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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri Jun 01, 2012 12:31 am

Aah I knew those last minute entries wouldn't disappoint!

Remuda -- Congratulations on two years of challenge stories! congrats I'm glad you continued this story -- though poor Jed (and Han). I hope they manage to find each other soon.

Shenango -- what an interesting take on how Lom and the boys met and already the boy's future personalities are shining through -- Heyes the schemer and Kid the cautious one who watches the details. Like the various good deeds not going unpunished in the story.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:28 am

REMUDA - I do love a childhood story! Even then, Kid's good nature got him into trouble. Hope you continue this to their reunion. And congrats! congrats

SHENANGO - Really enjoyed this first meeting with Lom and the ending when its revealed they're reminiscing. Heyes is already the schemer with Kid watching out for him. Nice story! sunny

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri Jun 01, 2012 8:09 am

Riders57
Oooh, that’s a sad memory coming from a much older Heyes. Great recap from HH’s POV of one of the best episodes, there, Riders.



InsideOutlaw
Oh, dear – Kid doing good deeds for the (pretty) needy again.
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
Loving the boys talking over their whiskey. And loving their ‘we both won’ answer. Poor Wheat. (Did anyone bet on a draw?)




Silverkelpie
One of our boys has done the far, far better thing…? Gosh Silver, heightened language indeed. You play on our tender spots with ease of a virtuoso. Sniff!!!!! And yes, other comments correct. So much better not to know who.




ChristinaASJ
Does anyone really want to watch Hannibal Heyes climbing nekkid out of the…? Whomp! Sorry, I got crushed in the rush. Oooh – I just remembered the ending. This one’s great. What a treat to see that story again. (March 2009, huh? Where do the years go?)



Hannaheyes
Heyes – were you right? Is she a little bounty hunter trap?? Have to say, Heyes, Pa is nearly as sneaky as you. Enjoyed that!




Riders57
Oh, goody – now we get Kid’s point of view. Dear Kid! He is s straightforward. Good to have both boys on that oral history record.




Hannaheyes
Loving the exchange: "I still can't believe you had the gall to do such a thing just to get a little money."
"Its not 'just a little money'. Its twenty thousand dollars!"
Paul IS kinda a bit Heyesian!
Oh, come on Heyes! Get off the moral high horse. He knew you wouldn’t hurt her.
Clever Madeleine. And clever Hannah Heyes.




Fortitudine
I’m adoring young Heyes here.
Oh, clever Heyes. And poor Miss McClaren. So, this is the something real bad that happened in Wichita.




Penski
A continuation of them leaving the Browns – lovely. Oh, Han, you messed up there. George and Fred, twins? And Ginny? We’re not at the Weasley house are we?
Our boys are going to stay. Awww. I feel a party of seven warm fuzzy coming on!
But no… Fred and George have spoilt it. Oh, Penksi. You keep setting them up with families and sweeping ‘em away. You twang us like guitar strings.




Remuda
Two years solid!!!
I’m sure I can find an honorary extra-durable special award yella bandanny for that!!
Oh, poor lonely Kid at the end. Further from Han than ever. Sniff.




Shenango
Our wire dodger!! I love the old traditions. Their first meeting with Lom?? I love it already.
Lom’s putting yound Jed in charge of guarding pies? Okay. Altogether now: ‘Who ate all the pies?’ (Yup – we matronly women can be pretty dang competitive. All in wresting has nothing on pie-making for competitiveness!)
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:43 am

Remuda: I'm glad you've continued this story. Please keep going.

Shenango: What did Kid do with the second place pie? Fun story.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:53 am

Penski - A great story, showing the boys on the threshold of adulthood; and didn't they work true to form? Heyes is cutting his teeth on the best way to take charge and Kid backs him up to make sure that the chores are done and using his gun skills to fill the larder. What a pair of embryonic baddies you have created here. I agree with Keays that running into the twins again when they're all mature adults would be another great tale for you to tell.

Remuda - Two years of stories! Well done you, and may you have many more. Poor Jed. What a terrible way for his good deed to end. You can't leave the poor boy like that! Not after he helped with such a terrible injury... and I know how terrible it is! Another one that desperately needs a follow up... Please?

Shenango - I really didn't realise who it was at first, with the tied down gun. A very enjoyable take on the prompt but I do have to question the young Lom's judgement. Kid in charge of Pies??? Great fun.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:19 pm

Remuda - Congrats of two uninterrupted years of challenge writing! Love stories of the boys being boys. Poor Jed tried to do the right thing and it really backfired on him. Now he's headed to who-knows-where. Good story!

Shenango - Ahh...there's our wire dodger back in service! Missed you! Another story of the boys not quite being the men we love. That Lom... What a nice guy seeing boys in a bad situation and helping them out. Later, seeing men in a bad situation and helping them out. Loved it!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:51 pm

Thanks to all of you for the "welcome back" notes. thankyou grouphug I have been too busy with RL in the last few months to be writing and I'm hoping things will settle down now so I can get back into it. I realized as I was writing that I've missed it. It felt as good to be wire-dodging again as the boys must feel when they get back together after splitting up for a while.

Now, to go read all the other stories and catch up...
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:42 am

That was a good one InsideOutlaw! Of course anything about horses and I'm going to be right in there, but that was fun. It reminded me of when I was breaking out my Appy gelding, I was using the resistance free method as you discribed here and you wouldn't beleive (well, maybe you would) how many 'experienced horsepeople' just had to put in their two bits worth about how I was doing it all wrong! Gelding turned out to be a pretty good riding horse though! Never once in the 17 years that he and I were together did he try to buck me off. At least I didn't have anyone get up on him while I was away and try to to it 'properly'! If anyone had, I think I would have needed holding down too!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:46 am

Penski: Poor Han and Kid! They can never get a break. I woulda thought--hoped-- Ginny'd go to the sheriff and set things straight. Why do I have the feeling that you based Fred and George on real outlaws??? Wonder what would happen if they and the boys met up again at Devil's Hole?!

Remuda: I had to read the story two times to figure out that Omer was not a train engineer about to hit Jed with a locomotive. :-) Nice of Jed to try and help the injured man. Do Omer and Cray work for the railroad, though? That's the only reason I can see for why Cray would care who Jed was. I do like how poor Jed is trying to get along and get back to Heyes.

Shenango: I like this story of how the boys meet Lom--it's quite different from other scenarios I've read. Very nice of Lom to size up Han and Jed and want to help them out. But, sorry--I don't understand the last line! Why would Kid say that?

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:54 am

JDSampson; Just finished reading your story; For Those Who Tame Wild Horses. That was quite the read and very enjoyable. Christina was quite the handful and I still wonder at just how much she had to do with what happened to Kid while in prison--more than she's admitting to, I think. I also kept waiting for something to come about with Jamie and Heyes--not that Heyes is that way inclined, he made that clear in Return to Devil's Hole, but Jamie did seem interested in Heyes.
Good climax (in more ways than one) and a build up to the ending that keeps you in your seat and reading, even if it is 11:00 pm and one has to get up at 5:00 am to go to work!
Really looking forward to the writings you give us here and I will go back to your other site to read the stories you have posted there as well. Glad you joined us!!


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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sat Jun 02, 2012 1:45 pm

InsideOutlaw: Oh, so Heyes falls for a red-headed hussy. Too bad she’s a horse. Lots of nice details about horse-breaking and a wholly appropriate fate for Wheat! I just hope he didn’t do any damage to the horse that Heyes could not un-do.

Remuda: Yikes…don’t blame Heyes for being cranky. The Kid is not exactly Caruso and I wouldn’t want to have to listen to him on a long ride (hmmm…of course, I could think of a way to shut him up!). Great use of the old song.


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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sat Jun 02, 2012 2:47 pm

OOH Swiftly done ladies

Inside outlaw...a cute tail sm of Heyes the horse whisperer
Remuda...The Kid in full song..pass the ear plugs? Suspect
Riders..so thats how Heyes became the leader of the gang. bottle

Nice stories to get the month rolling congrats

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sat Jun 02, 2012 4:24 pm

What a quick start to this month and so many fun stories!

Inside/Outlaw -- you clearly know horses. I liked the Kid's commenting on how drinking more might not be healthy for the men despite his amusement/annoyance at Heyes' obsession with the new mare. horsie A very fitting punishment, I sure hope they were sitting upwind though as they watched the mucking of the outhouse.

Remuda -- I do love your saddle talks and this time a great take on an old song. I could hear it in my head as I read it. Glad Kid was able to "sing" Heyes out of the pouts lol2

Maz -- too funny! Laughing Though as the true patriot that I am, I beg to differ on whether we are part of her Kingdom -- we did win those two pesky wars of independence you know (the ones that started in 1776 and 1812). I do hope we see more of Elizabeth Darkly soon -- hint, hint.

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sat Jun 02, 2012 7:08 pm

Inside Outlaw - I love stories where I learn something. I didn't know much about breaking a horse, except what I've seen thanks to Hollywood (and we know they're always right) and that last ASJ episode with BeeGee, but I sure do now. Heyes' method sure seems the better of the two. Guess I never saw a snubbing - seems awful cruel. Shame on Lobo for egging Wheat on to "train" Heyes' horse. Both got what they deserve. Thanks for the entertaining lesson!

Remuda - Gotta say this is my favorite Saddle Talks. I can really hear the guys talking and Kid singing. Reminds me of one of the season 3 episodes when he's singing. And personally, I think Kid/Ben sings very well, especially in that jail cell about Home. Nice job!

Riders - Ahhh... I love your take on how Big Jim was arrested. Too much greed was his downfall. That and not listening to Heyes & the Kid. Like how they had to stay behind as punishment, but that turned out to be a good thing. Not a good thing to upset a rich passenger - a lesson HH & the Kid remembered and took to heart. Wonderful story!

Maz - What an appropriate challenge on this special beginning day of your queen's diamond jubilee! Gotta tell you, though, that it made me miss Elizabeth Darkly. Is she ever coming back to torture the Kid?

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:31 am

Remuda - Others have mentioned that this is their favourite saddle talk and I have to agree. They're always good but this one is excellent. You just capture the conversations between the boys with such ease. You should have been a scriptwriter.

Riders - I really enjoyed this tale of how Big Jim was arrested and such a wonderful lesson for Heyes and Curry on how to treat victims. A great take on the prompt and a great spin with their punishment being for the best.

Maz - We just had to decorate the board for the holidays, didn't we!? Glad to the boys have the bunting out.

InsideOutlaw - Your word challenge was a tantalizing glimpse of this wonderful story. I did want to know more about Lindy and how she had tried to trap the boys. Thanks for posting this so quickly and putting me out of my misery. This could be continued, Right? Hawkins doesn't seem like the type to give up easily.


JDSampson - Thanks for posting us towards your Website. I had read some of your work before, but I can't remember where, so I welcome the chance to tell you how much I enjoy your work as well as being able to read some more of it. It's a holiday weekend here, so lots of time to catch up on my reading. reading

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:41 am

Wow, I've fallen way behind in my reading.

Penski: Kid is thinking just like a teenager with no thoughts to what being fastest will really mean! Fred and George sure are awful. I wonder if the Kid and Heyes will ever cross paths with them again. Hint,hint.

Remuda: Congratulations on two years of writing and still writing such great original stories! I wonder if this separation from Han is the beginning of Jed's independence from his partner? Sad that he came forward to help Omer only to be threaten with jail. Poor Kid.

Shenango: I like seeing this early glimpse of Lom. Seems like he's doing good deeds here. It makes me wonder what made him turn to outlawing? I like him seeing himself in the two boys and lending a helping hand. It sounds like Kid's stomach got the best of him.

Remuda: Great start to the 3rd year. It amazes me how you can write a complete, fully fleshed out story using only dialogue. I just love these saddle talks! My husband and I have some of our best conversations while riding. I have to admit, though, I'm not sure I'd react any better than Heyes if my husband broke into song for any length of time!

Riders: Good tale of greed overcoming an intelligent man's common sense. I like Wheat, as always, being at cross purposes to Heyes. Wheat will always overlook logic in order to needle Heyes! This is a very believable story of how Big Jim was caught and Heyes became leader.


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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:50 pm

Finally starting on April's stories.

Riders 1
I could really picture Heyes’ reminiscing many years later in the interview on the good deed that saved Joe Sims. It sounded very much like him, the accompanying accoutrement adding to the atmosphere. Two lines really struck me: Heyes’ final line – “We weren’t the good bandits, Son; we were just bandits.”; and the very powerful description that I think nicely sums up the entire “Bounty Hunter” episode – “Yeah, we got away a couple of times, but saved him from others who didn’t appreciate an ex-slave behaving like a man.” Well written, and nicely done!

Inside Outlaw
Lovely story. It really shows the boys’ affection for each other. Well written and nicely paced. Nice surprise with Heyes’ apology; it was really the last thing I expected him to do. As well, love the ending when Heyes and Kid ride back and are so close-mouthed about the entire affair. Well done!


Silverkelpie
Gosh, that was powerful, but quiet; gut-wrenching, but peaceful. I have an idea which partner it might have portrayed, but it could really have been either. The situation rings true, but how sad it is at the same time. This is, as usual, very well written, with original word combinations and lovely descriptions. Very, very nicely done.



Last edited by Remuda on Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Mon Jun 04, 2012 5:23 am

Maz: A cute tribute to the Queen's Jubilee. I hope this means that we'll be seeing Elizabeth Darkly again soon!
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Tue Jun 05, 2012 7:54 pm

Finishing up April's stories...

Christina
What a fun story, and how perfect for the prompt! It had been a while since I last read it so enjoyed revisiting it again. I can really “see” Heyes enjoying his bath and Kid wandering around wondering why no one wants to deal with him, until it dawns on him he desperately needs that bath. Some wonderful lines here, my favorite being, “The smell of humanity at its most desperate assaulted his nostrils and made it difficult to breathe…” Thanks for recycling the story!


Hanna Heyes 1
There the boys go rescuing presumed strays again, although in this case, methinks Kid was right in that Heyes would have helped her as well. Some really cute moments here, as when Heyes tells Emily to yell for her pa, and she lets loose, causing his ear to hurt; and when asked her pa’s name, she replies, "Pa." Well done!


Riders 2
Lovely counterpart to Heyes’ oral testimony in part one. I think you really nailed the partners’ personalities – Heyes all loquacious and talking the listener’s ear off, and Kid more discrete and to the point, even wanting to review what Heyes said before expounding on his own. Wonderful story!


Hanna Heyes 2
I’m glad you posted the conclusion to part one. Hooray for Madeline, going against her hubby like that. I’d also be madder than a bobcat if my child had been used in such a way, as well. Everyone in the situation got what they deserved. Nicely done!

Fortitudine
So that’s why Heyes left Wichita? I’d have left too, under the circumstances. So here’s Heyes doing the good deed, even without Kid there to urge him along. This is, as usual, well written, superbly told, and a heck of a good read. But then, I expect nothing less from you. Love it!


Penski
I take it that was the boys’ first jail break (not counting the home as a jail). Pity they had to leave – I bet Heyes could have taken a real liking to Ginny. Wonder if Fred and George turned mean and wound up on the wrong side of the law themselves; they certainly had a good start at it! And, given they had been so much trouble in town at times, I’m surprised the sheriff let them go on their word alone without further investigation. Gosh, wouldn’t want to put my fate in his hands. Good story!

Shenango
Welcome back, Shen – you were missed! We need our wire-dodger to give a proper closure to the challenge month. Fun explanation of how Lom and the boys met up. Wonder if he would have offered them the job had he known Jed’s appetite. Also love the reminiscing at the end – sweet! Great job!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Thu Jun 07, 2012 2:58 pm

InsideOutlaw: Thanks for the education about snubbing a horse--I had no idea that was what it was called. It's great to read stories by people with specialized knowledge who bring that out in their writing. I love the comeuppance Heyes meted out to Wheat and Lobo.

Remuda: I've never heard that song before--where is it from? It fits the prompt perfectly! Nice story!

Riders57: Love the title! An exciting story and a very interesting way for Heyes to become leader. But it serves Big Jim right for not listening to common sense. Well done.

Maz: That's fantastic! Very, very clever and oh, so appropriate! I hope this means a new ED story is imminent! (BTW, did you participate in the festivities? I watched part of the pageant on the Thames live on the BBC--very cool!

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:25 pm

I finally finished reading the May stories. I wasn't able to finish the one I started writing, writing but it was nice to read what all of you very talented ladies wrote.

Penski - You really love to dangle hope and a family in front of HH and KC and then yank it away. How many times can that happen to those poor boys before they turn bitter? I like the way you have developed Heyes and Curry as teenagers. Those names-Fred, George, and Ginny-made them all red headed in my mind. The twins were certainly a piece of work, but shame on that sheriff for simply taking the word of that pair of scoundrels and not checking out their story. I'm glad you continued this story.

Remuda - I love the language and imagery you used in this story, especially, "Jed heard a sudden squeal of brakes, plaintive wail of a whistle. Steam bellowed from the chimney, shrouding the approaching daylight as if a cloud had descended." I also enjoyed, "The cacophonous, cymbal-like crash of iron on iron, shrill ululation, calls and screams abated as abruptly as they had started as the barely moving train screeched to a sudden halt. Fog enveloped the first rays of morn." The narrative felt lonely and grey. I thought that the train yard workers were well drawn and interesting, though that Cray could use a shot of "the milk of human kindness." Very well done.

Shenango - I am so glad you were back with a story this month. A very fun read, and a different way to introduce Lom than I have read before. I did wonder just what had happened with the pie bribe. The walk down memory lane at the end was sweet and heart warming. Nice job.
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri Jun 08, 2012 6:41 pm

Riders: Murphys Law of Train-robbing – never, ever listen to Wheat. Enjoyed the backstory on how Big Jim wound up in prison.

Maz: Murphys Law of Women – Heyes whould always listen to the Kid!

HannahHeyes : Murphys Law of Caves – there’s always a bear (and if there isn’t, there should be!) Great lines “bears need fiber, too.” “a body could knock his brains out – a body would need brains first.”


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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri Jun 08, 2012 6:51 pm

Ghislaine Emrys wrote:
Remuda: I've never heard that song before--where is it from?

Thanks, everyone, for the lovely comments on my story. thankyou

Ghis, the tune is a traditional folk song. It's sung in the movie, "The Long Riders"; otherwise, many singers have recorded it. There's an interesting piece on it here.


Last edited by Remuda on Fri Jun 08, 2012 7:13 pm; edited 2 times in total
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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri Jun 08, 2012 7:08 pm

INSIDE OUTLAW - Love Heyes' new copper-haired hussy! Also really liked the way he chose to train her. Snubbing does seem a little cruel in its own way. And I LOVED Wheat and Lobo's punishment!

REMUDA - Kid singing eh? Hmmm... Your story is like riding along with them, listening to everything they say. Heyes' rising aggravation level was great. Very nice!


RIDERS - So that's how Big Jim finally got arrested and Heyes got promoted to leader. Sometimes, one just wants to smack that smirk off Wheat's face... Liked how the boys punishment turned out to be for the best for them. Good story!

MAZ - Is another return of Ms. Darkly in the making?...If so, hope Heyes can make it another round with her ;)

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PostSubject: Re: Awestruck Comments   Fri Jun 08, 2012 7:15 pm

HannahHeyes -- I think it works -- sparkling like diamonds and all. Lucky them the passage didn't get any smaller. I liked the discussion of feeding Wheat to the bear and that if Wheat came back to haunt Heyes, Heyes would just ignore him like he does now. I agree with Kid though, I can see why one more word and one would have shot Wheat. sm
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