Awestruck Comments

Riders: Fun story. I was envisioning a sort of Rube Goldberg process as I read. Finally, the boys are recognized for their good deed and, of course, it was totally undeserved this time!

HannaHeyes -- cute concept for a story. I liked the imagery created by the phrase "river of shadows." I know I certainly wouldn't have wanted to wake up to a giant spider on my face and I don't mind spiders in general! Not sure I see the two boys as afraid of spiders (even huge ones) in the daylight but that's one of the interesting things about reading different writers -- we all have different takes -- keeps it fresh. I also liked the difference between young Hannibal's elaborate but ineffective trap and Mrs. Curry's far more practical approach. Maybe that's where the Kid got his practical side from.

Okay Hannaheyes I am going to admit that I didn't read ALL of your story.

Being an arachnaphobe myself I read the bit about..it crept..and HUGE and WOLF SPIDER and well..I got the picture. HIde me!!!

Hooray for Jed's Mum is all I can say...either that or get the fly swat!!

HannaHeyes - Didn't you give us a bee story last month? Are you an entomologist? Great fun and the start of Hannibal Heyes' complicated plans. Would boys admit to being scared of the spider though? Mind you, there's a cockroach at the end... yeuch! Nobody would blame them for that.

HannaHeyes: Bees, a spider and a cockroach...what's next, I wonder?! Cute story with a funny ending. (Though, personally, I find nothing remotely humorous about cockroaches.) I completely sympathize with Jed not wanting to go back to bed after feeling a spider on himself. Favorite lines: Then in a smaller voice said, “Was not…” Han walked off to pace while he thought. “Was too…” Jed whispered.

Nope, not an entomologist. Just live out in the country with a LOT of bugs ;) (and my plot bunnies seem to be in hiding...)

And to be honest, I thought about whether or not boys would be all that afraid of spiders after I wrote it, but just decided to post it anyway :) My nephew is terrified of bugs LOL!

INSIDE OUTLAW - This was a very enjoyable story. I could see the action clearly as I read. I liked the idea of Heyes and Kid helping the deputy, then stealing his horse. Your writing is very concise here. Good job!

Inside Outlaw - I really admire how you packed a complete story into less than 3,000 words, and with characterization, too! Everything fits nicely. Good work!

InsideOutlaw: I really liked this story--it was a great character study. The action was well-written and the details of the environment were specific enough to make the story realistic without overpowering it. Milt's confusion was portrayed well. Well done!

InsideOutlaw -- I too must add my praise for this story. The contrast (though contrast is not really the correct term) of the two sets of life long partners was wonderful. As others have said, it was easy to picture the story as it went along. A good story in less than 3,000 words. A great story to break the drought.

InsideOutlaw; Your writing is really improving--and that's not to say that it was bad in the first place. Very good story and, as others have already stated, the action was well writen and very visual. Again, your knowledge of the high country makes me envious. especially when I know I have to go back to riding on roads and manicured trails where gopher holes are unheard of! Anyway, I digress--again! Great story, keep up the good work!

InsideOutlaw - This was a great read, with two sets of close partners involved in the chase. It really shows how Heyes and Curry are just normal men, (when it comes to their humanity, at least), it's just that the value they place on human life is not common in their world and confounds people's expectations, especially when others don't treat them with the same respect. The action was really well written and kept twisting and changing course to give us all a great ride. Clapping hard!

PENSKI - Yay, a Kyle Murtry plan! Enjoyed this story of a robbery gone wrong. Loved Heyes' last line to Wheat about some things being more important than money. Good job!

FRANKIEASJ - This was so well written, I could feel the emotions Heyes was going through on that street. Nice to see Heyes being the one in a showdown. Kinda scary though knowing Kid wasn't there to watch his back!

Penski; Good to see Kyle finally getting a chance to show his brilliance! Or at least stumble across a good idea. Not all well laid plans can go accordingly and sometimes you just have to cut your losses!

FrankieASJ; That was certainly a different take on the gunfight. Like all of us, I'm sure; At the beginning I assumed that Heyes was agian watching Kid in yet another showdown, but then you put in your twist. Very well writen and as HH says, we could really feel what Heyes was going through and all the things that flashed through his mind at a time when he really needed to be focused.

Penski -- you portrayed the tension of the gang as they raced for freedom well. It was nice to have Kyle be the one to come up with the idea. Finally I love the train to Clarksburg -- was it the last one?

Frankie -- Yay!! you got a story in and what an emotional one it was. I like the twist on the gunplay. I'm sure it was a very traumatic day for both our boys.

Frankie - YAHOO!! Frankie wrote an ASJ challenge! You deserve a drink - shall I make it a Guinness? Love the tension of the whole piece with Heyes' mind not on what it should be and appreciating his partner's ability to turn everything off but the opponent. And a few nerve-wracking moments for the Kid until he saw his partner. Loved the Kid's "Let's get a drink, Joshua." (betting it wasn't a Guinness) Perfect!

Admit it... Didn't it feel good writing about the Kid again?

Frankie..a challenge!! Yahooooo. So now Heyes knows what it's like for Kid. Aww.

Penski...who knew Kyle would come up with an idea that actually worked? Everyone remember where you were TAHT day.

Insideoutlaw...like The Bad Samaritans..and of course they were going to help the deputy, that's what our boys do. :)

Silverkelpie - I've been working away recently to support colleagues in another force after an incident, but I just wanted to say that a 'Wet Paint' sign gave us a moment of hilarity during a tense time when I explained about a story I'd read and the whole 'It's not an instruction!' scenario. It's certainly made some hardened cops have a good laugh, and I can honestly say none of us will ever look at a 'Wet Paint' sign again, without wondering if anyone will.

I'm sorry I haven't has time to comment on more stories just yet, but I'll catch up next week when I'm back home.

KEAYS - Loved the argument between Heyes and Kid! Especially enjoyed the part where Heyes' reasoning 'got blown out of the water'. Nice job :)

Penski - I loved the idea of distracting from pursuit by scattering cash. I wonder how much of that money made it back to the original owner? So Kyle finally had an idea? He must have nearly blown a gasket in the process.

Frankie - I'm so glad we tempted you out to play at last. This was so well written and the whole tension of the standoff built up beautifully. The complete respect of one partner for the other's skills came across so well in this and still managed to show that Heyes is no slouch with a gun either. Why apologise for the length when there's quality like this? It's not competitive - oh wait, yes it is... but not on word count.

Keays - A really fun story. Sometimes logic just doesn't cut it, eh? So their flash hats were just as bad as each other, but Kid finally got the better of Heyes just by letting him see himself through his partner's eyes. I do love stories where Kid can best Heyes in an argument.

So now I've managed to post a challenge it's only right I should continue commenting on the others:

Silverkelpie - I just love the characters you create and Tibby is no exception. And I loved the wall washing scene! So is this a stand alone or will Tibby be back?

Riders - What an action packed challenge. Would love to hear the ballad of Heyes and Curry myself! Fun piece of writing.

Hanna - What a pair of wusses! Have to admit to spiders not being my fave creature but I guess they tend to be a little bigger and darker in the US!!! Cute story all the same.

IO - Great challenge. Good bit of action, some peril, angst and then they boys get to be all heroic and win over a couple of the 'good guys'. Nice!

Penski - Loved that! Good old Kyle - he's smarter than he looks - well, just a bit!!!

Keays - Another goody. Clever. I like the way you worked through the scenario with bantering dialogue and what a great conclusion.