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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: More Breakfast   Sat Jun 30, 2018 9:22 pm

What a lovely bunch of stories to end out the month.

nm131:  I like the palpable tension throughout, even as Heyes smiles at Bea.  I can feel his mind spinning with all the possible scenarios, and still hoping against hope.  His utter relief is palpable when the Kid shows up.  I love the vision of the Kid dusty and tired, even if the poor boy is hurt.  He seems just as relieved in his own way for them to be back together.  My favoiite part is where Heyes realized he did not having to say anything about the stress of waiting and wondering.  Another first person story for the month, and a perfect look into the myriad of thoughts in his head, as he not so calmly waits.

Penski:  I really like the contrast between the young, oh so sweet young boy, too busy and too secure in his life to worry about breakfast, and the always vigilant, and always hungry Kid as we know him.  A bittersweet, and oh so honest tale.

MoulinP:  I found this utterly heart wrenching.  There was so much going on during such a quiet breakfast. I could hardly keep up with the revelations, and I wasn’t certain I wanted to as the tale unfolded.  Beautifully written.  Sad after all the losses, that he’s estranged from his son, no matter what the cause.  I do like his ruminations on how he would have dealt with that in a prior life.  Will we see more of Tulsee?
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Sun Jul 01, 2018 3:43 pm

MoulinP: What a bittersweet story. Nobody has babies thinking that, someday, we'll be estranged, or that the parent will outlive a child. Yet that is the reality for far too many people. Why should our favorite former outlaws by exempt from that pain? Very touching, sad, and realistic.

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PostSubject: June 2018   Mon Jul 02, 2018 5:05 am

Nebraska Wildfire - Another time to slip into the head of one of the boys. I enjoyed again the way you described his thoughts. Poor Kid who gets spoiled his cozy illusion so soon. I really felt for him and would have like to allow him to get a little rest and comfort somewhere else.

Remuda – I like the way you let the boys talk together about nothing in particular. The little episode was timeless and I can the boys imagine on this ride in every age. I’m not sure if Heyes just was thoughtless or wanted to be annoying with his endless blessings – I can imagine both for him. At least his cure of distraction worked in the end.

Your story reminded me of a little tale my uncle told me when I was a child:

A farmer met an old man who was endlessly sneezing. He friendly answered every sneeze with a “God bless you” until he finally lost his patience and started cursing. It turned out it was the Good Lord himself who came down to earth to reward someone’s patience – if he had stayed calm for only one time more, the farmer would have fulfilled a wish ... (or something like that)

However, I enjoyed your story that brought me back into my childhood ;-)


Chelseagirl – It was interesting to see Heyes and the Kid at an ordinary occasion. Just a nice and easy breakfast with the family. I have to admit it made me a little bit jealous, but I’d like to see both of them more often this way.

nm131 – Wonderful picture of a waiting and worrying Heyes – the most underestimated gunman in the West. You tell so much about their relationship in a short story while one of them is still missing.

Penski – I always like to hear about the boy Jed.  Must have been as interesting as the grown man. Nice to see the Kid is always alert and cautious even at breakfast.

MoulinP – A lot of emotion and a whole family tragedy in a short story. But I would have wished to hear more about Daniel.

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Cal

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PostSubject: Breakfast   Tue Jul 03, 2018 9:22 am

You go away for a few days...ok weeks...and come back to sooo much breakfast...

well in Chelseagirl's story a groaning table full! I was thinking, I just wrote a "breakfast" story too, Chelseagirl  (See The Bonnet....lol..."What you need Kid, is breakfast") so well done for giving us this little glimpse of Sandy's cooking... and a twirl around the kitchen for Caroline... I think those long absences were better tolerated (and inevitable) in those days, don't you. And gave them a chance to write beautiful letters to each other... Love the Kid / Sandy romance.

nm131 - When I realised this was Heyes ordering all the food, I thought...wrong partner... then you take us on Heyes' roller-coaster, four-day, wait of dread. Or wait for Jed.  And the big breakfast takes on a whole new meaning.    My favourite thing about this story, is that it so completely illustrates their high drama lifestyle, being played out secretly, in everyday mundane situations like a cafe, over breakfast, reading a newspaper. Loved the sight of Kid too...I was relieved ....never mind Heyes lol2
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Jul 03, 2018 4:42 pm

MoulinP – A fast-paced, but sad tale. Sounds like not all was well for Heyes and Curry in their retirement from outlawing. No happy ever after for them. Sad that Daniel was never forgiven and banished from the family. Sad that Chris took his life. Sad that the other three sons don’t know their father. Yep, an overview of what happened in Heyes’ and Curry’s lives – a sad tale.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Wed Jul 04, 2018 5:24 am

Cal
Spooky coincidence about your book!
Yes that sure sounds like Wheat alright. Looks at the two men at the end of the bar in such a superficial way, thinking THEY would be impressed by Wheat Elroy Carlson. Who? I can see them frowning at each other in confusion. I wonder what happens after Fan Wong's Emporium. Will we get to know? Please?

Nightwalker
Another mystery bar room drinker. This one kept me guessing, half convinced that it was Wheat - guess Cal's story put that idea in head. Then the word dynamite. My eyebrows went up just like Heyes'. Ah yes of course - Kyle.

Nebraska Wildfire
Beautiful description of a snapshot in time. Of course breakfast wins out, this is Kid Curry.

Remuda
Great banter as always

Chelsea Girl
Made me laugh how the Kid rationalises how much breakfast Sandy has made for him. As an offering and of course one that he couldn't possibly let go unappreciated.

nm131
The tension. The worry. The agony of not knowing. Then relief. Joy. Concern. How does so much emotion find its way into a story so short? However it does it's brilliantly written. I really liked this one.

Penski
At least they got to eat breakfast before they had to run. I don't suppose that always happens for one moment. Ever alert Kid
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nm131

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Wed Jul 04, 2018 12:11 pm

Breakfast comments:

Cal - Loved this inside look of Wheat at the beginning of his relationship with Heyes and Curry. You really brought how Wheat's mind works to life in a very vivid story that illustrates the bravado and the vulnerability of the tough outlaw.

Nightwalker - Well, we've had Wheat it is only fitting that the next story gives us Kyle. Well done first person account of Kyle's meeting with Heyes. You give us a nice glimpse of Kyle's friendliness and likability and draws people to him even if he's not the smartest man in the West. Great line with the "good stuff".

Nebraska Wildfire - This was a sort of sweet and sour story regarding the shallowness of a pleasant interlude. Curry wishes for real love and a relationship but must settle for a bought fantasy.

Remuda - I'm a big fan of your Saddle Talk series. They are always very clever and this one is much appreciated. I can hear the dialogue and picture them ambling along so clearly. I wish I was there as I am NEVER without plenty of tissues.

Chelseagirl - I like your "Ella" series of stories and this is a very fitting excerpt. I can certainly see this scene happening that it is Sandy's way of showing love and Kid understanding that. It must be tough for both couples to part for an extended period of time and offering food is a time honored way to wish them health and safety.

Penski - I don't think I can improve on Nebraka Wildfire's comments. It is a simple but effective way to contrast the ordinary and carefree childhood of Kid's with his uncertain and always vigilant present. Nicely done in few words.

Moulin P -  We all know that happily ever after doesn't occur except in fairy tales and your ASJ world is definitely on the realistic, gritty,  and bitter end of the spectrum. Not a fairy tale at all. What a sad end of life for Jed Curry - for a man who has a big, loving and forgiving heart he winds up isolated and lonely. It seems as if he's given his life to Caroline with little in return. His friends and family, who he has spent the majority of his life with in the East, do not love or understand him for who he is. Into each life a little heart ache must fall and both Heyes and Curry experience the inevitable but Curry seems to have been showered in it. The only ones who do seem to care are either dead or employees. The story left me depressed (not that it isn't well written or appreciated, it is). One detail did seem a little off was the estrangement with his son Daniel. There is a world of difference between Danny Bilson, a cold hearted murderer, and with what happened between his sons unless there is purposeful and hateful actions we are not yet aware of.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Wed Jul 04, 2018 2:18 pm

Remuda - Heyes sure is being the optimistic one and the Kid being the pessimistic one. Another good saddle talk. yes

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Fri Jul 06, 2018 5:59 am

Cal - I really enjoyed reading Wheat's thoughts and also about your inspiration. Funny how inspiration can hit us anywhere, anytime. I like how you left the story hanging, but oh my, I sure am wondering what's going to happen when Wheat finds out WHO his two marks are! Great challenge!


Nightwalker - Interesting that you and Cal seemed to be on the same wavelength this month. Great minds, I guess. Heyes sure seemed bold, jumping up and recruiting like he did, but I can definitely see that he might be the cocky sort in his younger days. Very enjoyable challenge.


Nebraska Wildfire - So I guess there ARE things Kid Curry might do "Before Breakfast." ;) Short, sweet, and well written.


Remuda - "Bless You" for writing another Saddle Talk! I've missed these and this one surely did not disappoint. Sneezy, Grumpy, Doc...Snow White and the Devil's Hole Gang? Very Happy Well done, Remuda.


chelseagirl - Now that's what I call breakfast! I really liked the lines Heyes says in regards to there being no one too "regular" around their house. Also these lines describing Caroline: Now she mostly studied, which she was good at, and got underfoot, which she was very good at. A fun, lighthearted piece. Well done, chelseagirl.


nm131 - I was sitting on the edge of my seat throughout Heyes' worrisome breakfast. So glad the two were finally reunited! I appreciate your view of HH and KC--Heyes is more than capable in the "muscle" department, just as Curry is more than capable in intelligence. Enjoyed this very much!


Penski - Your challenge definitely went a different direction than I originally anticipated. It is a very good thing that there are certain chores Kid Curry is willing to do before breakfast, or their horses wouldn't have been ready to run. I love how you have shown the Kid as the Master of gunfighter diligence --expert in the art of strategic seat selection. Wild Bill should have taken better notes. ;) Great challenge! Excellent closing line!


MoulinP - Deep thoughts over breakfast. How sad that the Curry boys don't really know their father. Is this part of a longer story that you have written or are in the process of writing? Very unique challenge.

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Cal

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PostSubject: Breakfast   Fri Jul 06, 2018 6:52 am

Penski - Enjoyed both the contrasting views of our lovable pair.... Kid and breakfast ...go together like Smith and Wesson... and now we know why.  Those little things he can remember his parents telling him would take on a whole new significance seeing what happened to them.  And I'm with Heyes... who better could you have watching your back.

MoulinP - I was completely taken in by the holder of a cup of coffee for breakfast.  What a sad scenario you paint for Kid.  I guess we all know he has a stubborn streak, but to estrange one of your children whatever the provocation....so sad.  And to head out West and leave family behind, that's harsh, especially as we learn his partner isn't going to be there with him.  Very sad altogether, but kudos on the weaving of a very full and detailed life story.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Sat Jul 07, 2018 1:53 am

I didn't participate last month, but want to add my awestruck comments. :) Especially since I enjoyed all of your "Breakfast" tales so thoroughly.

June Breakfast Stories:

Cal: I love the Wheat Carlson POV. He comes across as arrogant and also amusing in his arrogance, but I winced when hearing the fates of his companions. No wonder he wanted to join up with Heyes and the Kid!
   I especially was tickled by Wheat's thoughts about taking on the Kid. Hah ha, that didn't end up like he expected. In fact, I really really would love to see how that robbery went. As I'm pretty sure it didn't work out the way he planned it!

Nightwalker: This was great, having a Kyle POV right after a Wheat one! I gather you didn't plan that but it worked out perfectly. It's a nice scene. It shows how hard of a situation he is in and I really like how we get to see Heyes through Kyle's eyes.

Nebraska Wildfire: This scene was captured so well, I could absolutely see it. (And not just because I want a scantily clad Kid. ;) ) Really, the sort of bittersweet feel to the encounter was very clear. Their connection wasn't real but they both wanted more, although Kid wouldn't let Heyes down and of course she wanted another night with Kid who, well, is flush at the moment, handsome, has all his teeth, and has some manners/kindness. (Meaning he would beat most of her regular clientele just for those reasons alone!)

Remuda: Hah! I do love how Heyes is being purposefully annoying..all with a good goal in mind. I chuckled at the Whistling Dixie part. (Although I can see Heyes doing at least some of that in general without the good intentions, depending on the day. And vice versa, of course. Like close friends/family, they will grate on each other's nerves at times and know just how to do so. :))

Chelseagirl: I know that I, personally, would love to feed Kid Curry and Heyes. Both. I didn't know your original characters, but I really enjoyed this domestic scene with the boys and their family. I also love the end image of Kid picking Caroline up and dancing with her. It reminded me of Sister Grace and “Try to be a little frivolous; life will get grim soon enough without any help from you.” Of course this wasn't nearly as harsh, but it was in character for him to remind her to be a little girl, too, while she could.

nm131: I loved this. It was very adorable. One of my favorite things is a worried Heyes or Kid and you do it excellently. I love that Heyes keeps ordering the breakfast for Kid. I just hope that when Kid did arrive, Heyes really did eat more of his own breakfast. I'm sure he didn't polish it off, but Kid might have. I thought the bit about Heyes being a better shot than people thought and Kid being smarter than people realized was very apt. That and the bit where you say the posses mainly shoot at Kid if they can, which makes sense along with giving him harsher treatment when captured. (Although perhaps they also gag Heyes... His mouth can be a weapon. ) The reunion was all I hoped for when it came and when Kid turned around and listed his injury and the severity, I melted. I also enjoyed how the Kid turned the tale into one that was amusing and got Heyes laughing and less stressed, even if he is so checking on that arm when they go back to the hotel room. Loved it <3

Penski: Wow, this was short but very sweet! Meaning you had me roped in from the beginning. I could also see all of the scenes very clearly. Excellent job, Kid, seeing the reflection of the sheriff. So very clever for him and for you. The beginning was also sweet and sad and might explain why kid loves breakfast so much. Well, that and his general love of food. But when you went from sweet little Jed and back to the present, well, the transition made it that much more poignant. Kid's still sweet but no longer innocent. As far as the conflict, well I was on the edge of my seat at the end. Had it been an episode I would have been yelling at the tv, "Go! Go! Get on your horses boys!" Excellent tension! This was a lovely story.

Moulin P: Awww, this was so sad. Also portrayed very well. I was saddened at the fact that Kid had a rift with his children but it didn't surprise me that he wanted to go back out west. The heartbreaking part was discovering that Heyes wouldn't be waiting for him. Truly poignant. I hope he can find a measure of peace.


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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Sat Jul 07, 2018 7:29 am

Elleree, you're back!!  The fandom missed you!  And what a come back.  I loved that the man thought Heyes was Doc Holliday because he was skinny.  Lucky that the sheriff was more interested in the accuser and didn't hear the bartender.  That's was fun bantering as they talked about outlaws.  Very good challenge.  two thumbs  

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Mon Jul 09, 2018 6:15 am

Doc Holiday

Remuda - We lucked out with another Saddle Talk. I am constantly in awe how you come up with such naturally bantering dialogue that tells the complete story. And yeah, good luck with finding any kind of doc on a holiday. Nice creative use of the prompt.

Elleree Welcome, I'm glad you decided to jump in! There is lots to like about this fun challenge story, starting with the bit about the bartender moving the eggs after Kid was only able to swipe two. I loved the fact that it was Heyes who was mistaken for Doc Holiday and Kid for Wyatt Earp. "It was a rare occasion when they could deny the accusation of being an infamous scoundrel and actually be telling the truth. Kid might have found the situation funny except for the gun." Maybe Kid didn't find it funny but I sure did. And of course the perfect ending that included all the banter about Heyes and Curry. Well done - Thanks for contributing and I hope we get to read more from you.
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Cal

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PostSubject: Doc Holliday   Tue Jul 10, 2018 4:38 am

Remuda - (I still can't get used to you posting early???? lol)  Honey..... an old wives tale?....and whats wrong with an OLD WIFE Mr Curry?????? He should try it...honey works wonders...I should know....I'm and Old Wife hehehehehe. How lovely to hear they aren't skint for once, may even get a bed each.  I like that you have Kid complaining about the reading....but he's really grumpy because he wants to know the story... until their real lives kick back in, of course, and he starts worrying....so very in character. I too loved the "I'm still here"... that is sooo Heyes. And kudos for the shoe-in of several prompts. Another fine dialogue piece.

Eleree (Hello again writing glad you picked up a quill this month....how clever to start your tale to match the picture in your Eleree post....love it... so they're at the bar....and...)
I'm really enjoying the fact that you relate back to the egg trick...the appetite... the hammer... the name thing...so many references to just get us into the action, like its just another episode.  These are my particular favourite reads, especially when the writer can get the subtly of the humour of the original, and you've definitely mastered that. You've got one happy reader here. If I'm not quoting favourite lines, its because I read it all through and loved it all.  Excellent.  More please...no resting that quill!
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PostSubject: Doc Holliday   Thu Jul 19, 2018 11:53 am

Remuda: I do like so much how Heyes stayed positive throughout the tale, with the Kid trying his best not to, until even he had to admit Heyes was right, which seemed to please Heyes to no end, even being magnanimous about it.  A very unique take on the prompt, but a delightful conversation between the boys.

Elleree:  For once the boys weren’t recognized as themselves, but they still couldn’t just have a quiet drink?  I do like how the Kid ends up saving the day, even if Heyes, sort of, didn’t think it was necessary.  Maybe the sheriff needed to look at those wanted posters for someone other than the crazy guy?  Did luck stay with the boys, and he didn’t?  A great story with action, dialogue, and another unique take on the prompt.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Fri Jul 20, 2018 10:42 pm

Nebraska Wildfire - I loved it! What a great last meeting with Doc Holliday!   Of course Clem would go with them to keep an eye on her money. And Kid was right, it was Heyes' turn.  Clapping a lot!  applause

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Jul 24, 2018 12:22 pm

chelseagirl:  I really liked your portrayal of Doc.  It’s definintely a different tale than the characterization in the series, but I almost like it better. He’s a stronger character, kind of throwing the boys for a loop. He wins poker playing with Heyes and can shoot as well as the Kid. You distinctly point out though that he is different from them, as he was known as a killer, and the boys are not. Now I want you to write a story where they run into Big Nose Kate.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Jul 24, 2018 2:54 pm

Chelseagirl - I watched the two episodes with Doc Holliday in them (oh, what we'll go through just for a challenge) and wasn't inspired either. I was hoping for a missing scene, but nope. I love your meeting with the guys and Doc Holliday, showing him as an expert shootist and gambler. Nice that he figured out who they were and respected their bid to be on the right side of the law. Wonderful challenge! two thumbs

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Fri Jul 27, 2018 1:29 pm

Penski:  So you did come through with a missing scene, after all, and more than one.  I'm glad you found your inspiration, after all -- this was great fun. Kid Curry doing what he does best (other than gunplay; maybe even better?) while Heyes plays poker.   And Nebraska got her wish to meet Big Nose Kate, after all -- just from you, not from me!  Doc and Kate must have had a complicated relationship, to say the least . . .
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Fri Jul 27, 2018 4:19 pm

Remuda:
I still love this story and can picture it easily. Poor Heyes, poor Kid and the poor horses! As always, I enjoyed the banter between the two of them. Reading while riding seems like a dangerous idea and one I'd also indulge in.

Love the end: “Okay.”  Kid raised a glass to toast.  “Here’s to the fireworks stayin' here and not followin' us out of town.”

Heyes grinned.  “I’ll drink to that.”

Let's hope it happens!

Nebraska Wildfire:
I really enjoyed this. It was a bittersweet tale that made me feel sorry for Doc Holliday and very grateful that Heyes and Curry ended where they did.

Of course, I’ve always felt for Doc Holliday so that wasn’t a surprise. It’s one reason why I wasn’t happy with how he was portrayed in the series. You do a great job of blending the ASJ Holliday with a more sympathetic one. Also, I think that’s exactly how Doc would have wanted to go—after a great poker game, and not in his sick bed at the Hotel Glenwood. Despite the sadness, you leave us with hope. Nicely done.  

Favorite parts… Heyes and the Kid arguing about who has to be married to Clem. It was Heyes’ turn after all.
Heyes bringing out the outlaw leader with the maitre’d.
Doc’s lines: He looked towards the Kid.  “And I’ve never seen anyone pull a gun on me as fast as you did in Ashford, Thaddeus.”  Again, he emphasized the name, but then smiled.  “And not even try to kill me.”

This part I could vividly picture:
Heyes felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his soul.  “And you are, as well?”  It came out as a question, but Heyes already knew the answer.  His gaze shifted toward Curry, who was slowly closing his eyes.

Chelseagirl:
I don’t blame you rewriting the meeting! As much as I love ASJ, I just didn’t love how they portrayed Doc. And I don’t think it was just because they were Roger episodes.

“Doc coughed again, as he’d been doing throughout the evening, a hacking cough that never seemed so much to end as to simply pull itself back, waiting for the next time. “ Great turn of phrase!

"Before Heyes could even draw his sidearm, both Doc and the Kid had let off shots.  But while Holliday shot his man square in the chest, Curry hit his in the shoulder and knocked him back off his horse.  The one who Curry shot would certainly recover, while Doc’s might not.
“Clever,” muttered Holliday, and changed tactics, following Curry, and hitting his next square on the upper arm, as the Kid did."  Loved this scene and the contrast between Doc and the Kid.

“But I’ve only heard of one man whose shooting equaled my own and who avoided killing, Mister Curry.  I thought it might be you – rumor has it you’ve been laying low and staying out of trouble with the law.”

Oooo, the tension was nice and I was pleasantly surprised that Doc decided to let it go. I truly like this introduction better than the series one!

Penski:
I love Kid and George’s interaction. He’s going to get more friendly with a saloon girl than she’d want, heh.

I also love that you have Kid checking on Heyes before heading to the Crystal Palace. Very in character.
I did cross my fingers and think 'Uh oh, Kid's going upstairs with a Kate! That has to be THE Kate.'

And then:
“I heard there’s a big game going on at The Birdcage with Doc Holliday.”
“That’d be him.”
“Oh, it would, huh?”  Kate’s eyes twinkled."
This made me think she knew very well who his partner was playing and chose him for that very reason. Well, not JUST for that reason, but for the troublesome aspect as well. It would fit with her character!

Finally the last conversation:
"Is she the one with the different..."
Kid Curry nodded enthusiastically, "She sure is!"
Georgette leaned forward and hit the boys on their legs.  “Men!”

This made me laugh. Perfect note to end on. Good job!
--

Replies to comments:

Penski: I've already said but thanks for the comment! Depending on the prompt next time, I might have to do that second part where the sheriff goes through his wanted posters and might just think about our favorite outlaws.

Nm131: Thank you for the welcome. I'm glad you liked the egg swiping detail--I hoped people would be amused by that. I'm with the Kid on that, though. You can't fill up on two hard-boiled eggs. You need like six. He'd probably need a dozen. I'm glad the humor came across all right--it's easy for me to try too hard, heh.

Cal: Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you found the references to the show or, as some would call them, Easter eggs. As opposed to the hard-boiled kind. ;) Sorry, bad pun.
You saying that I have the subtle humor of the original down in this is an immense compliment. I always try to get humor in there as that was a large part of the show but it can be hard to do in just the right way. I love it when I get it right! (Especially because I tend to write action/adventure stories for the boys mainly because I dearly enjoy h/c. Even then, though, you have to have that humor in there as well!) The less suspenseful stories can be a lot of fun, too. I'll try to keep my quill poised no matter what it is I write. :)

Nebraska Wildfire: Yes, sadly the boys never seem to be able to just have a quiet drink in a saloon, do they? At least not with writers like me! Heh. And as for your thought "Maybe the sheriff needed to look at those wanted posters for someone other than the crazy guy?" you might be on to something. I have a sequel in mind though I don't know if it will fit the next prompt. Thanks for the comment.

Thanks all for the comments--makes a girl feel welcome.  purr
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chelseagirl



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Age : 56
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PostSubject: Oh no!   Sat Jul 28, 2018 9:23 am

I commented on Penski's story by itself because I thought I'd already commented on the others. But no, I read them all on a train on my phone and decided I'd comment when I was back at a full keyboard. Got home and got busy and forgot.
Oops. I'm afraid these are shorter than I intended, because that was Monday and it's now Saturday and my brilliant thoughts about your brilliant works are a bit more vague now. Sorry!

Remuda: Tremendous fun, and I love how your wordplay brought this into the challenge, while still staying true to your own project.

Elleree: I really enjoyed this story and particularly the way you also worked in Doc without working in Doc -- great Heyes and Curry interaction. Always enjoy a good mistaken identity and poor Heyes -- he's thin, sure, but hardly consumptive looking!

Nebraska: I love this story and the way you do a great job with a storyline that I couldn't get a rise out of myself. This is the perfect cap to the interactions between Doc and the guys that we see in the series, and that part is very touching. I might have sniffled a bit at the end. Clementine and her interactions with the guys -- totally spot on!

Thanks to everyone for your kind words about my story. I had so very much fun writing about Doc Holliday with the guys, even if it wasn't quite ASJ's Doc Holliday.

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Calico

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Sun Jul 29, 2018 6:18 am


1) Remuda

Hello there! Did you get the date wrong? You are usually at the wire dodging end of the entries.

Another fourth of July for the boys… And only one good horse between the two of them? Bless you for working in the traditional whatshisname and other fella joke.
How good to see the boys well fed and housed and happy for a change.


2) Elleree

Hello there Elleree!! Yes, yes – do join the challenge often. (Some comment about pots and kettles there – smile.)

The Kid is craving a steak, huh? Mmmmm…

Smile – good to see the boys being mistaken for someone else for a change. Will Heyes still bring out the Mayor’s daughter story?

Clapping as Kid does his fast draw, gun out of hand shoot.

And … the bartender in all innocence gets the right names. And our boys tease each other with ‘other fella’ jokes. This is properly amusing stuff, Elleree,

Loving the Heyes – as honorary dentist – has to be in charge of teeth lines. And adoring the ‘smart mouth’ gag at the end. Clapping again.


3) Nebraska Wildfire


“It was west of Denver that they ran into Doc Holliday for the third and last time.” What a great opening line that is.

You boys do know Clem is going to insist on her money back? You do? Okay.

Love that they flip for who ISN’T married to Clem.

Ooooh – so Doc Holliday is thinking hard about Heyes’ poker skills and the Kid’s quick draw? Smiling at Kid’s slow eye close as they realise the Doc is playing poker tomorrow.

Poor old HH – having to lose for a third time.
But…
But…
Oh, well done Nebraska. What a fine twist for the ending.

And dear old Clem claiming her interest. As she should!! Good girl.



4) Chelseagirl


Poor old Heyes, up against a better poker player.

And the threesome are on the way to deliver Doc’s money to his lady love.

So the Doc works out who our boys are. And, they never get to meet Big Nose Kate. Who would she have preferred? We will never know.




5) Penski

It is our VS mistress!!

Now, is the brunette Kid is buying a drink for Big Nose Kate?? It is!

Loving the way Wyatt Earp is offering the boys a win win solution – kind of. Expensive, but… still a win.

The different – what?? I guess you are just toying with us Penski,

They were thoroughly fun missing snippets. Thank you.




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Elleree

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Sun Jul 29, 2018 1:41 pm

Calico,

I laughed during your Tall Tale story. I had read it once long ago but forgotten about the Doc Holliday line. (I've read all the stories on your site and eagerly await more BTW.) I was definitely grinning the entire time. I mean, was it silly? Yes, but the boys are completely in character. I laughed at the "we know the drill" lines and also at the tempting fate part right before it. I also enjoyed how they call each other Grumpy and Dopey then use the other fella line. As far as the end of it, I which I had been one of the Princes! LOL. Love this.

Also, thank you for the comments! I think the Kid is almost always craving a steak. I have fun with doing humor but it's also hit or miss so I'm glad a few jokes landed. :) And back to being the kettle...I'd love to see more from you, too. ;)

Chelsea girl,
I appreciate your comments! I was going to write about the actual Doc but then I had this silly idea and ended up running with it. I'm glad you enjoyed!
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Penski
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Mon Jul 30, 2018 9:13 pm

Calico - Laughing I laughed through this story the first time and I laughed through it again! You are such a clever writer! Thanks for sharing again. lol2

Inside Outlaw - Oh, an outlaw story - I love them! Yep, Heyes and Curry can bicker (loved Wheat's comment), but don't get in the middle of them. What a great diversion that Kyle had fun with. Oh, oh, someone got hurt. Great minds thinking of the same idea! Loved it! applause

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"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry
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Elleree

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Jul 31, 2018 8:14 pm

Inside Outlaw:
I enjoyed this quite a lot! A story from the outlaw days with the Hanford job referenced--perfect. And I love how you have them needling each other here. For two people as close as they are, they're sure really good at getting on each other's nerves, hah.

Lines I enjoyed:
"With pleasure, Curry saw Heyes’ brows knot together and lower alarmingly." I laughed at this. Naughty Kid to have a pleased reaction.

"I’d forgotten about that,” the smile slid from the Kid’s face and he frowned, turning to glare at his partner, who was tucking away the binoculars into his saddlebags." Laughed again here. Heyes got him back!

This exchange: “Knock off needling me! I have enough to think about without your yapping.”
“I thought the thinkin’ was all done. Didn’t you say you’d worked it all out?” Heh.

"Are you all right? Kid, are you hurt?!” Heyes tried to pull the Kid’s hand down, but he shook him off. " Awww, that was cute. Despite needling one another, as soon as one of them's hurt, they're more concerned than anything else. I'll take h/c even in mini doses and when Heyes is smug at the end, lol.

"Noticing the Kid’s injury for the first time, Kyle couldn’t hide his concern. “You all right, Kid?”
The Kid just stared at him unable to trust his mouth to answer civilly." I laughed again at this because I could imagine the look on Kid's face all too easily.

Excellent story!
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