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calicole
Gan Ainm
Remuda
Nebraska Wildfire
InsideOutlaw
WichitaRed
sistergrace
Maz
Kid4ever
Dan Ker
Nightwalker
MoulinP
Penski
Calico
RosieAnnie
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Penski
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Penski

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Location : Northern California

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeFri Sep 03, 2021 8:08 pm

Kattayl posted a story here! Loved this one of Preacher. You really showed how he knew his Bible passages, began drinking, and the importance of a family, even if it's a gang. It was wonderful how you repeated "start over life" and the falling asleep on the train as he went to a new place. He certainly did not have a good mentor in his father who was quick to sin with his dallying with young women. Sad to think of what his life might've been like if his mother didn't die. Great challenge! two thumbs

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry

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nm131

nm131

Posts : 155
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Location : New Jersey, USA

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSat Sep 04, 2021 9:14 am

Penski - Oh an outlaw story. That's good. Very clever - separated twins with the Murtree/Murphy family trait of affable cluelessness. And of course, a satisfying resolution to the comedy of errors. Thanks for the story! thrown
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nm131

nm131

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSat Sep 04, 2021 9:27 am

Kattyl - Thank you for the well written background for preacher. With a life full of heartache, uncertainty, and longing, no wonder he turned into the enigmatic man we know. Very much liked this glimpse into preacher's past and the lager story it fits into.

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Dan Ker



Posts : 43
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSun Sep 05, 2021 6:04 am

Interesting and fine written story about one of the most charismatic member of the DHG beside Heyes and Curry.
You thought about a good reason why Preacher became the man he actually was.
Fate and the ambiguity of leading a clerical life, together with the need to change his identity for several times, had a big impact on the maturing boy.
The effects of beverages and a gun in his hand came in quite handy to feel more comfortable, self-assured and grown up. He experienced a feeling of safety and being less vulnerable.
I very much like the idea of his father's basic idea how important it is to stay together as a family, until he hadn't the strength to keep on running and leaving his grown up children behind.
This story is a perfect example of how men can turn out to be an loutlaw without being actually bad men.
I know it was mentioned before, but I also like your stylistic measures to repeat certain phrases or passages like the train ride, or the closed office door while his father and his 'friends' worked so hard together, as well as the 'start over life'.
Something precious for all those who really have the intention to change their old way of living...Whether they can stick to it or not... A kind of read thread we know from the series.
My congratulations to your story.

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Penski
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Penski

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSun Sep 05, 2021 12:22 pm

Rachel741 - Just mentioning train schedules and train is good enough for a challenge prompt. I enjoyed this story about Heyes and Curry planning what to do next. I do see Heyes more content in town with folks around and the Kid rather not be in town or around folks. I wonder if that's because Curry is on heightened alert with possible recognition, danger, or being called out? Glad Heyes decided to go with the Kid's suggestion and they had the perfect plan. Wonderful challenge! applause

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry

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EleanorW

EleanorW

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Age : 98
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSun Sep 05, 2021 2:23 pm

Kattayl:     An interesting idea for a backstory for Preacher. Even though it wasn't written specifically for the challenge, the subject matter is just right.  A very compelling read.

Rachel:      An interesting in-the-moment scene, discussing their plans for where to go next.  Typical of Heyes to take credit for having a good idea :)

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EleanorW

EleanorW

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeTue Sep 07, 2021 6:35 am

RosieAnnie: A very credible "missing scene" from Wrong Train to Brimstone, with Wheat and the DHG making plans to rob the gold train. I could visualize it happening how you wrote it.

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"Death is not the end of all, yet just the close of a glorious fall..." PD
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rachel_74_1

rachel_74_1

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeTue Sep 07, 2021 8:35 am

Kattyl: Fascinating backstory for Preacher! Enjoyed this a lot.
Rosieannie: Great missing scene. So vividly drawn and it stepped off the page and I could see it unfold visually. Very good!

_________________
The happiest conversation is that of which nothing is distinctly remembered but a general effect of pleasing impression.
Samuel Johnson

Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.
Carl Sagan

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Penski
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Penski

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeWed Sep 08, 2021 6:12 pm

Rosie Annie wrote a challenge, too! I'm loving all these submissions this month. The Devil's Hole gang sure did change, and not for the better, when Heyes and the Kid left. Poor Kyle just doesn't seem to fit in with the new bunch and neither do some of the other old-timers. Be careful of hearing big tips, Wheat. It could be a trap. So, Heyes and the Kid definitely knew one of those who died because of the Bannermen on the train from Brimstone. Very believable story, unfortunately. yes

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry
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RosieAnnie

RosieAnnie

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSat Sep 11, 2021 3:51 pm

Kattayl: Wow. Powerful story. You certainly gave us a solid biography of Preacher. I'm very moved by this, and a little broken-hearted.

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"If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly."

"The failure in doing something is stopping too soon."

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RosieAnnie

RosieAnnie

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSat Sep 11, 2021 3:55 pm

Rachel_74_1: Of course, they're not going to separate. Kid seems to know that Heyes wants to stay put, but he doesn't know what Heyes wants and needs more -- his friend. And yeah, definitely stay away from Big Mac and his troublesome jobs!

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"If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly."

"The failure in doing something is stopping too soon."
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Dan Ker



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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeTue Sep 14, 2021 5:58 am

Rachel74

Sweet shorts with some subtle feelings going back and forth.
Obviously something is out of balance in their relationship and especially the Kid is tight-lipped.
So much uses his strategy of needling him...

Sometimes you can pull strength out of a close friendship and I'm glad Kid's reaction is able to "lose the tight knot in his stomach."
Him asking his direct question "What do you want?" reveals the importance of their friendship.

I like the shifting of emotions in your story.
First the tense atmosphere on both sides (I can almost see Heyes pacing back and forth, ruffling his hair while Kid lies lazily on the bed). Then Heyes' relief only to be followed by embarrassment to have given too much away of his own feelings, to be followed by slight anger because of Kid's missing empathy.
On the other hand, Kid's dismay is quickly followed by his own embarrassment to have been fooled by Heyes, and finally replaced by "a wide grin and an affectionate gaze".

So sweet, two scoundrels are showing affection and true interest in each other. In such a friendship it only seems natural, even with Heyes' self - centredness, for both of them to put their own needs on hold once in a while....


RosieAnnie

I always love your imaginative stories what could have happened in missing scenes.
Without their popular leaders, times have changed in DH.
Hard, mean men are staying in the bunkhouse.
I like Hank's wise, thoughtful saying.
Funny Kyle's way of regarding himself as a 'self-respecting' outlaw.
I like the discussion between Kyle and Wheat. More than once I have noticed how well you capture Wheat's characterization. Small things like him mirroring Kyle's posture at the fence are likely for him to do.
He is never one to accept any kind of criticism well, so it's only natural for him to get proddy about Kyle's words.
In my opinion, Wheat is, tough on the outside and soft on the inside. So it is not surprising to admit to his partner, who he is secretly glad to call him that way, he had a, slow start as a leader.
Unfortunately, he doesn't see a trap even if it is right in front of him.
On the contrary, your description of his unduly self - confidence is really fitting.
Your missing scene would fit into 'Wrong Train to Brimstone.'
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EleanorW

EleanorW

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeWed Sep 15, 2021 2:43 am

Penski;. A great re-working of one of the most memorable parts of Butch Cassidy. Loved it!

_________________
"Death is not the end of all, yet just the close of a glorious fall..." PD
http://eleanorward.wixsite.com/asjfics

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RosieAnnie

RosieAnnie

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeThu Sep 16, 2021 2:43 pm

Penski: A posse train? And the death of a gang member? And a week-long chase by a posse? Yeah, another line of work for Our Boys sounds good. I can see, though, when they list the possibilities of other work, they may feel a little bit trapped by their own success. As they found out later, it's hard to make a new life when you're dragging your reputation along behind you.

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"If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly."

"The failure in doing something is stopping too soon."

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rachel_74_1

rachel_74_1

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeFri Sep 17, 2021 9:02 am

Penski: Excellent exciting story. Wonderful characterisation. Enjoyed this a lot.

_________________
The happiest conversation is that of which nothing is distinctly remembered but a general effect of pleasing impression.
Samuel Johnson

Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.
Carl Sagan

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Penski
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Penski

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSat Sep 18, 2021 3:33 pm

nm131 - I love hearing about all the kids the Kid and Erin have. Make me feel good that Curry survived prison (Terms) and was able to have a normal life. I also love that Heyes, Wheat and Kyle are nearby (don't like seeing Heyes and Curry separated). So cute that his kids are playing a version of cops & robbers but with good advice from a former infamous leader of the Devil's Hole Gang. Did I count right - there's 7.5 little Currys running around? Wonderful pretend train robbery! applause

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry
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nm131

nm131

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSat Sep 18, 2021 4:01 pm

rachel741 - I like the easy affection the partners have for each other even if it is mainly hidden in 19th century manliness. The ability to sense something off and the desire to give and take to the balance is right is essential to both of them.

RosieAnnie - Bravado is important to Wheat but so is Kyle. I'm glad he recognized the worth of having a loyal partner and friend. Oh but times have changed and not for the better with the new additional hard men in DHG. Wheat doesn't quite have the intelligence to see the big picture or seek answers to the hard questions. Kyle's skepticism was well founded. you made me even sadder with fleshing out the character of Hank/Henry Maxwell Jenkins, who we know is doomed. This missing scene would have made a worthy addition to the episode - only if the got rid of the fake Wheat and DHG and used Earl Holliman and the original DHG.

Penski - A great nod to Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, one of the best sequences in the movie. You did a wonderful rewrite for Heyes and Curry. Pretty soon they'll find other possibilities after the robbery gone wrong of Columbine. Thank you for the enjoyable read.

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rachel_74_1

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSun Sep 19, 2021 12:28 am

Nm, wonderful as always. Loved the pretend train robbery. And Jed's reactions were perfect too. I like Erin a lot. Exactly how many small Curry's are there? Brilliant

_________________
The happiest conversation is that of which nothing is distinctly remembered but a general effect of pleasing impression.
Samuel Johnson

Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.
Carl Sagan
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EleanorW

EleanorW

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSun Sep 19, 2021 10:13 am

nm131:     Very enjoyable.  The Curry’s have a Lot of children sm   I loved the pretend train robbery and Kyle and Heyes trying to make the children behave in a gentlemanly fashion.  A nice, fun story. thumbsup

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rachel_74_1

rachel_74_1

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSun Sep 19, 2021 11:18 am

Eleanor- oh another great story. Spoilt for choice this month! Loved it.

_________________
The happiest conversation is that of which nothing is distinctly remembered but a general effect of pleasing impression.
Samuel Johnson

Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.
Carl Sagan

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Penski
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Penski

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSun Sep 19, 2021 11:46 am

Eleanor - What a wonderful train challenge. Yep, the dream is a premonition of some type. Heyes and the Kid have to be wishing they hadn't arrogantly introduced themselves at robberies since it's really coming back to haunt them now. Heyes is so lucky he wasn't hurt worse and that the Kid was able to get there in time, unlike in his dream. Loved this story! Enjoy a well-deserved holiday! sm

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry

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nm131

nm131

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSun Sep 19, 2021 11:53 am

Eleanor - First, enjoy your holiday.

Second, what a great read with suspense, angst, action, and bonds of friendship all rolled into one neat package. What a dream and I'm glad it wasn't a true premonition. Glad to see a challenge story from you.

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RosieAnnie

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeMon Sep 20, 2021 10:35 am

Eleanor: Wow, you really took me for a ride with that story! I was holding my breath, wondering if that was a premonition dream of some kind, too.

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"If it's worth doing, it's worth doing badly."

"The failure in doing something is stopping too soon."

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Calico

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeFri Oct 01, 2021 7:59 am


1) Kattayl
Is this your first challenge, Kattayl? If yes – welcome, welcome.

I am loving the ever travelling family seen from young Josiah’s POV.
Oh dear, this has taken a dark turn… Poor Josiah.

Oh, that was clever. Ending with the hold up in the pilot – and Josiah, will he become the Preacher we know and love? Or just someone like him?


2) Rachel

Hello there Rachel!
Well, part of me is disappointed the boys don’t take the job with Big Mac – whatever it was – since he is always good fun.
But the open trail sounds good too.
Nice duologue there.

3) Rosie Annie

Hello to you Rosie Annie.

Someone teasing poor old Hank? About his name – perfectly good outlaw name, huh? Oh, I see – he is poor chap who gets killed. Sniffle.

So, this is Wheat planning the ill-fated attempt on the Brimstone train. Oh, poor Wheat – he thinks he has secret information and all the time it was fed to him. Awww. Listen to Kyle!

Poor chaps. So hopeful, and bad things are a coming.

4) Penski
Hello there ever faithful Penski.

Oh, a good day for Kyle – bring on the dynamite.
Lots of echoes of ‘the film’ our TV series just might have been inspired by here. “What’s wrong with those guys?”

Possees are getting better… Sherriffs are getting faster … Its almost as if the boys need to get out of the business.
And, whayyyhayy – this is just before the pilot. Lovely.



5) Nm131

Hello to you NM

Ah, so we are seeing Kid the family man. And dear Kyle making sure the youngest are allowed to play trains too.

Whatever Kid’s qualms, we have to love Kyle and Heyes giving train robbery lessons.
And a tickle fest – what’s not to like?


6) Eleanor

Hello there and welcome Eleanor.

Spotted and recognised again. Our boys do tend to be memorable.

Come on, Kid! You can get there – forget the dream. Dramatic galloping music – but, he makes it.
Very tense, Eleanor. Very angsty.

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Dan Ker



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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 13 Icon_minitimeSat Oct 02, 2021 7:03 am

I'm not writing many comments these days but I'm happy this month we had a fine selection of stories for the prompt.
My thanks to all contributing authors.


Nm131

I your story I like your catch of Curry's character. He has managed to preserve or regain his male charme when dealing with his wife.
Their different reactions to the children's play is well worked out. Curry regrets their old lives and seems to be constantly worried one of his children could follow his former work of line. A kind of overreaction to the situation. "I don't want them playing robbers." Well, in your universe he has paid the price for his deeds...
His determination and a certain mule-headedness is shown in "we fought to be sheriffs, not the robbers" and his uneasiness about "a real former train robber giving children pointers."
Heyes is a different kind of character. I like Michael's funny heated statement "She's not a girl, she's my sister". Reminds me of a young Heyes, these words would have been fitting.
I'm glad Kid hasn't changed as much as not to be able to finally agree to better arguments.


Penski

Times are changing in the Wild West indeed, as the DHG is threatened by a quick approaching 'train posse' after an interrupted robbery.
Their bad luck is increased by the fact, that the posse obviously knew whom they should follow. Life isn't easy for popular outlaws...
First, I was a little surprised that Milton's death didn't seem to bother especially Heyes. It's Curry, who picks up the topic with his almost matter-of-factly statement "he should have listened and left the money." But I guess, that's something the leaders discuss in private. In their business it's never good to show weakness in front of a gang, and to let themselves get too much involved emotionally by such events.
But it surely is another additional point for the down-to-earth Kid to express his wish to leave the  business. I like that he offers Heyes another argument to make him agree, " it ain't fun no more".
Very much to Heyes' character, with the imminent danger gone, his larcenous friend, who grumbled as well over their persuirs, doesn't see the need to stop. We all know, one day, he will listen to his partner in crime. But not yet...


EleanorW

Sometimes dreams during our  sleep are to be taken seriously.
Sometimes, it isn't so far-fetched or unreasonable that they might be premonitions. Our mind is working up feelings, fears etc. And sometimes you should rely on them. Who doesn't have had a, deja-vue experience in life before? Even if you question them and insist on not being superstitious, there is more on earth going on than we can understand.
Kid's constant strive and alertness to save his and especially Heyes' life is a big and exhausting task. So, his worry to fail one day is comprehensible. But he gets his chance to change the end of his nightmare.
I'm not quite sure if he would have felt Heyes' pulse while he is lying on the tracks with the train in sight. Very likely he would have pulled him off the tracks first and then check his vitals.
Nevertheless, a fine gripping story about own fears and things in life we can't explain.
Sometimes, not each part of premonitions or dreams come true. But, honestly, the whole time I asked myself what the trapped foot could mean... Fine story for lovers of interpretation.

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