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skykomish

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Thu May 17, 2012 6:36 am

Riders - I enjoyed this "interview." Curry swept through the room like a mighty wind, and he carried such a sense of presence in your story. The whole thing felt strong and fast, but relaxed and unhurried at the same time, rather like a Kid Curry quick draw. I believe that his character in the series (like the one your portrayed) was more honest and less cynical than his partner. His answer to the jaded, old adage that "no good deed goes unpunished" is the one I believe to be truth, so it's not surprising that I really like this story. Great job! draw applause
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Thu May 17, 2012 12:12 pm

Riders - I'm glad you continued this give a different perspective, and like Skykomish, I think you've captured Kid's personality really well. He's full of business and very direct, but way less cynical than Heyes. I like the analysis of Heyes having to prove that he was tough vs that being a given for a gunslinger. Really well written and thanks for continuing this
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Fortitudine

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri May 18, 2012 6:25 pm

Riders: glad I waited to comment until after the second post! You really put across the differences in character for our two boys. I do like Heyes' world-weary, cynical "We were just bandits." It's a great closing line and it's great Heyes.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sat May 19, 2012 7:19 pm

HannahHeyes -- glad you finished your story and rescued our boys. So despicable to use his daughter -- glad he got his comeuppance.
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Keays

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sun May 20, 2012 8:16 am

Nice completion to your story HannahHeyes. I especially got a kick out of Heyes apologizing to her on account of who she's married to! "That's alright, my mother tells me the same thing"!
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Ghislaine Emrys
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sun May 20, 2012 8:19 am

HannaHeyes: A very appropriate finish to the whole story! Madeline was a great character and it serves her husband right. Loved this part, which I think showcases both boys' personalities perfectly: "Well, Ma'am, if you would be so nice as to bring me my gunbelt, I can get this door open without the key," Heyes grinned at her. "Just bring both gunbelts," Kid interjected.

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Fortitudine

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sun May 20, 2012 12:21 pm

Hannah: So glad you finished the story, and good for Madeline!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sun May 20, 2012 12:54 pm

Hannahheyes: glad for the continuation. Loved Madeline's flirting with "danger". I also loved the politeness of Heyes asking for his gun belt and Kid huffing that he wanted HIS , too! Shame on the husband, risking his daughter like that!!!!

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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sun May 20, 2012 4:50 pm

HannaHeyes: Madeleine is a woman you don't want to cross! Good conclusion of your story and lots of fun.
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Fortitudine

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sun May 20, 2012 4:56 pm

InsideOutlaw: Interesting look at the relationship between our boys. And a frustrated Wheat is always fun to see.

Sky: Yikes! Ok, we get to guess which one is the protagonist (hm…think I’ve done that a time or two). Sad and full of regret, but deep love, too.

Christina: Yes…the Kid (who can always be trusted to do the wrong thing when there’s a girl involved) gets in trouble. Funny take on the challenge and nice little twist.

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HannaHeyes

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sun May 20, 2012 6:43 pm

FORTITUDINE - I liked the chivalry Heyes showed in your story in that he wanted to protect a young, innocent girl he didn't even really know from a sleazy saloon owner. And the way he finally managed it was a classic, sneaky Heyes maneuver. Nicely done sm

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Keays

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sun May 20, 2012 7:20 pm

Good one Fort! Heyes always did know how to use his head, even if it did wind up getting him into trouble. Very sensable; Good time to leave town.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Mon May 21, 2012 4:27 am

Fortitudine -- wonderful story. Like how Heyes resolved his dilemma then got out of town before his good deed got punished. Some wonderful lines. Two of my favorites: Big John was a man of parts and all of them bad. and glancing fearfully around at the drunks and the harlots and all the other trash that piles up behind buildings in the wrong part of a cow town.
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InsideOutlaw

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Mon May 21, 2012 7:00 am

Fortudine: I really liked this story and what it revealed about Heyes's character. He was still the decent child but already transforming into the cunning adult. Thanks!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Mon May 21, 2012 11:52 am

HannaHeyes - I'm glad to see that you continued this and I could see why Madeleine was so mad at her husband for using a little girl like that. What a great way to get them out jail and see 'Pa' hoist with his own petard!

Fortitudine - I really enjoyed this story of a ragged, teenage Heyes and I laughed at the clever way he tricked the girl out of Big John's clutches. You always get such great little asides in your stories and wonderful lines in your stories. I do love your writing and always look forward to reading yours.
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skykomish

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Tue May 22, 2012 7:05 am

HannaHeyes - I'm glad that someone in that family showed some sense. That poor little girl has her mother to look out for her. Madeline seems to have the needed skills to handle her husband. Thanks for continuing the story.

Fortitudine - I always love your descriptions. They convey so much without a lot of words. "His name was mentioned with respect by the pimps and the gunmen, the sharpers and the fancy women. Big John was a man of parts and all of them bad." or "...glancing fearfully around at the drunks and the harlots and all the other trash that piles up behind buildings in the wrong part of a cow town." Heyes' comments to the girl at the end were great. Just the right tone to send a nice girl fleeing away from Big John. Wonderful story! applause
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skykomish

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Wed May 23, 2012 7:21 am

quote="Fortitudine"

Sky: Yikes! Ok, we get to guess which one is the protagonist (hm…think I’ve done that a time or two). Sad and full of regret, but deep love, too.



Fort - Thank you for confusing me with SilverKelpie. I'm flattered, but Ms. Kelpie wrote the angst filled and tragic short piece you referenced above. I, alas, have yet to enter this month's challenge. Sad
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Penski
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Wed May 23, 2012 11:17 am

Riders - Oh, now we get Jed Curry's viewpoints with his own transcripts. Love how he won't say anything until he knows what Heyes said - still watching his back. Very short and to the point - very much like the Kid. Love how he discussed Heyes needing to be tough as the leader and how Heyes is still bothered by Joe Sims. You really showed the difference between the Kid and Heyes in these short challenges.

Hanna Heyes - Good for Maddie Walker being riled at her husband for using their daughter as bait to get outlaws! I was wondering if there was a mother and where she might have been, but so many died in childbirth that I wasn't sure she was around. Love how she used greed to get the sheriff away and then helped the boys out of their predictament. Good story!

Fortitudine - Grrr... I don't like that Big John Overton, not at all! You did a wonderful job portraying him as a sleeze ball. Good for young Heyes saying something to warn the innocent, young Miss McLaren. And how perceptive of young Heyes to know - "At times he almost made up his mind to tell her father, somehow, but that would get her into trouble, and probably make her fall more in love than ever." Yep, time to leave Wichita.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Wed May 23, 2012 3:28 pm

Och, Sky! I'm very flattered that someone mistook my work for yours. writing
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Ghislaine Emrys
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Wed May 23, 2012 4:57 pm

Fortitudine: Very interesting story! I really like how readers are left to wonder what exactly was going on. There could be more than one plausible reason for Overton's behavior but, trust Heyes to leap to a conclusion and then imagine all sorts of things. Yup, it would definitely be a good idea to leave Wichita...before something awful happens!

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Fortitudine

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Wed May 23, 2012 7:05 pm

Skykomish and SilverKelpie: My fingers typed "SK" and then that "Y" just slipped in.

(that's my story, and I'm sticking to it!) Rolling Eyes

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Keays

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PostSubject: Indefatiquable   Thu May 24, 2012 4:38 pm

Riders57; Heyes is so trusting isn't he? At least when it comes to his partner's aim. And it takes a perfectionist to feel that he's just not shooting up to snuff when one bullet is just not quite center! Good little snippit and really shows the character of both fellas, and the trust between them.

InsideOutlaw; Well now you've got me waiting for the full story! As in; what happened to Heyes and what did the bounty hunter's sister do?! I hope you're going to post the rest of it soon!! Loved the beginning by the way. Nice twist.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Thu May 31, 2012 3:34 pm

Well I was going to wait and try to catch all the last minute submissions at once -- but there's still 6 hours left and it's time to comment....

Penski -- great take on the prompt. Love the continuing repurcussions of their experience with the Browns and love the foreshadowing -- guns = trouble and leader of a gang of thieves. Glad to see Heyes' leadership qualities already coming to the fore here. Altogether a very enjoyable read.
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HannaHeyes

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Thu May 31, 2012 3:40 pm

PENSKI - Really enjoyed this story! Favorite lines were "We'd still be there if you hadn't of burn down their shed" and Heyes saying, "Imagine, me, being the leader of a gang of thieves." Fred and George needed a good butt-whooping ;) Good story bal

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Keays

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Thu May 31, 2012 5:12 pm

Good story Penski; I always like the stories of Jed and Han when they were still young and a little less cynical. Han's leadership qualities really come through here, and as mentioned by others; got a kick out of the foreshadowing--imagin Heyes becoming the leader of a gang of thieves!
A followup would be intersting as to what happens to the siblings after they've gone their seperate ways. The twins are obviously headed for trouble!
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