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 Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016

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Calico

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Sun Mar 06, 2016 12:41 am

And, here I am with the rest of my comments for February...



7) InsideOutlaw

I’m concerned your story implies beer is not supposed to be warm. English confused frown.
‘Boss Mare’ – y’know what – that would make a good board name.

Is that the dang pink pirate shirt you’re tearing up Inside? There’ll be ructions from the Kidettes.




8) Maz

Hey, if it isn’t one of those boss mare Kidettes!
A cat house??? Ohhhhhh – a cat house. sorrykitty
Double OHHHHHHH! A CAT house! Which of you boys wants the Calico?
Missed me, Kid!
Snicker Maz. Something about the misunderstanding reminds me of a London bunny bounce. Sigh – those were the days.



9) Penski

Poor old Kid. And he’s losing it too. Everyone knows we gals keep our guns in our garters not in our bags.
I think you just want him injured in every possible way so you can nurse him, Penski. Poor little outlaw – limp limp, sneeze sneeze.



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Alias Alice



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PostSubject: Seeing is Believing   Mon Mar 07, 2016 5:57 am

Cal

Cal, You've done it again! - You've posted part of a story that makes us long to know what happens next! Just like your entry last month. Well, what did happen next, after the posse seemed to be coming towards the boys? Have you written it yet? If not, hurry up! If you have - where can we see it??!!

Loved all this! - how the boys watched what was going on with the posse below. -Sure they'll help the wounded gang-member. - Loved poor old Heyes's sleepiness (all Kid's fault, of course), and fall from his horse!

Well -what DID happen next? (And the same question applies to last month's entry. Don't keep us in suspense!)
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Cal

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PostSubject: leaving people dandling   Mon Mar 07, 2016 9:33 am

Hi Alias Alice
Thanks for the feed back....love it:thankyou:
I don't mean to leave anyone dangling as I'm the worst for wanting stories to be finished...I get all twitchy if a story has one of those dah dah daaaaah! endings....like does Kid come back for Rosa?  you know that sort of thing.  hehehehe.  I've been posting my stories on...
http://asjbuckshot.forumotion.com/f32-general-stories  last months was a two hander with C D Roberts...I wrote the first part called "what a man's gotta do"...I edited it right down to get the gunfight for last month...so you can find a longer version...then theres the bit where Kid goes off on the mine pay roll run with Flatnose...but BeeJay takes up the story and shows Heyes and Kid in full Griff mode getting even with Marsden...Grift Graft.  The story this month isn't edited...just fitted the challenge really well...its also a two parter (both written) called Den of Thieves.



Your lovely story

I think if Kid fell in love for real like that he would try and protect his love from their precarious life...what a clever angle for Rosa to see this from another point of view. Five kids in ten years...yes that would change a girl into a woman all right. That's a harsh lesson for a young girl.
Did you take this from a longer piece of writing?
In other words I want to know more.
Best compliment I can pay a writer. cowboyclap
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Penski
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Mon Mar 07, 2016 8:29 pm

Cal – I really enjoyed watching the pursuit of the posse along with Heyes & the Kid, especially how the boys were cheering on and giving suggestions to the outlaws. Oh no, it can’t be! Dang bullet! And now our boys are in possible danger. Lots of good action writing!

Alias Alice – Aww… Kid is in love again, but it seems like the real thing this time. He’s right – wouldn’t be right to put his love one in danger. Oh, a glimpse at the kind of life she was demanding. Definitely seeing was believing here.


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Alias Alice



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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Tue Mar 08, 2016 4:08 am

Hi Cal,

Thanks very much for your reply telling me where to find your writing. I've promised myself the treat later of settling down to read it!

Thanks also for your lovely comments on my entry for this month!

Does Kid come back for Rosa? I don't really know!

But thanks again for texting.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Thu Mar 17, 2016 10:15 am

Hi all,

I'm trying to get back into the habit of commenting. I know how important comments are to a writer. My deepest apologies for being awol for so long. Now, on to March's stories so far...

Cal - I loved Heyes falling off his horse asleep! I also loved watching the posse from the boys point of view and how they were yelling pointers to the outlaws. And the point you stopped at makes me want to read more :)

Alias Alice - Poor Rosa. She just doesn't understand life on the outlaw trail. Good thing she ran into that friend of hers that opened her eyes. I too am left wondering if the Kid returned for her. :)

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Alias Alice



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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Wed Mar 30, 2016 11:33 pm

MoulinP
Thanks for this very funny and enjoyable story. You seem to have got the gang-members just right - just as they appear in the series! Nice to see Kyle at the centre of a story. And Wheat.
Very, very enjoyable! Thanks for posting!

Ty
So the tale of the baby goat and his friend Haze continues! I wonder if you are always going to write about the boys as this from now on. Very different!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Thu Mar 31, 2016 5:53 pm

Moulin P – Oh, I love outlaw story!  Love how the gang is so easily distracted while Heyes is trying to tell them the details of the next job.  Gotta love Kyle!  Boats?  This should be an interesting tale. Yep, you didn’t disappoint.  Loved it!

Ty Pender – Poor little Kid!  I’m not sure I’d trust Farmer Briggs, Haze.  Guessing there will be a chapter 4.

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Ghislaine Emrys
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Thu Mar 31, 2016 10:59 pm


Still have to go back and read last month's stories but when I realized I could read this month's challenges and not be late with comments, I decided to go for it.  sm



Cal: Really enjoyed the suspense in this story and look forward to reading the rest.  Has it been posted somewhere yet or are you waiting for April?

Alias Alice: Nice contrast between the two women.  This story kind of reminded me of the ghost of Scrooge's future -- too bad Rosa couldn't have been more patient.

MoulinP: Poor Heyes -- loved how the gang got distracted by food options.  Escaping by boat was a really clever twist and…pirates indeed!

Ty Pender: I'm afraid this story was too esoteric for me.  Were the animals real animals?  Was Curry having a bad dream about Joe Briggs?  I couldn't quite figure this one out…   huh

Penski: So glad this had a happy ending!  Well, for Curry and Heyes anyway.  Excellent use of the prompt!

ETA: Now that I've gone and read the prior comments for the March stories, I see where Cal's story is posted and I believe (ha ha!) that I'll have to go and read all the earlier parts of Ty's story in order to understand it completely.  Very Happy

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Cal

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PostSubject: Seeing is believing   Fri Apr 01, 2016 2:01 am

Sheesh! Thank goodness for you last minute crew... I was beginning to feel I found something precious and had played with it till I broke it! Wouldn't be the first time...

MoulinP - I'm already on a second reading  - and I think I'll be reading this a lot more times- its a real pick you up. Comedy is hard and you've struck just the right note.  As soon as you describe Heyes ...'Smugly' and referencing Hannibal the great general ...the word campaign   I get hints of Captain Manwareing in Dads Army, and I'm set up for slap stick and situation laughs. All he's missing is the little stick under his arm. Dissension in the ranks ...Kids attempts to bring them to order...after that its a mad chucklefest....thanks soooo much for posting ....very enjoyable.

Ty pender - Its back to "kid" and Haze right ...and the bad guy Briggs ....he was the worst bad guy of the series, wasn't he? ...I know Danny was awful, but he wasn't oily with it ...Is a rodeo clown goat a real thing? ...we don't have rodeos ...we have sheep dog trials ...if this is my bed time story then I'm going to imagine cwtching up to the kid in a snuggly pen surrounded by a warm Haze ....job done!

Penski -SPOILER ALERT -  I'm just getting all motherly and thinking Heyes is eating well ...that's good ...and you hit me with THAT! .....They split up ....never split up! They know better than that ...I do not want to see the stain on the floorboards ...Heyes and me are both hoping this is going to work out Penski ...on display! ..photo  ...you got me ...forgiven ...that was a ride! I think I liked it ...I'm not much for angst ...I'll like it when I get over the scare...
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Calico

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:24 am


1) Cal

Properly first out of the gate there, huh, Cal?
Oooh – a good wallow in ‘hard done by’ – we all like one of those every so often. Very, very pacy writing Cal. We all want Haff and his brave little pony (isn’t that some kinda girls’ toy ) to escape!!


2) Alias Alice

Who’s this sobbing over Kid, then? Is she an authorised and registered Kidette, because – I hear those gals have a strict rotation policy. Oh, poor Amy – all worn out and child ridden. So, will the Kid ever go back? Win him with a bandanny and I guess it’s all up to you Alice.


3) MoulinP

Ah yes – the poor old Donner Pass party ate their shoes. First.
You can’t miss out the sole! Best part.
What goes on lakes?? -DUCKS!
I’m loving the painful briefing banter, Moulin. Poor old HH. You just can’t get the staff.
Oh, poor Kyle. Mind you – we could all see it coming. Kyle is always an asset to a story – yup, the dead pirates musta been away to the left. Smile.



4) Ty pender


Hmmmm.
So… we are continuing with the baby goat theme. Recaught and rerunning. Surely his conversation with Haze is a tad like the one last night? Me thinks – like a goat – Ty can make this run and run??? You do tease us you tinker – but I think next month the goat has to take up an alternative event. Snirt. OR as has been suggested take part in a sheep dog trial for a change.



5) Penski

Now, don’t fret too quickly HH – you can’t believe all you read in the papers! Oh, perfect timing on the reveal, Penski. Beautifully visual. Bless them both.
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Alias Alice



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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Fri Apr 01, 2016 12:12 pm


Penski)

Great story! I loved it!

A nice reminder of how the boys have to have each other around. Not that we need a reminder, come to think of it, but still nice to have it spelled out for us! Poor Heyes- what a shock! Still, all's well that ends well, thank goodness. And, once again, a really great read for us. Thanks!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Fri Apr 01, 2016 3:52 pm

Moulin P - I loved this! I felt so bad for the aggravated Heyes trying to explain his next plan to that bunch. Clever plan to use the boats. Of course somebody would fall off. I'd liked to have heard the conversation once everyone was safely back at the Hole.

Ty Pender - This is definitely one of the stranger ASJ stories I've read. Haze just always has a way to make the Kid feel better. Cute!

Penski - What a way to start a day off, seeing that headline. I can imagine the range of emotions Heyes was going through. I half expected him to give the sheriff a visit once he got to El Dorado and heard the story. But then, you twist it and give us a happy ending. Loved it!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Sat Apr 02, 2016 9:53 pm

Welcome back to writing, nm131 - you haven't lost it!  In fact, I would compare you to the excellent writers we have on this site.

I, too, thought of that song  bottle when I heard the challenge, but couldn't do anything with it like you did.  Loved how the resourceful Kid came up with a good way to dispose of the flat beer.  Nice how even Heyes joined in at the end.  Love Preacher and he was very much in character for this story.  Great job - I give it TWO thumbs UP!  two thumbs

Thanks for the notes at the end.  I have fond memories of singing that song on long family trip and school field trips.

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Cal

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PostSubject: One Hundred   Sun Apr 03, 2016 11:35 am

nm131 - Another mad romp with the DHG members - love these.  As a mum of four, I have to say these sorts of songs drive me crazy ....remember Whoopi in Ghost!  Now if I had Kid singing 99 bottles of beer instead of Patrick singing Henery the eighth ...would I still be screaming?  Think the answer is yes, but ...I don't think you'd be able to hear much singing for all the gun fire ...and he might share the whiskey ...loved Wheat turning purple ...I would definitely be screaming SHUT UP at Kyle ...poor Kyle ...a lot of fun ...well done ...and soooo quick out of the blocks!

We get bonus reads ...Yeh! love the special one hundred idea...can I post the story I wrote in January but couldn't fangle how to post? ...that would be fun. Can't wait to see the posts on this one.

Calico  - Not sure if you meant for these stories to be commented on  - BUT - it was sooo good ...what a lovely take on the boys leaving Valpairayso (no idea how to spell that soz) I really got to know that old couple, their hopes and fears in just a few lines - there was so much more to the story than the words - such a good read - no wonder its posted here.    

                                           OH.....and my little brave pony?thrown .......Hahahahahahhahaha!.....brilliant.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Sun Apr 03, 2016 6:53 pm

nm131 - Loved the way you incorporated that song into a DHG story! At least Kid got a lot of practice out of it. Glad Heyes finally decided to join in. Good story. And yes, that song can become very annoying after about ten verses... ;)

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Mon Apr 04, 2016 7:18 am

I'm typing with two fingers of my left hand, since my right arm is broken and in a sling. Let me say that all the March writers are awesome, accomplished, and each one of you deserves to win the yellow bandanny. It's just too hard right now to write individual appreciations.


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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Mon Apr 04, 2016 11:12 am


Thank you for your message, Rosie Annie. I hope your arm is not painful at all, and that it will very soon be better.
Take care.
Xx
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Mon Apr 04, 2016 11:40 am

Cal - A very exciting opening for your "Den of Thieves" story!   cowboyclap Action packed and lots of good dialog.  Looks like a good story, Cal.

Alias Alice - I can't say I blame Rosa for falling for the Kid, but of course life on the run wouldn't be the kind of life she was really looking for.   wanted Good that she ran into Amy so her old friend could be the living proof of that.  Nice tale with a lesson.

MoulinP - Your dialog for the boys of the DHG had me giggling.  I really loved this line:  Wheat tutted. “We’re outlaws! Not pirates!” He spat the last word. If he was leader, he thought, we wouldn’t be doing no sailing. And just for the record, I think Curry and Heyes would make excellent pirates! sm Arrrrgh!


ty pender - I have to say I look forward to your bedtime tales of the "Kid" and Haze.   two thumbs Good thing Farmer Briggs only asked the little goat to run, instead of doing a jig.  

Penski - I'm glad the Kid's not REALLY dead!  A very nice "Easter-ish" feel to your March challenge.  HappyEaster  Well done, Penski.

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nm131

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PostSubject: Calico's Favorite Challenge Story   Mon Apr 04, 2016 3:34 pm

I am very interested to see what everyone picks as their personal favorite, especially those who have scores of choices.

Calico study purr I have read your stories multiple times, some too many times to even estimate a count over the years. I would not have guessed this excellent offering would be your pick, since I primarily associate you more lighthearted fare.

However, when you do get serious and tug the ole' heart strings, it winds up a symphony of tears and feels. sorrykitty I remember this story well, it is one of the ones that really got to me and I confess I don't read it often as it just too heartbreaking on so many levels. It must have been very hard for you to choose and this is an excellent choice.

Now to get more tissues.
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PostSubject: Maz Favorite Challenge Story   Mon Apr 04, 2016 3:59 pm

I come back to ASJ fandom for some fun. The extra 100 favorite challenge story entry sounds like a great idea. It still is but What are you guys doing to me with the first two posts!

Maz, you are another author writing whose stories I come back to time after time, year after year. As a fellow Kidette and a sucker for h/c and lighthearted banter I look forward to each story you write. I've read them all.

No What do we get posted? Great, very in character dialogue that I can hear in my head easily. So much said about their history, the boys hopes and dreams crashing into reality, and the special bond between the partners that communicates the unspoken messages clearly in a story of relatively few words. There is even humor in devastating circumstances (a la Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, appropriately) but you're right it certainly isn't a funny one but I do remember it and it is worthy of being your favorite challenge story. I just hate to think that this is way things ended for Curry and Heyes. It''s a good thing there were plenty of more challenges after this one and more to come.
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PostSubject: Rosie Annie's Favorite Challenge Story   Mon Apr 04, 2016 5:53 pm

RosieAnnie - I don't think I've read these letter before so for me there was an added bonus of reading new material. You have a way of putting yourself in your character's heads and voices. I loved reading about the budding Romance of Caroline Porter and Lom. You captured humor, earnestness, and enthusiasm of Caroline and they fit in great with the tone of the pilot. Thanks this was well done. two thumbs
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PostSubject: Sister Grace's Favorite Challenge Story   Mon Apr 04, 2016 5:59 pm

Sister Grace, I'm so happy to find you still here. A kindred Kidette, I can more than relate to that reflection of the 11 year old in the story. I didn't know a thing about horses in my preteen years but I certainly became aware of a certain perfect cowboy and wanted one too! sm wow I can see why this story has a special place in you heart. Thanks for posting.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Mon Apr 04, 2016 8:33 pm

100 Extra Challenge/Favorites

Calico - I was expecting a funny from you, but this one didn't disappoint in the least. I really liked the couple. They seemed so caring and kind. Just to think, if Mr. Bauer had just went back that last time, the whole future would have changed. I think you made a fine choice.

Maz - I have to admit, this made me sad. But even after all those years, they were still together, taking care of one another. This shows their relationship well. I'd like to think they at least came out alive in the end.

RosieAnnie - I loved reading these letters. I bet Mom and Dad were about to have fits when they read them, especially about the attempted bank robbery and what came months later. I'm happy those two ended up a couple.

SisterGrace - I remember wanting a horse so badly at that age. I love the way you wrote this and I liked that the character was a female doing the work. Love the last paragraph, except I would've preferred brown eyes ;)

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck comments - from 1st Nov 2015 to ...7th Oct 2016   Tue Apr 05, 2016 7:23 am

100th challenge comments:

Calico - I remember this story so well.  How is it that in reading it this time, I find it even more compelling?  Sniff, sniff, and two thumbs up. two thumbs

Maz - Oh my goodness!  First Calico's sentimental tearjerker and now...  Such devotion, no need for fancy conversation.  This challenge was and IS excellent, Maz, and sadly, this may well have been the future for our two favorite "pretty good bad men." Sad

RosieAnnie - Even when told from only one point of view, what a precious story these letters tell!  You really did a first rate job of writing this, RosieAnnie.  GREAT challenge!
applause

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