Awestruck Comments

Yope - Congratulations on jumping in and posting your first challenge story with us, and what a good one it was. You sprayed Heyes with skunk juice! Well it's good to get him down off that high horse every now and again. $40 a skunk was a great bonus. He must have been plagued with the beasts! What else could he do with them? Would anyone wear a skunk coat? This was a lot of fun, I do hope you keep playing with us.

Thanks, everyone, for your reviews! I plan to edit it a bit more after Kid4ever brought up some things. :-) Thanks, Kid! The revised story will be posted on my fanfic account when it's done.
Sk, yeah, poor Heyes! Ain't I a stinka?

NOW, to get caught up on reviewing before the month is out. ;)

InsideOutlaw: I loved the banter between the boys. I was laughing while reading the part where Kid kept going on and on. Love the aliases too! A really fun, well-written story! I liked it so much, I read it two nights in a row.
My fav lines,
"Morris, does he always talk this much?"
"Only when he's not inhaling."
I also liked how Heyes kept Paulson from cheating them.

RosieAnnie: Yay! Harry Briscoe fanfic! (Is it just me, or does he remind you somewhat of Maxwell Smart too?) You had everyone completely in character! I could almost see that "innocent" look on Heyes face when he's putting one over on someone.
I really liked the line,
“Lots of Texans, too. Lucky me. I’ll probably die of heat prostitution before six months are out.”

“I think you mean prostration, Harry.” Heyes said.

“If you’re ever in Galveston, visit my grave.”

Thanks for commenting, sistergrace! They did indeed know it was a dog following them, I just did that to keep the reader from knowing until the end.

Remuda: I'm glad you've decided to continue your story of the children Han and Jed getting separated. There is a sweetness, and a sadness, in this chapter that really touch me. Cadger Bruce could have been a very dangerous man, but he seems to have some sympathy for this lost child. I hope he turns out to be something of a friend or guardian for the young Jed, because a child alone is easy prey for real bad guys. And, of course, I'm hoping that Han and Jed will be reunited before too long.

Remuda - I love the way this is written. Very visual. Cadger seems like a nice enough guy, but still... Looking forward to when Jed finally finds Han. Great job!

Remuda: Very nice challenge! (I'll have to read the one you mentioned came before this) I really enjoyed it! I hope Jed is reunited with Han soon. I wonder about Cadger Bruce though...hmmm...

Remuda -- great story with which to wrap up the month! I'm glad you're continuing this series and look forward to finding out how and when Han and Jed reunite -- how many years will it take? Yet another meaning of the word "bounty." I like the use of eye color in this -- it brings an intimacy to the story and is quite visual, makes the readers see it as if they were a ghost watching the events unfold before them. Well done!!

Remuda - Aw, poor wee Jed still hasn't found Han, and somehow he seems much more vulnerable on his own, and the dialogue captures that fragility so wonderfully. 'Cadger' is a terrific name. Does that still mean a 'beggar' in the USA? There were lovely touches of history too. I didn't realise that there was a bounty paid to join up - money will always bring out the mendacious! Especially when there's such poverty around. Clapping at how much you got into this through wonderfully realistic dialogue.

Yope (overspill) - Great tension building - all for a little, fluffy dog! Lovely twist, and right in character for the boys. Kid just can't help looking after the needy little critter, can he?

fiú! Finally catching up on my reading. The month itself was bounteous!

InsideOutlaw - This was full of great conversations, wonderful aliases, and a terrific plot. I loved the lines: "Does he always talk this much?" "Only when he's not inhaling." I loved those story.

Rosie Annie - I always thought it was great when Harry was around. He brought out another edge to the boys, sort of protective (for both) and a bit of scheming too. This story captures this perfectly and was terrific fun. Great line, "I’ll probably die of heat prostitution..."

Yope - Skunks! I didn't know why they were hunting them, but I had a lot of fun reading about it. Was it for the fur? I loved the mental image of his horse not liking the smell and running in circles to get away from him - now wouldn't that just sort out the real fans from the lightweights? This was a lot of fun and a great first challenge story.

Remuda - This was a very melancholy little tale, with very evocative dialogue bringing out the child's fear and uncertainty. This exchange was both sweet and tinged with little Jed's fear:
“Han.”

Cadger smiled. “And ya thought my name was different.”

“Short for Hannibal.”

“No wonder he goes by Han.”
Clapping

Overspill Stories

Yope - I sort of guessed something needy was following them because there was a light feeling to the story, but that didn't ruin the fun at all. This was very easy to visualise and I bet the fluffy little dog had a short and very waggily tale when the Kid kept feeding it. It did in my head anyway! Great fun!

1) Sistergrace
Yeah, yeah! It’s the pilot – that makes everyone’s favourite list.
And a childhood flashback – also makes at least MY favourite list. Clever, clever Sister G. Liking the play on jumping ship.

2) Hannaheyes
Ooooh – they meet the OTHER fastest gun in the West.
Ah. Kid draws second – so he had the advantage. AND is compliant with ASJ rules.
Liking the "Heyes, you're still that cocky!" line. Interesting scenario HH.

3) Silverkelpie
Ah, circumspect. The old plays on words are always the best.
A painting of nature’s bounty – you clever clogs with a prompt you. And we’re assured it’ll all be done in the best possible taste.
Will he paint her naked? No – he’ll keep his socks on.
So – this is a Silver story so some scam is under way. I don’t think any actual painting is underway.
The badger game. Hurrah. (Do the hustle!)
The boys get paid TWICE???!!! Have you not read the ASJ fanfic rules????

4) Maz
A liddle puppy dawg!!! Oh Oh!! That’s not playing fair Maz. Is you a good boy? Is you clever? Is you bewdful? AWWWWWWWW!!!

5) Gringa
You know what I’m beginning to suspect – because the phrasing is kinda careful – I think the Bounty Hunter is after the landlady. IF that is so – very, very cleverly done suspense wise because I’m many paragraphs in!!! YES!!! So many folk called Smith!! Oh, liking the last line VERY much Gringa!

6) AllegraW
Ah, one of you gals has them all trussed up again. Is this prior to having them washed and brought to your tent?
Loving HH having persuaded their bounty hunter to run and get help.
Now loving the bluffing!! Don’t hurt Jake though – I’m feeling all maternal towards the poor goop. Gosh – Heyes just invented the L’oreal advert. Loved it Allegra – so simple a story, but so well told.

7) Ghislaine Emrys
I can see Heyes being a spelling bee! Very nice opening Ghis – makes you want to read on. Yup, I think HH would say nevertheless. He likes words. (Though the odd ‘Deadwood’ ‘anyways’ might alternate!)

8) Penski
Pilot echoes again!! Big Tick!
Ah, Heyes – y’know how you hate it when folk gloat over you? Did it not occur that the reverse might be true? So, Penski’s take on ‘Why they’re worth it’ !! Clever, clever Penski!

9) Riders57
Bligh??? Do we have another Mutiny on The B echo???
He let his cook PEEL potatoes???!!! Wild extravagance – the peel is where the goodness is.
Pitcarin??? I raise my eyebrow, Riders.
Awww – this Fletcher knows them. IF he is really coming.
You mistress of multiple mutiny allusions, you!

10) Cornelia May
Orflings!!! Ahah! Mind you – they do complete against liddle puppy dogs this month!
Shades of Return to Devils Hole, Cornelia – and we always like an episode echo!!
Well, I think we guessed who was looking for them. But, awww – bless. Nice.

11) InsideOutlaw
Hauling a safe? Do Heyes whiskers twitch as at the whiff of catnip?
We have a mogul growling ‘Br.r.r.ring me the head of H.h.h.annibal Heyes.’ There’s a film in there!
Loving Kid making a meal of adding detail to how Heyes shot himself.
And a safe-gasm scene. What is not to like.
These poor old railway men are getting a dang bad press this month.
Dear HH leaving a note – so like him.

12) RosieAnnie
Harry!! Huzzah! Our favourite guest star.
Oh – your note on the quicker picker upper. Shakes head in disbelief.
Loving the boys confirming they can be bought.
They manipulate Harry so well – this is good episode like stuff, Rosie.
Poor old Galveston – is it really so bad?

13) Yope1995
Oh, I love the thought of hunting skunk for bounty. I guess it’s safer than mountain lions! Wonderful audibles from inside the shack.
Poor Heyes.
But those poor little loveable Pepe Le Pews… He didn’t want them alive?? So… Gulp.

14) Remuda
Oh yes. I like this post runaway saga.
Poor nervous Jed. You do dialogue so well.
Oh, sniffle, he’s dreaming of home.
Oh,clever Remuda – the civil war bounties.
And the way Cadger is giving a future echo of our boys running and hiding and hoping for amnesty. Clever, clever. Very good.

Caught up with the reading this month. Phew. There is hope for me...

Riders 57
A double whammy of mutinous stirrings on the Bounty - Pitt Cairn??? and Kit Fletcher or Fletcher Kit??? A Mutineers Saloon, and a Bligh to name but a few wonderful allusions to the original Bounty Mutiny. Loved it.

Cornelia May.
An almost bounty maybe but she's just good friends instead - Phew. Heyes made me chuckle when asking about whether there was a back door and being told it's in the back. Now, now - sarcasm Nice story!

Inside Outlaw
A super read from start to finish. I love it when Heyes gets all scheming and devious. And an impossible to break safe? - well, that's as irresistible as our two boys are. Loved it all the way through.

Rosie Annie
Nice beer banter at the start...in fact, nice banter all the way through. The mind boggles at Harry Briscoe training would-be bounty hunters. Actually, thinking about it - it it would have been fun to watch! LOL However, Heyes is more sensible and pulls the rug from under his feet before any trouble can be made. Better that way, huh! Super stuff.

Yope 1995

A first story? Well done you and poor old Heyes learning the hard way about the dangers of skunk bounty hunting. Kid is as helpful as ever but we wouldn't expect anything less now would we. Very amusing.

Remuda
Jed on the run and he's lost Han. Not good. Like the way you portray the dialogue and interaction between man and boy. Tell me, did you deliberately take that name for the man, because the name alone makes him seem slightly sinister to me and I wondered if that was deliberate? Cadger as in 'Catch ya!' and, when you're on the run - caught is not what you want to be. Turns out he's friendly though and one wonders who is comforting who with their presence by the end. Clever.

By the way Calico - Clever Cat!

It WAS the L'oreal advertisement which gave me the bunny for my challenge offering this month! Who'd have thought Heyes worked for them huh?

Catnip for you LOL

Remuda: I really enjoyed all the historical notes in this story--they were incoroporated into the plot very well. Poor Jed, but he kind of lucked into having a decent companion on the train who sort of tried to help him. Interesting possible plot point about Philadelphia, perhaps??? Favorite lines: “Short for Hannibal.” “No wonder he goes by Han.”

Cornelia May - Well done on posting your first story, it's nerve wracking, isn't it? As others have said, I hope you continue with this as I want to know about the mysterious woman. I loved these lines:

"This place have a back door?"

"Yeah, it's in the back."


InsideOutlaw - I'm so glad this bunny hopped for you, because this was a lot of fun. I loved the line about him not talking when he was inhaling. I love the banter about the leg injury too. Of course he was going to break into the safe. Isn't it odd how they have all us law abiding folks rooting for the criminals? I could get very attached to those heads too

Rosie Annie - The quicker-picker-upper, eh? I get the feeling that if Harry was running the place it would be more a case of ever decreasing circles. You really nailed Harry and his relationship with the boys in this one. I did love the Hannibal Heyes scheme in this and how they got him to see some sense.

Yope - Another first challenge story and another goodie. Skunk hunting! I loved the 'visual' of Heyes' horse objecting to being ridden by someone smelling like that. That was quite the bounty they were offered. Living over the pond I've never actually smelled 'essence of skunk.' I know it only by reputation.

Remuda - Cadger Bruce is such a great name. You painted a picture of a scared little boy so well in this, using terrific dialogue and evocative scene setting. Such a bittersweet piece, so beautifully crafted.

Yope -Overspill - Great tension building, the desperation of the chase catching the reader, and then you throw in a little fluffy dog!? That has to be a winning combination in anyone's book.

Thank you to all for the lovely comments on my story, and I'm glad you liked the name, "Cadger Bruce." For those wondering as to its origin, some of you know I enjoy having a character's name fit a certain aspect or quality I imagine for him/her, or otherwise having it suited to the story in some way. In this case, I thought Cadger an Artful Dodger type, but didn't think "Codger" appropriate: too old a nickname for a younger man. Then, thinking he might also be a bit cagey (or not), "cadger" sounded about right. Of course, as Silverkelpie pointed out, that's also a definition of "beggar," and although not exactly what I had in mind, I did take it into consideration and decided it might fit as well with a homeless drifter on the run, although hardly complimentary. And Allegra, I love your take on it, as his goal is not to be caught, but it's appropriate as well. Of course, we all take different things in a story as we will, and that's another fun thing about reading. Thanks again!

Since it's taken me a while to get to the Overspill stories, I'm only going to comment on the ones I haven't read before, since I will have commented on any re-posted stories previously.

Silverkelpie: Fun story; getting more interesting with every chapter posted. So Tibby is a muckraking journalist, huh? And the boys are gonna go undercover in his employ? Or, since it's you writing, maybe not. Will just have to wait and see where your convoluted mind takes them, and us!

Yope1995: Very cute story with a great twist at the end. You led readers along very well. Loved this line: "What do you reckon we oughta do then, oh wise and mighty thinker?" He asked sarcastically.