19th century thinking -- lay back and enjoy it, not understanding what rape is.

rachel_74_1: I like seeing Curry as a concerned dad, who thinks through the issues of fatherhood. And Heyes, seeing the problem from his viewpoint, and realizing that his viewpoint really isn't the way to see the situation. Still friends, still there for each other.

Penski: Now Heyes is the one who's helping the needy people! I can see all sorts of complications ahead, if the absent Mr. Harding really does resemble Heyes so well. If Mr. Harding has gotten into trouble of some sort, our newly-amnestied ex-outlaws could be in a world of hurt.

Kid 4ver: Aww, Kyle was motivated to clean up! And the town is named Redemption? Appropriate for an outlaw who's planning to become an ex-outlaw. I'm hoping there's happy ending to this story.

NM131: I do enjoy your Yellowstone series, and this story is a worthy addition to it. It is very sad, and it is realistic. Childbirth is a precarious adventure for every woman, especially before the late 20th century, and even more so for an older mother. Thanks for all the background information, too.

Penski

I like the basic, realistic idea of your story.
A mistaken identity confronts Heyes with the role of a father ; a responsible and important part in the life of a child... And he observes how much pain a missing father can cause.
Even if Heyes can't handle children as good as Kid does, that doesn't mean that he cannot be a fine Pa. Whether he likes to hear it or not...
I like that the experience they made leads them to a further conclusion... For the time being the restless Heyes can't imagine settling down or having a family of his own. And as long as he doesn't want to, Kid won't either.

A comprehensible, but sad truth... That's ASJ reality during their quest for amnesty.
Thoughts about becoming a father. Good idea for the prompt.

Kid4ever

What a sweet story with Kyle as a main character.
He sure can be lucky with Maizie waiting a year for him to come back - a lot could have happened within a year.
Who would have thought he would spend his money to support a dancing girl instead of drinking and losing all in games of chance or poker?
She could have told him anything... But I'm glad his investment turned out to be as it is.
Your sentence "still waters are deep" is certainly fitting for him.

Lovely to learn something about Kyle's background. And I wonder how he looks like all cleaned up. Probably a different matter altogether.
Good scene with Kyle approaching Kid - it's believable that Kid instituted a rule not to bother him while he watches Heyes or to interrupt their leader during his poker games. That's a way to keep respect.
I love to imagine how Heyes' smug grin fades with Kyle's question "do you know, as a leader, that Maizie had a baby?" Getting right to the point, that's how we all know Kyle from the series.
Kyle's wish to leave the DHG might be understandable but time will come when their money is spent....

The prompt "father" immediately triggers 'home' and 'baby', so well implemented.

nm131

Wow, what a moving, intensively written story, which started so innocent!
I like the controverse way you create their post-amnesty life. On one side the Curry's, blessed with a bunch of children. Kid is a family man, no doubt about it.
Kirsten Curry is practically minded and good in organizing things....very helpful in this situation.
On the other side Heyes with his intellectual wife, completely pleased without children.

I like the way you increase the tension. With the sentence
"He readily discerned that the one thing he was always waiting to hear with nervous anticipation when he was the expectant father, was conspicuously missing. The vigorous wail of a newborn child."
the gripping part of the story begins...
Very good the description of the scene we witness through Kid's eyes. You included a lot, not only relying on persons, pictures or dialogs, but for example on the oppressive heat and darkened light to emphasize the atmosphere. Well done!

The plot enables you to point out the still close, or even over the years increased relationship between Heyes /Curry.
I love the idea that Kid is the one person Heyes does not have to be strong for and that Kid is the only person on earth he lets see his unshielded soul.
This is really something special. Even the strongest person isn't always strong. But so true to Heyes' character he would ever openly accept that.

A moving scene with Heyes holding the baby. Again, you manage to put a lot hidden emotion into it,
"Heyes retreated a few steps away. His mind was retreating further. She reached out for his hand and realized he was too far away." Much room for interpretation! Excellent.
Marvelous to see there's a strong friend, who keeps Heyes grounded and reminds him in time what the next task at hand is.

Another great sentence to create atmosphere is
" to wait patiently for the small talk, platitudes and lies that we tell ourselves at every funeral to peter out."
Some things aren't meant to be - but we have to accept and live with them. Despite that there can happiness. The only problem is we know what we have lost... To be a father can be beautiful or painful. Very good implementation of the prompt.

At the end you use a wonderful, and so important adverb, which reminds me of a series I appreciated a lot....
The meaningful word "always".
My apologies for being a bit wordy! It's good I don't have to count words...

Only just managed to catch up with this month's stories.

Nightwalker: Certainly an unusual idea to have a female Curry but an enjoyable read nonetheless.

Rachel741: Cute, Kid worrying about how his daughter will take to the idea of another family member. I could visualize the scene.

Penski:        Seems like Heyes has a double somewhere! Nice open ended story.  Made me want to know “what happened next”.  Will  
there be a continuation?

Kid4Ever:      A sweet tale, Kyle discovering he’s a Father and planning to get married.  I look forward to reading the rest of it at some point.

nm131:        What can I say.  It’s not often a story makes me cry but yours did. Beautifully written. Loved it.

Nightwalker- - You have the personalities down even with the switched genders. With the young Heyes' confidence that crossed the line into male arrogance, it's no wonder Kid didn't shoot him (just a little bullet breezing by a prized part of his anatomy). Clever AU but you have a talent for a creative way of looking at things.

racheal_7_41 - I really like your after amnesty story. Kid's concern is a valid one, especially when it's a stepmother having the addition to the family. I find it funny and nice that Heyes is giving fatherly advice even if he is laughing while he's doing it.

Penski - - I liked your story about mistaken identity for Heyes and how it gets to him. Of course, they are going to Atlantic City to look for him or at least send definitive word. However, I especially liked the names- is every little boy is ASJ named Tommy? I'm going to have to watch from the beginning and take a count. And it's a long journey to AC in my part of the country, I'm sure the poker is good, Heyes would have his pick of casinos.

Kid4ever - Aah, Kyle as a father, setting down in a little yellow house with a picket fence is just too cute. What's Wheat going to do. Maizie seems like a pretty special gal just right for Kyle. I hope we do get to read the continuation.

nm131 - Loved this summery challenge of the boys being able to take a vacation by the Gulf with nothing to do but fish and relax. You set up the story very nicely for what was to come. I was with Heyes and Curry, though, wondering who recognized them this time. Gulls! Those birds are crafty and resourceful. Loved the notes at the end of the story - fun to learn while being entertained. Very nice challenge!

1) Hello there NM our current bandanny holder… Have the boys been good? Good.

Oh dear, I think your description of a sleeping Kid Curry partially losing his sheets has caused several Curryettes to drool into their face masks.

This is making me feel very wistful. I wish I had a break by the seaside coming up. Maybe next year when things are even more ‘back to normal’. Sigh. Dear Kid, like him I still build sand castles - does he love just poking about in rock pools with a stick too.

Now, I am guessing – only guessing – that the gulls may somehow be responsible for the banging?? Hammering a lobster claw on the roof?? They’ll have your sandwich out of your hand you know.

YES

How lovely for the boys to have a proper Noliday … I enjoyed that.




2) Penski

Hello faithful possessor of a patchwork coat of many colours – all shades of yellow


That Porterville Bank is just catnip to outlaw gangs, isn’t it?
Boys, you are going to have to save the day … all together … ONE MORE TIME.

Oh, well done Miss Porter.

Lom, we love you. Come Sherriff this!

Loving the scene switching between inside and outside the bank. And will McCoy ever remember where he knows Heyes from?

Awwwwww!!! All four heros!!! Awwwww. That was so satisfying.

NM131: What a nice interlude for our boys! Lucky for Curry he's only bronzed and not burnt. And what a clever twist for the prompt -- not only did I appreciate the surprise, but I laughed at it. You took me for a very pleasant ride! And thank you, also, for the background information.

Penski: I like that there were several heroes! Good old Lom organized an in-town posse, and Curry led them into the bank. And Miss Porter kept a cool head.

Really enjoyed these two July stories.

Penski - - Thanks for giving us several hero's of the latest great Porterville Bank robbery. I could definitley see Miss Porter acting as you wrote. I especially liked the running humor of McCoy trying to figure out who Heyes was throughout the story. Good think he never did(yet).

LOL! You should have listened to your instincts.

I almost ended the story with it being a few months later and McCoy is pacing a Wyoming Territorial cell. He snaps his fingers and says, "I know who you are... You're Hannibal Heyes and that had to be Kid Curry who shot me!"

The above is a GREAT ending.

Dear faithful Penski.
One lonely little challenge. Ah, Five bullets in Kid’s gun just so he doesn’t shoot his toe off by accident – I do like these little details.
And a mixing the names up joke – bless.
Is it twins?? Nah, Sherlock says it is never twins … but, is it twins, Wilbur and Willard?

Very clever … waiting for them to find out they have a Deputy in tow.

Separated twins – just like dear Shakespeare.

Awww, awwww, aww, they are going to run a livery with Wilbur’s cut. Awwwwwww.
That was so nice and funny.
Clapping hard.

Penski: Really good play on the prompt. I love family reunions, especially when Kyle is involved. Fun story!

Penski - A really fun story. Clever idea to have Wilbur and Willard as twins. Perfect for the prompt.