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 Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016

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Penski
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Mon Oct 03, 2016 7:01 pm

Two excellent stories right out of the gate!

Little Bluestem – Oh, a haunted hotel.  Nice setting for a spooky story.  scaredtodeath  Good descriptive writing – I feel like I’m there, too.  Oh, oh, what’s that in the kitchen?  A frightened young gal?  Could it be a… Nah.  Lucky gal wearing the Kid’s sheepskin.  So Mary was a…  And his missing jacket it… I’d high-tail it outta there, too.  OH, loving the ending!  Wonderful challenge, Little Bluestem!   applause

Rosie Annie – Rosie wrote… YAHOO!   cool   An old man and his grandson on a trip sounds like a great adventure.  Loving how you describe the way into the Hole.  How sad about the Army destroying it and leaving it in ruins.  So the old man is… Love how he suggests what happened to Heyes and Curry.  Or running a hotel or being a lawyer as far west as they can get, huh?  Heck, Curry could even be in Michigan.  Tadpole is a Thaddeus.  Aww… looking for ghosts amongst the ruins.  Love how you wrote this.  I’m not 100% sure if it’s Heyes or Curry, but guessing Heyes because of what Mr. Peterson said.  You haven’t written for a while, Rosie Annie, and you didn’t lose it.  Love your writing!   two thumbs

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Tue Oct 04, 2016 2:01 pm

Comments from the September challenges:

WichitaRed - Good cliffhanger!  poker The insight into Kid's thoughts makes this piece even more intense.  cigar

Alias Alice - Nice to see you back, Alice.  grouphug This is a cute story.  But I'm thinking young Jed Curry won't have long to wait before the gals are lining up for miles to share their candy with him.candyv

Cal - Kid Curry would have been great at this job.  I've always known he is truly divine. Very Happy  Good story, Cal!two thumbs

Cornelia May - Awww, too cute!  Especially the ending. applause  Hope you've chased your writers' block far, far away.thumbsup


Ghislaine Emrys - Great take on the prompt! reading  Loved it.cool


Penski - Very good story, Penski! cowboyclap  I especially love the ending!safe


Tcalleen - Welcome to the forum, Tcalleen!  hellowave I'm glad you decided to join in the writing fun. You captured young Jed and Hannibal nicely.  Before Heyes writes his memoirs, a little bit of authentic experience might be helpful.  I hear it's the only kind to have!sm


BeeJay - I'm glad that was a false start funeral.  minz  I was pretty sad to see Silky go.  The rest of the story was certainly NO false start.  Well written from start to finish. 2thumbs :

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PostSubject: Ghosts   Tue Oct 04, 2016 4:15 pm

Great story, RosieAnnie! So gentle and poignant. I felt like it was Heyes all the way through, just from the things he said and also the way he said them. The fact that he asked his grandson to be named after his old partner convinced me. Love the nickname Tadpole for Thaddeus, too. Seems like the kind of thing Heyes would come up with. Beautifully written. applause
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Alias Alice



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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Thu Oct 06, 2016 3:22 am

False Start

Tcalleen
Thanks for this story of the boys as youngsters - both very appealing and cute in their different ways. And you make it easy to see how their characters and relationship will be when they grow up!

BeeJay
I did enjoy this very funny and humourous story! Not often you want to laugh about a funeral. But thank goodness Silky wasn't really dead!
Particularly liked the lines about the children in Calico's stories. And about what could happen to Clem's photo concerning a lit match! But it was all very funny.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Thu Oct 06, 2016 7:58 pm

Penski False Start
Loved the newspaper article idea, very clever and Heyes reaction are great. Especially the part where he has to boast, that he can open the safe. Really fun. Thanks for sharing.

Tcalleen False Start

Welcome to our writing group and thank you for your efforts and submitting.
Only the great and wiley, Hannibal Heyes, would be writing his memoirs as a child. Too funny!
A fun peek into the childhood that helped make the man we all love.

BeeJay False Start
Had me as confused as the minister about what was going on, which was grand fun. Liked the ending and I agree completely with Hey-- I mean Joshua.




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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Thu Oct 06, 2016 8:33 pm

Little Bluestem Ghosts
Great bantering at the beginning of your tale, love the "Since when are you polite?"
You have their voices down so well, I can almost see them both shamefacedly holstering their pistols in unison.
Question: What does taking the mickey out of a couple of strangers mean?

RosieAnnie Ghosts
Figured out your trick early on, but kept reading with a grin, waiting for you to reveal your cards. Cleverly done and a rather charming tale. Thanks.
This is a rather intersting observation.... I like it...“He says, even though you talk all the time, you don’t really say anything. He says you’re the most close-mouthed talker he ever knew.”

CorneliaMay Ghosts
Just love the whole intro into Heyes' story. The voices of the men can be heard so clearly, and I agree with Hank...hurty up... this sounds right interesting. And, it was too. Interesting enough to keep the boys out of their own beds. Cool read, thanks.




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Cal

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PostSubject: Ghosts   Fri Oct 07, 2016 10:47 am

Lots of lovely ghosty stories already....and loving the Halloween look to the site...

LittleBluestone - ooh I'm seeing the Bates Motel building from the Universal back lot.....I ain’t afraid of no ghosts,...are we channelling Ghostbusters? They have money? that is rare. The rain continued to plink steadily against the slate roof tiles, I love the word PLINK....I'm pinching that! Wailing? scared Oh...lucky Mary...I dreamt I was wrapped in that sheepskin last night....oooh vanishing Mary....ooooooo a grave in the cemetry.....AWW what?...guess the fellas aren't flush anymore.... Great ghosty story could see that all happening. well done LittleBluestone.

RosieAnnie - “Are we there yet?” - mother of four here turning white with fear....those words strike fear into any parents heart. OK hooked...an old outlaw returning to Devils Hole....how interesting....and full of ghosts...CLEVER....the spirits you see here would be anything but holy....made me laugh and think of Preacher...My own child. Where did I go wrong with her?...that's Heyes the synic not help the needy Kid...Am I right?...they liked boring. Their lives were pretty exciting the rest of the year....this is gentle and charming...lovely to read RosieAnnie...fab names...fab read all round...well done.

WitchitaRed....more Destiny's cycle....more beautiful descriptive writing....oh we're in Heyes' head this time...loving the Macbeth quote. oooh swirling vapour and the tang of blood.... scared ...ghosty alert....Men swathed in blood drenched clothing, and their eyes, their cold, haunted, soulless eyes were boring accusingly into his cousin.   ....ooooh errr...I don't like zombie movies...Hah...Billy thinks Heyes is after him...“Partner!?” I'm with Kid.....well behind him to be precise....couldn't find a sofa in the bar....oh good Heyes is heading out....its all that stench.....good word...of death......enjoyed that Haloweenfest....and well done you for sticking with the theme.

Nelia - outlaw days horray!....Halloween at Devils Hole where else....can't beat a Heyes coffee reference...story tellin and Wheat's goading Heyes lol..."Who's grave?" the Kid asked. we're all asking Kid...haha...Kid thinks he should even know where the dead women are...oooo haunted leaders cabin  scared “There’s no such things as ghosts,” Kid muttered....lol Kids getting all the best lines this month..A shadow of a woman passed behind the shade. ...haha Heyes and Kid bunking in the bunk house....we'll go tuck them in won't we guys?....loved that Nelia...another lovely Halloween challenge.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Fri Oct 07, 2016 8:27 pm

Wichita Red – Well, I didn’t expect that to happen. Poor Heyes having to experience that. I loved that Kid realized Heyes was seeing something different and tried to call him back. The situation sure turned on Billie. Very spooky! reaper

Cornelia May – Oh, the gangs gathered together for some ghost stories. I bet Heyes would be an excellent teller for a tale. What a tragic story of the Parkers. So Heyes heard Sarah humming, but the Kid hadn’t? A very Halloweeny story – thank you. tombstone

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Fri Oct 07, 2016 10:35 pm

Finishing up with September's stories...


Penski: Love the opening newspaper article -- it sounded real authentic!  This is a real fun story and very believable.  And true to form, Heyes has the Kid doing most of the dirty work.  Many thanks for including one of my all-time favorite HH quotes: There's a formula for everything.

tcalleen: Aww, childhood stories are always so sweet.  What a wonderful first story!  This writing thing -- you got this!  You wrote Han and Jed's personalities completely true to form. Great line here: “Dontcha have to have some first?”  Jed asked thoughtfully. Loved the humor and I look forward to reading lots more stories from you.  This certainly wasn't a false start on your part! A belated welcome to the Writers' Gang!

Beejay: Oh phew -- before I got to the 11th paragraph, I thought I was reading about Heyes' funeral.  Fun nod to a certain feline writer.  Clever story and I can definitely picture Silky doing something like that -- is he a fan of Mark Twain, too?  I appreciate these lines: “But Silky, you’re alive,” said the Kid.  “I know that.”

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Sat Oct 08, 2016 2:24 am

Any awestruck comments - please move along to the newly opened area.

Toddle along now...

Nice new thread right next door.

This thread is all full up and needs a little rest. sleepup

Don't want the board getting all poorly with an over full thread do we.

Right next door ladies... brb

There we go. goodbye

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