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 Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15

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Ghislaine Emrys
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Tue Oct 07, 2014 11:25 pm

Maz, Part 2: I'm real glad you fished the story and I'm assuming Heyes got his sight back BUT…I don't really know for sure.  Heyes could just be conning Kid because he knows that Kid wouldn't have taken care of himself but rather would've been watching over him, Heyes, the whole night long.  I think that if you wanted, you could give this a twist and continue the story.  :-)

RosieAnnie: Well, this sure sounds like the start of something!  I liked the introspection and the flashbacks, especially the one about Hadleyburg.  You wrote characters real well in this story--it sure doesn't look like you got bored with this one!  :-)  (Love your new avatar, btw)

Penski: I really liked the scenes in Fort Worth and particularly their moral dilemma in deciding to steal only what they "needed."  It took a couple readings of the title before I finally got it, though--those pesky prepositions tripped me up!

Beejay: Hey, et tu, Beejay--what's with the boring teacher thing?!?  :-)  Other than that, this was hysterical!  Loved the description of California and all the wise advice by "readers," the alliteration, and of course the ending.  This story just got better and better.  Although I did think the first group's feedback was great, especially Ty's questions about the type of chocolate.

Remuda: Well, you did way better with your story than I did with mine!  (What story, readers may ask?  Er, yeah, exactly.)  I think this actually was quite clever and I love your subtitles.  Do you, in fact, plan to continue this saga?  Sure hope so!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Thu Oct 09, 2014 6:44 am

Ty Pender: Oooh, I see conflict coming! Rigged gambling machines, the end of good times at the Circle Z, Lom threatening to arrest them, and Heyes calling the current plan "foolproof." Loved the humor of Kid missing so much, and not interested in books. I'm wondering, too, where the first catalogue went. "Freedom FROM the press?" Good luck with that, boys!

Maz: What can I say, Mistress Maz, except to affirm, over and over again, that I am primarily a Heyes girl. Not interested in the Kid at all, except from a very safe distance, far far away, and with a picture of Heyes in my lap. Only appreciative of blue eyes as any disinterested stranger might be. Honestly.

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PostSubject: Congrats!   Thu Oct 09, 2014 1:41 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Oct 17, 2014 7:02 am

I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to comment on last month's stories. I read them all, but RL has been problematic for me lately and I didn't realize that I hadn't commented on the last three.

Penski: I liked reading the backstory to the Bank of Fort Worth comment and I love a good Hannibal Heyes plan. Very clever of him to only take a little. Of course, he had regrets about leaving so much--he's a crook to the core!

BeeJay: LOLOL!! Your story was so very funny and the last line was hysterical. You torture them!

Remuda: NO! This is the mother of all cliffhangers. How could you do that to us? You better not be planning to wait until the 31st to post the next part!


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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Oct 17, 2014 7:19 am

Ty Pender: Oh, oh, methinks our heroes are a little too smug about their situation. Yep, they are. Good thing Lom is watching their backs for them. I enjoyed HH's fixation with the organ machine although it sounds like its arrival bodes poorly for Lloyd. Engel's? I'll have to check that out.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Oct 17, 2014 8:38 am

Maz:  You know, having you around is enough to ensure that I keep my attentions focused firmly on Heyes.  It's dangerous to be a Kid fan, ladies!!!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Tue Oct 28, 2014 10:06 pm

Ty Pender - First of all, thanks for the synopsis at the beginning to remind us of what happened. I like how Heyes and the Kid are making plans on their way from the church to the saloon. Not sure about the disappearance of the Wards catalog... Did Heyes keep it or... you lost me there. How interesting that there was a drink "cookbook" back then that they could order drinks from. Oh, I remember the music machine in the pilot episode but I didn't recognize the music as "Do Lord". And Trevors ruins all the best laid plans the boys had with his own plan and why they have to do it his way. Thanks for the historial references at the end.

Maz - You were serious in chat when we were talking about the different gals! Maz has been seriously making some well laid plans to keep the Kid all to herself. Lucky Mary and Betsy didn't show him much interest. Very clever ways of killing off your competition, Maz!

Inside Outlaw - Loving one of the first few lines about thinking - "We do, but you ain't doin' so good with it so I felt like I had to step in." Gosh, you're giving the Kid all the good line! Loving this one, too - “You want me to lose my money? Don’t you think you givin’ them all of yours was enough?” Will sure has prove to be a worthy opponent of Heyes and Curry - I like seeing them up against someone who could be their equal. Love Will saying no to Heyes' offer and the reason why.

Sister Grace - Lovin' an angry Curry and Heyes trying to calm him down. Can't say I blame the Kid - I'd be wanting to shoot the critter, too, who was in my winter supplies. Surprised Heyes doesn't grab the gun and go after the little rodent for doing that to his hat. Fun story! Very special thanks to Lana Coombe and Ghislaine Emrys for getting Sister Grace to write a challenge!

(think that makes me finally caught up with challeges - now to get caught up in chat episode discussions)

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Thu Oct 30, 2014 3:26 pm

Beginning on my comments for October.

Ty Pender - The recap was helpful and appreciated.  When reading and commenting on all the challenges, it's easy to get story lines mixed.  You're knitting your story together nicely.  I really enjoyed the closing lines from Kid, Lom, and Heyes.  


Maz -   Lovely, violent, little tale.   Twisted Evil   I loved it. But,  scaredtodeath ... I'm thankin' my lucky stars that "Sister Grace" didn't make her appearance until Season Two!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Oct 31, 2014 7:40 am

Sistergrace: I could just picture the opening of this story thanks to the scene in the McCreedy Bust GGG and laughed out loud when I realized it was a mouse the Kid was going after. Loved the explanation for that hole in Heyes' hat! lol2

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Sat Nov 01, 2014 1:19 am

1) Ty pender
Okay, caught up with the “Previously, our dynamic duo…” recap.
Hey! We got this month’s challenge words AND a flashback to ‘foolproof’.
AH – so it’s a Montgomery Ward catalogue Kid is reading when HH is playing poker with McC. That’s where the magic saddlebags get refilled.
Is there something hidden inside that machine???? (Stay away from the slot machines, Lloyd, warning paw waves.)
Is it me, or is that chuck wagon menu kinda familiar?
You have to hide the boys? Maz has a cellar you can use.
Clever – so our boys have a new cover and a new deal. Liking the last line with it’s echoes of the Brimstone episode! Clever plot set up Ty.

2) Maz
Those ribbons are dangerous, Miss Porter – they could get caught up in the wheels of a runaway wag… Oh.
Y’know, Kid, I wouldn’t lean there watching Mary cry. That sawdust around your feet makes me suspect… Oh, Heyes has got her, never mind.
Sara, if I were you, I’d duc… Too late.
Annabelle, don’t lean too far forwar… Oh, what’s the point?
Hey, Fluffy (the snake), we did give you a nice fresh mouse this morning so you’re not too hungr…?
Mind how you go with those, packages, Betsy. And careful playing with matches.
Margaret, why don’t you step away from the wate… Sigh.
Don’t worry, Helen, she’ll let you out when she’s done kissing, Kid – call it a day or two, tops.
Rachel, why not try a cordless model? So much less to get hung about?
I’d warn you too, Michelle, but y’know – NONE of us want the musical interlude. You’re on your own.
Alice, let me give you a copy of the Government safety leaflet on working at height… Oh, that was nasty!
Utterly adored that, Maz – you Minx/
.
3) InsideOutlaw
So not only is Will wearing Heyes’ gear, he does a good southern accent too? Can’t help but like him. Mark Clemens - snirt – clever Kid.
Sheesh Heyes, carrying a hornets nest sounds kinda… Well, Inside has made it work out for you – but if the Kid gets stung there’ll be words!
Oh, good – I’m glad Heyes has recognised a close to worthy adversary and asked him to join.
Will – you are a very loveable outlaw, and smart too.
Clapping hard, Inside.

4) Penski
Oooh, I’m all caught up, Penski. Continue to trust Lom though – methinks you are toying with me.
Is Lom getting his lawman friends herding our boys in a particular direction?
AH – a machinating underling is to blame!
(I thought maybe Lom was going to herd them into South America, town by town)
Clever little ‘Who’s planning’ Penski.

5) Sistergrace
Who’s Kid gonna kill? Who?
Is it a little furry critter? Is it? ‘Cos I’ve got a puddy tat they can borrow.
AH – the best laid plans of MICE… clever
And that’s how the hat got the hole – double clever.
Exceedingly loveable short, Sister G.

6) Kid4ever
Who is this masked Kid4Ever giving us a challenge story? Smile.
A killer bunny? Shall I bring the holy hand grenade? (Three shall be the number of the counting…)
Sheesh, Maz – the timber wolves have escaped from the zoo – be very careful!
OH, it’s Helen! She will have her ReVegNey.
Surely Maz is a Series killer rather than a Serial killer – Tee Hee.
Clapping till my fiercely clawed paws are SORE, Kid.
(The only trouble is – I LOVED the original and I LOVE this too… may have to flip a rabbit paw)

7) Remuda
Another month, another wire, huh Remuda!!
Don’t let any gals nurse you, poorly Kid – bad things will happen this month!
Now, is the mouse’s stores a clue? Is a field mouse usually found close to farms / habitations? (Too subtle a clue for an hignoramouse like me, I guess.)
Awwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!! I melt in tender furriness as our strong but gentle Kid takes pity on a mouse!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Sat Nov 01, 2014 11:52 am

InsideOutlaw - This story is getting better with each installment. I really liked the banter between Heyes and Curry at the beginning.  LOVED Heyes' idea with the hornet's nest!   two thumbs And Will really IS a smart outlaw!  'Tis a gift to be simple!  I'll need to check out your longer version on ff net.  Very enjoyable. caitsh


Penski -  I'm with the Kid when it comes to trusting the governor.   37 Cynical, cynical, cynical.  Good story, Penski, and I like that Joe Jackson character too.  Maybe he should come back in another story sometime.
blackcat


Kid4Ever - Oh!  How delightfully devious! spider  I took note of the time you posted it too, just at the stroke of the witching hour.  Aaawwwooo!!!  This is really VERY good, K4E.  Sampled the wares...snirt!  You have given me new reason to love that Helen! catbroom


Remuda - Heartwarming! sunny  Liked how Heyes took care of the Kid, snfl and how Curry appreciated nature, even sharing his warmth with a wee mouse. applause  A nice warm/fuzzy story.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Sat Nov 01, 2014 3:38 pm

Catching up with the rest of you lovelies for October . . .

Inside Outlaw: I think I commented on this at the fanfiction site, but I'll just say again, I really enjoyed the Heyes/Will comparisons.

Penski: Well, so much for the amnesty! Poor Heyes and Curry. I love the dialogue between them; the bit where Curry corrects Heyes in the governor's office ("Heyes thought they were the amnesty papers"), and Heyes running through a list of occupations. Curry, as usual the pragmatist, reminding Heyes, "we don't even have amnesty yet." The only person's whose plans are still working out is the Governor, darn him.

Sister Grace: What a fun vignette! It's good to see that rule about no killing at the hole still stands! But after Heyes gets a chance to reflect, he may allow Curry to do a little target shooting.

Kid4Ever: Nice to see you here again! Maybe my favorite line: "she should have been content and stuck with the fourth vacuum." I did LOL! I love how you wove in Poe and Monty Python. Thanks for the laughs!

Remuda: Another nice short piece. Curry is still helping out the needy, isn't he? Your description of the fire slowly building as the conversation continues is vivid. I could really see myself in that place, especially since I nearly froze my butt off yesterday.

congrats to all October's writers!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Mon Nov 03, 2014 4:20 pm

Ladies and gent. I have been away on a half term holiday so apologies for not commenting on your challenges..however I did return to find suspicious footprints in the undergrowth as if someone had been lurking in the shadows. Imagine my surprise when I read Kid4ever's tale and discovered it was Helen! Sorry to inform you Helen but you were only scaring the butler! Now I know your nefarious plans...I got my eye on you.

And Grace thanks for reminding me there were other ladies in Season 2...muhaha

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Tue Nov 04, 2014 12:02 am

grouphug This shall be a marathon of comments but it should be fairly easy to do with such good material to work with two thumbs I'll probably do 3, then 4 to split things up a bit.

ty pender: I shall add my muchas gracias to the others for helping my brain keep up with your story thus far with a recap.
For a town with "nothin' goin' on," Heyes and Curry sure are busy!
Ahh...the Montgomery Wards Catalog and Kid's line about the "money back guarantee". Wonderful memories for me as a child. Loved all those pics of the toys...
And somehow we have run into a mystery of the missing catalog as well as the "magic saddlebag" theory getting an honorable mention? hmm, guess we shall have to wait to see what happens as the plot thickens.
You always introduce us to new things (or explain old) i.e. the new drink, the music machine and the song, as well as those 3 way handcuffs - I can see why Kid wants a pair.
Yummm - your selections for the meal made my tummy growl with hunger just reading them  eat
Dang - Lom's not leaving them much room to argue with, is he?
I don't blame either of them for being skeptical - sheesh.
I'm enjoying these characters and their interactions with each other.
It will be interesting to see where you lead us with your next installment
reading

*****
Next up: Maz

minz Those poor women of season one.  scaredtodeath  Who knew they were all so accident prone? It was like reading or watching an Alfred Hitchcock story!  Shocked  
I love how you used a device from each episode to secure their demise; very clever.
Despite the "grimness," I think I had a grin for most of the story as I imagined you, as your character, helping (or is that hurrying?) them along the path of their destruction.
And this is only season one...there are two more to go!
And I also have to agree with Calico's description of "Series" killer - you'd have made a formidable foe!  sm
Immediately after reading your entry that crazy bunny hopped and the rest is history for me. I just couldn't resist
Twisted Evil

*****

InsideOutlaw's turn:

Lots of great interaction/dialogue between Heyes and Kid.
Love the idee of Heyes as a beggar as he keeps watch; he even manages to get some money  sm
Ugh - with all that scratching, hope it's not lice for Heyes!
Poor Kid...even sitting there minding his own business he gets called out!
Good plot device to get Kid into their good graces.  thumbsup
Poor Heyes - now hornets - yep, glad it's nighttime or else he'd be running.
Dagnabbit - that walk-off Will took Kid's gun - now what?
And Kid's being stubborn, not going anywhere without his gun. Sigh.
Ahh, the hornets make another appearance - I had wondered about their role earlier...
Making fun of Heyes' plan? Hey, it worked, didn't it?  two thumbs
Good tying up of the loose ends. Will chose the simple life rather than join up. Too bad for them.

*****

That's it for this group. I'll work on the last 4 next.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Tue Nov 04, 2014 1:06 am

And so we continue...*with the last 3* - a slight miscalculation on MY part (guess I won't need to comment on my own story, huh?) Laughing

On deck we have Penski:

Oh no, right off the bat...a Governor. Sigh. Governor Moonlight. A deeper sigh. I have a sneaking suspicion all will not bode well for the boys.
Well, at least Lom is there. Maybe there is some hope...
Cripple Creek - I loved that place!  yes
Uh, oh...see, I knew it - there's a bad guy lurking in the shadows with evil plans for Heyes and Kid!
Amnesty? Sorry, but I'm with the Kid on this one.  Rolling Eyes
Glad to see Heyes is optimistic. Hope his optimism can keep them outta trouble. brb
Love the 'series of unfortunate events' Heyes and Curry have to go through - some pretty great creative writing getting each scene set up like that. two thumbs
I'm glad they're finally beginning to realize it isn't just a coincidence - getting pretty worried about their safety.
Whew...they got the drop on that bounty hunter finally - maybe now they'll get some answers?
Aha - it was Stanley, the secretary.
Ya know, I'm beginnin' to think secretaries are like butlers in our genre. Very Happy
Maybe they should start screening the people they hire as assistants, huh?  sm
Firing is too good for the sneaky snake - put him behind bars! jail
Nicely wrapped up with a feel good ending - they ARE good at watching each other's back!  two thumbs

*****
Next up to bat  redbat is: sistergrace

Ooohh...we begin with an angry Kid  Mad  An ARMED angry Kid.  draw
And he's in a killin' mood???? yikes  Shocked
Iffen I were Heyes, I'd just  brb  or  scared but no, Heyes is gonna talk instead; good choice, Heyes  scratch   
Kid's taking Heyes UP to the loft? (whispering) Is that where he hides the bodies? minz
ohhh...a mouse - whew - that's what's got Kid all riled up, huh?
Wouldn't it be easier to get a egcat Kid? sm
Wow, Heyes sure is taking that hole in his hat pretty well.
Loved how you had me thinking it was a person Kid was going after.
With just a slight turn you guided us towards the "mice and men" reference and their struggle for survival.
Great use of the "hole" for both the hideout and Heyes' hat (and a fun way to explain how that hole got there in the first place)

applause

Our 6th and final hitter: Remuda
Aww, poor Kid - cold, coughing and feeling miserable (just how we like him, right? In need of comfort)  yes
Maybe I should say, poor Heyes, since Kid is being kinda cantankerous. Rolling Eyes
More awww...Kid's getting worse. Makes me want to just reach out and cuddle him  Twisted Evil
Love how even when he's feeling so poorly Kid can appreciate things as well as respect how the weather can change in a moment.
A nice whimsical moment in the otherwise mundane life of an outlaw as Kid interacts with the mousie. It's that child-like quality that we all love to see sometimes. Very Happy
Bet that little critter is very happy to have such a nice place to nestle into and get warmed up.
And all's well that ends well for both the boys and the mouse as they head for warmer surroundings.
Nice way to end the challenges.
 reading

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Tue Nov 04, 2014 3:23 pm

Kid4Ever - A challenge, complete with smilies, from you!  Loving the line, "It was a time for things that go bump in the night to be out and about".  Awesome description... making me shiver with fright!  Loving the revision of "The Raven" too.  That Helen... Maz, you better hide in a corner, with your laptop so you can write a VS.  And we talk about Lorraine being crazy - she's got nothing on this crazy Helen!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Tue Nov 04, 2014 6:29 pm

Remuda - Aww... a sick Kid Curry.  So sick that he doesn't complain or move away when his partner feels his forehead.  Love the little mouse checking them out and finding its way out of the cold in a warm sheepskin pocket.  Thank goodness there's a cave nearby to get out of the cold - too bad they couldn't bring the fire they just made with them.  Cute little tail (okay... tale)!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Nov 14, 2014 12:23 am

study Well, ty pender, it's the middle of the month and so far you're the only brave soul to tackle this month's topic, huh? huh

Maybe it should be, "Hard On The Brain" instead? scratch (and I'm including myself in this one)

Well, since there is only ONE story to comment on, I guess I shall take my leisure and enjoy sharing my thoughts. (Hope ya like smilies  lol2 )

I'm enjoying your tale of the boys and the very interesting characters they're involved with. Your work is original and shows lots of creativity - as well as the fact that you've done quite a bit of research. reading Who knew some of those things existed way back then? Guess I just never gave it much thought until now. Very Happy

You also have a very clever way of turning a phrase now and then and I must say that I feel quite enlightened after reading this month's submission. You've given me quite a bit to think about Twisted Evil

thankyou Thanks a bunch for including photos; it's nice to have a visual sometimes. (On a side note, I have to admit that the shots of the various foods did tend to make my tummy growl - I AM a Curryette, ya know!) eat I LOVED those cookies - they looked like something I'd like to make.

One of my fav "little bits" was after the sheriff took a bit of cookie and tried to talk. I can just hear him trying to ask about the coffee with a mouthful.

And I am extremely envious of the coffee caddy - I want one!!! It's my fav color, too!

One of your more, shall we say "interesting" topics, was the fact that they advertised mens undergarments - who knew? Well, now we all do Twisted Evil  Can't tell ya how long that grin stayed on my face after reading through that section (nor shall I reveal how many times I've read it)  study

And I would really love to own a pair of those handcuffs - purely for historical reasons ya know  sm Too bad they don't show up more often in the westerns, they look like they'd be pretty handy.

As I read through your story, it was fun to see how you worked in the subject matter and to see how many times you managed to reference to it - great job  two thumbs

I enjoyed the "Garryowen" contribution as well as the facts I learned about the song.

As your plot continues to unravel for us readers it will be very interesting to see where you lead us next.

Again, thanks for letting us share the entertaining adventure using more than just our ability to read.
thankyou

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PostSubject: 'Hard on the Brain'   Fri Nov 14, 2014 5:19 pm

Thanks for rave review - but I'm not sure I have a brain huh

'And I am extremely envious of the coffee caddy - I want one!!! It's my fav color, too!'
The women are all busy with hard labor while the men are eating cookies, carrying fancy liquor caddies ( huh), and lounging in bed shopping for underwear?  Tsk tsk.

'...you've done quite a bit of research. Who knew some of those things existed way back then? Guess I just never gave it much thought until now.'
Ah yes, things of historical significance.... If anyone wants to see what struck Curry's interest in the catalogue (but not Heyes' interest) - PM me. It isn't PG rated (ta) and so could not be pictured. Or is it more fun to just imagine..? Very Happy

Regards.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Fri Nov 14, 2014 8:37 pm

Well, Ty, as far as the women doing all the work while the men sit around drinking and eating, not much has changed over the years, has it lol2 The way I grew up that scene seemed perfectly normal to me.

Now, on the other hand, as for the visual of Kid lounging around in bed study  browsing through a Montgomery Wards catalog for underwear - Very Happy

To quote Mr. Curry, "I'm gonna get me one of my own!" Twisted Evil

huh While it might be fun to use my imagination, I think I shall take you up on your offer and pm you for that link. One can never have too much research material to stare- uh, I mean peruse. Yes...that's it, peruse.
sm

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PostSubject: A fairly common complaint...   Fri Nov 14, 2014 9:28 pm

Yes, "it's too hard on the back" is a fairly common Heyes & Curry complaint... horsie
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Sat Nov 15, 2014 1:41 pm

Ty Pender:  Ouch, hauling coal is hard on the back.  I know. I did it for my eighty year old neighbor the first time I moved to Colorado thirty years ago.  She was still cooking on a coal stove and heating her house with coal back in '85. Her walls throughout the house had to be wiped down every Spring to clean the soot off. I can only hope that coal heat is a whole lot cleaner now.

I'm enjoying this story and am still intrigued about where Heyes' missing Montgomery Ward catalog fits in.  thumbsup

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Mon Nov 17, 2014 1:52 pm

Wow Ty you sure have been having fun researching all those 'appliances'.
And Insideoutlaw...let's hope Smith and Jones can help more folk on their way to amnesty. applause

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Mon Nov 17, 2014 9:32 pm


That's right. "Toto, were not in toasterville anymore."
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments... from 13th June 14 to... 1st Nov 15   Tue Nov 18, 2014 1:01 pm

Ty Pender - Loved all the pictures you added to the story making it more visual. I remember giving my grandpa a late 1800 Sears catalog and loved looking at all the clothes, houseware items, and tools. Not sure if the catalogs appearing and disappearing have any importance. And you added more characters... Are the Zeiders from the other VS story you did? Have to admit I'm getting a little confused what's happening and where it's going. You did a few "hard on the back" comments in your story!

Inside Outlaw - Love the description of the saloon and card game - you put me right into the scene. Oh, oh, a sheriff comes in, thankfully in time to arrest a disgruntled player so Curry didn't have to draw. Wondering how Heyes knew the sheriff's name was Cord Gifford, unless he asked around or saw it posted outside the jail. So their thieving hurt yet another person - love how they are feeling bad about it. Loving this line - “That don’t seem fair. From the way I hear it, those boys could steal the bible from a preacher’s hand on a Sunday morning.” My favorite part had to be the ending where they discuss how their past life actually did hurt many and not just the banks and railroads, especially the line about maybe not deserving amnesty. Wonderful challenge!

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