May 2023 - Crowning Glory

Clatters noisily through cat flap with tail a bog brush
And for a third time - Apologies for being late...

Without further ado, because a certain low key event with just a tad of history ... ( ??? 886, Edward the Elder ??) will be taking place this side of the Herring Pond...

Please bend your fertile Non-Monarchist minds to the (we all hope) flowing topic of;


Crowning Glory

Challenge May 2023
Busted and Crowning Glory

Hannibal Heyes sat on his bed in the older boys’ dorm at Valparaiso Home for Wayward Boys and thought about his meeting today with Dean Wm. Williams. Usually when he was called to the Dean’s office, and that was often, he was in trouble. He went over everything he’d done the last few days and couldn’t figure out what he’d done this time. He’d been on his best behavior after a day and a night in the dark closet, used for punishment.

He and his cousin, Jed, had gotten in trouble for stealing food from the kitchen. They stood in the hall outside the dean’s office for over an hour in full view of all the other boys going to and from their classes. They really didn’t care who saw them there. When they stole food, they shared it with their friends. Every boy there was always hungry, especially Jed.

In the office, they had to drop their pants and lean over the dean’s desk. He hit their bottom hard with a paddle with holes made to inflict pain. Heyes was proud of his younger cousin for not making a sound during the process.

“Now, boys, pull up your pants and face me,” Dean Williams growled.

It was painful pulling the fabric over their bleeding behinds but neither boy complained. Heyes was grateful he’d stolen a jar of salve from the nurse a few days before.

“Are you sorry for your actions?” the dean continued.

“Yes, sir, Dean Williams,” the boys said in unison.

“Well, the way you continue to break the rules, can’t say I see that you’ve repented. Jed, you may return to your classes.”

“Yes, sir.” Jed thought of the pain the rest of the day sitting at a desk.

“Hannibal, you will spend the rest of the day and tonight in the punishment closet. No food: you will find a pitcher of water and a glass in there. You will be released at noon tomorrow.”

Heyes trembled and his cousin moved to stand shoulder to shoulder with him.

“Jed, go! Heyes come with me.”

The dark closet was the thing of Heyes’ nightmares. During the day there was a strip of light at the bottom of the door but at night it was black darkness.

In the closet, he put the water and glass in a corner where he could find it in the dark. Then he sat on the short cot. He wrapped the thin, holey blanket around him and watched the lamp light under the door. He could hear footsteps as people walked by and sometimes they walked close enough he could see the side of shoes. He heard the boys filing to dinner and then returning to the dorms, knowing that the light would soon be gone. Hearing scratching, he looked and saw his lockpicks sliding under the edge of the door. Then someone hit the door twice. Grabbing the makeshift lock picks he had made slowly over the last two years, he felt better just holding them in his hands. Then the lamp lights outside were extinguished and he was in total darkness. Waiting until he no longer heard any movement, he felt along the wall until he found the door lock. It took him over an hour to open the door, but his mind was occupied, and the darkness stayed at bay.

Finally, click. He hid the picks in his boot and opened the door a crack. With the moonlight from the window, that was all he needed. He could see something wrapped in paper on the floor and found two biscuits. Jed had confidence that he would get the door open.

As the morning stirring of life reached his ears, he closed the door and locked it again.

And then only four days later, he was called to the dean’s office again. With his lock picks securely in his boots, he knocked on the dean’s door and was escorted into the office he hated.

“Mr. Heyes, how has your day been today?”

“Good, sir.” He wanted to yell that he didn’t do anything wrong, but he didn’t. Jed wasn’t here so that was good.

“I called you here today to offer you a fine opportunity.” The dean started leaning forward in his chair.

Heyes heart sank. Those words usually meant that an apprenticeship away from the school was about to be offered him. He would age out of the school in seventeen months so was a prime candidate for this. This was the fourth ‘opportunity’ the dean had tried to get him to take. He had refused them all, refused to leave Jed.

Heyes said nothing, forcing the dean to speak. “There is a private school in Hopeful that has offered to take a few of our most promising students. You would travel by wagon there on Monday morning, stay in their boys’ dorm and return Friday afternoons. This is a fine school. They can offer that curious mind of yours much more than we can.”

He had Heyes' interest. He was bored in all his classes and was still at the top of every class. But he asked, “Jed Curry, too?”

He watched the dean lean back in his chair and take a deep breath. He knew that meant no.

“Not Jed.” The dean had hoped that the excitement of this school might make Hannibal forget about being with Jed. It was important that Valparaiso send their best students to impress the teachers and staff at this school. It would open opportunities for more boys in the future. And, despite everything, Hannibal Heyes was the top student at Valparaiso.

“Then, sir, I respectively decline the generous offer,” Heyes said sadly.

“Hannibal, this is the chance of a lifetime for you. Over half of the graduates at that school go to college.”

“I’m not leaving Jed. I promised his ma. You said they would take a few.” He didn’t really promise Jed’s ma to take care of him here, but every time he and Jed went fishing, his aunt would tell him to take care of Jeddy. He intended to do just that.

“Then, Hannibal, I am disappointed, but we do have other boys here who would jump at this offer. You are dismissed.”

So Heyes sat on his bed and thought about the offer he had turned down. He had no doubt he had made the right decision. He also decided not to tell his cousin.

ASJ*****ASJ

Three days later, Heyes and Jed again stood in front of Dean Williams’ desk waiting for him to speak. The dean silently reviewed his decision. Hannibal’s teachers had insisted that he was the best student to send to the private school. His academic progress was far ahead of any other boy in the school.

“Mr. Heyes, Mr. Curry, there is a private school in Hopeful that has offered to take a few of our most promising students. You would travel by wagon there on Monday morning, stay in the boys’ dorm and return Friday afternoon. This is a fine school. They can offer you much more than we can.”

Jed’s blue eyes grew large. He knew he was an average student excelling only in math.
But Heyes answered for them both. “We’d be pleased to accept, sir.”

ASJ*****ASJ

Jed found the new school challenging; still, he enjoyed the math classes. Heyes did so well on his admissions test he was moved up a full grade. Overall, they enjoyed the new school and there was one other benefit for Heyes. This school had girls!

Neither boy knew how to act around girls after being raised in the Home. On the ride home after the second week, they chose to sit in the back of the wagon so the driver couldn’t hear them.

“Heyes, I don’t know what to do about the girls in my class,” Jed whined.

“I like having girls in class.”

Jed screwed up his face. “One of them tried to kiss me when the teacher left the room and two others asked if I had a girlfriend. Ewee.”

“Well, I guess that’s the difference between you and me. I’m fourteen and you’re almost twelve. Wait a year and you’ll like the attention from girls.”

“Heyes, you see that girl, older than me, younger than you, with all her hair way up high on her head? Why does she do that?”

“That’s Jane Brown and that hair is the first thing you notice. She’s not really very pretty, is she? But fixing her hair that way gets her noticed. It’s her crowning glory.”

“You get that from a book…crowning glory?”

“Sure did. Might as well put this fine education to good use.”

ASJ*****ASJ

Early getting to school on Monday after the two-hour ride, the driver said he would go into the school office to see if there was any cargo for his return trip while they watered the horse and gathered their bags from the wagon.

“Jed, look there. There’s some kind of an animal sleeping on the hay in the corner.” Heyes pointed a finger at the animal so Jed could see where he was looking.

“Not a good place for it to sleep, might scare the horses,” Jed said, reaching into his book bag and taking out his slingshot.

“You ain’t supposed to have that here!” Heyes whispered.

“Always need protection.” Jed picked up a couple of pebbles and weighed them in his hand. In one smooth motion, he loaded the pebble and shot the animal, followed closely by another.

The animal didn’t move. Cautiously, Heyes advanced and poked the animal. “Must have died here.” Picking it up, he dropped it quickly. “Jed, it ain’t an animal.”

“Then what is it?”

Heyes picked it up off the stable floor and shook it. “Jane Brown’s hair?”

The girl’s voice came from the stable door. It was more a scream than words. “What are you doing?”

Heyes turned, hair in hand.

“Busted,” whispered Jed with a sly grin.

“Jane, er…er.”

“My hair,” she cried.

Heyes had recovered enough to give him a wide dimpled smile. “Jane, you don’t need this …this…thing on your head. You’re much more beautiful without it.”

“I am?”

Heyes looked at her closely. “Yes, you are. You have very pretty light brown eyes,” he told her thinking he liked the intelligence he saw there.

“I do?”

“Yes, you do. And that red hair you’ve been hiding under this thing, is quite charming with your complexion,” Heyes said, giving her another dimpled smile.

And with Heyes budding silver tongue and charm, he made a trusted friend at their new school.

Now, Hannibal Heyes has always maintained that he does his best thinking in the middle of the night, though his partner, Kid Curry, has been known to disagree with that opinion from time to time. However, be that as it may, the point is that it was at just such a time that the idea for the Hanford job had come to him. And even the Kid, if pressed, would have to admit that it had certainly been a bold and innovative idea, one that could potentially have been the crowning glory, if you will, of their outlaw careers. But, due to unforeseen circumstances, it had ended up being an unmitigated disaster instead.

In a flash of inspiration, Heyes had envisioned committing not merely one but two high dollar robberies on the same night, starting with the First National Bank and then moving on to the Hanford Mining Company, since its managers preferred to keep their sizable cash assets in their very own Brooker safe, rather than entrusting it to the bank. It was an ambitious plan to be sure, but one that the young outlaw leader felt sure he could pull off.
And, to be fair to Heyes, when the time came for making his vision a reality, at first everything had gone off like clockwork. As he'd expected, the antiquated safe that the bank boasted had posed no challenge at all to his skill. True, the Brooker had proved to be a tougher nut to crack,  but it too, had succumbed to his mastery in the end. So, it wasn't until a rival gang had shown up, just as they were finishing their work at the mining company's office, that things had started to go south.

The newcomers had taken it poorly when they'd learned that the Devil's Hole boys had already stolen everything worth stealing in the town. A scuffle had ensued and then shots had been exchanged. After which, all hell had broken loose since the townspeople had now been alerted to the fact that something untoward was going on, which caused both sets of outlaws to see the wisdom of setting aside their differences for the time being in order to beat a hasty retreat.
Once they'd reached the outskirts of town the members of the Devil's Hole faction had broken up into teams of two and then scattered to the four winds hoping that would cause the posse, that they had no doubt was being formed at that very moment, to split up as well. And so, instead of taking a leisurely and triumphant ride homeward as they had fully expected to do, Heyes and Curry now found themselves galloping through the darkness as though the devil himself was hot on their trail.

Their horses couldn't keep up that breakneck pace indefinitely, however, and at last they were forced to rein in, to let their mounts take a much needed rest. Turning halfway round in their saddles, the two men peered back the way they had come, eyes straining to penetrate the gloom, listening intently for any noise indicative of pursuit. But the only sound that broke the stillness of the night was the labored breathing of their own exhausted animals.

After a few minutes, Curry asked hopefully, “You think we lost 'em, Heyes?”

Heyes shrugged. “Maybe. Maybe not. Either way we'd best keep movin'.”

Reluctantly, the Kid agreed.“Yeah, I expect we should. But I ain't sure how many more miles are left in these animals if we keep goin' at this pace.”

Heyes cocked his head to one side, listening again. Still nothing. Then he acknowledged, 'You've got a point. Guess it'll be safe enough to rest 'em for a bit.” He nodded towards the adjacent woods. “But let's do it someplace that's a little more private.”

Heyes dismounted and Curry followed suit, Then they started leading the animals off the trail they'd been following and into the deeper cover of the woods. After a few minutes Heyes noticed that his partner seemed to be limping slightly.

Concerned, Heyes asked,“What's wrong with your leg?”

Curry, who had been doing his best to hide that fact from his cousin, lied,“What d'you mean? There's nothin' wrong with my leg.”

“Kid, even in the dark I can tell you're limpin'. Now, I asked you a question...what's wrong with your leg?”

“Well, if you must know, I got nicked by a bullet back there.”the Kid finally admitted.“But it's nothin' serious. It's just a scratch. So, don't start mother hennin' me, alright?”

And why is this the first I'm hearin' about it?”

“Because I knew you'd overreact, as usual. And besides, didn't seem much point in mentionin' it earlier seein' as how we couldn't take the time to do anything about it then anyway.”

“Well, we're gonna take the time to do something about it now.” the older man stated flatly.

“See, now there you go! Always makin' a big deal outta nothin'. I swear, sometimes you...”

“Kid, I am not overreactin', I'm bein' practical. Don't you realize that, even if it is just a scratch,  you might be leavin enough of a blood trail that it could lead that posse right to us once it gets light enough for them to see? Now, it looks like there's a clearing up ahead so lets just rest there for bit and see to that wound, alright?”

Curry held up his hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay! Whatever you say.”

Once they reached the clearing Heyes made the Kid sit down on a boulder that was conveniently jutting up out of the ground. Then he struck a match in order to survey the damage that had been done to his friend's leg. Upon examination it appeared that Curry had been right, the wound was indeed superficial. But Heyes had been right too, since there were clearly spatters of blood marking the ground that they had just trodden, a fact which he was quick to point out.

“There, you see? What did I tell you?” he said smugly, gesturing towards the telltale marks, before he snuffed out the match

Grudgingly, Curry admitted, “Okay, I'm sorry. I should have said somethin' sooner. Guess I just wasn't thinkin'.”

“Well, thinkin' never has been your strong suite, Kid.” Heyes observed dryly as he pulled the bandanna from around his neck and started folding it up.

“Oh that's funny, Heyes. That's real funny. Now, will you please just get my leg bandaged, so I'm not leakin' like a sieve anymore.”

Heyes' grin flashed white in the darkness. “Don't go getting' proddy. You know I didn't mean that.” He finished tying off the makeshift bandage, then announced, “There you go. Good as new.”

“Thanks. I hate to admit it but it does feel better now. And it's good to know that I won't be helping that posse track us anymore.”

I just hope that posse is the only thing that's been trackin' us.” Heyes said, suddenly serious again.

The Kid looked confused.“What d'you mean?”

“There could be other dangerous things in these woods besides a posse.” Heyes informed him. “Wild animals can smell blood you know.”

As if on cue, off to their left, there was a sudden rustling in the brush followed by a low growl. Within seconds of each other a Colt revolver followed by a Schoefield appeared in the hands of their respective owners.

“Heyes, is that what I think it is?” Curry whispered.

“It is if you think it's a mountain lion, Kid. 'Cause that's what it sounded like to me.” Heyes whispered back.

There was more rustling in the bushes as the cat started to circle them, looking for the best vantage point from which to attack it's prey.

The Kid whispered again. “Can you tell where it is?”

“Not sure, but it's gettin' closer.” Heyes stood up and moved a few steps away, trying desperately to ascertain where this new threat was coming from. “I think it's over there...no...no, it's...THERE!”
The carnivore leaped from the bushes. Heyes fired, the sound shattering the quiet of the night, as the bullet hit the cat in mid air and it fell lifeless to the ground just a foot or so from where the Kid was still sitting.

Kneeling by his partner once more, Heyes asked, “You alright?”

“Oh I'm wonderful. Just wonderful.” a clearly shaken Curry replied. “But,seriously though, Heyes, thank you.”

“You're welcome, Kid. Maybe some day you can return the favor if I'm ever in a similar situation.”

“Count on it.” the Kid assured him.

Heyes grinned again. “I will, believe me. Now, what d'you say we...” Suddenly he paused, listening again. The grin faded. “Uh oh.”

“What's wrong?”

“Listen.”

Curry heard it now, too. The sound of hoof beats off in the distance.

“Posse?” he inquired dejectedly.

“Posse.” Heyes affirmed. “Think it might be time for us to be on our way.”

“I was gettin' a little tired of this place anyway.” the Kid observed.

And with that they mounted up and once more rode off hell bent for leather away from their pursuers.

*************************

By the time the sun came up they were close to the Hole at last and feeling pretty sure that they had finally lost the posse. Still, to be on the safe side they decided to approach the hideout by using one of the back trails, a section of which ran part way up the side of a cliff that overlooked the river.

After they reached the highest point of the trail, they reined in. Heyes pulled a pair of binoculars out of his saddle bags and surveyed the terrain below them for a few minutes. Then he turned to his partner and grinned.

“We've done it. We're home free.” he announced.

Curry groaned, “Aw, Heyes, why'd you have to go and say somethin' like that for?”

“Why not? It's good new isn't it?”

“Well, it would've been if you hadn't said it out loud and jinxed us.”

“Now, Kid, you know there's no such thing as a jinx. So, just...”

He never got the chance to finish the thought. From higher up the cliff face a stone that had been dislodged by an animal of some sort chose that moment to fall and strike his horse, causing it to rear. Heyes reached for the saddle horn to try keep his seat but missed and grabbed a handful of the sack that held the loot from the mining company instead.

For a moment he hung there, suspended, as the horse continued to rear and paw the air with its forefeet. The twine that had been used to secure the bag to his saddle horn wasn't strong enough to hold his weight for long, however. It soon snapped and he fell, still clutching the bag. He landed with a thud which not only knocked the air out of him but the bag from his hand as well. Momentum carried it over the edge of the trail and then gravity did the rest. A faint splash could be heard as it fell into the river and Heyes, on his feet now, watched in horror as it was swept down stream by the current.

Even though he knew he should just keep quiet, Curry couldn't stop himself from saying, “No such thing as a jinx, huh?”

Heyes didn't deign to reply. He simply favored his cousin with a withering look. Then he retrieved his hat and banged it against his thigh to dislodge the dust, before settling it on his head again, all the while doing his best to regain his composure. Finally, he said “Well, no use cryin' over spilled milk, I guess. At least we'll have the haul from the bank, so it's not a total loss.”

“Heyes, you seem awful willin' to assume that the other boys made it back without any problems which, considerin' what's happened to us, I ain't real sure is a valid assumption to make. So, what makes you so sure that it won't be a total loss?”

Because it would defy the laws of probability. You know what they say, lightning never strikes twice in the same place.”

“Well, I sure hope you're right. 'Cause if you're not the boys in gang are gonna be awful let down.”

“I'm right. You'll see.” Heyes said, with more assurance than he actually felt.

“Anyway, since I didn't notice at the time, I been meanin' to ask you. Who'd you give the bank loot to?”

Heyes mumbled something unintelligible.

“What was that? I didn't hear what you said.”

“I said I gave to Wheat and Kyle.”

The Kid groaned again. “Aw, Heyes!”

“I know, Kid, I know. So don't say it, just don't say it.”  Heyes warned. Then he caught up his reins, remounted his horse and trotted off down the trail, leaving the Kid to follow dejectedly behind.

********************************

Two hours later the pair of weary outlaw leaders at last rode into Devil's Hole where they were immediately surrounded by a crowd of their colleagues who were eager to learn what had happened to them since they'd last seen one another. After taking a hasty head count Heyes was relieved to see that all the men who had gone with them on the job, Wheat and Kyle included, had managed to make it back to the Hole as well and none of them looked any the worse for wear.

Preacher pushed his way to the forefront of the crowd, a welcoming smile on his face, and as Heyes the Kid dismounted he proceeded to slap each man cordially on the back as he said, Heyes, Kid...bless you boys! We sure are glad to see you. We was beginnin' to think you got took. Run into some trouble did ya?” His eyes scanned their saddles. The smile began to fade. “What happened? Did ya have to cache the loot somewheres?”

The cousins exchanged a look. Then Heyes said, “Well, yeah. We did run into a little trouble but no, we didn't actually cache the loot.”

“Then where is it?”

Well, that's kinda difficult to say.”Heyes answered, truthfully.

Lobo stepped forward now and demanded, “Heyes are you tryin' to tell us you lost the money you were carryin', too?”

“Well now, you see...”Heyes began, then paused for a moment as the import of Lobo's question sank in. “What d'you mean 'too'?”

Lobo turned a baleful eye on Wheat. “Tell 'im. Wheat. Tell him what you did.”

“Aw, Lobo!”

“I said tell him!”

Kyle stepped up. “Never mind, Wheat, I'll do it. You see, Heyes, that posse was on us like ticks on a hound dog and we had to think of some way to slow 'em down so Wheat here he opened the money bag and...”

Heyes groaned. “Dont tell me. Let me guess. You threw the loot at the posse, right?”

“Yessir.”

“All of it?”

Nossir, we got some of it left.”

“How much?”

“Seventy three dollars.”

It was the Kid's turn to groan.

Wheat finally spoke up, saying sullenly, “Anyway, we wouldn't have needed to do it if Heyes here hadn't tried to bite off more than he could chew.”

Curry immediately came to his partner's defense. “Wheat, need I remind you that you're hardly in a position to criticize anyone else?”

Aw now, Kid you know that...”

“Wheat.”

The warning note in Curry's voice was clear and after a moment, Wheat mumbled, “Well, no offense, Kid.”

“None taken, Wheat.”

Heyes spoke up. “Well, I take offense. I take great offense. Now you boys can't blame me for this. There was no way I could have foreseen that bunch of owlhoots  would show up and crash our party, now could I? And as for the money we lost, well that was an accident that coulda happened to anybody. And you sure as hell can't blame me for what Wheat did, so.....”

“Maybe not.” Lobo interrupted “But Wheat's got a point. If we hadn't pulled that second job then we'd've been long gone before that other bunch showed up and then none of the other things that happened last night would've ever happened. Now, you're a good leader Heyes, and I like you. But the fact is, sometimes your plans are just too grandioose.”

“Aw now, fellas, be reasonable...”

Lobo held up a silencing hand. “Heyes, none of us are feelin' very reasonable right now. So, if I were you, I'd jest let this lie.” Then he turned to his companions. “C'mon boys. Let's go back to the bunkhouse and drown our sorrows.”

As the other men started to file away, Heyes turned to his partner and pleaded,“Kid, you know what happened wasn't my fault don't you?”

Torn between his loyalty to his cousin and his desire to be fair to the other members of the gang, Curry did his best to answer truthfully yet in a way that would mollify his partner, though somehow he doubted that it would.

“No, Heyes, it wasn't. It was just bad luck all around. And after the boys get over their disappointment, I'm sure they'll see it that way, too. Still, the fact is, they do have a point. Maybe it would be better if we just stick to pullin' one job at a time, from now on. So, do everybody a favor, will ya? Next time you come up with another 'brilliant plan', in the middle of the night, just keep it to yourself, alright?”

“But, Kid, you know that's when I do my best thinkin'.” came the expected protestation.

The Kid rolled his eyes in exasperation. “You're hopeless, you know that?” he said. Then with a heavy sigh and a dismissive backward waive of his hand, he proceeded to limp off after the others.
And after a moment Heyes (who had sadly grown used to being a man of vision in a world of the short-sighted) murmured softly, in self consolation, “Well, anyway...the idea was good.” before he too, followed.

*************************

Not a story really, kind of little ficlet.


The church bell rang out on a clear morning, calling the parishioners for Sunday service. Families milling about the churchyard, catching up on their neighbors’ doings started to file into the white clapboard church.

“Oh Mrs. Curry, your youngest gets cuter every time I see him. With those chubby cheeks and those sun-kissed curls, he looks just like one of those angelic cherubs you see in paintings.” The woman exclaimed as she bent down and pinched little Jed Curry’s cheeks before tousling his towheaded, silky waves.

Elizabeth Curry smiled down at the three-year-old trying to hide behind her skirts. Sean Curry turned from shepherding the five older Curry offspring in the direction of the church door and remarked, “Lucky he is. Jedediah got his mother’s blonde crowning glory and my Curry blue eyes. A ladies’ man he’ll be when he’s grown. The girls will love those soft curls.” The Curry patriarch winked at his wife and lifted the earthly cherub into his arms before entering the church.

Five-year-old Hannibal Heyes tugged on his mother’s hand, screwed up his face, and loudly whispered, “Jed’s no angel, he don’t have wings and girls are yucky.”

Maureen Heyes ruffled her only child’s straight brown hair and lightly laughed. “I think we all know Jed has a little bit of the devil in him, but you can’t deny he looks the part of a cherub angel with that golden halo. Han, you may not think much of girls now but when you grow up to be tall, dark, and handsome, like your father, you’ll feel differently.”

Sixteen-year-old Heyes was in search of his best friend. He had just finished stacking the clean glasses behind the bar in preparation for the evening. Heyes needed help with rolling the kegs of beer up the incline to the establishment’s main room. The two runaways had found employment in a busy Nebraska saloon. Although only Heyes was getting paid for the cleaning, general fetching and whatnot he was tasked with. Jed Curry at fourteen was only given room and board with his older cousin in return for running errands for the whores upstairs.

Laughter rang out from behind a closed door at the end of the upstairs hallway. Heyes’ sharp ears caught the squeak of his younger friend’s newly changing voice. The harried older boy knocked once and then yanked open the door. His brown eyes widened in mirth before narrowing in annoyance.

Jed sat on a chair in the middle of the room with four of the soiled doves fussing around him.

“What’s going on? I’ve been looking all over for you. Come on, I need your help.” Heyes voice held little patience.

Jed jumped up from the chair, accidently knocking the hairbrush out of the hand of a smiling redhead who was attempting to brush the younger boy’s hair. “Nothin’s going on, Han, I mean Heyes. I’m comin’.”

The redhead turned towards the door. “Oh Heyes, don’t be so hard on the boy. He’s supposed to help us out, isn’t he? Jed’s got such lovely natural curls we were just trying something out with his hair.”

The dark-haired youth pushed his younger cohort into the hall. He looked back into the room and scolded the girls within. “Just so you remember Jed’s only just turned fourteen and too young for trying out most things.”

“I’m not too young, Han. What things?”

“Never you mind, they know. When I get paid you’re getting a haircut. Your hair is way too long.”

“Fold”

Heyes looked over his cards at his partner across from him. He didn’t expect Kid to fold as the man had opened the hand. A soft “Aah” escaped when the ex-outlaw spied an attractive blonde settling herself onto his friend’s lap. Her slender fingers of one hand played with the honey-colored hair curling on the blue shirt color while the other was finger combing the soft curls on top. Clearly, Curry’s attention was no longer focused on the cards. He swept his own too long hair out of his eyes and raised the bet.

Later that Saturday evening the two partners left the rundown saloon somewhat richer than when they arrived in the middle of a raging downpour. Dashing across the muddy main street into the small run down hotel, they ascended the rickety stairs to the last available accommodation in the entire one-horse town.

Heyes struck a match, lit the lamp, and illuminated the tiny, dingy hotel room.

“Toss you for the bed.” The older man fished a coin out of his vest pocket.

Curry’s blue eyes slowly scanned the space, resting in turns on the narrow single bed with a sagging mattress, the spindly ladder backed chair by a small table under a dirty window obscured with soiled curtains. Sandy brows drew down in thought. “Take it Heyes. Save the toss, I’ll lose anyway. I’ll spread out my bedroll and sleep on the floor.”

Heyes nodded and plopped down on the bed, causing an alarming creaking noise and small cloud of dust. He reached back and grabbed the lone pillow, which he raised to his nose for a whiff. “Since I have the bed, you want the pillow, Kid?”

“Na. To tell you the truth Heyes, I’m not so sure we wouldn’t be better off sleeping with our horses in the livery.”

The older man laughed but Kid noticed he only removed his boots and vest before laying down to sleep.

The next morning found the rain had let up and the partners were on the move. They traveled at a leisurely pace towards Porterville where Lom was waiting with a job for them.

“What’s with you, Heyes? Is your hat finally got too small for your big head.”

The dark-haired man scowled at the blond riding beside him. “My hat’s fine.”

“Well, something’s not right. You keep takin’ it off and putting it back on again. Scratchin’ at your head.”

“My head’s itchy, that’s all. It must be all this dust and dirt. It’s nothing that a good long soak and wash when we get to Porterville won’t fix.” Heyes swiped his hat off his head and gave it a few shakes before seating it on his head, absently scratching at his scalp.

“If you say so partner.”

A freshy scrubbed Kid Curry walked into the Porterville Sheriff’s Office. “Howdy Lom.”

“Hello, Kid. You made good time.” The sheriff looked past his visitor towards the door that remained shut. “Where’s your partner?”

“I stopped for a bite to eat on the way over but he’s taking longer to get cleaned up. Said he needs a good long bath to get rid of all the dirt and dust we collected on our way here. He’s probably right since he’s done more scratchin’ and adjustin’ his hat and clothes than I’ve ever seen him do before. It’s like he suddenly got some sort of tic or something.” Kid explained as he poured himself a cup of coffee from the ever-present coffee pot sitting on the office stove.

Lom rose from his chair to open the top drawer of the file cabinet and retrieved a manila folder.

The door opened and both men turned towards the front of the office. A file folder slipped form the sheriff’s hand to land on the floor. Kid choked on his coffee, sputtering brown liquid that sizzled as it hit the hot stove. Both men’s jaws dropped in disbelief and confusion as to what exactly their eyes were telling them.

“Whaaa?” Kid’s eyes were wide in surprise. A snigger escaped and the Fastest Gun in the West’s hand shot to his mouth to stop a full-fledged laugh from escaping.

Lom took note of the dark scowl and threatening eyes of Hannibal Heyes and wisely held his tongue.

Heyes carefully closed the door behind him and stood there with his hands on his hips in a wide stance, daring the two men to say anything. His slightly damp and newly cleaned black hat was jammed on his head.

Curry ignored all the warning signals that Heyes was giving off and stated the obvious. “Heyes, you have no hair.”

“I went to the barber for a haircut and shave after the bath.”

“We can see that. But Heyes what happened? Your hair is gone. On your head and those sideburns that was taking over your face – all gone.”

Hannibal Heyes lifted his hat and ran a hand over the fine dark very short stubble covering his head. The black hat was slapped back down and embarrassment and anger warred across his handsome face.

“The itch wasn’t caused by dirt but lice.” He mumbled.

“Lice?” Kid repeated.

Lom couldn’t stop staring and finally sat down behind his desk to give himself something between him and Heyes. In his judgement the Kid was treading into dangerous ground considering the thunderous looks the older man was shooting the younger.

“Yes, lice. Remember that filthy hotel room we stayed in last week?”

“Yeah. You got the bed and I got the floor. I would have been better off sleeping in the stable with all the dirt on the floor.”

“At least you were by yourself on the floor. Apparently, I was sharing the bed and pillow with lice.”

“Aah Heyes. It’ll grow back.”

“Easy for you to say. How would you feel if your crowning glory of blond curls was practically shaved off? I wonder if women would be so beguiled by your boyish looks, then. Huh, Kid.”

“Your hair was never your best feature as far as women goes from what I’ve heard. It’s your dimples and chocolate brown eyes that are oh so handsome.” Curry trilled in falsetto.

Heyes lunged at his partner as the Kid quickly stepped out of reach.

Lom lowered his head to his desk and buried his face in his arms as his shoulders shook with silent laughter.


One of the highlights of season three is Kid's hair. He has great hair that season.

nm131:  Loved your 'not really a story' story.  It shows that you don't need a plot or action for it to be sooo gooodddd!  Thought something was wrong with all of Heyes' scratching.

Kat:  loved your story, the back and forth between them was spot on.

Penski:  I would have to agree, they are both the Crowning Glory of the gang.  Glad that they both got called that, to bad it wasn't at the same time so there wasn't a fight.

Kattayl: Valpariso? stories are always about struggles, it would have been very hard to deal with things there after what had happened to them. Yeah, if you are 14, then you think you are so much older than someone who is only 12, but yeah, in two years Jed will feel differently. Glad that they both got to go to the new school and made new friends.