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nm131

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Fri Dec 08, 2017 4:28 pm

Maz - As usual, you leave me wanting more. A very telling vingette, you have a lot going on in such a short scene. One could feel the anxiety Kid must be feeling, the intense need to practice and the knowledge that this practice was not routine. And of course not only the tin-stared individual who witnessed the skill, but the name of the sheriff only heightened the tension. I hope the bunnies keep hopping!
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Penski
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Mon Dec 11, 2017 11:05 am

Nebraska Wildfire – Sounds like the boys are struggling a little with amnesty.  I can see Heyes furthering his education and the Kid being bored in a city.  They are meeting new people and separating their dependence of each other more now that survival doesn’t depend on it.  What a nice surprise the Kid gave Heyes for Christmas.  They really did turn over a new leaf if they are attending Mass.  An enjoyable Christmas challenge!  
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Tin   Mon Dec 11, 2017 6:47 pm

Penski:  Thanks for much for the comments.  I think they will help me improve my story.  I liked the idea, but I knew I was missing something.  I don’t think our boys will ever change enough to be regular church goers, but I had them attend because of plot points.  It looks like I need to explain that more.  Heyes was going, to meet his classmates, so that he wouldn’t be alone on Christmas, since the Kid was not there.  The Kid attended simply because that’s where he was told Heyes was.  My father told me that you should always sing in church, no matter how well or poorly you sang, because it was just giving back to God what he gave to you, and thanking Him for his gifts.  And I think the boys would be thankful for what they had.
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Alias Alice



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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Dec 12, 2017 12:16 am

A real problem posed - Hayes can't leave the city, the Kid can't stay. Sounds insoluble. Will this split them up at last where nothing else could? Something's got to give. Hope you'll write it, Nebraska Wildfire!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Dec 12, 2017 8:47 pm

Maz McCoy, TIN

Nice little piece of Curry’s life…you injured him again though.  :0)
And, even though I adore your vignettes, you are torturing us. And, I am sure laughing maniacally, because, you know you are.
“I’m the sheriff…I know everything…” Wel, my if’n that ain’t an uncomfortable moment.

Awesome Description:  He let out a long breath and watched as it turned to vapour in the cold morning air.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Dec 12, 2017 9:12 pm




Nebraska Wildfire, TIN


Nice views into your ASJ world of what could happen when the amnesty came through. Enjoyed the whole discussion about why Kid had to get out of Omaha. Wonderful reminder that no matter who they are becoming, how amnesty might change the, who they may now be included in their lives… they are still the most important person to each other. Nice tale. Pssst.. I must have been enjoying the tale too much, I didn’t catch the “Tin”. So, I had to go back in look…..found it. And, it was important to a certain man, too.

Great line: The wind out here bites clear into a man’s soul. By the way, said like a true mid-westerner, I felt it when I read the line.

Good Description of one of his quirks: pleased, but as always out of sorts if it was not his plan.

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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Tin   Wed Dec 13, 2017 7:04 pm

WichitaRed:  Thanks for another great chapter!  Your portrayal of Wheat and Kyle is always fun, especially with Wheat is still getting the best of Heyes. I like how the Kid keeps Heyes from going off the deep end. And I love how in spite of all the squabbling, in the end they come together.
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Maz

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Sat Dec 16, 2017 3:51 pm

I am going to try..yes I am! to read every story this month.

So here goes
Maz...wow you wrote such a fantastic story..oh no wait that's mine :)

Nebraska Wildfire...keeping the boys apart as they work hard in difficult times..sniff and then..yay they are together again. Heyes turns and there is Kid. A very nice view into what could lie ahead for them

WitchitaRed. The Gang's all here and in town and in trouble. Will Heyes and Wheat ever see eye to eye? I doubt it. Good job Kid was there to save the day :) And poor Kyle...Geography just isn't his thing is it.

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Penski
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Dec 19, 2017 1:14 pm

TOO QUIET

Wichita Red - I'm envious that you had time before Christmas to write a second challenge. I can imagine it would be too quiet without one of the leaders, even with the other one coughing so hard. Love that Wheat admitting he really does like Heyes. Poor Kid can't win in this one. Very clever of the boys to figure out where Heyes may be. Loved it!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Thu Dec 21, 2017 6:54 am

Disastrous Enterprise

Another one, Wichita Red!?! I don't have time to write one. Thank you for keeping us in suspense for long - appreciate it. Loved the smart sheriff and the dialog in this one. Obviously Heyes needs someone watching his back. Loved it! applause

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Fri Dec 22, 2017 9:52 am

nm131 - What a wonderful take on the challenge. I love stories where I learn something, too. Had no idea about the camera that took 12 photos at once. I nice job for the boys - easy on the back and doing what they do best. Love how the photographer knew Thaddeus could handle the gang of kids. Sentimental ending that was just right for the holidays. Wonderful challenge!

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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Tin   Tue Dec 26, 2017 5:21 pm

nm131:  The question often comes up of what the boys could do when and if they ever get amnesty.  This story shows that they are capable of almost anything to which they put their determination.  Heyes uses his innate showmanship to up sell and the Kid smiles at the children, showing something innate in him too.  The discussion between them about the picture is the perfect ending, poignant but “keeping the faith.”
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Nebraska Wildfire

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PostSubject: Too Quiet and Disastrous Enterprise   Tue Dec 26, 2017 5:31 pm

Wichita Red:  Three chapters during the holidays?  The boys must have really been inspiring this month.  
I loved how you portrayed the boys of the Hole as so caring, while still being very much themselves, like Wheat and the Preacher handily keeping the Kid from wandering out, while still so sick, but the boys still going to find Heyes.  You captured Kyle so perfectly with his special fuses and dynamite, and Heyes handling him so well, getting out of the jail, still alive.  Thanks for several fun reads for the holidays.
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cac



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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Thu Dec 28, 2017 6:56 pm

Rosie-Annie: What are the chances that that's Wade Sawyer's hunting cabin where he likes to spend some time after Christmas Eve is over :)
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Fri Dec 29, 2017 10:50 am

cac, that is a great idea!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Mon Jan 01, 2018 4:21 am



1) Maz

It is my occasional day out buddy!! Hey, never mind criticising the topic, just get on with it woman.


Oooh, is he hiding something?? Ah, setting up tins as a target. Good take on the prompt. I like nice lawmen who suggest they ‘KNOW’. A Sherriff called T.I.N. huh? Is he related to Hal Owen?? Smile.


2) Nebraska Wildfire

You have HH wanting to be a doctor! I think that’s an option too. Yeah, maybe Kid would need to be back out in the fresh air longer term.

Dear boys, wanting to keep each other warm. And Kid came anyhow!! Hurrah. Real Christmassy fuzzies on that one. Well done.

Now, Nebraska – I thought I may have to raise an eyebrow at the lack of a tin theme, but on a re-read I see Heyes actually has a coffee tin. Hmmmm. Okay. A single passing mention is all the rules require. Consider the eyebrow only very, very mildly twitched. [You obviously passed the ‘must be seasonal’ part of this month’s challenge in spades.]


3) WichitaRed

Ah, a town called Tin. (Bet there is a real one too! You lovelies across the pond have a town called everything.)

Has Heyes bought anything secret from the Apothecary?? Hmm… thinks of old fashioned chemical practical jokes.

Ooooh, well brandy fed fruit cakes. Yummy.

So this is where HH buys his fanon chess set?? [Thinks hard… we don’t see a chess set in the series do we?? Please tell me if we do. ]

Bless Kyle!! I guess Montreal can be across the ocean – if he goes the very scenic route.

A nice pink fruity cocktail for Wheat?

Oh, Wheat and Kyle. Can’t you even make it back to the horses without getting bumped into a fight?

Our two boys and Wheat and Kyle to do the relief – what’s not to like Wichita??


4) Nm131

Tintypes?? Never heard of it before – but what a clever take on the prompt, NM.

Good heavens! It sounds like a respectable well paid job. Good thing this is not VS (only teasing NM – and plenty of time for something to go wrong.)

Aww, Kid is being the equivalent of the Helper Elf keeping children happy waiting for Santa.

I am feeling the pang as Kid looks back at the happy family farm, NM. Sniff.

We know why he wanted that photo, Heyes. I think you did too. Awwww. Double sniff. Liked that.


5) RosieAnnie

Christmas Eve. Consider me anticipating.
Loving this exchange:

“You’re forgetting who we are.”

“Oh, I know who we are, Heyes. We’re four men out in the middle of nowhere at Christmastime, squatting in some homesteader’s cabin and stealing his food.”

A Christmas smoked ham. Mmmmmmm.

[By the way – I have noticed you are toying with me. We have had containers and canned goods… ]

You are also toying with us with David Copperfield, huh?

Heyes stole the tin star? Now, Heyes – that may not have been wise. This Sherriff – is it … well, I won’t guess out loud. Is it a canon name we always use in fanfic to signify ‘whoops, he knows them’ ?

It IS. This is clever stuff Rosie. Clever, clever.


6) Penski


Tin Cup?? You see – you have a town for everything!

What a great word sketch of a typical mining town scene setting.

And our dear boys mining the miners at the tables.

I guess HH cannot complain too much at being caught up in a bank robbery.

Oh, Kid. You better tell the Sherriff you picked up all this knowledge from Dime Novels.

Did not see the Marshall getting killed coming. You did your best, Kid. And a bit of real history to back it up. Thanks our VS mistress.


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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Mon Jan 01, 2018 7:40 am

December stories:

Mistress Maz: What, the Kid had an injury, was even unconscious for a while, and you didn't tell us about it? How did that happen?? At least he is getting better and back into rootin'-tootin'-shootin' form. I wonder at Kid's reaction when he hears these terrifying words from the sheriff: "I'm the sheriff. I know everything." Frightening words to a reformed outlaw who's still wanted!

Nebraska Wildfire: What a heartwarming story for the season! Poor Heyes, living like a graduate student, cutting back on wood and coffee to pay his way! What I really took from your story was a definition of friendship; first, that the miles never diminish a true friendship; and, second, there is no better gift than the presence of your friend. By the way, I enjoy this world you've built very much.

Wichita Red: Just another winter night in town, isn't it? Didn't somebody once call the Colt "the Peacemaker?" If not, I will, because Curry sure needs it to create some peace. I think you did a masterful job with the dialogue and characterization here. Heyes and Wheat may be at each other because each one is as pissy as the other.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Mon Jan 01, 2018 7:51 am

NM 131: Sweet and touching, with nostalgia and regret mixed in. Definitely a good play on the prompt. It's nice that our boys have a pleasant job that's honest, and where they actually make some money. A lovely story for any season, but particularly for Christmas.

Penski: Our poor boys, they can't even break a $20 bill without getting into a shootout. And so ironic, of course, considering their history. No wonder Curry recognized the signs of a robbery immediately. Poor Kid, feeling guilty when it wasn't his fault at all. I know they've got money for a few days, but what they really have, and what we love them for, are their hearts. Curry definitely has a good heart, and it's hurting.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Mon Jan 01, 2018 11:55 am

Nebraska Wildfire - - I have a son who is a poor proud graduate student so I can definitely sympathize with Heyes. Its funny how different people have such different takes on the characters. After 30 years in health care I would never place Heyes as a doctor, although, I know you and others can plausibly see him as one. You did a nice job with his desire, determination, and distress at being alone. I can't say I blame Kid for not taking to any of the jobs he's had in Omaha. It entirely realistic that Curry would still be at odds after amnesty, can't really see him being happy as a ranch hand for long, either, but at least it's in the countryside. Thank you for the heartwarming and touching ending.

Wichita Red - Both Heyes and Wheat need a good shake both are acting out and Kid knows it. Gotta love Kyle's sense of geography and he's secure in his belief that everything fancy comes from New York (a grain of truth in that). Thanks for the abundance of DC chapters this month. They're all well written, enjoyable and credible world building.

Rosie Annie - Great take of the back story for Wade Sawyer! Kid's right, one of Heyes' failings is he does push and push in his overconfidence of his own abilities and intellect, and we love him for it. He also mostly gets away with the pushing as well. Your dialogue is spot on, highly in character and enjoyable.

Penski - Tin Cup, and the residents thought that was a step up for a town name from Virginia City? Even though the boys are retired from bank robbing they still can't escape bank robberies. Kid would be feeling guilty even though he acted responsibly and most likely prevented even more injuries or deaths. It says a lot about their characters that they have not become inured to violence.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Jan 02, 2018 8:03 am

nm131:  Thanks for the kind comments.  Can you expound on why Heyes wouldn’t fit in the medical field?  Apptitude?  Patience?  I’m not in that field, so I’d like the input.  My Valparaiso stories are usually just bits of fluff that take on their own lives sometimes, but I was thinking of sending Heyes in that direction in another storyline.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Wed Jan 03, 2018 12:31 pm

Rosie Annie – Oh, an outlaw story. Brrr… I’m feeling the cold! chill LOL – loving the line about being too cold and the Kid’s response about not needin’ to know everything. Heyes does like to go over the top with his plans, but the Kid is right about not having a sheriff remember you because you made him to be a fool. Boy, they’re getting to eat about as good as we did on Christmas (but we had wine instead of the good whiskey). You gave the Kid a lot of good lines in this story, Rosie Annie! Wonderful challenge! cowboyclap

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Thu Jan 04, 2018 1:59 pm

Comments on December challenges

Who knew there were so many ways to use TIN! Seems like you writers found December's challenge highly motivaTIN'. jocolor


Maz - Oh! I sure like this beginning to what I hope is a MUCH longer story. Theodore Ignatius Newton - Stroke of genius, Maz. So, you ARE planning to continue this, huh? Soon? merryC


Nebraska Wildfire - It's hard to think of the guys as being separated. Glad they were able to get together for Christmas! Merry Christmas to you too, NW! presents


WichitaRed - Another exciting adventure for the Devil's Hole Gang! I like the playful banter between the gang members and how Curry is always keeping the peace. Great challenge! candycane


nm131 - Your challenge had me giggling with HH giving the Kid a kick in the shin, and then had me all choked up with sentimental memories of a family that was, and also a family that might be. This was not only a creative "Tin" challenge but a wonderful Christmas story too. wreath


RosieAnnie - Great idea! I chuckled heartily at some really wonderful lines-- the "nightcap," the "parts" warming up, and the confusion over David Copperfield. Your challenge leaves me asking, "Please, Miss Rosie, may we have some more?" santachim


Penski - Trouble just seems to follow the fellas, doesn't it? Love the story of Tin Cup! Both your story, and the historical one. ssleigh

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Thu Jan 04, 2018 2:10 pm

Wichita Red - Oh my! excited You were mighty busy in December. Thought I had commented on all the challenges and then found that you'd written TWO MORE! wow

I enjoyed reading both of your extra challenges and especially enjoyed the one in the "Too Quiet" thread. The opening line is really good. This might be my favorite piece that you have written. cool

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Jan 09, 2018 6:33 am

Maz - That was a cute one! Love how they're talking about writers and then... gotta go!

applause

RosieAnnie - I'm so glad Harry Briscoe came in from the cold to chat with you. Was lots of fun hearing Harry's side to the story, but I had to laugh that he told the reporter very little of what he wanted to hear. I can definitely see Harry easily getting off topic. Loved it!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Jan 09, 2018 6:17 pm

Maz - As usual you can write naturally witty in-character banter between the partners like no other. Heyes is wrong though, in part, I distinctly remember reading at least one post amnesty story from you but he's right in that there was no career as doctor, politician, or lawyer for Heyes.

RosieAnnie - I'm always delighted to read a story where Harry Briscoe makes an appearance as he is one of my favorite recurring characters. You nailed him in this story, very well done. The reporter must have grinding his teeth at the end of the interview but it certainly made an entertaining story of the Brimstone incident for the reader.
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