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InsideOutlaw

InsideOutlaw

Posts : 867
Join date : 2012-04-22
Age : 64
Location : Colorado

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSat Aug 10, 2019 11:50 am

WichitaRed: As always, wonderful descriptions of your characters and authentically colorful language brings them to life.  A 'talky' Heyes is enough to try anyone patience and he's lucky the rest of his new gang managed to exercise restraint!

RosieAnnie: Clever Heyes to use the fireworks as a cover for his robbery and a way to get his gang safely away. I loved the idea that Kyle's personal hygiene was putting them at risk. Fortunately, he discovered the joys of cleanliness (at least once a year or so).

Penski: Nice story wrapping up a timely warning about the dangers of swift water. Heyes won't be so hasty next time!

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"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature." —Dave Barry
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WichitaRed
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WichitaRed

Posts : 522
Join date : 2012-12-07
Location : Wichita

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PostSubject: Heatwave   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSat Aug 10, 2019 5:30 pm

RosieAnnie heatwave
I can imagine Heyes is quite the worrier and it would be difficult, being patient with him. Love your, oh excuse me, Heyes idea for using fireworks for camouflage.
Great line....Should is a dangerous word. Let’s make sure
Enjoyed the whole segment regarding Kyles unique aroma, good humor.
Terrific descriptions for you heatwave, a very enjoyable peek into the celebrations of a July heist and traveling with a clean Kyle.


Penski Heatwave
Wonderful heat descriptions, since we are currently in one, it was very real. Like the way you took us from jubilation to stressful fear so quickly. Luckily they both did not land-in at the same time.
Great tension....Heyes!” the Kid shouted.  “Get hold of the dang rope – NOW!”....Wow! Loved it, a wonderful read.

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Wichita Red, "I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time, and I live life the way I want to live it."
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WichitaRed
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WichitaRed

Posts : 522
Join date : 2012-12-07
Location : Wichita

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSun Aug 11, 2019 9:36 pm

Inside outlaw. I have read this whole story and every chapter I am joyed to the max. When I saw you with Post I would save them as a special treat. This was just a fabulous story. Your dialogue in it, the lines it came up with Absolutely stunning but even more than that your plot Wow your plot was great. Also really enjoyed the dark edge that you gave Heyes Someday I hope to get even a porti also really enjoyed the dark edge that you gave to Haines was as good as you when it comes to setting and scenery narrative. Thank you for all the hard work you put into this and thank you so much for sharing it

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Penski
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Penski

Posts : 1508
Join date : 2012-04-22
Age : 59
Location : Northern California

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed Aug 21, 2019 10:30 pm

Little Bluestem - I loved your version of the famous Butch and Sundance jumping from the cliff to avoid a posse. The dialog of Heyes and Curry was wonderful, but my very favorite part was Marshall Will Miller, aka "Killer Miller" - what an awesome name! Short, but you packed a lot in those few words. Very tense scene. Loved it!

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry
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Penski
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Penski

Posts : 1508
Join date : 2012-04-22
Age : 59
Location : Northern California

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeFri Aug 23, 2019 10:11 pm

Inside Outlaw – Boy, that sheriff may think he know them, but he has no clue about Heyes and Curry.  I was feeling for the Kid with the sheriff’s run-away mouth.  Love how the Kid thought back about his and Heyes’ young teen years, until the gabby sheriff interrupted his thoughts.  Now Heyes, he KNOWS his partner and even made sure he’d get a meal before the escape.  Another wonderful challenge!


applause


Maz – WOW, Maz wrote a challenge!  Welcome back, you’ve been missed!  And it’s a typical Maz challenge with great dialog.  Love the Kid talking Heyes into his own plan of jumping from one car to another, especially this part:
“I know you, Heyes, you can do this. You’re the leader of the Devil’s Hole Gang, ain’t nothin’ Hannibal Heyes can’t do when he sets his mind to it.”
Heyes nodded. Kid was right. He was the leader and…Heyes took two steps back and began to run and…..
Loved it!

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry
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Penski
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Penski

Posts : 1508
Join date : 2012-04-22
Age : 59
Location : Northern California

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSun Aug 25, 2019 9:59 pm

What… Kid4ever wrote a challenge!?! Shocked It’s awesome having some of the “old-timers” writing challenges this month! excited You hurt Kid (again)! You Kidettes do love hurting him. yes For a few lines I was waiting for a bullet to find him, but nope, you had a dang rattler spooking his horse while his unsuspecting partner snoozed. (I was just reading on a site how bad the rattlers are this year, too.) Of course, Heyes finally found his partner and rescued him. Too bad the Kid couldn’t enjoy the nice camp Heyes found and take a shower with the falls. And he had to break his foot and get his new boot cut off. LOVED the name of the town and the store – very clever, Kid4ever! Very well done! two thumbs

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry
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Kid4ever

Kid4ever

Posts : 209
Join date : 2012-04-22
Location : BURBANK, CA USA

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeMon Aug 26, 2019 1:36 am

Yes, Penski, I managed to sneak in here with a challenge story this month. Or, should I say that another writer, who shall remain nameless,  coaxed  draw  me into writing one? She knows who she is and she's probably grinning from ear-to-ear as she reads this.  Very Happy

I posted my story right before "supper and a movie" time so I haven't had time to do any commenting on the other stories before mine, but I shall commence to right that wrong shortly.

Oh, and back to Penski for a moment in regards to Kidettes hurting Curry: What's that saying about always hurting the ones you love?  lol2   sm
And I guess I shall just have to save the waterfall shower scene for another story, eh?  shower    applause

I really do appreciate how everyone's take on the prompt creates so many different scenarios. They all make for an enjoyable read.  reading

Ok, I'm off to read, but I'll be back!

_________________
writing "My task, which I am trying to achieve is, by the power of the written word, to make you hear, to make you feel -- it is, before all, to make you see..." ~~ Joseph Conrad ~~ study


Last edited by Kid4ever on Mon Aug 26, 2019 2:51 am; edited 1 time in total
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Kid4ever

Kid4ever

Posts : 209
Join date : 2012-04-22
Location : BURBANK, CA USA

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeMon Aug 26, 2019 2:06 am

LittleBluestem  is up first: What a fun scene to imagine Heyes and Kid getting to act out even if the jump wasn't as far or as formidable as in BC&TSK! Don't apologize for "borrowing/stealing" scenes - both Roy and Glen were the Kings of that particular vice, lol  You've added enough of your own special touches to make it work as original.  I have to agree with the others, "Killer Miller" gets my vote for best-named lawman, lol Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 4090779501  

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writing "My task, which I am trying to achieve is, by the power of the written word, to make you hear, to make you feel -- it is, before all, to make you see..." ~~ Joseph Conrad ~~ study
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Kid4ever

Kid4ever

Posts : 209
Join date : 2012-04-22
Location : BURBANK, CA USA

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeMon Aug 26, 2019 2:21 am

InsideOutlaw is up next:

You can feel Kid's emotions as he sits in that jail cell wit the sheriff taunting him, especially with the crack about being a cold-blooded killer. At least his memories take him away for a short time back to their childhood days as he remembers how he and Heyes ended up were they were now.

Kid's smart enough to trust Heyes to come up with a way to save him and you've written in some great scenes that show how much faith he has in his partner.

Love how Heyes showed up with food AND Kyle - I always enjoy it when Kyle joins in the fun! I actually chuckled out loud at the sheriff's "owl" comment to Kyle.

I thought it was a nice way to start and end the story with the same words, with Kid throwing them right back at the sheriff as he left.

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writing "My task, which I am trying to achieve is, by the power of the written word, to make you hear, to make you feel -- it is, before all, to make you see..." ~~ Joseph Conrad ~~ study
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Kid4ever

Kid4ever

Posts : 209
Join date : 2012-04-22
Location : BURBANK, CA USA

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeMon Aug 26, 2019 2:42 am

Maz is next:

You've created some pretty exciting tenseness with Heyes and Kid riding on top of the train. Your descriptions of what could happen if they didn't make it to where they needed to be in time made me want to "help" Heyes jump, lol

If was fun to see Kid be the one to convince Heyes he could do something. Usually it's Heyes who's in charge of telling everyone else how or what to do.

Even though the situation was a serious, tense one, you managed to create some great bantering moments between the two partners. I had some nice moments visualizing the scenes between Kid and Heyes.

By the time I got to your ending I was grinning at the words between Kid and Heyes. Curry threatening to tell the others just made me grin more! You tell him, Kid!


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writing "My task, which I am trying to achieve is, by the power of the written word, to make you hear, to make you feel -- it is, before all, to make you see..." ~~ Joseph Conrad ~~ study
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Penski
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Penski

Posts : 1508
Join date : 2012-04-22
Age : 59
Location : Northern California

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed Aug 28, 2019 10:05 pm

Rosie Annie – You wrote a challenge, too! Love how lots of folks who haven’t for a while did this month. Wonderful beginning about how chess is better than checkers when being a lawman. I can see how a trail-worn Heyes and Curry might look dangerous to the new deputies. I admire how they were watching out for their boss, even though they did tell where he was located. I do like Miss Porter and her naïve look at life. Hmm… what problem does she have that Heyes and the Kid could help her with? The guys are putting their extra money in a safe that Heyes can’t open – LOVE it! applause

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry
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Kid4ever

Kid4ever

Posts : 209
Join date : 2012-04-22
Location : BURBANK, CA USA

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeThu Aug 29, 2019 12:49 pm

applause Yay - two more challenges to comment on! Looks like we're havin' a run on the bank - so many fun stories to read.  study

RosieAnnie: Lom is always a welcome addition to a story. And, we get the added bonus of Miss Porter as well - nice!
Chess, eh? It's a good thing it wasn't a requirement to join the Devil's Hole Gang, lol
Those wet-behind-the-ears deputies sure have a lot of zeal for their jobs. They must not have had time to peruse the wanted posters yet, but they sure thought the boys were a couple of baddies anyway.
Wonder if they took law enforcement lessons from Harry B, telling Heyes and Kid where Lom was?
I enjoyed reading this from start to finish and look forward to hearing more about Miss Porter's bank problem - they are going to help her out, right?  sm

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writing "My task, which I am trying to achieve is, by the power of the written word, to make you hear, to make you feel -- it is, before all, to make you see..." ~~ Joseph Conrad ~~ study
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Kid4ever

Kid4ever

Posts : 209
Join date : 2012-04-22
Location : BURBANK, CA USA

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeThu Aug 29, 2019 1:13 pm

Penski's turn:
Heyes is what? Oh noooo!  Shocked  News like that would make Kid leave before he's had his breakfast for sure!   No  Yikes!
What fun characters you introduced us to.
My favorite scene has to be the one in the saloon between the drunk and the deputy, all the way up until he revealed who he was  lol2
Love how you managed to get Heyes into town incognito and worked out how to lure Kid into town, using the hat as the final bit of bait.
Glad it really wasn't the end of a great friendship and look forward to another tale from the trail as Heyes and Curry continue their adventures next month  applause  

_________________
writing "My task, which I am trying to achieve is, by the power of the written word, to make you hear, to make you feel -- it is, before all, to make you see..." ~~ Joseph Conrad ~~ study
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Calico

Calico

Posts : 705
Join date : 2012-04-22
Age : 55
Location : Birmingham

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSun Sep 01, 2019 11:05 am



1) LittleBluestem



Congratulations Little Blue Stem on being first out of the gate for August.
Now you are asking not to be polled – so, I will take you at your word – though, we all reuse scenes!! (So did Huggins.)

Ah, the parent movie that got our boys started. Bless it. And what a great scene that was. Well reconstructed and rewritten Little Blue.



2) InsideOutlaw

Aww, Kid’s better nature has got him arrested. But, yeah! HH is still free… you are dangling the carrot of a jail break before us.

Clever prompt use – one small step into crime.

And, clapping – we not only get Heyes to the rescue, we get Kyle too.


3) Maz

It is the Mazkin!! I wave across the country at her.

Loving Heyes line about the difference between theory and practice – or, is that the difference between him jumping and Kid jumping?

Yeah! Kid caught him. Lovely dialogue between the boys, Maz.


4) Kid4ever

Hello there Kid4Ever, my birthday twin. Welcome back to the challenge.

Oooh, tense stuff, Kid4. Where is the blue-eyed one gone?

Poor old Kid – that is going to be a long climb with a broken foot.

Awww – loving HH promising Kid a new pair of boots once he can wear them – and, a big big smile of at the name of the shoe store. Clapping hard Kid4Ever – very series like.


5) RosieAnnie

And hello to you, Rosie Annie.

Awww – we still have a Deputy Harker – just a much younger version.

Yeah! Lom. We all love Lom. Encouraging our boys to continue one small step at a time to amnesty.


6) Penski

Here she is ! Penski never lets us down.

No! No! Of course Heyes is not dead.

Triple No! Penski – you clever one, you have lured the Kid into a trap.

Now, I am extremely suspicious and hopeful about this celebratory stranger. Crossing fingers he has brown eyes.

YES!! The old get arrested for being drunk trick.

Clapping hard. That was very clever indeed.

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RosieAnnie

RosieAnnie

Posts : 796
Join date : 2012-04-22
Age : 101
Location : The Comfy Chair

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeMon Sep 02, 2019 8:44 am

Little BlueStem: Terrific dialogue! “It’ll be okay, Kid,” Heyes assured his partner, “If the water’s deep enough, and we don’t get squished to death -- they’ll never follow us.”

“How do you know?”

“Would you make a jump like that if you didn’t have to?”

“I have to, and I ain't gonna.”

Inside Outlaw: I've been reflecting on the small steps I've taken in my own life that have led me to this place. Curry has the opportunity to do the same. Certainly we ended up in different places! I think the sheriff should've listened to the old adage, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched." Just a wee bit overconfident, I'd say.

Maz: The mistress of snappy dialogue is back!
“Maybe it’s not worth the risk.”
“You thought it was worth it when you planned it,” Kid reminded him. “You thought it was worth the risk just now when you told me to jump.”
“Well, I guess I have a lot to learn about theory and practice.”

Somehow I think this kind of small step won't be part of Heyes' future plans.

Kid4Ever: A typical day in the life, indeed. I'm glad things turned out well after all. Very clever use of the prompt. I love the banter about shirts and shoes.

Penski: Clever plan by the townspeople. I bet $20,000 would make a big difference to them. The sheriff was taking proper precautions, even if the deputies were tired of them. But Heyes was still the most clever man in town. Terrific story!

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"The failure in doing something is stopping too soon."
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InsideOutlaw

InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeMon Sep 09, 2019 7:29 pm

Little Bluestem: I loved this one from start to finish! What a great scene this was and now I can envision my favorite outlaws instead of ol' whathisname and his partner.

Maz: Your banter is always brilliant and this line didn't disappoint: “You thought it was worth it when you planned it,” Kid reminded him. “You thought it was worth the risk just now when you told me to jump.”
“Well, I guess I have a lot to learn about theory and practice.” Great, too, how the Kid knows just the right buttons to push to get Heyes to jump.

Kid4Ever: Things went from bad to worse pretty quickly. Ow, poor Kid! Love the shoe store's name!

RosieAnnie: Lom's deputies need some on the job training if they think our boys look mean. Lom isn't too excited about having his old friends in town. Maybe he's worried about the competition?

Penski:What a clever plot by the townspeople--why, almost Heyesian. Better yet, it worked. Fun story!


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"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature." —Dave Barry
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Nightwalker



Posts : 98
Join date : 2018-04-16
Age : 49
Location : Germany

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeTue Sep 10, 2019 11:14 pm

Sorry, I just noticed that I posted my feedback in the wrong thread. And even worse I confused Dan Ker and she followed my bad example Embarassed


Little Bluestem – With the boys standing on the edge you had me on the edge, too! “Killer Miller” really doesn’t sound friendly and I’m glad Kid Curry changed his mind. I love the way the boys acted in sync when they had to make their decision. I really hope the boys got away well. Are you thinking about a continuation?

InsideOutlaw – Heavens, what a fine, decent lawman it is who suggested Kid Curry should have ridden down the woman and her son. What a disgrace to mankind. It just points out the worth of our two outlaws. It’s such a nice scene when Heyes and Kyle intruded the sheriff’s office under cover of bringing dinner, which Kid Curry consumes while his friends take care of the sheriff as well as the Kid’s escape.
And as a great admirer of childhood stories I love the short impressions of the boys’ youth you shared with us.

MazMcCoy – It’s nice to see the boys back in their outlaw days.
Heyes line “I guess I have a lot to learn about theory and practice.“ is just beautiful. I bet it was a lot easier for him to make the Kid jump than doing the same himself!

Kid4ever – Poor Kid who got hurt as the boys were running from a posse. Fortunatley Heyes – who slept when he was needed most – came up with the right ideas to retrieve his friend.
[The boys often have a hard time when they become victims of us writers as it seems ;-) ]
I love the idea of the „One Small Step“ shoestore – just beautiful. Maybe it’s right that life writes the best stories.

RosieAnnieUSA – I loved to meet Lom and Miss Porter again. I really hope that one day won’t meet only business-like.
Lom’s two new deputies don’t seem to be the brightest candles on the cake, but they’ve got their heart in the right place and maybe time and Lom’s teaching will help them getting better in their job.
I loved the line: “Me and Kid, we’ve had a few run-ins with men who use their tin badge like it was a license to be a crook.“  Poor boys, they surely did meet a lot of scum in disguise of descent men in their time. I guess we all hope that they’ll be granted their amnesty before they become victims of one of them bad-hearted lawmen.
Nevertheless, I understand why Lom is a little bit uncomfortable with helping the boys. Most times trouble is following their tracks waiting to team up with bad luck to give them another hard time again...

Penski – Poor Kid didn’t deserve to get such a message before breakfast. And then he got caught when he went to pay his respect – could it get any worse? Such a miserable scam to get the drop on Kid Curry. I’m just glad that the fine people didn’t think far enough to prevent Hannibal Heyes from getting Kid Curry out of jail again.
I love the little exchange:
“Heyes?’

“Yeah?”

“Don’t do that again.”

“Do what?”

“Die.”

Heyes grinned. “I’ll do my best not to.”

I guess only Heyes can be expected to die more than once, but I’m really happy they didn’t get him this time. But on the other hand: for us Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry will live forever anyway.

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Penski
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Penski

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeTue Sep 17, 2019 6:49 am

Ms Maz - First outta the gate and you hurt Heyes this time! Shocked Loved the worried Kid and the bantering, especially the "calling me names your ma wouldn't have been proud of" line. I especially love how Kid uses the excuse he's tired to get his partner to rest longer - so typical of them to be watching for each other. Loved it! two thumbs

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry
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WichitaRed
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WichitaRed

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeTue Sep 17, 2019 11:26 am

Good read, Maz, I had a giggle when Heyes’ groaned as I knew one of them had been injured by you. Bu, i did enjoy the quick peek into a day in their lives. Curry had some great lines in this, I liked that Heyes conceded his pal, most likely need to rest. Thanks for sharing

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Wichita Red, "I'm not really a rebel, but I take chances. I have a good time, and I live life the way I want to live it."


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WichitaRed
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WichitaRed

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PostSubject: August    Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeTue Sep 17, 2019 3:32 pm

Lil bluestem—— fun play on cinema history. I actually saw our guys clearer than what’s his name and his partner. Thanks for sharing this bunny that jumped for you.


Inside outlaw starts right out with wonderful description and what a louse that sheriff is even suggesting Kid should run down a mother and child. Never thought about one of them racing on if the other was caught, makes perfect sense...terrific insight on your behalf. NICE USE OF ONE SMALL STEP. Thanks for sharing. . .the end made me grin

Maz McCoy. You have me grinning all the way as Kid is trying to encourage his pal to take the step, he had planned out, in the first place. Really enjoyed your spot on dialogue, and could feel Curry’s irritation...so good. Loved that this was only the first of three...thanks for sharing.

Kid4ever. Good tense start, could easily visualize the climb. You must be a horse ride, I can see it in your writing, good detail. You worked hard on writing descriptive details....oh no, every boot wearers nightmare...Heyes is going to ruin his boots, and new ones to boot. Fun tale.


Rosie Annie. from all the dime novels he’d read. The man was a gunfighter; Tom knew it ha ha, good one, 💕 it. Poor deputies they were crushed with Curry’s sarcastic look, wonderful description. Wow, but this just rolls along like watching an episode, so talented...bit envious. What a teaser, looking forward to see where you are taking them. Love that it feels so ASJ REAL

Penski. Okay even hearing them men blurt out Hannibal Heyes is...well, i shan’t say it, but it made my stomach drop. Now I have to continue reading through poor Kid’s reaction.......par Dieu but it would be difficult listen to others talk about your pal, your dead pal, like he was a sideshow curiosity. Eeeek, not even allowed to see his pal...Penski!?? But I knew instantly when Heyes appeared, got a foolproof plan that has worked in the past, why would he not use it again. Great description with the drunk. Fabulous tale, thank you for sharing




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Penski
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Penski

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed Sep 18, 2019 7:04 am

Wichita Red – Nice way to begin a story with a tired Curry warning a cocky Heyes that it’s time to quit. Of course, Heyes doesn’t always listen like he should. Suddenly there’s a big difference in the story. I had to read that paragraph a couple of times to realize…OH! (something to show time would have been helpful) Not so cocky anymore. In fact, someone else is doing the cocking. Thank goodness Heyes has a partner that watches his back. Love the lines about taking care of yourself and you don’t give me a chance to prove it. Very good challenge! thumbsup

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Maz

Maz

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeSun Sep 22, 2019 3:29 pm

Wichita Red, Good job Kid was there and how quickly a nice quiet game of poker can turn nasty. I loved how you set the scene and then...trouble ensued. two thumbs

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Penski
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed Sep 25, 2019 6:52 am

Nebraska Wildfire - What a lovely day for a picnic, complete with a water hole, cookies, and lemonade. The kids sound like they're having fun. A part of me wanted to walk with the other adults to hear what they were talking about and what they were looking at. Reminiscing about the past and what happened? Loved the question and answer at the end. applause

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry
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WichitaRed
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Location : Wichita

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019 to ...   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeWed Sep 25, 2019 9:46 pm

Nebraska Wildfire: The golden curls in the golden wheat do make a wonderful, blissful image.
What a golden lil’ tale of an earned peaceful existence. Love your perfect reasoning of a child….“We were in the water. How could they be dirty?”

Thanks for sharing


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Nebraska Wildfire

Nebraska Wildfire

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Join date : 2016-10-31
Location : The Sonoran Desert

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PostSubject: Sunrise, sunset   Awestruck comments - May 1st 2019  to ... - Page 2 Icon_minitimeThu Sep 26, 2019 8:36 pm

Maz: As always you have the boys’ relationship perfect. The Kid cares so much that he does not sleep and Heyes is “ready to ride,” but not really. “If you need to rest, I guess we can stay here a little longer.” “Thanks. I could use the rest.” As I said above, perfect.

Wichita: I loved the scene you set with the boys, the Kid hissing and walking away, and Heyes responding with a flat smile. The story of course ends the way we knew it should, with the sun blazing on the red blood splattered across the table. What a dynamic picture. Their final conversation says so much: “Thought you could take care of yourself.” “When do you ever give me a chance to prove it?” Lovely banter, with their relationship coming through so perfectly.
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