Alias Smith and Jones Writers

A forum devoted to writers of Alias Smith and Jones Fan Fiction
 
HomePortalGalleryFAQSearchRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Calico

avatar

Posts : 538
Join date : 2012-04-22
Age : 52
Location : Birmingham

PostSubject: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Sat Sep 02, 2017 2:31 am

TIME FOR A NEW THREAD ... just over the fifteen page target.
egcat egcat egcat egcat egcat egcat egcat egcat



1) WichitaRed

Darling Wheat, putting someone as short sighted as moi on look out. Ooooh, so next month we get to see how the three stooges get off the roof. Thinks hard about next month challenge. Maybe.


2) Cal

Ooooh, discolated shoulder, ouch!
Come on, Kid! You can always jig your way out of a no gun town, smile. Ahah, the guns go up on the roof. I see.
Good heavens above! You are planning a Nekkid Kid rant! Way to make folk tune in for next episode. This better be the real thing and not just feeling nekkid without his side piece.

3) NM

That song. Huzzah … this used to be the BA advert didn’t it? Love it.

I am really liking the first person voice in this story. Oh, yes. Nice and subtle – Kid feels trapped without a future too. You dear boys. And a good deed gets repaid with a character affidavit years later. Loved that NM.



4) Nebraska Wildfire

Hey! It is our bandanny wearer! Very stylish knot there Wildfire.

Ah, a recognised bounty hunter. Perfect kick off point. Heyes hungry too? Poor old Kid must be hollow as a drum.
You know what – after all the disbelief, you’d think they’d consider changing their aliases. They are going to mend the roof. Hope they get better weather than my roofers did. Liking the picture of our sweaty boys hauling shingles. Sigh.
Awww, wise comfort from our boys for the youngster.
Very nice.

[NB: For any newbies – current bandanny winner never included in the poll.]




5) Maz

Maz??? On the board?? Is she lost?

Good coffee quip from Preacher. Snirt.
So – what the hell did happen up on that roof?


6) Cac

Oh we love them up on that Wickenberg roof.
Oh yes! Can we get photo’ed with Kid in a fake gunslinger outfit??? Pleeeease.
Or – for Maz – maybe in the speedos??


7) Cornelia May

Welcome back Cornelia. You’ve been rifling the old west dictionary, huh? Let’s see. Please can I go live in a town called Hopeless. Blusteration. Perfect for Wheat. Bless him.

I feel sorry for Bronc. He tricked them fair and square. Tut, Heyes!
Love the vocabulary tag line! That goes for all of us, huh?



8) Penski


They can’t know much about our two boys if they’re surprised they only have ten dollars on them. Snirt.
Love Kid admitting he sometimes wonders himself why they retired.
Clever Heyes – mutual benefit for all in getting them out of jail.

Dear Lom. Any story with him in is always fine with me.
Back to top Go down
Cal

avatar

Posts : 218
Join date : 2016-01-06
Age : 58
Location : Wales UK

PostSubject: One mans....   Sun Sep 03, 2017 12:54 pm

Dream on Calico...I recently read a story that put Kid in a pair of Speedos... I don't think I could go the full nekkid...

Maz.... Early bird posting...I like it!

I only have one issue with this delightful tale.... KID! YOU LEFT IT IN AN OLD CARDBOARD BOX IN THE LOFT!!!!!   I think he should have framed it.... That aside however....excellent choice of treasure and loved meeting the family.... a grandson, named for a gunslinger, with a liking for cats.... hum... wonder if he's a Calico ancestor.... glad Kid's reflexes are still quick enough to avoid Jed taking a fall... and I bet Kid can't believe no one shot him!
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 37
Join date : 2016-10-31
Location : East of the Mississippi

PostSubject: Trash and Treasures   Sun Sep 03, 2017 8:18 pm


Maz:
  I really enjoyed seeing the three generations together, that the Kid lived a long and seemingly peaceful life.  I also liked that I wasn't certain which of them it was until the last line.  I also wonder that it was in the attic, but after so many years (hopefully) maybe it had been misplaced.
Back to top Go down
sistergrace

avatar

Posts : 501
Join date : 2012-04-22
Location : Devil's Hole

PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Wed Sep 06, 2017 9:56 am

Finishing up my comments on the August challenges before I begin on September's.

InsideOutlaw - Your challenge was a lot of fun to read.  The Westernisms were a great idea.  Loved the ressurection of "Hotchkiss and Rembacker" and also the deliberate revealing of their real names at the end.


Penski -  A good story idea, great lines from both HH and KC, and a wonderful ending!  Well done, Penski!

_________________
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.
Back to top Go down
Cornelia May

avatar

Posts : 69
Join date : 2013-01-10
Age : 21
Location : Gettysburg, PA

PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Fri Sep 08, 2017 5:31 pm

Minor typo there Calico. I believe the story you gave me credit for was written by InsideOutlaw.

_________________
"The only thing in life you have to earn is love, everything else you can steal." ~Hannibal Heyes
Back to top Go down
InsideOutlaw

avatar

Posts : 802
Join date : 2012-04-22
Age : 61
Location : Colorado

PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Sat Sep 09, 2017 9:03 am

Sorry I've been gone so much. Hopefully, real life will settle down soon and I can enjoy some great stories you all have been posting.

In case anyone's interested, here is a previously posted link to some western slang: http://www.legendsofamerica.com/we-slang.html

WichitaRed: You are still managing to keep your Destiny's Child going--impressed! Lol, too funny Wheat would give a Sharps to a nearly-blind man and then post him as lookout. Heyes had a right to be angry, but wasn't he the one to put Wheat in charge? LOLOL

Cal: Love all the great names used in this one. Kid had a tough choice to make. We all know Curry doesn't like to be separated from his hardware, but fortunately it worked out well for both of them.

NM131: Loved everything about this one! Inga Jewel provided great insight into our heroes with her own sad tale. I agree with the Kid--getting out in nature is the only way to feel truly free. Your story plays into them being called modern day Robin Hoods because they help the common people out with some of their hard won, easily lost gains. Do they do it out of a desire to help or a need to appease their conscience?

Sistergrace: Your story certainly fit this prompt. Funny how we all remember things differently. I love the opening lines with Grandpa Newman gently chiding and Heyes reverting to outlaw leader character.

NebraskaWildfire: If anyone knows about turning away from darkness, it's our two heroes. It's good that they could have a positive effect on their old friend's family.

Maz: I'm hoping we all get to find out what the hell happened, Lol.

Cac: Too funny, the Kid in a speedo. I hope he looked good, not too many guys do. Love that you set it in Ocean City; I lived there until I moved west. So he got some Mack & Manco's, but no Taylor pork roll??

Penski: I enjoyed the irony of Lom being the one to assure the deputy his past wouldn't disqualify him from his future plans. I did find myself hoping Riley would get what he deserved. Maybe his voters will deliver justice.

_________________
*****************

"You can only be young once. But you can always be immature." —Dave Barry
Back to top Go down
nm131

avatar

Posts : 85
Join date : 2012-05-04
Location : New Jersey, USA

PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Mon Sep 11, 2017 5:32 pm

Cal - Kid, dear Kid, I know you're not stupid. Although,you can certainly be gullible, especially to damsels who appear to be in distress. And of course, Heyes is convincing and he most definitely is going to spin the tale to his advantage. Loved your insights into Gracie - she'll be running the whole shebang by Christmas and My, my, but she’s a class act. ... You saw the way she reeled me in, talking about Bannerman detectives and having me checked out by a Sheriff. What a woman. It was almost a privilege to see a real professional spinning a web like that. Well it would have been, if I hadn’t ended up in jail. ‘Course, I ended up a few nicer places before that but a gentleman never tells.

panda Thanks for the inventive letter from Kid Curry regarding an episode that isn't usually on my to watch list.

stage jail
Back to top Go down
Penski
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 1208
Join date : 2012-04-22
Age : 56
Location : Northern California

PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Sep 12, 2017 3:33 pm

Maz – I love how you wrote the challenge so we weren’t sure who was who until almost the end.  Love little Jed and can imagine he was similar to his namesake when he was four years old.  You always have to go through a box and not assume there’s just rubbish in it.  Aww… he got “Am-ness-tee”.  Loved it!


 applause  


Cal – I do like the Big Shell Game, but haven’t watched it in a while.  Kinda reminds me of another Newman/Redford movie.  Oh, a letter… we get to hear the Kid’s side of the story.  I can definitely see Grace Turner joining Soapy’s gang.  Loving how Heyes got the Kid outta town before Kenndry saw him.  You’re not stupid, Kid, but you do have one very clever partner.  Great read!

_________________
h
"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry
Back to top Go down
cac



Posts : 87
Join date : 2016-03-16

PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Thu Sep 14, 2017 1:18 pm

WR-

"Nice pistol."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then Kid's incredible line at the end. FREAKING HILARIOUS.
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 37
Join date : 2016-10-31
Location : East of the Mississippi

PostSubject: One man's trash ...   Fri Sep 15, 2017 11:59 pm

Cal:  I never felt so sorry for the Kid.  I didn't really ever feel sorry for him while I was watching the episode.  It was not the worst situation in which the boys had ever found themselves, unfortunately.  But when Heyes sent him looking for Mary Shelley, I knew things were going to go from bad to worse.  Of course, you redeemed Heyes in the end, and the Kid came out all right, so I should be happy...

WichitaRed:  This one was absolutely hilarious.  Poor Wheat. I wanted to feel sorry for Heyes, but the Kid kept trying to warn him.  He knew better, of course, always does.  I did love the end where he, as usual, makes the best of the situation, and simply owns it, with the Kid simply shaking his head.
Back to top Go down
Nebraska Wildfire

avatar

Posts : 37
Join date : 2016-10-31
Location : East of the Mississippi

PostSubject: One man's trash -- overspill area   Sun Sep 17, 2017 9:27 pm

Wichita:  Thank you for the kind comments.  I've heard it said you should write what you know.  I definitely know the plains, having lived on them my entire life.   Writing about their childhood lets me use that.

The bunnies kept hopping this month, and I came up with a second story on the Valparaiso arc, that fit the prompt.  I've posted it in the overspill area, if anyone is interested.
Back to top Go down
Penski
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 1208
Join date : 2012-04-22
Age : 56
Location : Northern California

PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    Tue Sep 19, 2017 2:18 pm

WichitaRed – Very nice visuals with Heyes clean and barefoot and the Kid stripping off the dirty clothes.  Great way to start a story!  OUCH – Wheat didn’t come off the roof easily.  Yeah, I can see where folks would be a bit upset with their leader.  Now there’s a Hannibal Heyes plan that I’m not too sure of (and neither is the Kid).  Oh, oh, I smell trouble.  Oh, now we have another lovely visual.  LOL… “nice pistol”.  What a fun challenge!


applause


Nebraska Wildfire – Poor Sarah doesn’t sound like she had the best marriage.  I like this picture of the Valpraiso with kind, but struggling financially sisters.  Nice to think that Heyes and the Kid would try their best to help out the orphanage with donations.  They came to deliver Mary knowing she’d have a decent life.  What a nice homecoming for the boys.  That was a very sweet challenge.

_________________
h
"Do you ever get the feeling that nothing right is ever going to happen to us again?" - Kid Curry
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to    

Back to top Go down
 
Awestruck comments 2nd Sept 17 to
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Awestruck Comments - Open 16th Sept 2013 - Closed 13th June 2014
» Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15
» Awestruck Comments
» Twilight Dragons - Sept. 2012
» Norwich 23rd Sept 2012

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Alias Smith and Jones Writers  :: The Writing Spot :: The Story Challenge :: Awestruck Comments-
Jump to: